The Business of Life
by MidwestJen
Summary: Happy meets a woman who just might be able to handle all of his faces - the Son, the Killer and the private man. SAMCRO meets a woman who could help them navigate the civilian world. Set in S2-S3 but often AU, Happy/OC, rated M(A) for good reasons.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

**Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content.  
**

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A/N: This is set in S2 and S3 (anyone else notice how very short the time frame of a season is at times?).

I'm not following canon completely, but canon events will be mentioned as things that happen "off screen". Just imagine what happened on the show unless told otherwise. Gemma's rape and rape in general will be referenced, but only the aftermath will be written about. There is also a torture scene, but I marked it in case you're squeamish.

The first four chapters are written a bit differently since I couldn't seem to merge Happy and Rachel's views of events quite yet. They're just too different until I give them some back story, and Happy needed to be fleshed out a bit first. I do merge them when she starts to get involved with him and the club.

This is about the relationship between Happy and a woman who is strong and successful in public, but who is flawed and damaged, just like he is. It's about the difference between public and private persona's and how people relate to them. A relationship that both parties enter into with open eyes and minds.

I've removed almost all of my old A/N's on each chapter when I completed posting this, so I'll leave you here for now. I hope to see you again at the finish line and that you enjoy the journey.

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**Chapter 1**

Rachel grumbled to herself as she wondered what possessed her to pick today of all days to handle this. Well no, she knew why she picked today, but god it's already been such a long day and she is exhausted. She looked around the bar and sighed a bit before her gaze landed on someone she actually knew. _What in the world is Dr. Tara Knowles doing in a bar like this?_ Since her prey didn't seem to be showing up any time soon, she smiled at Tara and walked over.

"Hey lady! What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" Rachel teased.

Tara smiled back at her while rolling her eyes, "Now there's a pick up line I haven't heard in a while. I was in LA for a medical conference and my car broke down a few blocks from here. What in the world are you doing here?"

Sidestepping the question, Rachel looked concerned, "Do you need a ride back to Charming?" She really didn't want to have to come back and do this next week instead, but she also didn't want to leave someone as nice as Tara stranded in a place where it looked like they used a hose to clean it once a month. Besides, considering what Rachel had come here to do, she didn't think it was safe to leave Tara here on her own.

Tara grinned at her, "No I called my boyfriend, god that sounds so stupid at our age, he'll be here in a bit to pick me and the car up."

"Oh, that's good, this isn't a great area to be stranded in. And hey, at least you have someone to call a boyfriend, I'm stuck with batteries!" Rachel replied while snickering and wiggling her eyebrows. In the next instant she almost smacked herself in the forehead when she realized what she said. "I'm so sorry, my brain to mouth filter is apparently made of a coarse weave and the holes in it get larger the more tired I get." Tara snorted beer all over her shirt while she tried to stop laughing.

As Rachel started to turn the conversation towards something that wouldn't make her blush like a stoplight, she suddenly realized that it was very quiet in the room. Tara's snickers were slowly dying down, but her green eyes seemed to be dancing as she looked over Rachel's left shoulder. All of a sudden every movie that this scene has played out in flashed in front of Rachel's eyes.

"There's someone behind me isn't there", she groaned while letting her head bang down on the tabletop. "You'd think I'd be used to putting my foot in my mouth, but I always feel so damn surprised the next time it happens!" She left her head down while taking a few deep breaths – while she hated being embarrassed, it wasn't going to kill her and anyway, _do I really care what anyone in this bar thinks of me_?

"Rachel Taylor, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Jax Teller," Tara snickered. Mumbling obscenities under her breath that only one person caught, she looked up and smiled at the charming and very handsome guy standing next to Tara's seat. She said hello while thinking loudly that Tara was a lucky girl. Mentally giving herself a bitch slap she wondered if she should try dating again. As the blush slowly went down in her cheeks, Jax introduced her to the other two men who were moving in from the side.

_Oh my. Definitely should try dating again. And pick up some new batteries._ While the one he called Juice reminded her of a very attractive and hyper puppy with his greeting, the other man simply nodded as Jax told her his name was … Happy? _Wait what? _She knew she was staring, but she couldn't help it.

"I'm terribly sorry, but did he say your name was Happy?" Rachel was calling herself an idiot as soon as the words left her lips, this did not look like a guy who could be teased, but she just couldn't help it. She didn't think she could come up with a more unlikely name for the tall and menacing guy standing across from her. Her eyes flicked over them again and she realized they were all Sons and thought about drowning herself. _Maybe the Happy one would help – lots of water, some clothing removed …_ Dragging her thoughts back from wet naked Happy's, she groaned. Teasing a man who belonged to the local MC was dangerous enough, but she had to pick the one who looked like he could snap her in half and use her bones for toothpicks?

Tara shot Happy a slightly worried look and the guys shifted uneasily but Happy simply stared at her with his dark eyes. "Sorry sorry, that was rude, again when I'm tired I'm an idiot. Sometimes I don't even have to be tired." Rachel apologized, while flashing what she hoped was a smile and not a grimace. _Seriously, could I put myself in a worse light with these guys_? And then she caught sight of who walked in the door. _Well shit, today is just not my day is it._

Rachel hurriedly excused herself, after apologizing again, to use the restroom – hoping that when she came out they would be gone. Walking off, she heard Jax ask Tara who she was.

In the bathroom Rachel took a few deep breaths while looking at herself in the mirror. She took off her headband and fluffed her short red hair out so it looked more tousled and less business like. Her make up only needed a touch up, so she added a bit more eyeliner to make her eyes stand out more. Digging around in her purse she finally located her porn star pink lipstick and applied it generously. Grimacing, she took off her hoodie and unbuttoned two more buttons on her black shirt. Stuffing everything back into her oversized purse, she looked herself over again in the mirror. _Hot enough for what's needed. Blech._

Giving herself a pep talk while remembering why she was doing this, she slowly pulled on the mental armor she used in this type of situation. Fixing a sultry look on her face and walked out of the bathroom as a different woman.

_Of course they're still here_, she sighed to herself when she glanced over. _It doesn't matter anyway, you're not here to make friends or drool over the local MC, you're here to make sure this situation is dealt with. Even if tall dark and broody is yummy. Really yummy._

After shoving everything back down except what she needed to pull this off, she fixed her eyes on the tall slim man who was sitting at the bar. She paused just long enough to gain his attention and then smiled slowly at him, making sure to give him a surprised and yet interested look.

Sauntering over, she could almost feel the eyes on her back from the other side of the bar. She was hoping that by the time she saw Tara again that she will have forgotten about this or maybe they'd leave before they saw the show inside … _yeah that probably isn't going to happen – fuck me_. Rolling her hips as she rounded the bar she noticed that she definitely had his attention. Pete Towne, a wonderful excuse for humanity who seemed to think it was ok to beat the hell out of women and children.

When Angela had shown up for work at the shelter terrified last week because this ass was back in town and she managed to work the story out of her, Rachel almost lost it. While Rachel had only known Angela and her six-year-old daughter Pammy for a few months, she really liked them. Pammy especially was a firecracker. So with a few well placed questions to Angela and a short conversation with Short Stack, she managed to glean enough information to know he'd be here tonight and that he had a weakness for bubbly slutty girls.

Rachel wasn't bubbly or slutty typically, but she was pretty good at faking what she needed, at least short term. She pulled on her idiot girl persona and pasted a coy and flirty look on her face as she came up to him.

"Pete! How have you been, I haven't seen you in forever! It's me, Reese from Animal's, down in LA, gosh it's been so long!" she gushed. As she spoke she leaned towards him and gave him a quick hug making sure to press her breasts against him and breathing in his ear. She knew when she set this up that she couldn't just come on to the man, that wouldn't be believable at all. She wasn't runway hot, but she was attractive and this guy just wasn't. So an earlier meeting where she could pretend they had met and then work it from there seemed to be the best route to take. Not giving her real name was just smart.

Exchanging small talk, she managed to keep smiling while he undressed her with his eyes, while her eyes flicked back over to the area where Tara and the Sons were sitting. Tara's brow was wrinkled in confusion, her boyfriend was chatting with the mohawked puppy and Happy was … well he was staring at her. Trying to avoid trouble, she looked back at Tara and as she leaned forward to whisper something in Pete's ear. _I am so on autopilot with the flirting by this point. _She stared meaningfully at Tara she shook her head back and forth. Tara just stared back at her and then nodded slowly.

Rachel wasn't sure what that meant, but she was hoping it meant that Tara would keep quiet and stay out of this. She saw Tara lean over and speak to Jax in a low voice and then his eyes went to her as well, but just then she had to focus.

"Pete I'm sooooo happy we ran into each other. I was so sad we weren't able to get to know each other better down in LA," she cooed, running her finger down his chest. Inwardly shuddering, she realized she needed to hurry this part of it along before she blew it. As his hand came around and squeezed her ass, she bit her lip and forced a smile while reciting again in her head why this had to be done and that this was the easiest way to get him outside the bar. Picturing Pammy with bruises around her neck helped to considerably stiffen her resolve.

Fluttering her eyelashes and tilting her head and doing all the things that normally drove her insane to see another woman do, _god just be yourself,_ she wondered if part of the reason she wasn't dating much anymore was because of her volunteer work at the shelter. See enough women who are treated like punching bags, physically or emotionally, and you start to get a bit jaded about men and motives.

When he finally … _Jesus, am I losing my touch … _asked if she wanted to get out of there, she gave him a real smile that caused him to blink a few times. Walking towards the door, she tilted her head slightly so she could warn Tara off if necessary. All four of them were staring at her, but Tara's expression was calculating while Jax and Juice looked confused and Happy looked; well Happy didn't seem to ever have emotions on his face, but the vibe was kind of angry and irritated. Happily though, none of them seemed like they were going to interfere, so she tilted her head back up and leaned into her new buddy Pete. Pressing her breasts against his arm guaranteed that he didn't think about her lack of attention for those few moments.

Now the tricky part of the plan – getting him to the alley she picked out on her reconnaissance without making him suspicious. Her first thought was to drag him there on the pretense of sex, but she was pretty sure she couldn't sell that long enough to actually get him in place, since the very thought made her stomach churn. Finally she settled on a combo – seduction and a short cut to her place. Normally her acting skills were quite good, if she did say so herself, but this type of acting was always harder for her. Add to that the worry of things going wrong and the controlled danger she was placing herself in and her nerves started fraying. _Best to keep this simple._

Internally groaning when they got to the alley and she saw the Harley's and a tow truck parked just past it, she wondered if these were all signs that she shouldn't be doing this tonight. From running into someone she knew, _and wasn't that a stupid idea to go TALK to her while waiting, why not make sure she notices and thinks your alter ego is a slutty girl with no taste,_ to making a fool of herself in front of those guys, teasing a guy who made her throb in all the right places who then watched her get all slutty and stupid over a very unattractive guy that she left with in less than 15 minutes … yeah tonight could have gone better.

Sucking it up, she finally got Petey boy into the alley and close to the bag that she had tossed in here earlier. This part? This part she liked. This part she could do all day long and sleep well at night. She leaned around and as she slid partly in front of him, she brought her right foot up, encased in a nice thick boot with a pointed toe, and then smiled at him as she kicked his knee out of the socket. When he went to scream, she flattened her hand out and chopped him in the throat. As he flailed a bit on the ground, she took advantage of the moment and grabbed her gloves out of the bag and made a quick decision to grab the pipe instead of the knife. She did ease it into the sheath that sat in the back of her pants just in case. This was more poetic. _Besides bloodstains are a bitch._

As she leaned down and zip tied his hands behind him she yawned a bit. God she was tired, thank heavens tomorrow was Saturday. Leaning against the building, she kicked her foot up behind her and waited for dumbass to quit crying and pay attention to her. She was positive she'd gotten him out of there before he had too much to drink – she wanted him to remember this very very clearly. As his breathing sort of evened out, even if he was really raspy from that throat chop, he started trying to get up while telling her all the wonderful things he was going to do with her and intimating that she was all manner of a cunt and whore and bitch and slut and ... When he started getting repetitive, she sighed and kicked him in the nuts.

"Look asshole, I'm tired and I don't really feel like listening to much more of your shit. I let you get a bit of it out because I'm really a nice person, but enough is enough. We're going to have a chat now about how you are NOT a nice person and how you ARE going to become a better one in the future." Rachel smiled prettily at him, happy there was enough light in the alley that he could see it. _I do so enjoy the contrasts, my words are sugar sweet, but my body is going to cause him some serious pain in the next few minutes._ Sometimes she wondered if she enjoyed this too much, but then the woman she was acting for would flash in front of her eyes and with the memory of how broken, bloody and bruised they often were, the moral issues seemed to just go poof.

"Now, let's chat about women. As a woman, I feel it is my duty to let you know that when you treat women like you have in the past? They don't like it. They don't deserve it. I will not put up with it." As he sputtered and asked what the hell was going on and what she was talking about, Rachel stared at him wondering if she should drop the names now or later. _Screw it … I prefer to let them know why the entire time – after all, if they're unconscious at the end, then they don't get the same message._

Tilting her head so the light fell on her face, Rachel smiled and could feel the anger that was starting to emanate from inside paint her face. She waited a few moments and then leaned down and grabbed his hair while she placed one knee on his chest and faced the outside of the alley, _the last thing I need now is to get caught_. _Good intentions do not go far with law enforcement. I passed the not going to jail exit about three back._

"I wonder," she mused, "if you ever thought about how it must feel to be helpless when someone you love takes a pipe to you?" Rachel smiled gently and slowly waved the pipe that was in her other hand.

"See my friend Angela? She's such a nice girl. Anyway, my friend Angela was telling me this story this week about her ex-boyfriend who recently came back to town. I'm as romantic as the next girl, so gosh, you can imagine how my heart warmed to hear that her man came back to her. Then," Rachel smiled at him with her teeth as he closed his eyes and started repeating fuck over and over, "she started telling me about her man. How he treated her. How he made sure she knew her place. How he put her into the hospital. How he raped her. How his favorite weapon was not his hands, because that could damage HIM, but a pipe."

She casually swirled the pipe in her fingers and then brought it down twice hard on his ribs. Rachel needed him to be able to talk for a bit longer, but she also needed an outlet for all of this anger so she could continue. He screamed in a breathy way, guess his throat was still bothering him, _shame that,_and tears started leaking out of his eyes.

"So she told me this story and I was sad and angry that someone could treat my beautiful friend in such a way. However I also realize that she is an adult. The very first time you laid a hand on her she could have walked out the door. So anything past that first time? That's on her. It's not her fault, don't get me wrong, don't think that was ok on your part you son of a bitch. But she is an adult and her choices are her own and while I can be sad at her choices and angry for her, I can't live her life for her since she made a choice to stay." He opened his eyes and actually looked relieved. _Unfuckingbelievable. Best to nip that thought right in the goddamn bud._ Rachel took a few breaths to calm down; this is about punishment and deterrence – not revenge. _Methodical, not explosive._

"Then I remembered. And I bet you remember her too, she's such a sweetheart. Pammy is just the cutest little girl isn't she?" Her voice dropped an octave and she actually started trembling before she got control over herself while he paled even further. "Oh look at that, you DO remember Pammy. I looked at my friend and asked her, optimistically that – wait do you even know what optimistic means? It means hopeful you stupid imbecile. That even if he didn't treat you right, he DID treat Pammy ok, right? And she looked at me with those big brown eyes and I saw the pain in them and knew. It didn't take long for her to tell me what you did and why she finally was able to leave you. Mothers protecting their young are often so much stronger than they think they are. Three years later they've healed – maybe not completely, but they're doing well. Good job, doing well in school, making friends – living their life." Rachel took another deep breath, oddly enough both to brace herself for what she was going to do next and calm herself down before she went ape shit on him.

"Why are you back?" Rachel asked him point-blank. "Tell me why, after three years you decided that looking Angela and Pammy up was a GOOD idea." She stared at him as his mouth opened and closed like a fish. Rachel twisted her hand in his hair and pulled his head back a bit, "If you don't want this pipe coming down on that dislocated knee, you will answer me shithead and you will answer me fast." When he just stared at her with a defiant look on his face she sighed.

"I would like to say, for the record, that I've given you every – well almost every – opportunity to get out of this lightly. Yes your knee is dislocated and I probably fractured a rib or two and yes, it will be difficult to swallow for a while. However, I know you can still talk because you exercised that privilege earlier … so we're not going to fuck around on excuses. Either you tell me what I want to know right now, or I'm going to shatter your kneecap and then slowly and carefully break your fingers until you talk. After all, if a three year old can endure it – so can you."

The look in Rachel's eyes seemed to scare him since he looked away, maybe hoping someone would walk by the alley. She had done her homework though and knew that people simply don't stroll past in this area and where they were at had enough shade to keep a casual glance from seeing them. She did spare a few thoughts for the bikes parked out there, but figured she would deal with that situation if and when it happened.

Finally he looked back up at Rachel, just in time, because she was shifting to start working on his left hand, and told her that he was broke and needed somewhere to stay. He knew Angela was working and figured if he sweet talked her, she'd let him stay. He swore up one side and down the other that he wouldn't have hurt her or Pammy, he just wanted somewhere to live for a while. Rachel sat there and listened to him make excuses and wanted to cry. How could he think so little of what he'd done in the past that he would think it would EVER be ok that he was around them again?

Rachel finally waved the pipe in the air to shut him up and asked him what she couldn't not ask – in a sad and lost voice she questioned, "How could you ever think they'd want to see you again after what you did? You violated Angela, you hurt her so badly she was hospitalized, you beat a three year old, and Pammy has cigarette burns on her little body that will always be there. You will always be something she has to live through and you just wanted a place to stay?"

By the time she finished speaking she wasn't looking for a response anymore and when Rachel swung that pipe for the third time, she aimed straight at his jaw. She didn't want to hear another word. The crack when it landed soothed her as she remembered Pammy crying about how some other kid made fun of her legs because of the burns. _I am so done here._

Rachel jerked at his head to get his attention, since he was mostly writhing around on the ground at this point; apparently that crack wasn't in her imagination. "Here is what is going to happen, are you listening to me Pete? Good good, ok, so here's your new life deal. And let me tell you right now, if you want a life, you're going to follow my instructions. You are going to leave town and never contact either Angela or Pammy again. See how easy that is? Super simple, leave and leave them alone. I'm going to even give you gas money, how awesome am I? You are going to get in your car with that gas money and you're going to drive as far away as you can get as soon as you can. You are probably going to want to hit the closest charity hospital on the way out, but that's ok, as long as you are either A, on the road or B, in a hospital bed – I will leave you be. But you need to listen to me closely; you will be gone by the end of the week. You will be a bad memory. Or I will make you into one." Rachel stared down at him and watched as he realized what she was saying.

"In case you are as stupid as the past has indicated, I also want to let you know that Angela and Pammy have left town. There will be no retaliation for this. Well I'm going to retaliate a bit because your stupid fucking actions have cost me a friendship that I'm going to miss, but you – you are not going to retaliate. Are we clear on all of my instructions? Are there any questions?" The adrenaline was starting to really wear off at this point and Rachel needed to get this done and over before she crashed and made a fatal mistake. He slowly shook his head while crying. He did look pitiful, but the twinge was quickly smothered when she remembered hugging her friends goodbye.

"Goodbye Pete, I really hope we don't meet again, for your sake." With that, Rachel put pressure on the proper spot to make him unconscious. _Why my dad taught me how to do that is beyond me. Handy as hell though. _ After verifying that he was still breathing she sighed, stood up, stretched and then swung the pipe four more times – once on each hand for Pammy and once on each side of his ribs for Angela. Tossing the pipe back into the bag she leaned down and verified that he was breathing and that he wasn't bleeding too badly since some of the hits had broken skin, and then cut the zip ties with her knife. Rachel quickly backed away because she had seen entirely too many movies where they're faking even if she knew he wasn't.

Taking a few deep breaths as she stood there, Rachel dropped a baggie on his chest that had $100 in it for gas, since she knew damn well he didn't have the money to leave town. With her foot she nudged it into his jacket and covered it back up – she really should have done that before she cut him loose. _I am getting seriously tired and it's starting to show_.

Taking off her gloves, she picked up the bag and put her hoodie back on, then used a wet wipe on her face. Rachel looked back at Pete when she was almost to the mouth of the alley and felt another twinge. She is not a naturally mean and violent person and this part bothered her a bit. Unfortunately the fact that she'd seen people tonight that she knew and that she hadn't heard leave meant that calling this in so he got picked up, as she planned on, would mean that those people could get caught in the crossfire. And Rachel wasn't stupid enough, not for a rapist and abuser, to put any of the Sons of Anarchy in the crossfire.

Except – they were right there – sitting on the back of the tow truck – staring at her.

_Well fuck._

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**Next up - Same day, Happy style_  
_**


	2. Chapter 2

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

**Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content.  
**

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**Chapter 2**

Tomás "Happy" Lowman was not having a good day.

It started this morning when he realized that the croweater that he fucked last night was still in his bed. She had to be new, everyone else knew that you did not get a free bed with Happy. Fuck and get out. He rolled out of bed to piss and tossed clothes at her on his way to the bathroom.

"Bitch get up, get out and don't let me catch you sleeping in this room ever again." Of course she had to fucking make noise about it, muttering something about something. Fuck her, it's his room. He turned around and stared at her as he said in his low raspy voice to get the fuck out now before he gave her something to fuckin talk about. As he stretched his arms over his head in the bathroom he could hear her scrambling to get out of the room before he got back and grinned to himself.

Walking back into the bedroom he sighed. He loved his life, the brotherhood, what he did for the club, the respect, the open road. He didn't necessarily love living in the places he did. He grew up in a clean home where things were neat and tidy and smelled clean. Whether that made him a pussy or not, he still preferred it over this. Still it wasn't in his nature to complain and he didn't have the cash to live anywhere else since he was paying for his Ma's care and medication. He barely had enough to keep himself in smokes most months.

Besides there were perks – travel to work was easy, booze was free since he paid for it with his dues already, and willing women were around just about whenever you want. Being Nomad paid more and allowed him to take on extra work from different charters, so there wasn't any point in this line of thinking anyway ... he needed the money.

After taking a nice hot shower and loosening up all the muscles that were tight from yesterday's long ass ride from Nevada, he shaved his head smooth._ Fuck I'm getting old if that ride makes me feel tight._ Happy moved onto shaving his face and brushing his teeth while deciding he had time today to see Ma.

The last few times he had talked to her she hadn't sounded great even if she said she was fine. As a single mother who raised his sorry ass and dealt with everything he put her through all of these years, Happy was dedicated to making sure she had everything she needed. She was a strong woman and deserved respect. In fact he could safely say that Rosa Lowman was the only woman he could say he ever loved.

Flipping the covers back over the bed after getting dressed, Happy grabbed his wallet, knife, gun, and keys before locking his door and going into the main clubhouse. Being a Friday, there wasn't much activity out this early, although tomorrow morning the room would be littered with half naked bodies and reeking of alcohol, smoke and sex. Bobby lifted a coffee cup in greeting as Piney leaned on the bar bitching about something.

The brothers here were pretty good, although there was some internal tension between Clay, the President and Jax, the heir apparent and VP. He didn't really give a fuck if they got along as long as it didn't impact the club or him. Going Nomad after being in Tacoma for so long was hard though, not that he talked to friends a lot, but it was nice to sit and shoot the shit with them occasionally. The last year or so he's barely been in one place long enough to stay a night or two at a time in each clubhouse. With his Ma's health failing faster Quinn told him to hang with the Charming chapter unless something came up that he is specifically needed for.

Fuck he's being maudlin, he must be feeling old. He ran a hand over his head and growled at himself while making his way towards Church to see if Clay was around. "Hey, if you don't need me, I'm going to see Ma." As Clay looked up at him he nodded and said, "Hope she's doing ok, I'll call if we need you back any earlier." Jerking his head up Happy moved outside and lit a smoke. If nothing else a ride will clear all this bullshit out of his head.

* * *

When he got to his Ma's place he stopped and let the engine idle while looking around. What the hell is he paying his aunt and cousin for? Fucking weeds grown up, yard needs mowed and even from here he can tell that the place is looking more rundown than ever. _What the fuck are they doing all day?_

Tossing his smoke, he turned off his ride and made his way inside. After greeting his Ma, he turned to his aunt and told her he wanted to speak to her outside. As she started to say something he shook his head, pinned her with his dark eyes and said, "Now."

After listening to his Aunt Theresa's excuses for 15 minutes he held up a hand. "Tiá, I don't give a shit about why it's not done. Unless Ma told you not to do it or you and Marco are physically incapable, in which case you need to tell me, I want this place kept up. Period. I will not have Ma living in a slum because you and your kid don't feel like doing something."

This is one of the reasons he tries to only associate with croweaters and sweetbutts – they don't fucking argue, they know their place and they do what they're fucking told. Other women seem to have to argue everything while justifying why they can't do what you told them to do. Happy stared at his Aunt for a few more moments, before interrupting her and asking her what exactly he just said that she didn't understand because he'd be happy to fucking clarify it for her. _Jesus Christ this shit makes me tired. She's your sister and your kid's Aunt – take care of her, it shouldn't be this hard_. When she didn't say anything he nodded, looked meaningfully around the yard and walked inside to visit.

His Ma took him to task for being "disrespectful" of his Aunt, but his manners, even for Ma, only stretch so far. Aunt Theresa and Marco weren't doing the work; they don't get any slack from him. Not when he stretches himself as thin as he does so he can pay them to do it.

She looked so frail now that he had a chance to sit and look at her. Cancer is a bitch; it eats people from the inside out. In his memories she has always been so fierce and proud. Now she seemed as if a strong wind would blow her over and it just broke his heart. In a few years she'd be gone and except for the club, he'd be pretty much alone in the world.

After Happy made them all lunch and cleaned up the dishes,_ fuck I miss being able to cook what I want_, they visited for awhile longer. Rosa Lowman had his number though as she looked up at him and asked what was wrong.

"I don't know Ma, just been a bit off lately. Feeling unsettled. It'll pass." He wondered why she got a sly grin on her face, but didn't say anything. Usually she'd start in about an Old Lady, although she used the term wife, and kids and he just didn't have the patience to listen to it today. He gave her a hug as she went off to nap and told her he'd see her soon and that he loved her. Words he'd only ever use for her.

* * *

Riding back to Charming, Happy kept thinking about why his Ma would ever think he'd get an Old Lady or have kids. If any of the brothers he knew were unsuited for that, it was him. He was known as the Tacoma Killer for fucks sake. He wasn't like Jax or Opie here in Charming who could go from being a killer in the day and then being someone's husband or father at night. He didn't understand how anyone did that. What woman would be able to handle what he did? He'd never be able to respect a sweetbutt. _No way he's staying with pussy that's been used and abused like theirs have. _And there is no way a straight woman would come near him if she caught a hint of what he did. Yeah he could lie, but fuck, if there's anywhere he ought to be able to be himself at, it's at home.

Shaking his head as he realized he had slipped back into that maudlin shit again, Happy realized he could feel his prepaid buzzing. Pulling into the gas station up ahead, he pulled out the phone and saw that Jax had tried to reach him a couple times in the last 15 minutes or so. Trying to think of what the hell could have gone wrong now, as it seemed Charming was under some kind of spell half the time, he dialed Jax back.

"Yo, what's up?"

"Where are you?"

"On my way back to Charming, just coming up on Manteca, why?"

"Can you stop in Manteca at Johnny Joe's, that bar off the main strip? Tara was driving back from LA and her car broke down. I'm on my way with Juice and the tow, but you know that fucking area – I don't want to have Tara hanging around there. I'm still maybe 15 minutes away."

Fuck Happy hated this kind of crap. But he knew if Jax had the choice he wouldn't have bothered him with it, and he does like Tara a bit – she's got grit. Not like Gemma grit. Gemma would run you the fuck down if you got in her way. Tara was softer about it, but she still had an edge of steel running through her. Hap figured it was from growing up the daughter of the town drunk, dating Jax while dealing with Gemma at a young age, and then becoming a surgeon. _Takes steel to get through some of that shit._ He could respect that.

"Sure, she inside?"

"Yeah, if you could hang until I get there, I'd appreciate it. I'll buy you a round before we head back," Jax offered.

"Deal, see you then." Clicking the phone shut, he made his way into Manteca, heading towards the dive end of town. As he passed her car down the street a bit from the bar, he briefly wondered why she was off the main highway before he pulled his ride up the closest he could get it to the door. Apparently they were starting early for a Friday or parking was out back since he had to park in front of the next building over.

As Happy went through the door, he flipped his sunglasses up on his head. Tara was sitting with someone she seemed to know, a petite redhead with hair you wanted to sink your fingers into. Short hair, but it seemed to suit her, from what he could see. He nodded to Tara when she noticed him and leaned against the wall to wait for Jax and Juice. As the girls talked he looked around the bar, but his eyes kept being drawn back to the redhead. She bothered him, but he wasn't sure why. He couldn't see someone who looked like her being interested in anyone this place would cater to. Shit he couldn't even see her face and he knew that. He heard Jax's ride pull up next door and the beep of the tow as Juice parked and straightened up off the wall.

Nodding to Hap, Jax moved towards Tara as he and Juice flanked him, probably wanting to make sure she was ok. Walking up he noticed the volume level in the bar was decreasing as the three Sons walked farther in. Stopping a couple feet behind and a bit to the side of the redhead, he was suddenly startled to hear her say something about not having a boyfriend and relying on batteries.

_The fuck?_ This close though Happy couldn't help but notice how soft her hair looked before he mentally snorted at himself. _Keep walking old son, her type ain't for you._ He couldn't help his lips twitching though when Tara gave away the fact that there was someone behind her. When she slammed her head down on the table and blushed he started wondering how far down that blush extended and how hard it would be to … _fuck_.

As the girl straightened back up for introductions, they moved around a bit to her side. He almost laughed out loud as he heard her mumbling something about fuck her luck under her breath. Turning, he got his first look at her face. _Fuck she is gorgeous._ Not classically sexy but she had a fine boned heart shaped face with huge blue eyes and pretty pouty lips that he really wanted to get better acquainted with – preferably around his dick. She had a mischievous air to her and a neck that seemed to flow forever before it hit delicate shoulders and a nice rack. She seemed tiny, but not model thin, so there would be curves. Happy liked curves and would prefer not having to worry about breaking something while he fucks. He's been tempted to force feed some of the sweetbutts he's seen the last year while on the road. Bitches keep getting skinnier.

As her eyes landed on him it almost felt like she was touching him. Watching he could see her eyes dilate and darken a bit and her cheeks pink up – _fuck she was hot and she wanted him_. Then she opened her mouth and asked if his name was really Happy. He could tell she didn't mean to say it and if she could have snatched the words back she would have, but he really wasn't in the mood to take shit from anyone, even if she was hot and he wanted to fuck her. She did know who the Sons were though; he could see it in her face as her eyes flicked to their kuttes and then back up to his eyes. He stared at her as she apologized before noticing that her face went pale.

_I'm just standing here, how the fuck did I get scarier?_ Then he noticed her eyes flick to the door as she took a deep breath. _The hell?_ Maybe her old man got here or something. _Whatever_. She took off for the bathroom, and he couldn't help but notice that she was as tiny as he thought she was. Built though and somehow had legs for miles, which made no sense at all. As she quietly left, he turned his head slightly to see who just came in and was confused. Ugly as fuck guy with no chance in hell of being with someone who looked like her. As Jax bought a round, Happy slouched back in his chair and wondered if he should make a play for the girl anyway. Maybe she'd be interested in a walk on the wild side.

Looking at Tara, Jax nodded in the direction the girl had just left in and said, "Who is she?" Tara said Rachel was an accountant who did business consulting and shit. _Damn how did he miss her name earlier? _She'd been in Charming for a year or so working for Greg Denning and while Tara didn't know her well, she seemed nice. She couldn't tell them much, but she did know that Rachel was divorced with no kids, volunteered for the Charming Women's Shelter and has a place in town on Mill Street. As he took another sip of his beer, he noticed the girl, Rachel, coming out of the bathroom.

_That is not the girl who went in there._ Happy stared, trying to reconcile what he was seeing. She seemed … sluttier, especially in light of what he'd just heard about her life. As her eyes flicked over to where they were sitting she seemed unsure for a flash and then it was gone. She casually looked around and focused on the douche that came in behind them earlier. As she started walking it was clear she was headed to that guy. _What the fuck. If she wanted to screw, I'd have been happy to help her out. Fucking women._ Idly listening to Jax and Juice talk about exhaust intakes he noticed Tara was looking at Rachel too, but seemed more confused than anything. _Yeah, join the fucking club._

Then the girl leaned in close to the dickhead as if she's whispering in his ear and stares at Tara while she shakes her head. _The hell?_ Tara eyeballs her for another second and then gives her a slow nod back. _Women are fucking nuts._ He noticed Rachel taking a quick glance at him before he heard Tara say to Jax in a low voice, "Jax, do you know that guy Rachel is with?"

As Jax and Juice looked up, they both seemed confused as hell to see Rachel with the guy. _See it wasn't just him, that shit is fucked. Something is going the hell on. Women who look like that do not go over to men like that and hit on them. Unless she's a druggie and wants a score? Doesn't have the body of a junkie, but hell who knows._

"That's Pete … Towner, Towne something I think. Hasn't been in town for a few years, used to live in Charming. Asshole who likes to get rough with women." Jax was staring at Rachel concerned now. The Prince of Charming was raised like Happy was – there are some women who don't deserve your respect or protection, but this kind of woman? This kind does. At least the woman who was sitting at the table a few minutes ago did. Happy refused to advertise this fact about himself, but Jax and Juice couldn't hide it if they tried. Juice had a hard time not respecting any woman, even one who passes herself around to every brother in the place while hoping for a chance that's never going to come.

As they're pondering what the hell could possibly be going on, Rachel and Pete got up to leave. _Well fuck, time to make a decision. Go after them or not. Does she need help? Is that what the hell the shaking was about?_ Tara doesn't even seem to know, except that she doesn't want to barge in unless she has to. His head hurts and this beer is definitely not cutting it now.

Now he's pissed, because he's pretty sure Jax is going to order them to follow to make sure she's ok. _Motherfucker_. He noticed Jax open his mouth to say just that, when the little bitch tilts her head just enough to look at them real fast. It didn't seem like she wanted anything other than to make sure they were still there. She's still not acting like the girl who was sitting at the table earlier. That girl was real – whoever is walking out the door is a plastic Barbie doll. _A gorgeous tiny red headed Barbie that he really wants to take out of the box and play with, but not real._

Then they're gone and Jax and Tara and Juice are all scrambling to make sure the little bitch is okay. _Fuck my life._ As Happy opened the door he caught the edge of their legs as they turned down the alley near the bikes. Well at least he doesn't have to go out of his way.

A scream is cut off from the alley and they pull out their pieces with Jax covering Tara. Happy is confused because that didn't sound like a girl. As he and Jax peek around the corner he's suddenly harder than he's ever been in his life. That tiny girl has the asshole on the ground and she's sliding a knife into the back of her jeans. He grabs Juice and pulls him over to the other side of the alley while the girl is leaning over the guy and doing something to his hands. _Fuck I'm hard. Who **is** this girl?_ She should have broken his jaw, fucker is yammering on about hurting her for this. _I don't fucking think so slim._

Just as he's about to step around the corner and intervene, she stands up from where she was yawning against the wall and kicks him square in the nuts. _The fuck, yawning? _Not all of her words are clear, but they definitely get the picture. _This alley has great acoustics_. He can see Tara squirming and wanting to break it up until she hears the part about the rape and beating on a three year old. He personally doesn't believe in rape or hurting babies – and a three year old is a fucking baby. _If a woman isn't willing, there are plenty of others who are – and who the fuck hits a baby? _

Staring at this slip of a girl as she metes out punishment to this son of a bitch is the hottest thing he's seen in a long time. Her face looks so innocent and sweet, but the venom and anger rolling off of her is intoxicating. He wants to press her up against the wall, use her own knife to cut her jeans off and slip his dick so far inside her that she can taste it. His eyes feel like coals in his head as he stares at her and his cock twitches in his pants when she slams the guy with the pipe. She makes a few mistakes from what he can see, but shit this isn't her day job. _I need to know this woman better, and I know I've never thought that before. _As she seems to be winding things up, the four of them gather on the edge of the tow truck to wait.

"Did we really just see that?" Juice seemed to be in shock.

"Well now I know why she didn't want me to approach her," Tara answered in an odd tone of voice. "Think she'll call the cops to pick him up?"

"She better fucking not," Happy said roughly. "We'd get picked up in a second just for being in the same area."

Jax just stared at the alley and waited patiently. "The fucked up thing is that for once we're witnesses to a crime that we had nothing to do with. How often does **that** happen?"

Happy's lips twitched into an almost smile as they heard footsteps. She seemed to pause before coming out of the alley as if making a decision. Then she stepped into the light.

**This** is the girl that was at the table. Wide eyed, innocent, with a fresh scrubbed face and a hoodie – and a look to her that you'd swear she could do no wrong. Then her eyes jerked to the four of them and she paled.

_Gotcha._

* * *

**Next up - Some of Rachel's story and another meeting with Happy**


	3. Chapter 3

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 3**

_Well now what Rachel?_ There were numerous ways she could deal with this. Running is quickly becoming an early favorite, but she didn't think that would do anything except piss people off and fail spectacularly. Finally she decided to handle it the way she would any negotiation – she waited for them to make the first move. Folding her hands together, she stood quietly and looked at them, focusing on Jax since he seemed to be the leader.

Taking a closer look at the four of them to try and pick up some clues on the direction this is going to go, she was slightly relieved to see that no one looked condemning. In fact, shock seems to be ruling the day, which is good. If she can get out of here before they fully process, she can avoid a lot of explaining that she isn't going to want to do. _I really don't want to fight with the Sons, oh and peachy, the Jax guy is the Vice President. Apparently my life **can** improve._

Rachel was avoiding looking at Happy directly since she was still embarrassed from earlier. _It has nothing to do with the fact that you wanted to nibble on him and then he saw you act like a bubbleheaded skank all over another guy. Absolutely **nothing** to do with that._ Meeting his dark brown eyes now, hers widened at his look. He was looking at her with the most intense expression she had ever seen. _Um, ok. Why is he looking at me like that? Do I care why? It's fucking hot._

Looking back at Jax, Rachel patiently waited.

Jax fixed her with narrowed blue eyes, "Wanna tell me what happened here just now?"

"No, not really." _First rule, keep it short and simple – give nothing away you don't have to._

Juice and Tara looked incredulous at her answer while Happy's lips seemed to ghost into a smile for a fraction of a second. Jax looked a little annoyed now.

"Fuck that, we just listened to you beat down that guy. What the hell were you thinking?" Tara tried to step in and laid a hand on his arm, but he shook it off. "Do you do this shit on a regular basis?"

"No." _Yeah this isn't going so well, his face is getting kind of red. I don't think he'll hit me, not with Tara here at least, and really why do they care? I know he just wants answers, but it's not his business. _Rachel sighed to herself and settled in to wait. She was running on fumes at this point, the stress of the day on all fronts catching up with her. _Do **not** yawn, yawning would be really really bad right now._

Then she thought of an idea that might work. It would be a bit risky if he realized what she was doing, but it had a good chance of succeeding if she worked through it fast enough. At least it would get her out of here tonight so she had more time to prepare and decide what, if anything, she was willing to explain.

By now Jax was standing pretty much in her face, so she tilted her head up and gave him her best smile. "I really appreciate you guys not calling the cops. I was going to call them, but I didn't want them to question you guys." She widened her eyes a bit as she went on. "I know you'll agree with me that the police aren't really that useful in many situations." _Will you see how I'm manipulating you into agreeing with me that I did you a favor?_

Jax had stepped back a bit from her when she started smiling, and now narrowed his eyes at her. "Yeah, no cops – and we wouldn't have been happy if you had gotten us involved." _Well duh, I'm not an idiot, nor do I have a death wish._ "Still like an explanation for what we just saw." _Crap. Well fuckit._

"Why?" _Shit what's the term they use for people the club protects …_ "Was he a friend or something of the club?" _Friend should work, I need to do some research on MC's apparently. Have a feeling this isn't going to be the last time we 'chat'._

Jax looked at Happy and Juice, then over at Tara. "No, he wasn't. Not saying you were wrong to do what you did, we heard some of it." _Fuck my life._ "But there a reason you choose to do it tonight when we were here?"_ Awesome, he's just upset because they could get caught up in it. Happy dance. I wonder if Happy dances … focus Rachel!_

"I'm really tired, so I'm going to be kind of blunt, but I mean this as respectfully as possible. I understand what you're saying and I swear that I had this planned before I saw the Sons. I didn't have a big window to act. I'm not using you guys as a way to shift the blame if the cops come around. I'd prefer not to, but I will deal with it if I have to. However, if you really want to avoid getting questioned, you guys should probably take off. The longer you're here, the more they'll remember you." Rachel gave him a level stare.

"She has a point man," Juice muttered. She gave him a smile. Letting her eyes drift over to Happy, she saw he had his eyes narrowed at her._ Shit I think he noticed I was manipulating Jax a bit. Observant fucker._

Rachel looked over at Tara and sighed. She had really been hoping to strike up a better friendship with the doctor. Tara seemed like the kind of person she would get along well with. She gave her an understanding look and said, "Tara, it was nice to run into you again. I know tonight probably changed things, but if you ever find yourself without a lunch partner, I hope you'll call like we talked about." Jax shot Tara a look when she nodded at Rachel.

"Gentlemen, lady, as wonderful as it was to see you all tonight, I have to be going. If I don't get home soon I'm not going to be able to drive." She smiled at them and started to step towards her car.

"You hurt?" She turned back around at the sound of the raspy voice. _Oh my god, say something else._ "No, just exhausted. It was a long day." Rachel looked at Happy through her lashes as she smiled at him, and then got into her car. Keeping her eyes on him as long as possible, she backed out and headed towards the main highway. What a voice.

Rolling her neck as she drove, she turned on the radio to help keep her awake. Opening her windows and sunroof, she jammed along with the Beatles and enjoyed Elvis crooning to her. _Love me tender would be nice. I'd take hard too._

Looking in her rearview mirror, she started to laugh. Somehow the motorcycles and tow truck had caught up to her and were now right behind her. She hoped that they were just escorting her and not planning on another chat. Her eyes picked out Happy's bike, since he only had one rider, and smiled a bit. A tumble would be nice, but she knew herself better than that. She'd tried to do one night stands before, but she could never seem to relax and enjoy herself. _He makes a hell of a nice fantasy though._

When they reached Charming, she stuck her hand out the window and waved to them as she made her way to the store. A quick trip inside and then she was finally pulling into her garage. Sitting still for a few minutes, she gathered up her energy, grabbed her purchases and headed in the kitchen door.

_It's a good thing I didn't have anything breakable in my hands._ Lying on the floor with 95 lbs of dog licking her face and generally being overjoyed to see her, she giggled. At least she knows she'll always be greeted happily when she gets home. Shoving Peanut off of her, she grabbed his face and gave him a big kiss on his nose. "Hey sweetie, are you happy to see me? Or are you just hungry and know that I went to the store for you?"

Getting up, she opened the back door to get wiggly butt out of the way while she put the things she had bought away. Rachel loved her home, it was the single best purchase of her life. It was large for one person, but she justified it by saying that Peanut weighed almost as much as another person and the cats demanded more room than most children. They were obviously annoyed that she had been gone so long since they seemed to be boycotting her arrival.

Yawning, she moved around the large spacious kitchen and grabbed some cheese and crackers. Letting Peanut back in, she started locking doors and checking windows as she munched on her late dinner. She'd love a bath, but didn't think she could manage it without drowning. Cleaning up her mess, she turned off the light and made her way to the bedroom in the dark. _What an interesting day. Let's hope tomorrow isn't._

* * *

Tomorrow wasn't. Actually the next few weeks were nice and calm. Rachel was able to get back into her routine. She got up early, made breakfast for herself and the menagerie and then went off to work where she enjoyed puzzling out new ways for her clients to make money – or finding money they already had but weren't keeping track of. Lunch at her desk or in a local restaurant wherever she happened to find herself and an afternoon in the office dealing with her long distance clients. Home by five she typically spent her nights reading, watching TV, or playing games on her computer. Once a week she spent the evening at the Shelter where Peanut would pretend not to be a scary guard dog and she would teach women basic self defense. She worked out, swam laps in her pool or went for a run every day. It was a full life.

_I'm bored and lonely._ The thought kept circling her brain. She blamed the bikers and that night for it. Rachel was perfectly happy before that night. She was. It wasn't that she wanted to become a biker chick or something, it really wasn't. She was positive that wouldn't be a good look for her and the lack of a routine would probably throw her into the loony bin … but …

Laying on the big sectional couch in her living room, Rachel stared at her ceiling fan as it went in slow lazy circles. _Time to man up sweetie, lie to others if you must – but don't lie to yourself._ Running a hand through her hair, she twirled some of it around a finger as she considered her life. It was a good life, a steady and safe one. That Friday a few weeks ago was an aberration, not the norm for her.

"So if I'm happy with it, why am I so restless and lonely?" Maybe she should be looking into dating again? Moving after her divorce made things tougher, she admitted to herself. She and Anthony had been together since she was 18, getting married only a couple months after meeting each other. _Months that they had barely spent any time together at all, relying on phone calls and short visits._ Not her brightest move, but they did alright for a long time. Kinda.

She had learned that stubbornness and refusal to give in as a kid. Growing up as the adopted only child of a man who fell apart when his wife died was rough. She was two when the State took her away from her biological family. Covered in bruises with internal injuries and sporting a few fractures, she spent her third birthday in the hospital. It's actually one of her first memories – a nurse gave her a red Popsicle through the bars of her crib. According to the records she skimmed when she was in her teens, she went directly to John and Michelle Taylor from the hospital.

Reading a diary that Michelle had written when Rachel was young, she knew that she hadn't been an easy child. She was an angry frightened mean pain in the ass who spent a lot of time hiding under and behind things. Her new parents were 45'ish years older than she was as well, so she didn't have any friends her age, although she did hang out with a lot of adults. Eventually she warmed up to her dad and she was able to get some control over her emotions, but she never did connect with Michelle.

Then Michelle died when she was eight. Her father had loved his wife so much and the heart attack was a shock that he never really recovered from. Looking back she was always surprised at how fast he went from a loving family man to an angry morose drunk who barely noticed she was around, unless it was to yell at her. When he was really drunk, his favorite tirade involved her being the reason Michelle had died – too much stress on her heart. He did try to stop, and he hated himself for not being able to, but if Rachel was honest, by then it was too late. Within a few months she was handling the money, cleaning the house and making sure he got to work every day.

She still didn't have many friends, but she was so busy trying to keep all the plates balanced that she just didn't have time to care. She was in all of the accelerated classes at school and a book was the perfect escape. Since dad was a big reader as well, she always had books. When she thought back now to those years, she wondered how no one saw it. Her dad's brothers and their families never said a word, even though they had to have known something was wrong. Teachers didn't step in, neighbors enabled the behavior. _There is no way I was **that** good of an actress. And people wonder why I have trust issues. Pfft._

Sitting up, she decided to go for a run. She didn't want to think about that dark period when her entire life went up in smoke, when everything changed. _Okay, back to the problem at hand, stop getting bogged down in the past._ Lonely. Why all of a sudden?

Heading out the door with Peanut on her heels, she started the loop she ran most frequently. _I divorced Anthony eight years ago and we hadn't really been together for a few years or so before that. I moved here a little over a year ago and the change was good. It was. It is. I couldn't take anymore of the big city, of the job that was making me insane._

Was she just finally settled enough to notice a lack? Rachel didn't think it was her old restlessness coming back. The dangerous kind where she made decisions based on her whims. She had spent a lot of time working through the results of those choices and could see in hindsight what was going on. _I'm more self aware now, I'm not going to throw myself off another metaphorical cliff just so I can have a change._

Hitting the halfway point where she usually turned right, she made a left. Peanut swerved once before falling back in line at her side. She got a doggy glare for messing with the routine and laughed. He was a good pup. She had gotten him from a friend after her last move when she needed something to cuddle and her friend wanted something to protect her. A german shepherd/husky mix who was going to end up well over 100 lbs since he wasn't done growing, he looked ferocious. _Runt my ass. Peanut is as bad a misnomer as Happy was for …. Oh._

Grumbling to herself, she spent the next three blocks telling herself that she was an adult woman who was self sufficient, successful, and had endured more than her share of trouble. She did not need a man. _I do kind of want one though._ That was the rub. She didn't need one, she wanted one. She missed having someone care about her day, someone to cook for or who would help if she was sick. She missed being in a partnership where she didn't have to do everything alone.

The trouble with just suddenly deciding to start dating again was that she didn't trust people. In general she was very friendly to the people she met and she was quite easy to get along with, but rarely did anyone cross the line from acquaintance to friend. She knew she was a demanding friend, she did, but she couldn't help it. Loyalty, honesty and an actual give and take relationship were things she couldn't compromise on. Rachel had tried that when she was younger and spent years dealing with the results of being taken advantage of.

Sometimes she wondered if she would have ever gotten married if she had known Anthony longer or spent more time with him. Even after they were married she never opened up those secret places inside and she knew that was part of the reason they were divorced now. The other part was his steady descent into a meth addiction that he was just now recovering from, but it hadn't been his fault entirely. She had her share of blame for the divorce.

So she had a lot of acquaintances and what she called 'places friends'. The kind of people you only see certain places and get fairly friendly with, in a narrow sort of way. More than an acquaintance but it didn't move beyond the place she associated with them. Like Joyce at the diner on Main Street – they could spend an hour chatting about their lives, but they never spoke outside of the diner. In fact, the last true friend she had was her now ex-sister-in-law who took Anthony's 'side' in the divorce. That still stung. She didn't speak to her dad's family anymore. The way they treated him the years before he died was something she wasn't prepared to forgive … ever. She never really knew Michelle's family.

Maybe she should ask Peanut to pick her out a date? She lost her stride while snorting before settling back into a smooth rhythm. _God I sound like a lame loser with no friends. Well ok, I don't have a lot of friends really, but it's not because I'm a lame loser. I'm just standoffish with most people and have little patience for fake crap. In my opinion more people should want friends like that._

* * *

Looking around, she unhappily noted that she was not where she thought she was. She had planned to turn on Elm to get back to the house, but apparently she was busy enough moaning over her lack of dates and friends that she missed her turn. _Damnit, I should have just taken my normal route._

All of a sudden the hair on the back of her neck stood straight up. Someone was watching her. Not glancing at her, she didn't notice that usually. This person was staring at her. She tried to casually look around, but didn't see anything that looked out of the ordinary. Just as she was gearing up to get the hell out of there, she heard a horn honk behind her.

Slowing to a stop, she turned to see Tara in an older style car smiling at her. Panting a bit, she made the appropriate gestures that told Peanut to heel and be friendly as she walked over to say hi.

"Hey I thought that was you! Not many women around here have that hair."

Rachel smiled a bit, "Yeah, I don't usually come this way, but apparently I got lost in my thoughts enough to stop paying attention to where I was going." She leaned over and tried to stretch so she could make it back to the house. She didn't normally run this long and it was warmer than she'd expected. Looking down at Peanut she was suddenly unhappy with herself. She'd run out of the house without thinking about it, so she didn't have any water with her. As hot as it was and after a run like that, poor Peanut was panting like crazy.

"That's a huge dog. He friendly?"

"Oh he's a softie usually. Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a bottle of water in the car would you? I ran out of the house without any and Peanut has got to be thirsty."

Tara laughed as she looked around in her car, "Peanut? I take it he was much smaller as a puppy? Shoot sorry Rachel, I don't. I do know where I can grab a bottle for you real quick though."

"Oh you have a baby with you! Aren't you a happy looking kid. It's ok Tara, I don't want you to go out of your way, I'll just have to head back. It was nice to see you again though," she added hesitantly.

"This is Abel, he's Jax's son. I was watching him since I didn't have a shift at the hospital. It's good to see you again too. I hope you don't think I was avoiding you or think badly of you for that night. I was hoping to get together with you for lunch next week now that I've caught up on my backlog at the hospital." Tara got out of the car and lowered her voice. "Seriously, that wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen, it's not a big deal for me, ok?"

Rachel nodded slowly. "Alright, I'll take your word for it. Thanks, I'd love to do lunch next week. Just give me a call or text me a day. Next week is fairly light. Sorry, I would love to chat more, but I really need to get Peanut some water." _I'm so sorry baby, I'm a bad doggie mama._

"I'll shoot you a text on Monday and we'll see what we can schedule. And c'mon, I'll run in and grab you a bottle of water before you have to head back. You and Peanut," she snorted lightly, "don't have to go in; in fact it might be better if you don't. It'll just take me a few minutes."

"Oh, do you live around here or something?" This wasn't an area Rachel expected to see Tara in period, but it certainly didn't seem like a good place to live. It wasn't even a residential … _oh crap. Yeah, it might be better if I don't go in. Even if he might be there._ "Tara, you don't have to." she said as she stared at the gates of Teller-Morrow Automotive. _You really don't._

"It's no problem at all, I was heading there anyway. Jax and Gemma haven't seen Abel all day and since Jax has to be there late tonight, I'm sneaking him in for a visit." She rubbed the top of Abel's head as she spoke. He really was a cute kid. You could definitely see his father in his face. "Just let me run in and run it back out. I'm sure you don't want to deal with a bunch of drooling idiots."

She dropped a hand down on Peanut's head and nodded, "I appreciate it. I'll just hang out next to the gate until you get back if that's ok?"

"Just give me a few minutes to give Abel to Daddy or Grandma and I'll be right back." Tara hopped back in the car and slowly drove through the T-M gates.

Rachel stretched her back and legs a bit as she walked Peanut over to the gate. "C'mon sweetie, Tara will bring you some water in a minute and then we'll head back to the house." She ruffled his ears a bit and sat down on the curb with her back to the gate. _This is not the smartest position to be in Rachel, you know better. You always put your back to the safest area, not the one where you know they are probably armed._ Even with the eyes that had been on her, this felt safe, as illogical as that was.

Peanut sat up and wagged his tail as Tara walked back out. "Thank you so much, we both really appreciate it." Rachel squatted down and made him a bowl out of her hand. "Not the most hygienic, but it works," she said smiling. As she was finishing the bottle, a rumble settled deep in her bones, interrupting the conversation about working out that she and Tara were having.

_I know that rumble. God it's been years since I've ridden on the back of a bike. _Anthony had owned a Harley for a few years while they were married, but they didn't go out much. It was something he liked to do alone. _One of the many many things he liked to do alone._

As she stood back up and Peanut stood protectively in front of her, she looked at the gates to see a formation of four men on motorcycles ride out of it. Jax seemed to be in front, with Juice, Happy, and another man following. They turned and paused outside the gate next to where she and Tara were standing.

Tara leaned over and gave Jax a kiss while informing him that Abel was with Grandma and to call her when he wanted her to pick him back up. He nodded, smiled, and twined a hand through her hair to tug her close for another kiss. Rachel didn't want to intrude, so she smiled at the other three, with her eyes lingering on Happy. She made a short motion with her hand and Peanut stepped around her and moved to her side, although he was still alert. His eyes were trained on the men as well.

Tara stepped back and Rachel saw Jax nod at her. "Rachel."

"Jax. Juice," a barely noticeable pause and a bigger smile, "Happy." She nodded at each man and then stepped forward to shake the hand that was being held out to her, "Hi, I'm Rachel".

"Quinn." He seemed nice, but his eyes were definitely crawling on her. She smiled and stepped back a bit, resting a hand on Peanut's head.

Jax quirked his lips, "Nice puppy." She beamed, "Thanks! Peanut and I are a good team." Peanut looked up at her and wagged at the sound of his name and she scratched him a few times.

"Peanut." That voice again. _Don't drool on the man Rachel. _Her laughing eyes shot up to Happy's and she smiled a little. "Yes, Peanut. Names don't always have to match, wouldn't you agree?" _What the hell are you doing? Talk about tugging the tail of a tiger. I'm an idiot with no sense of self preservation whatsoever._

Quinn barked out a laugh. Rachel swore she saw a smile on Happy's face for a second. "She's got you there Killer." _Ok, that's an interesting nickname as well. Hmm, he's not happy that Quinn told me that._

Jax made a nodding motion with his head and then waved to Tara as they restarted and pulled away. Happy held her eyes for a few moments, and then followed. Rachel groaned and put her head in her hands. A few seconds passed and then she heard Tara say, "You are either incredibly brave or not that intelligent. I like Hap, but even I would never tease him."

"Oh I'm pretty sure I'm not that intelligent. I just can't help it. I open my mouth, and that's what comes out." Tara just stared at her. "I'll try and do better, I will. He didn't seem that angry though, did he?"

"Well … you're not bleeding, bruised or dead, so no, he didn't seem that angry. But please, be careful. Not that you run into the guys that often." _Yeah, I know. More is the pity. And she is joking about part of that, right?_

"Of course. Hey I need to get back and start some dinner, but I'll see you next week for lunch, ok?" _Hah, I wanted to get to know other people and now I am. See, sometimes following your instincts still works out. On the other hand, some of my instincts were telling me to do very naughty things to Happy, so I should probably still pick and choose._

* * *

"Who was that?" Gemma glanced out the gate watching the redhead and her big ass dog jog away. Jesus she had legs that went up to her neck, how is that possible for someone that short?

"That … was Rachel," Tara mused.

"The one from Manteca you guys were talking about? **That** is the girl who ran Pete out of town?" Gemma snorted at the thought, that little girl did not smack down some guy. "Tell me another one."

"No, that really was her. And I agree, I watched some of it and still can't see it when I look at her. I did find out today that she teaches self defense at the Shelter, so she's obviously more dangerous than she looks, but … brave too, she teased Happy again."

"She what!" Gemma exclaimed. "Brave my ass, she's stupid and has a death wish."

"Yeah, that was my reaction as well. I warned her afterwards that it may not be the safest way to talk to him." As Tara walked into the office after taking Abel, Gemma lit another cigarette and stared into space while thinking hard. "C'mon Gem, I need you to give me some pee. Need to run those tests."

"Yeah yeah. Fucking gift that keeps on giving. Joy." Gemma paused before walking back into the office and tapped her nails against the wood, glancing back in the direction that Rachel had disappeared in.

_Perhaps it's time to get to know little Miss Rachel better._

* * *

**Next up - Happy's last few weeks and some of his history**


	4. Chapter 4

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 4**

_Oh I am going to enjoy this, yes I am._ Happy eyed the little girl standing in front of them and was still battling the urge to go push her up against the wall. He took in her stance, calm and patient, and was a bit surprised. She'd come out of the alley and been nervous, where the hell did it go?

When she glanced at him, he tightened the grip he had on the bumper of the truck. _This is insane, she's just a girl. Get a fucking handle on your shit._ Listening to her politely refuse to answer Jax's questions, he had to fight back a smile. Jax probably wouldn't appreciate it, but shit, not many people can stand in front of an angry Son and act like that.

Watching her expression as she fenced with Jax, he could see she was about to drop. There were faint lines around her eyes and her face was taking on a grey tinge. Still she was refusing to give in. When she started tilting her head and smiling, he knew whatever was coming next was going to be a fucking move. Something bitches did when they weren't getting their own way. At least the VP was smart enough not to completely fall for it, although she did manage to calm him down somewhat.

He saw how pleased she was when she got Jax down to saying it was because they were worried about their own skins and had to bite down on another smile. Happy had a feeling he knew what she was going to say next – and it wouldn't have a damn thing of substance or an explanation in it at all. _Why the fuck is she smiling at Juice now?_

Happy could tell from the look Jax shot Tara that the girl's lunch plans probably wouldn't be happening. When Rachel's face fell a bit and the lines on her face became deeper, he spoke before he could stop it, "You hurt?" _Damnit._ _That smile should not affect me at all._ _I need to get laid tonight._

As she headed off in her sporty little cage, he shook his head slightly before sliding onto his bike. Tara still had a look on her face that said she was thinking, but quickly hopped on behind Jax so they could all take off. Jax had a far off look in his eye, but said, "Let's catch up to her a bit, and make sure she gets to town safe. Juice, run her information. Let's make sure she is who she says she is."

Hitting the road, he tried to do as he had earlier and let the wind clear his mind. Usually the hum under the tires and the rumble of the exhaust soothed him in a way few things did, but he couldn't seem to settle tonight. He blamed the little red cage in front of him. The girl affected people in too many ways, especially him. Hell it only took one night and she has Jax all twisty and Tara in her own head. _Not worth the price. Not worth getting involved in any way._

* * *

Heading into his room later that night, Happy snarled. His resolution not to think about the girl didn't last very fucking long. They got to the clubhouse and Juice made sure to tell everyone about the girl and what they saw. Jax and Tara had headed to Jax's place, so he was left to verify Juice's tale. He didn't want to talk about her, especially in the clubhouse, but there wasn't much he could fucking do about it either. The looks he got when they heard she teased him about his name and he didn't kill her were a pain in the ass. What, did they really think he was going to hurt a tiny little girl for some words?

When he had grabbed a blonde to ride his dick, all he wanted was to get off; he'd been so hard earlier that he was still aching. He kept seeing that sweet face and those big eyes staring up at him getting darker as her pupils grew. _Was fucking distracting since he didn't want to fucking think about her. _He finally gave up, flipped the blonde around so he didn't have to look at her and let his imagination flow.

_Long deep strokes into that tiny little body … he'd probably bruise her hips with his fingers. Flashes of her wielding that knife and taking care of her business. Spreading her wide and working her with his dick and fingers and mouth until she begged._ He went off like a fucking volcano.

_Damnit._

* * *

Leaning against the door to the parking lot with his ankles crossed, Happy lit up and listened to the rain coming steadily down. Blowing out the smoke he wondered if shit around here was ever going to be calm. One thing about sticking around one charter, you were soon up in everyone's business even if you didn't want to be.

Clay and Jax were still doing a passive aggressive dance, which was just bullshit. If you have a problem, tell 'em and fucking work it out. Gemma and Tara were walking a razor's edge through all the tension but seemed like they had shit on their minds as well. Gemma seemed especially jumpy the last couple weeks, but he knew she'd been in that wreck, so maybe she was still hurting.

Opie was still on the road, mourning his Old Lady. That was a fucked up situation as well. Piney and his ex were taking care of the kids, who were also mourning. Opie needed to man up and take care of his own kids. Shouldn't be something the old man had to deal with while he's off clearing his head.

Tig was up Clay's ass so far you could barely see his feet. Didn't seem to matter what the fuck Clay said, Tig was there agreeing. Of course that pissed Jax off. Piney seemed to be firmly on Jax's side when he had an opinion. Bobby and Chibs were trying to smooth shit out, but no one was even really talking about the problem, so that wasn't working either. Juice was laying low along with the prospects._ Juice has the right idea._

Whole place felt like it was teetering on the edge of something. Happy knew that this was the best place for him in terms of being able to help out his Ma, but he was not enjoying dealing with everyone's interpersonal bullshit. He preferred to sit back and watch, and he had a feeling he was going to get sucked into this one way or another.

Privately, he thought a lot of the tension had something to do with that girl Clay wanted taken out the night before Donna's funeral. Something was screwy with that. Jax interrupting them, sending Chibs and him away, never coming back that night and Tig coming back bloody. Clay had seemed like he knew more details, but didn't share. Happy just couldn't work out where it was stemming from. _Not that I fuckin care other than all the arguing._

Sighing, he turned around and went back to his room. Sitting down in the armchair that he'd appropriated from an empty room, he dug through his bag and found his Kindle. He had picked it up before he went Nomad since he knew he wouldn't have room on the bike for books. He hated it, a book shouldn't feel like this, but he didn't really have a lot of options if he wanted to read.

He thought, not for the first time, about the club seeing him lounging in a chair reading on a Kindle. Like he can't read because he's the club executioner? There are only so many hours you can use up with booze and pussy when you're not working. Clay, Jax and Opie had families; Bobby cooked and did Elvis shit; Piney drank and fished up at the cabin; Juice did something on a computer; Chibs could sit in front of a TV for hours; hell even Tig drew. Tig drew some seriously messed up shit that could even make Happy shudder a little, but he did draw. Still, he was pretty sure that the sight of him reading would fuck with them.

Happy was a private man. Few words and a "leave me the fuck alone" vibe meant that not many people really knew him. Shit, most people were scared of him. They might think they knew the Tacoma Killer. People seemed to get the impression that he sprang full grown from his momma with a knife between his teeth and a gun in each hand, ready to do battle for his club. He never bothered to correct them.

It's true that he had been an angry bastard from his teens until around thirty. The neighborhood they had lived in was rough and it wasn't hard to slide into the gang lifestyle. Pops had been a mailman and was killed when a car clipped him coming around the corner when Happy was twelve. Just an accident where someone was drunk driving in the wrong place at the wrong time … his chest still tightened up with the remembered pain and rage.

Ma had taken up the slack and Happy had helped where he could. The life insurance paid off the house and she put a little of it away, but still had to work long hours in the library to put food on the table and clothes on their backs. She worked at that library for over 40 years when she finally retired.

But it meant he was alone a lot when he hit his teens. His friends were mostly in the 10th Street Snakes, so he joined. The Snakes were about family and respect, two things he craved. Running in stolen autos from the city, the Snakes picked up most of their cash from the chop shop they ran. They also gave him a way to deal with the rage he was carrying by putting him on one of the crews that took care of shit when necessary. He found that he was as good at that as he was as a mechanic.

Always different, Happy stayed in school until he graduated and even took some general ed community college classes at night. His Ma would have burned him alive if he had dropped out of school. But if he wasn't at school, he was with the Snakes from fourteen until he got locked up when he was twenty. He sported quite a few tattoos dedicated to that portion of his life.

Somehow he always managed to stay a step ahead of the cops when he was underage, even though there were a couple who had a real fucking hard on for him. Ma didn't like the gang on principle, even if she doted on most of the boys he brought around for a home cooked meal occasionally. When he came home one day when he was fifteen and told her he wanted to be called Happy from now on, the entire street heard her opinion on it.

Still, Ma did her best. She instilled a love of reading in him and taught him how to treat women. _Well women who deserve it anyway, even Ma disliked whores._ Pops taught him how to observe, Ma taught him how to put that shit together so that it made sense. The Snakes taught him about brothers, family and loyalty.

Lately his observations were telling him that something was wrong with Redwood Originals. He'd been with the Sons now for close to 15 years and he was pretty good at seeing trouble coming. Trouble was definitely coming.

* * *

Ten days later, Happy sat on the picnic table outside the clubhouse and smoked while pondering the clusterfuck he had just walked out on. Seemed Jax wants to move the club into areas where they can earn without running guns and Clay doesn't think the Sons should change what works. While he could see the appeal of adding legit shit for earning, he could also see Clay's point. They knew guns, they had contacts in the business and while the club was struggling a bit right now, it had always worked well for them. Since he wasn't a member of this charter, at least he didn't have to vote on it, a small blessing.

This asshole Zobelle was stirring the shit too. He and his pet monkey Weston were getting all the Nords riled up, which was making things tense all over. Clay didn't seem to see the danger of this fucker, but Happy did. Jax seemed to get it a little – the guy was smart and well connected in the straight world. The club may be able to work all sorts of things in the dead of the night, but when it came to straight dealings with civilians, they couldn't rely on their normal tactics. _Be easier if I just shot the dickhead. Drill him right between the eyes and problem solved._

He flipped open his phone as he tossed his butt in the opposite direction of the can one of the prospects kept putting out there. Happy snorted, apparently the kid didn't like picking up cigarette butts in the parking lot. He didn't seem to get that the can was making it worse since the guys were pointedly **not** using it just to fuck with him.

Listening to the ring on the other end, Happy hoped Quinn had time to stop down. He was happy to follow his President and the table's decisions, but he wouldn't mind a bit of guidance or help in figuring out what the hell he was doing here. If this wasn't where he needed to be for Ma, he'd let them sort their own shit out.

"Was just talking about you Killer," Quinn said as he picked up. "Might have an easy job for you to do next week. What's up?"

"Let me know the details, shouldn't be a problem." He paused. "You going to be in Charming anytime soon Prez?"

Quinn hesitated and said slowly, "I can be, I'm riding that direction next week anyway. Do I need to stop?"

"I wouldn't call it a need. Fuck … I don't know what I'd call it." Happy got up and walked over to the ring, leaning on the ropes. "Shit here is off. Internal shit, external shit – something is going on. Just be nice to bounce a few things off of you." Rane Quinn was one of the few brothers he would call friend and the only one he'd actually open his mouth and talk about shit with. Sparingly.

"As your President or friend?"

"Both."

"Hmm. I'll call you Tuesday with the details on the job if it's going down. I should be in Charming Thursday night. I can stay a couple days, but then I need to go up to Tacoma and check in with them. I've been in Kansas for two weeks." Quinn paused, "Is this visit official enough that I need to call Clay and let him know I'm coming?" Typically Nomads just turned up, but if Quinn needed a sit down at the table, courtesy demanded that he give Clay a heads up.

"Naw, nothing like that. Like I said, shit just feels squirrely, but I don't think it's something that will affect the Nomads more than anything else Charming does." Hopefully Quinn would read between the lines and get what he was trying to say, he was reaching his limit on how deep he wanted to get into this on the phone.

"I'm riding with Cookie this month, he'll be with me." Quinn and Cookie often rode together when Happy couldn't ride with him. Nomads liked to double up on the road – safer when traveling through so many territories.

"No problem, I'll let Bobby know." Bobby and Cookie were like a pair of women when they got together. They'd sit for hours talking about recipes for fucks sake. He enjoyed cooking himself, but that was ridiculous. "And Quinn … thanks."

He clicked the phone shut and decided to go for a ride and clear his head. He was doing that a lot these days.

* * *

Maybe it's because when he used to come to Charming, he didn't go into town much, but Happy swore that it was getting smaller. He'd be doing well on forgetting the tiny redhead and then suddenly he'd see her out and about. That hair of hers was hard to miss.

He was surprised the first time he saw her in the sun. If he thought she was pretty in the dark lit up by a streetlight or inside a seedy bar, seeing her in the sun was enough to make his jeans tight again. All creamy golden curves topped by a deep auburn head of hair that seemed to have gold running through it.

Still, he kept his distance – she wasn't for him. A quick fuck was one thing, but she didn't seem the type to go for that. No matter what they had seen in that alley. It had taken him a day or three to be able to think clearly on it, since every time he did he got hard and ended up getting a blow job, but he was eventually able to.

Happy decided it was the sheer surprise of what had happened that had made it seem more than it was. She wasn't doing this regularly, he'd bet his ride on that. She'd made too many mistakes that he could see now, from talking to Tara beforehand to being seen with the douche in public in a place the guy is known at. She didn't disguise herself, and she could have easily lost control of the situation in the alley if the guy hadn't been surprised. Her push up on the guy could have used some work too, she didn't hide that she wasn't enjoying it very well.

She was cool and calm while administering that beat down though and he still enjoyed replaying the scenes he liked best. His favorite fantasy right now involved her using that knife on the guy before Happy took her in the alley. Her discussion, if you could call it that, with Jax afterwards showed more of her than she probably thought.

No one is naturally that cool and calm in the face of an angry Son, let alone three of them. She has had practice standing her ground with angry people in her face. She also knew that less is more when trying to control a confrontation. The little manipulations were pretty easily seen through and not something she used naturally. If you watched her eyes, they seemed to say much different things than her lips did.

But it was seeing her on the street a few times over the next couple weeks that really firmed up who she was. She was business. Rarely a hair out of place, she always appeared to be professional and friendly with whoever she was with. That gorgeous body was always in some kind of suit or dress that made her look untouchable. _Doesn't mean I don't still want to touch. Lots of touching, starting with ripping those clothes off of her and sinking my hands deep into that hair so that it's not perfect. Fuck yes I want to touch._

A woman like that? She doesn't get involved with an enforcer for a MC. Shit, she doesn't get involved with a MC period, but his hands were way too bloody to touch her even if she did. Jax might be able to get away with being involved with a doctor, but he and Tara had known each other since they were kids. Even with that history they still had problems with the differences between them. He'd overheard more than one argument or seen the signs of one about the club or what Jax did for it.

He was good at his job because he enjoyed it and it was good money. It wasn't always killing, but it was always about imposing your will, about winning and blood. When he was younger, he had really enjoyed the killing. Almost like a type of bloodlust. Now though, shit was calmer and he mostly did what had to be done without embellishment. It was a job, like anyone else's with good days and bad. What was important about it was that it was always for his family, his brothers.

How do you go to work, assassinate or torture someone for information, and then come home to a woman who wears a business suit and works 9-5? He just couldn't see how that would work at all.

* * *

Returning to Charming Thursday afternoon, Happy really wanted to take a nap. He had left Tuesday for Nevada, happily used his skills to extract information for a local charter, had a few beers, slept a couple hours and then headed back to Charming. Pushing up on 40, he was starting to feel trips like that a bit more.

Seemed in his absence, Opie had returned with a renewed sense of commitment to the club. Although from what Happy could see so far, there was something more wrong there than just Donna's death. Still he was happy to see Opie. The man had been through a lot for the club in the last few years – prison because of a brother and then losing your wife not long after you've returned could break a lesser man.

Celebrating Opie's return and Quinn and Cookie's arrival that night made for an even longer day, but fuck it, you only live once. He could sleep when he was dead.

* * *

Jax Teller stared over the roof of the clubhouse trying to figure out how to accomplish what he wanted. He knew that he needed to get control of the club away from Clay before they all ended up in prison or dead. Opie was being fucking reckless too, that shit with the body the other day was fucked up. Felt like he spent more time doing damage control these days than anything else. Shit with Tara was even strained with all of the damned stress.

As his eyes picked out a figure jogging towards T-M, with what looked like a small pony running alongside, his prepaid rang. Staring at the woman and trying to remember where he knew her from, he dug his phone out and flipped it open.

"Yeah?"

"Jax it's Luann. I'm really sorry to bother you, but Georgie is pulling more shit. Can you come down?"

"Fuck Luann. Yeah, let me grab a couple guys and we'll head out." Closing his phone, he saw Tara coming down the street and honking at the runner. She was close enough now that he could see that mop of red hair._ Alley girl. _ Standing up, he grabbed his binder and headed to the clubhouse to see who was up for a visit to a porn studio.

Big Otto had reached out last week about his Old Lady having some kind of trouble. Jax, Juice, and Happy talked to her and then roughed up the guy causing it. He'd thought that'd be the end of it. Georgie certainly didn't seem like he was going to be that much trouble. Seems he was wrong.

Taking off with Juice, Quinn, and Happy he saw that Tara's car was parked in the lot but that she was out front talking to Rachel. Jax thought it would probably be a good idea to stop and say goodbye since he knew how Tara felt about CaraCara and the girls who worked there. If she found out he left in a hurry to run there again, he's pretty sure she'd use her scalpel on him. _Yeah, better stop._

* * *

Riding out with Jax, Quinn and Juice, Happy was pleased. They could hit CaraCara and deal with the problem, enjoy the view a bit, and then he and Quinn could head over to the bar they went to when they wanted privacy to talk. He hadn't really spoken much to Quinn since he arrived last night. He wanted him to get his own impressions of what was happening.

As they near the gate, he caught a glimpse of red hair and groaned. Somehow she was here. As Jax pulled over, he saw that not only was she here, she was here with Tara and a big ass dog. _ Jesus that dog is almost as big as she is. _ He wondered idly if she and Tara ever managed that lunch or if Jax had told Tara she couldn't do it.

Standing there with that german shepherd mix in front of her, all of his resolutions to stay away almost crumbled. She looked a lot more touchable now that she was in a tank top and running shorts. Flushed and a bit sweaty, she didn't look at all like the woman he had seen from a distance the last couple of weeks.

She turned away from Tara a bit and smiled at the rest of them. When her blue eyes met his, her smile got a little brighter. Her hand made a short chopping motion that confused him for a second, until he saw her dog step back and go to her side. _Hand signal obedience trained, that's a bit unusual. Course a dog that was the size of a fuckin pony could be dangerous untrained._

He shouldn't, but he liked the fact that he affected her. It's one thing to gain the attention of a sweetbutt who is basically fucking your kutte, women like that are like tissue. He wasn't going to do anything about it, but it was an ego boost to have her sending out these little signals that she liked him. The extra to her smile, the way her eyes lingered on him just a bit longer than was normal.

Paying attention again, he heard her call the dog Peanut. What kind of sissy ass name is that for a dog? A dog like this needs a real name, something he can be proud of. What the fuck.

"Yes Peanut. Names don't always have to match, wouldn't you agree?" While Rachel was answering Jax, she was definitely looking at and talking to him. He had to give her credit, he couldn't remember the last time someone other than his Ma had teased him on purpose. _ It's nice to have someone who isn't scared of me around. Not that I'm going to see much of her. _

Quinn shot him a look and then burst out laughing, "She's got you there Killer." _Fuck me. Wonder if she'll stop teasing now? _

Riding off, he couldn't help but hope that she wouldn't stop, even if he knew it would be better for everyone involved if he just avoided her from now on. The town was small, but it wasn't that small. She didn't need a biker in her life, let alone one like Happy. He didn't need a civilian woman in his life, even one that looked like that. She made him think about things he had given up on years ago.

* * *

Tipping back a beer in a dive outside of Lodi, Happy waited for Quinn to speak. He could lay out all the reasons he was uneasy, but he knew from experience that Quinn was faster at picking up charter issues than he was. Quinn had been running the Nomads for years and had seen just about everything by now.

"You're right, there is something going on. Internally, the issues between Clay and Jax are going to be a problem. From what I could pick up, Clay made a decision that Jax didn't agree with. The fact that no one could tell me what that decision was concerns me." Quinn rubbed a hand over his face tiredly.

"There was a girl that Clay wanted dealt with; she was going to testify against Bobby." Happy supplied. "Friction was already there, but it was put down to Jax becoming a father and Tara coming back. I'm not sure that was all of it, but no one is talking. The girl though, she was young. Jax showed up and stopped the hit and just scared her off instead."

Setting down his beer, Quinn nodded and then went on. "Jax comes across to me as righteous, so he obviously believes he's doing the right thing. Clay is definitely more experienced in club matters, but he has a stubborn edge to him right now that wasn't there last time I was here. I'm not sure what the initial issue was, but the problem now is that I can see those two disagreeing just to disagree – especially Clay. He's a good man, but he has his blind spots. Being right is one of them. There were times he and JT would go at it for weeks, but the club was different back then. JT was in Ireland a lot too, so there was a natural break in the arguing … made it less obvious. What you've got here is dangerous to a charter if they can't knuckle down."

"Yeah, that's what I'm fuckin afraid of. I can't really do much, this isn't my home and I'm technically an outsider. The problem is that while I'm not a voting member, I am still on loan so I'm following their lead. **You know me**. I'll do **anything** for my club, but I don't want to throw myself down in front of the wrong bus either." Happy admitted in a low voice.

"What's the deal with Opie?"

Happy wrinkled his brow. "You know Donna was killed not long ago, think he's having a tough time with that and the kids."

"Might want to watch that situation too, from what I've been hearing he's pretty volatile right now. Heard a few different stories from charters he stopped at while he was on the road. Not sure if Clay is aware or not … or Jax." Quinn shook his head. "I'm not sure what to tell you my friend. The shit outside the club isn't anything out of the ordinary really. Someone doesn't like the way we do things and wants to change it. Sure it's not usually from characters like this Zobelle guy, but the race wars and everything else is just same shit, different day."

"What do you think about this idea Jax has for CaraCara, with them going in as silent partners and being security?" Happy was sure **he** didn't like the idea, but it had more to do with the fact that Jax told Luann she should contact Rachel if she thought a professional would help. He didn't want her involved with club shit, even if it was on a professional level.

"I think Clay is going to kick and scream and cause a fight. Then I think the vote will pass. The guys aren't going to pass up a chance to hang out at a pussy factory, regardless of what Clay thinks. Jax will have to watch himself. Clay is going to be waiting to pounce as soon as something goes wrong." Quinn drained his beer and motioned for the waitress to bring him another.

Leaning back, Quinn fixed him with a look. "I'm giving you an order now. If Redwood wants you to do something that's stupid, fuckin call me and I'll tell you what you should do. Your skills are too important to this club to throw them away on a dick swinging contest. Having you in prison serves no one if it's because of something stupid. Clay can overrule me, but he'll have to fucking work for it, I guarantee it."

Nodding Happy leaned forward and hunched his shoulders. "Fuck, I'm going to look like a pussy if this ever gets out. If this was my patched charter it wouldn't even be a problem. I'd vote for what I thought and go along with the majority decision regardless."

"I know. On the other hand, do you really think anyone is ever going to call you a pussy to your face?" All of a sudden Quinn grinned, "Unless their name is Rachel. She seems like a brave soul."

"Fuck me. Leave it alone." Happy growled. _I __**knew**__ this was going to come up. He's in town for two fucking days and still manages to find this shit out. _

"I heard about the alley. Juice was very detailed on what happened. Sounds like a strong woman. Pretty little thing too. "

"Yeah, she is. I also know that she works a 9-5 job where she makes a lot of money and wears a suit for a living. I doubt we'll be seeing much of each other."

Quinn nodded absently as he stared at Happy's face. "Yeah, I'm sure that's true." _Happy, you like this one. If you just wanted to fuck her, you would have. This is going to be fun._ "Still, you never know."

* * *

**Next up - Prejudice, drunken fun, and a pair of ruined panties**

A/N: This is the end of the split POV chapters.


	5. Chapter 5

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 5**

Rachel had a feeling today was going to be different. It was like she could feel it in the air. It was a beautiful Monday and the only thing she had scheduled this week was the onsite audit for CaraCara. She was looking forward to working with Luann Delaney, the woman seemed to know her own mind and then some.

She left a set of instructions and the address for her assistant and told her she'd expect to see her at 10am. It wouldn't be Kim's first audit, but she had only been working with Rachel for a few months. Rachel wasn't especially fond of her, but she did her job and was quick, accurate, and dependable. She didn't really have a sense of humor though, which made her less than fun to work with.

Driving up, she noticed that even though it was fairly early, there were quite a few cars and a couple of motorcycles here already. Smashing down her libido, which was trying to determine if Happy owned one of those bikes, she grabbed her audit case, tossed her purse on top of it, and lugged it up into her arms.

"Oh let me get that for you," a slightly familiar voice said.

As the case was lifted, she was able to see a bit better and recognized Juice, standing there with another man who had scars on his face. "Thank you Juice, that was sweet of you."

"Oh boyo, if the lass who was saying that weren't so pretty, I'd make fun of you. Sweet!" The other man laughed. _Stop glancing around to see if he's here Rachel. Do your job._

"It's nice to meet you …"

"Oh! Rachel this is Chibs, Chibs, this is Rachel Taylor. I think Luann is in her office, she said you were coming," Juice explained while walking farther into the building.

After exchanging pleasantries with Chibs, who seemed very charming, she took a quick look around. The building looked to be a large warehouse with mostly sliding walls set up to create individual areas for filming. She idly wondered how they kept sound from traveling. Cocking her head slightly at one of the scenes where a man was getting spanked by a pretty little blonde she wondered if that was really erotic to some men … or women for that matter. Catching the blonde's eye momentarily, she grinned at her and got a smile in return.

* * *

Luann Delaney was not having a great week, and it was only Monday. Getting her business in bed with the Sons bothered her, but she was out of options. The problems with Georgie were still happening and having Jax deal with him didn't seem to be helping at all. She was worried about Otto, who told her in his last letter that he'd been having headaches behind his damaged eye. Gemma wasn't acting like herself and wouldn't tell her why. And now she had some snooty business consultant coming in to look through her books.

On the phone the woman seemed nice enough, but Luann was leery of this idea that Jax had. He seemed to think that if Luann was able to branch out from straight video porn that she wouldn't be in a position like she was now with Georgie. That was easy for Jax to say, but she still had to deal with the new business and listen to some stranger, who will probably look down on her, tell her what would make the most money. Honestly, she was perfectly happy before this all started.

Having the Sons around as security was distracting her girls a little, but at least if Georgie or his goons showed up they wouldn't be hurt. Between that and the warehouse, the deal with Jax and the club seemed to be worth it. Now if she could get some cash flowing, maybe she would have time to worry about the rest of her list.

Hearing heels click on the floor, she looked up to see Juice carrying a file box made out of plastic with a tiny redhead walking beside him. The girl looked at Luann and gave her a warm smile. _Hmm, maybe she won't be a stuck up prude with a stick in her ass. I still don't think I need some consultant to tell me how to run my shit though._

* * *

Rachel spent the next hour familiarizing herself with the system Luann used. While not complicated, she was missing a lot of details and most of it was on paper. Actual paper. Not in a computer. Keeping her smile firmly in place, she realized she'd be working this weekend in order to get everything finished before next week.

Making a few notes and glancing at her watch, she saw that Kim should have been here 15 minutes ago. It wasn't like her to be late.

"Excuse me Miss Taylor," she heard from the door. Turning she saw Chibs standing there grinning. Raising her eyebrows she waited. "There is a bonny little thing that says her name is Kim, waiting at the door for you. She seems to be afraid to come in."

Rachel rolled her eyes and stood up. "Please call me Rachel, Chibs. Unless you want me to call you Mr. Chibs?" Heading back towards the door, she wondered how bad Kim was reacting to this. She didn't know her well and Rachel's main defense against confrontation was humor or sarcasm. Things Kim was very bad at.

Coming around the corner near the door, she could see that there was definitely a problem. Not only was Kim standing there stiff as a board and acting like she was going to get a disease just by breathing in here, but Jax and Happy were also standing there. Her breath caught a bit as she looked at Happy. _I need a new magic eight ball, the answers I keep coming up with are ones I don't like. It's like holding chocolate out of reach._

Shooting a quick smile at the men, she narrowed her eyes at Kim. "Is there a problem Kim?"

"I am sorry Rachel, but I'm not going to be able to complete this audit."

Lowering her voice and stepping closer to Kim, Rachel asked, "Why exactly is that Ms. Meritt? Please be aware before you answer that your employment contract does not give you the right to pick and choose our clients. Nor does it contain any clauses that would allow you to leave here for moral reasons." Being so short it was hard to be intimidating when you were talking to someone several inches taller, but Rachel did her best.

"Could we discuss this outside?" Kim pleaded. _How old is she? They're not even doing anything that bad in here right now. It's mostly just women with hardly any clothes on, how can that be something she's willing to risk her job for? It's not like she doesn't have the same equipment, how horrifying could it be to see another woman's tits?_

"Fine. Gentlemen, if you will excuse us. I'll be right back." Taking a firm grip on Kim's elbow, she steered her towards her car. "Explain yourself, right now. You are embarrassing this firm and me personally."

"I'm not comfortable with this client." _Seriously? I got that loud and clear as soon as I saw you._

"And I don't particularly care if you are comfortable or not. Our job is to verify and help them with the records, not to pass judgement on how they earn a living. What exactly are you afraid of finding in the paperwork? A porn star leaping out of the general ledger and inviting you to a threesome?" Trying to reign in the sarcasm and disbelief, Rachel took a deep breath. "You have two choices. You do your job, or you're fired and can look for one that has values you can live with."

"But …"

"No, I'm sorry, there are no but's in this situation. I have given you two choices. Unless you can come up with a reasonable alternative and present it for consideration, I expect you to choose. Now." A cold edge was starting to thread its way through Rachel's voice. _God, I hate people who are judgmental ... they're always bullies in some way or another. And now I look like an idiot bringing someone like this here. Regardless if she stays or goes, I'm going to have to come up with something to salvage this situation._

"Mr. Denning …"

"Seriously?" She couldn't believe a grown woman just threatened to tattle on her.

"That's like trying to tell the teacher on me. Mr. Denning will agree with me that you are being unprofessional. Mr. Denning will agree with me that you have a contract that you are violating without cause. Mr. Denning will agree with me that I bring a lot more prestige and accounts into the firm than my former assistant did." With that last, Rachel had announced her decision. _I don't need to spend any longer out here arguing with her, this looks bad enough as it is._

Opening her phone, she shot Kim a look. "You can leave now Ms. Meritt. I regret to say that I will not be able to offer a recommendation. I'm informing Mr. Denning of your decision right now and I'm sure he'll have your things waiting for you." As Kim simply stood there with her face growing redder, she raised her eyebrows. "Oh, if you could hand me the paperwork and your laptop that you brought today, I'd appreciate it. I'll need those."

Stepping back, she dialed the office and was put on hold waiting for her boss. Kim finally seemed to realize that this was really happening and turned to the backseat. Handing out the items Rachel had requested, she seemed about to speak just as Greg came on the line.

"Greg it's Rachel, we have a slight problem here at the CaraCara site … Oh no, it's nothing like that at all, in fact the problem is on our end. My **former** assistant refused to go inside because of what they do … Yes, I did remind her of the contract that was signed … That would have been preferable yes, but no it was made clear to the client before I could intervene what the problem was … Thank you, I'll let her know … Is there anyone … Thank you, you're a lifesaver."

Turning her phone off, she gave Kim her instructions on how to collect her things and watched with narrowed eyes and crossed arms as she left. Greg was letting her borrow his assistant for the week since this had the potential to be a large account, which was wonderful since she really liked Pam, but she still had to make sure she had the damn account. She'd only been here an hour or so before this and she got the feeling from Luann Delaney that she wouldn't put up with this kind of shit. _Nor should she, it isn't our place to fucking tell someone else if they're making a moral living._

She took a deep breath and fixed a smile firmly in place before turning around and striding forward, prepared to eat crow and negotiate for a lower rate in order to keep the account. _Happy Monday to me!_

* * *

Happy stared at Rachel's back as she walked her assistant outside. It was so stiff and straight anyone could see how pissed off she was, no matter what kind of smile was on her face. Her eyes had been dark and snapping too. She obviously didn't agree with her assistant. _Why does that even matter to you man? It doesn't change anything._

Jax looked at Luann who walked up beside them. "You guys doing something really twisted in there today?"

"Not even a little bit right now. Fucking stick up her ass obviously. What did the boss lady say to her?" Luann wondered.

"Oh she's bitching her out. There was some contract talk in there, but it got down to her saying the assistant doesn't have the right to pick and choose clients. Little bitch threatened to go to their boss and she shut her down. Looks like she got herself fired," Jax explained.

"Hmmm, looks like boss lady is coming back. Who wants to bet I can get a break on our rate for this shit?"

* * *

After a very long week that included dropping the standard rate for the audit, Rachel and Pam packed up and walked out with Luann. The week had included numerous interruptions by the actresses and directors who needed Luann's help. Rachel had enjoyed listening to some of the problems they came up with, such as the lube wasn't shining right or a fluffer poked someone with their new tongue ring to the actress who claimed the actor in the scene reminded her of her father and couldn't do it. Her favorite was the hysterical girl who ran in saying they couldn't pull a bottle out of some guy's ass. Every time she pictured the absolute horror on the girl's face she started giggling again.

By the time 6pm rolled around, the three of them had become a bit giddy in relief for the week being over. Rachel had decided she quite liked Luann. She had asked Tara about her during one of their weekly lunches, but Tara said she tried to stay away from the porn business. Rachel wasn't comfortable enough with her yet to ask why. The week may have started like shit, but it actually turned out ok.

As she waved goodbye and drove home, she gave herself permission to finally drool a little. Rachel had been very careful to be good all week long whenever she had seen Happy, regardless of how much she kind of wanted to see how many tattoos he really had. _I'm guessing a lot. It might take me awhile to catalogue all of them with my tongue … some things shouldn't be rushed._ While she had allowed herself sneak peeks occasionally, she was too professional to allow herself anything more than that. He really wasn't the sort of man to have a relationship with, at least at first glance, but god he slammed all of her buttons. _No harm in looking._

Letting Peanut bound all over her, she ran a hand across Annabel and Lily where they lay on the back of the couch. "Hello all of my pretties." Peanut flopped down on the floor, "Sorry Peanut, I know that was totally emasculating, but it was meant as a compliment."

Flopping onto the couch, she considered her evening options. It was a long week, but she really wanted to do something. She just didn't know **what**. She grabbed her cell to start scrolling through names and see if she could find someone to talk to when she realized she had a voicemail. It had to have come in after lunch since she had turned her phone back off then.

Listening, she started to smile … looks like she was going out with Tara tonight.

* * *

_Note to self, next time ask where and why first._ Turns out Tara had a really really bad day at work and needed to blow off some steam. She assisted on a surgery for a kid they had been doing consecutive surgeries on the last few months and he died on the table. On top of that, she was fighting with some administrator bitch who had a bone to pick with the Sons and Tara by extension.

Rachel drank occasionally, a glass of wine or a mixed drink or two here and there. She could count on one hand how many times she had been actually drunk though. There is nothing glamorous about drinking when you've had to help your father up off the floor when he passed out and fell off the toilet. Besides that, she didn't like confrontation, and dealing with drunken people, you usually had at least a few belligerent ones in the mix.

Luckily Tara seemed to stay on the right side of too much. She was at the "I love you" stage and was more than a little bit funny. Unfortunately she was on the wrong side of "I can still drive safely". After finding out where to take her, she made a quick decision and piled them into Tara's car. She could call a cab from the lot if no one else was able to run her back to her car.

Not even considering who might be there or what might be going on, she pulled slowly into Teller-Morrow Automotive. There were a lot more people here tonight than she expected. She had been hoping she could just drive in and Jax would appear and take Miss Funnybones off her hands. As it was she was going to be getting in well after 2am and she still had a full weekend of inputting the audit results for the Monday afternoon meeting at CaraCara.

Parking, she made a grab and missed when Tara opened the door and sprang out. "Damnit Tara, don't leave me here or you're buying lunch for the rest of the year!"

"Well c'mon then! Let's go find my man. He's the one who looks like Brad Pitt kinda, don't you think? Sometimes I want to lay him down and take pictures cause he's so model like. Or lick his abs. God you should have seen him when he was a teenager. Although he hasn't changed that much – he's like fine wine. Think that makes me Angelina?" Tara posed a few times while Rachel tried to keep her shit together.

"Ok Sunshine, let's find your model man." Rachel snickered as she let Tara lead her into a crowd of 15 or so people. A bit nervous now, she tightened her grip on Tara's hand and made sure she wasn't making eye contact. Not that she thought anyone was going to hurt her, but … _Of all the times I've seen Happy when I really didn't want to or expect it, why can't he suddenly appear now? Or any Son that I've met before for that matter._

Tara pushed open a door and went inside calling for Jax fairly loudly. By now Rachel had given up on trying to not blush, no matter how you sliced it, this was really not the way she liked to meet new people. But Tara was her friend and she wasn't going to just abandon her. _Plus I really need to get back to my car._

"Gemma! I love you Gemma! Most of the time. Sometimes you're not very nice to me. I don't really love you then, but right now I do. Cause you're nice right now. Hug me Gemma!" Rachel stared in awe as Tara proceeded to fall into and hug a tall woman who looked like she had never seen Tara before. Maybe she hadn't seen her drunk?

Finally Jax came through the crowd and took charge of the situation. _Tara is right, he is model hot. Lucky cow._ After peeling his girlfriend off of his mother, going by his apology to her, he lifted her head and peered in her eyes. "Tara, you in there?" Watching Tara nod adorably, Rachel decided this was a good time to ask for a ride.

"I'm really sorry Jax, I did try and slow her down a bit, but … she's so much quicker than I am! I hate to be a bother, but is there any way I can get a ride back to the bar? If not I can grab a cab." She really didn't want to wait that long, it would add at least another 30 minutes to her night and she really wanted to get to bed.

"I got this. You take care of that," Gemma pointed at Rachel and then Tara. "C'mon, Rachel right? I'll give you a lift. I'll meet you over by the door, I gotta let my old man know."

Parking herself against the wall by the door, Rachel let her eyes drift over the room. It smelled like stale smoke and booze, but it wasn't that bad. There seemed to be a lot of women in hardly any clothing as well. Still, she'd seen worse. This place had nothing on some of the places she'd been in. She spotted Chibs over by the bar and smiled at him. He furrowed his brow, turned to the side, and spoke to someone.

_Hello there hotness. Screw models, __**that**__ is what __**I**__ want._ Happy turned around and stared directly at Rachel, not looking at all pleased to see her. _Well hell, there goes that fantasy. I'm probably not his type at all anyway; I have more skin covered than uncovered. Not that I was trying to be his type. He's just yummy. That's it._

Not looking away, he shoved off from the bar and walked directly to her. She was impressed by how everyone seemed to just melt out of his way. That would be a useful skill to have. She usually had to squirm through crowds. As he came closer, her breath caught for the second time that day.

Grabbing onto some composure, she swallowed hard, licked her lips nervously and then smiled. "Hello Happy."

* * *

_What the hell is she doing here?_ That was the constant refrain in his head from the instant Chibs told him she was here. It was only a small gathering tonight, but how is she here? Why? Is she with someone? She better **not** be fucking here with someone._ Someone will die if she's with someone._

Walking over to her, he watched a flush rise slightly in her cheeks. He had intended to stop a few feet away and ask her what she was doing here. Then she licked her lips and smiled at him. Now she was looking up at him with those big eyes while he was about six inches from her. He could feel the heat coming off of her body and it felt like there were tiny sparks crackling in the space between them.

Dipping his head towards her ear and leaning the hand without a beer in it against the wall, caging her in with his body, he whispered roughly, "Why are you here Rachel?" As she swallowed, her pupils blew and he had to fight not to push her flat against the wall with his hips. This close she smelled like apricots. He couldn't remember the last time he had smelled apricots for gods sake and now he's smelling it in the clubhouse.

"I uh … I was out with Tara." _She really needs to stop fucking licking and biting her lips before I help her do it. I haven't even touched her and we're both breathing harder for fucks sake. I feel like I'm back in high school. I need to back the fuck up._ Then she reached out a hand and touched the wrist holding his beer gently, sliding her fingers slowly across his pulse.

Growling lowly, the hand against the wall fisted and started sliding down towards her hair. He shifted and their bodies were just shy of touching as she looked up at him. He could see the pulse in her throat beating like a hummingbird as she bit her bottom lip one last time. _Because I'm going to do that for you little girl._

He was going to ask her why she was there or why she was standing against the wall or maybe he was about ready to press her against that wall and lick her mouth and bite that lip until they both passed out from a lack of oxygen while wrapping those long legs around him and rocking his hips against her … but then he heard Gemma behind him. _No, no no no. Fuck._

"Hey Rachel, you ready?" He glared at Gemma from the corner of his eye, but knew that later he'd appreciate the interruption. _ Jesus Christ, the feel of her panting into my neck is making me harder. _Happy took a deep breath and slowly raised himself into a standing position, his dark eyes burning into Rachel's the entire time. She trailed her thumb across his wrist once more and then let go slowly, holding his stare.

Clearing her throat a couple times, Rachel finally glanced over at Gemma and flashed her a quick smile. "Sure, if you're ready to take me." She bit her lip and looked back up at Happy through her lashes. "It was nice to see you again Happy."

"Yeah Girl, it was real good to see you too."

* * *

_My panties are ruined. Fuck._

Walking out behind Gemma, she was conscious of the fact that her face was still flushed and she was still breathing a bit faster than normal. _He should be illegal._ _Oh shit, is she going to ask me about this? I don't even know how that happened, let alone be able to explain it._

Climbing into the SUV, she cut her eyes towards Gemma as she put it in reverse. "No little girl, I'm not going to ask what that was. Not tonight. I don't think either of you know what that was."

_Thank god … wait what? Well obviously it was me totally forgetting that I'm stronger than my hormones and I am firmly not going to get involved. I'm sure that Happy was just horny and I was new and different. What does she mean we don't know what that was? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?_

"Um, thanks. Sorry I'm not usually … well anyway, I appreciate the ride. It's very nice of you." Rachel decided the best thing to do here was to shut up. Besides her brain kept stuttering every time she tried to think of something other than how close he had been standing and how fucking good he had smelled. She made sure she was polite though, because she knew who Gemma Teller-Morrow was. Even high on Happy pheromones she wasn't dumb enough to piss off the Queen of Charming.

_How did I end up touching him? I swear to god it was like watching my hand do things on its own. Is it wrong that I'm both pissed at myself for not tugging him closer and pissed at myself for touching him at all? And seriously, how can a combination of leather, smoke, and something uniquely him smell that good? Is it wrong that the thought of sucking on his bottom lip makes me spasm?_

As they pulled up in front of the bar, Gemma turned to her and fixed her with a steely look. "Tara didn't say anything tonight that she shouldn't have, did she?"

Rachel gave Gemma a blank look that held more than a little confusion. "I'm not quite sure what you mean … if you're asking if she told me anything tonight that could be used against her, then no." _Gemma is scary. What kind of question is THAT?_

Leaning back, Gemma replied, "Good."

Unbuckling her seatbelt and pushing that weird exchange out of her mind, Rachel started to grab the door handle. "Thanks again for the ride. It was nice meeting you."

"You ever teach self defense classes anywhere other than the Shelter?" _Ok, that was random. This woman should come with a manual._

Looking back across the console, Rachel saw that Gemma was staring out the front window. _Hmm._ "I have on request. I usually talk about ways to increase your safety and then demonstrate some quick and easy ways to defend yourself while having the class practice."

"Huh."

Waiting, Rachel sensed that Gemma was done talking about this. She slid one hand into the interior side pocket of her purse and smoothly withdrew a card and laid it on the dash. "If you know someone who would like to hold a class, please pass along my card. Attendance and any discussions are all confidential."

"Yeah. I'll do that … if I hear of someone. Thanks."

* * *

The next morning Rachel drug herself out of bed and went directly to the coffee pot after letting Peanut outside. She had spent most of the remaining hours of darkness alternating between remembering what had happened with Happy and puzzling out what Gemma wasn't saying. She didn't come to any conclusions on either situation, but she relived those couple of minutes with Happy at least a dozen times.

Attempting to push it all out of her mind for now, she carried a huge mug of coffee into her study/office and plopped down at her desk. "Okay CaraCara, let's bring you into the 21st Century. This," she waved her arm grandly at the laptop, "this is a computer!"

Smiling to herself as Peanut flopped down on her feet; she started slowly entering the results of the audit into the new accounting software CaraCara would be using from now on. With any luck, and a lot of hours spent at her desk this weekend, she should be able to bring the completed data file with her on Monday when she and Luann were going to go over ideas for business expansion.

* * *

Happy had gone to his room after Rachel and Gemma had left. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now. What he wanted was to go after his tiny redhead and drag her into his bed and then fuck her through the mattress. _Fuck, she is __**not**__ mine. I don't know a damn thing about her really except she makes me want to lick and bite her from head to toe ... all the other shit is stuff I just think I know. She's only a woman – and a straight one at that. Get a handle on your shit, so she wants you too, doesn't change anything. It would only be a fuck and you know it will screw shit up if you do it. _

Firmly putting all this crap out of his head, he re-entered the party and picked out a brunette to keep him company the rest of the night. If later, as she was on her knees in front of him, behind his eyelids she suddenly had a short tousled mop of thick red hair and big dark blue eyes staring up at him with pretty pink lips wrapped around his dick, well that was his business.

Didn't mean anything.

* * *

**Next up - CaraCara has visitors and there is some wishing and hoping**


	6. Chapter 6

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 6**

After spending the weekend chained to her computer and then Monday morning dealing with some of the things she had put off last week, Rachel was ready to go home and it was only noon. At least this afternoon would be relaxing. She was on her way to lunch with Tara right now and since Luann had called right before she left to reschedule her meeting at CaraCara, she was looking at a very light day.

Spotting Tara, she waved and got her sandwich and soda from the deli before walking over and plopping down with a sigh.

"Tired?" Tara giggled.

"Mhmm, long weekend. Going to lay next to the pool and veg this afternoon." Rachel looked her over, "Well you look better than you did Friday night … Angelina. How was it Saturday morning?"

"Oh god I don't want to talk about it. Jax and I ended up staying at the clubhouse and drove home the next morning. I thought I was going to die before we made it home." Tara covered her eyes in remembered pain. "By the way, thanks for taking care of me … I do appreciate it. So does Jax. I don't do that often, I swear."

"It's not a problem, I enjoyed your rants, some of them were hilarious. I'm glad you're feeling more yourself though."

"Speaking of out of character things …" _Crap._ "I didn't see it myself, but I've heard from three different people that the steam coming off of you and Hap was impressive. Wanna share?"

Blushing furiously, Rachel kicked herself for not realizing that this was going to come up. _I should have had an answer ready._ "It was nothing. We'd both been drinking and there's a kind of mutual attraction thing going on." Tara didn't look convinced. "Seriously, we touched for maybe 45 seconds and that was a hand on a wrist. It was no big deal; people are apparently making more of it than it was."

Tara looked like she wanted to say something else but then seemed to think better of it. As she moved the conversation into safer areas, Rachel sent her an appreciative look. She was starting to consider Tara a real friend, but she wasn't ready to delve into the morass that would ensue during a Happy conversation. Because it wouldn't just be about Happy, it'd be about her too.

* * *

Arriving at CaraCara at 1:30 on Friday, she noticed that the parking lot was almost full. In addition to the cars, there were also two motorcycles parked near the door. She sent up a quick prayer to whatever deity was listening that Happy was working elsewhere today.

The warehouse was oddly empty as she clicked her way through towards Luann's office. About halfway there, a tall thin blonde with an oddly stuck up air, considering she was wearing what looked like painted on hot pants and a handkerchief as a top, stopped her. The condescending look she turned on Rachel made her hackles rise.

"If you're lost honey, you're going the wrong way." _Do I look lost bitch? What is it about some women that makes you instantaneously hate them for what seems like no good reason?_

"I'm fine, thanks for your concern." _She works for your client, be polite._ "I have a meeting with Luann. She in her office?" _There, that's as nice as I'm getting._

"She's in the back watching a shoot." The woman snorted. "You're probably not going to want to go back there; pretty sure it's not your thing. Hate for you to pass out because of some skin." _Seriously, do I look that prudish? I didn't think this suit was __**that**__ bad._

"I appreciate your concern …" Rachel paused for the woman to fill in her name, but she just stared at her. Finally she stepped around her and began walking towards the back. _Bitch._

* * *

"So bottom line, these are the options I think you should consider. I think you could really see an increase in revenue, with only a small outlay in start up costs following these suggestions. The web porn on demand would really be a nice cash cow if done correctly and the initial profits from it would pay to start up something else. I know a few people in the computer sector who would help you if you wanted some referrals to see what it would take."

Before Luann could respond, yelling could be heard from the warehouse. Darting to the door, she listened and then looked at Rachel. "I'm really sorry about this. I hope you didn't have somewhere else to be this afternoon."

Confused, but following Luann out, Rachel wondered what could be happening that would cause her to be here the rest of the afternoon. Unable to think of anything, they came around a corner to see a man in a windbreaker pointing a gun at them. Paling, Rachel froze. _There is a gun pointed at me. What the hell is going on? Why is there a gun pointed at me?_

Swallowing heavily, she whispered to Luann, "What's happening?"

It looked like Luann was about to answer when the man told them to walk ahead of him and be quiet. Wide eyed as they entered, she could see what looked like most, if not all, of the employees standing around in various stages of dress. Chibs and another Son were on their knees with their hands behind their heads looking both pissed off and bored.

Seeing the DEA logo on the back of the windbreaker, she edged closer to Luann so she could find out what was happening. _My daddy always said my inability to not know everything was going to get me in trouble one day. Let's hope it's not today._

"Luann Delaney, this is a search warrant for these premises. We have a tip that there are drugs being stored on site." _Well ok then, that's clear enough._ "You will all need to stay in this room until our search is complete."

"This is bullshit and you know it. If there are any drugs on this property there damn well isn't enough to interest the DEA. **Maybe** Charming PD would be interested, but they'd have to be really fucking bored." Luann spat at the guy. "Do I look that dumb to you? It's interesting that this happens just after I get help from the Sons. Fucking government." _Ok, that makes it less clear, but it also has a ring of truth._

Two hours later, they were all still waiting around for the agents to finish what they were doing. It was loud, whatever it was. For the last hour, there'd been an agent in the room with them who seemed to have a different agenda than the others. He kept striking up random conversations with people and poking at them, either trying to piss them off or sympathizing with them. She idly thought it had a much better chance of working if he didn't do it in a large room of people. If nothing else, peer pressure will keep people's mouth shut.

By now Chibs and the other guy, who Rachel thought she had heard someone call Bobby, were allowed to sit cross legged on the floor. The Bobby guy looked especially funny in that position, since his belly kind of hung over and nestled in the space created by his legs. Then their heads snapped up like they were listening to something. _I don't hear anything …_

Watching their faces, she finally heard the rumble of a motorcycle coming closer. _Well of course they wouldn't be happy, but why do they look worried?_ Her question was answered 15 minutes later when a furious Jax and a very quiet, very mean looking Happy were shoved into the room on the opposite side of Chibs and Bobby. _Well now this is turning out to be a joyous day, isn't it._

Half an hour later, she was more than bored. They weren't allowed to really talk or use phones or do anything and Rachel did not handle idleness well. She had already amused herself by counting most everything she could see, trying to guess which porn stars were in a scene together when they got interrupted – something harder than it seemed at first glance – and studying the DEA dorks who were circulating or watching them. _Why didn't they ever frisk us for weapons and drugs?_ She refused to look over at Happy.

Oddly enough, the weird chatty agent finally got around to her. You'd think he would have started with her or at least near the top since she was so obviously not working here. Maybe he figured she didn't know anything – and really, he'd be right, but she was **bored**. She may as well fuck with him. A bored Rachel is a dangerous Rachel.

"Can I help you? You're standing awfully close to me." Rachel took a step back and tried not to gag as she realized the guy had eaten pastrami or something similar for lunch.

"Who are you and why are you here?"

Smiling wickedly and wishing she had gum to snap, she responded in as southern of an accent as she could manage from her time in Atlanta, "Oh sugar, my name is Peaches DuBois and we're making this here new movie where I get to play this really hoity toity business lady. Whatcha think, do I fit the part?" Rachel turned in a circle while fluttering her eyelashes at him. She thought she heard a faint snort from the area where Happy and Jax were.

"I'm really hoping this is done soon, you see. I have an appointment for a full wax tonight. I like it to be cueball smooth for my close-ups. I didn't need it today since I'm just taking it up the ass. Those appointments are important when you have a job like ours!" She simpered as she laid a hand on his chest. _Wow this guy is blushing. I don't even know what to say about that._

Now she knew she heard a snort. Luann was goggling at her. _This is so much more fun than counting things._ Then from the back of the room, she heard someone speaking up. "She's not with us." _You whore. _Spinning around, she saw the blonde from earlier and narrowed her eyes. Bitch.

Fun ruined, she answered Dickhead's questions in a monotone and with the minimum amount of words she could get away with. As he was finishing up with her, the searchers returned and conferred with each other and then a new agent walked in the room. The blood drained out of her face. _How could she be this unlucky?_

"Luann Delaney, you are under arrest for misdemeanor possession … " Rachel tuned out and stared at the new agent. Suddenly he spoke up, "You will all be held for questioning and booked if necessary. Please have a seat and we'll get to you as we can."

Shaking, she put her head down and tried to breathe. Not paying attention to anything but that, she was surprised to suddenly be the only person in the room other than the agents still standing. As the girl next to her tugged on her pant leg, she slowly raised her head and looked straight at the blonde who was staring at her in disbelief.

"No." Rachel's voice was quiet but the room was quieter.

"Rachel! I …"

"No, you don't get to say my name. And this, whatever this witch hunt here is? That's not happening either. A **misdemeanor** possession? So you can seize all of the assets I suppose. Running out of money?" She curled her hands up into fists to stop them from shaking. She just wished her voice would stop too. _I can't even decide if I'm more mad or scared._

"You can't tell me how to do my job. There was an anonymous tip and there are drugs on the premises, that gives us the right to seize under federal law." The man looked and sounded angry now and his face was starting to get red. "What are you even doing here?"

"**My** job." She paused before deciding that this was one of those times she was going to take a stand. _Shit, I hope this cliff isn't as steep as I think it is._ Rachel took a deep breath and then spoke just a little louder to make sure everyone could hear, "And I have a restraining order against you still. The judge isn't going to be happy that my attempted rapist, even if I had to call it assault and battery, is within 100 yards of me. I still have him on speed dial if you'd like to chat with him."

Looking nowhere but at Terrence Carrow, she held her head high and waited. "You can't … there's a gag order … you can't tell people about … wasn't any formal charges … " He spluttered.

"Shame, it looks like I'm in violation of the agreement as well then. Now I really need to call Judge Snelling to let him know so that I can pay my restitution for violating **your** rights by breaking the gag order. You asked for 5k if I ever spoke about that incident again if I remember correctly."

_God what the fuck am I doing? I just told over 15 people in a small ass town … and Happy is here. But this is wrong; he's abusing his position and taking advantage of my client. I have power here and I can use it to help people I like – and get a bit of revenge. Wonder how long he'll keep his job once his coworkers start to gossip about this? It's worth the money, just like it was worth it to sue him in civil court for damages when the prosecutor wouldn't charge him._

"I'd hate to have to take this public. It would look really awful for the agency, especially considering what's happening here today and the fact that you didn't really find anything. Would look very suspicious, don't you all agree? I think I can manage to locate another 5Kfor an interview with the LA Times." She flicked steely blue eyes at the agent who had seemed to be in charge before and then back to him.

A fine trembling had started in her core and was working its way outward to her limbs as she teetered between being terrified and furious. She went white and her fingers twitched towards her purse when he started to step towards her, but as he did a few bodies shifted in warning. Thankful, but not able to look around and see who it was, she kept her eyes trained on the biggest threat in the room. _I will not be sick, I will not be sick, I will not be sick._

Finally he dropped his eyes when the agent walked over to him and pulled him aside. Releasing a pent up breath, Rachel concentrated on pulling her shit together before she passed out.

Then, as suddenly as it all started, it stopped.

* * *

Happy was staring and he knew that. He also couldn't stop. What is she doing? Ballsy as hell. It's costing her too, he realized, as he saw her brace herself so she wouldn't shake. _Why? All this so we don't get taken in on some bullshit drug charges? The seizure would hurt us a lot, but why would she care other than losing a client? Revenge?_

He shoved the rage he felt when he thought about that asshole hurting Rachel down deep. No time to deal with that now. Happy knew that when she mentioned the public and papers that this was going to go away. Too many scandals and lawsuits in the last few years. He absently made a note to get the prick's name and noted that he was probably from the LA office.

When the fucker started to step towards her and her face went whiter than he'd ever seen, all the Sons moved enough so that they could get up fast if needed. He was proud of her when he saw that she didn't step back and look intimidated.

Tossing Jax a look after the agents had started to leave, he followed Rachel quietly. He just wanted to make sure she was ok, even if he didn't speak to her. That was some rough shit. He wondered if it was the control of the situation, the surprise, or that she was the victim and not the aggressor that made her reaction so different from how she was in the alley.

* * *

Peeking his head around the door, he saw Rachel standing with her back to him, a gun bare in her hand. Narrowing his eyes and slowly stepping out, he looked around to see if there was someone else out there as he drew his own gun. Seeing no one, it hit him that it was probably just a reaction. She's scared, wants a piece in her hand. He approved.

Putting his away, he noticed that she was starting to breathe too fast. _Fuck. Slowly, go slowly._ "Rachel," he called out softly. He spread his hands wide to show he was unarmed as she turned quickly around with that gun pointed directly at his chest. For a couple of seconds he wondered if she was even seeing his face.

Then she lowered her arm and said his name in a voice would have made his heart clench, if it wasn't already shriveled up. Stepping closer, he slowly used his hands on her jaw to tip her face up towards his. "You're ok Rachel, you're safe," he said roughly. It wasn't his way to be comforting and shit usually, but a stone statue couldn't have been unaffected in this situation. There wasn't anyone else here to see it anyway.

As she looked up into those deep brown eyes, she could feel the tears that had been pooling begin to fall. Catching her breath on a sob, she let her forehead fall against his collarbone. Later, she'd probably be mad at herself for being weak in front of someone, especially Happy, but right now she was going to take all the comfort he wanted to give her.

Feeling his hand slide down her right arm and to her gun, she allowed him take it out of her hand and tuck it into the back of his pants. Happy slid down the tree they were standing next to, leaned back against it, and then drew her down onto his lap across his thighs. "C'mere, just relax and take a minute." Letting him arrange her, she concentrated on breathing in his scent and not crying.

She felt so small in his arms. She looks like she's ten feet tall when she's facing someone down, but right now she felt more delicate than Happy thought he'd ever seen her. Every instinct in his body wanted to stand between her and the world. Tightening his arms and rubbing a hand slowly up and down her back, he rested his chin on the top of her head.

Happy's eyes warned Jax and Luann off when they poked their heads out the side door. Jax barely managed to keep the astonishment off of his face when he saw the club's tough as nails assassin with a tiny civilian woman gently wrapped up in his arms. Luann wasn't quite as good. _Oh yeah, I'm going to get questioned about this later. I was already dodging shit about last week and Quinn is definitely going to have something to say about this when he finds out. Fuckers gossip like women._

Fuck it, he didn't care. Whether she did it for them or not, she had protected the club's investment today. While the drug charges wouldn't have been a big deal, the seizure of all of CaraCara's assets could have been. The club would have lost the warehouse and they'd definitely be out the stream of money this place generates. Happy knew Luann didn't have a lot of cash at the moment and there would be no way for her to recover if all of her equipment was seized. If he could pay Rachel back a little by holding her while she cried, then he wasn't ashamed to do that. _Like any of them wouldn't do the same. Well ... maybe not Tig._

Noticing that she was much calmer, he slid one of his hands into her hair and ran his fingers through it while he waited patiently. After she scrubbed a hand across her face, she tilted her head up and the world shifted.

* * *

Oh god, he was so close. She just wasn't strong enough right now to resist an impulse this strong. He suddenly stilled and his almost black eyes locked on her lips as she licked them and leaned closer.

A soft testing kiss was placed on his full lips. Lips that immediately took possession of her mouth as one of his hands fisted in her hair and the other gripped her hip. Pulling back just enough to look him in the eye, she placed her hands on his cheeks and leaned back in.

Shuddering in delight when he licked at her lips, she eagerly opened to him. A burning ember was growing low in her belly and she shifted restlessly as he tilted her head and explored her mouth. Biting her lip gently and then soothing it with his tongue, he pulled back so that his lips hovered right above hers before he spoke. "Girl, you don't want to do this. Not with me," he warned gravely. Her darkened eyes searched his and she whispered, "I don't care right now about what I **should** be doing … do you?"

Answering her with action, he slammed his mouth back down on hers. Meeting his tongue and slowly sliding hers against it, she ran her hands from his cheeks around the back of his head. Keening when his lips slid down her jaw line and behind her ear, she wondered, in a tiny far off place in her brain, if it was possible to have an orgasm from kissing. As he dragged his teeth across the pulse in her neck, she couldn't stop it and rocked her hips once. "Happy! God!"

Growling, he moved back to her mouth and ran the hand not in her hair down her thigh, trailing heat the entire way. Pulling up a bit, she started to help so she could straddle him, but before she could do more than shift, the side door opened again.

Happy jerked, pulling his mouth off of Rachel's and his eyes up to the door and then nodded. Closing his eyes, he listened to Rachel pant against his chest as they both tried to calm down_. _Swallowing, he licked his lips to taste her again, and then slowly sat her up so he could look her in the face. "I won't apologize for that, but I think we both know that this is a bad idea," he said lowly. _Apricots. Fuck._

Her face fell and her eyes dimmed, but he could see she agreed as well, even before she spoke. "I know, and I did start it, so I am sorry for that," she sighed a little and looked back up at him. "Is it wrong that I wish things were different? I'd really like to get to know you, not just for the sex, although I'm fairly certain we'd set the bed on fire. I know we're too different, I do. But I can wish, right?"

Standing and then helping Rachel up, Happy wrapped his arms around her for the last time. "No Girl, I wish it was too. And I haven't made many wishes in my life." Kissing her on the forehead and handing her gun back to her, he left to go meet Jax.

* * *

Jax stared thoughtfully at the door he had just ducked back into. He kept trying to wrap his mind around what he had just seen ... both times he opened that door. If all he had witnessed was that kiss, and Jesus was Happy **not happy** about being interrupted if the look he gave Jax was anything to go by, he wouldn't have thought much about it.

Most of the guys who had seen what happened between Hap and Rachel last week were surprised, but he wasn't. This was a woman who had teased Happy twice – to his face, who could look at that face and somehow didn't see what everyone else saw. And shit, he had asked her if she was hurt in his only question that first night. The eye fucking outside on the street the day they rode by was fairly obvious too. So seeing Hap invade her space in a major way? Jax figured that was just a natural progression. He was actually more surprised that he had been so restrained.

What his mind kept circling back to was the first time he had opened the door. Seeing her cradled in the Killer's arms while he rubbed her back and let her cry? Fuckin surreal. She definitely deserved the comfort, she did the Sons and Luann a big solid today and it couldn't have been easy – but to see Hap go along with it? He was participating too, not just enduring a crying woman.

Jax stepped back as the door opened. "Sorry man, Clay called and we have Church to talk about what went down in here today. Bobby and Chibs are meeting us out front." He hesitated for a second and then, "She ok?"

"She will be."

The closed look on Happy's face as they walked to the front warned him off asking any more questions, not that he needed it. The warning in his voice had been plenty. Seeing Luann, Jax motioned her over and let her know that Rachel was outside still and that she'd probably be back in within a few minutes. Happy had continued walking and Jax shook his head when she raised her eyebrows and looked at Hap's back.

Riding back to T-M, Jax let his mind drift back to those few moments and wondered if Happy was more like the rest of them than he had thought. Jax had been around enough to know that people had different faces depending on the situation, but he really had never thought of the Killer as someone interested in a woman for more than a way to get off. _Although he is dedicated to his mother._

Pulling into the lot, he let everything go except the battlefield he was about to step on with Clay. He knew Clay was going to try and use this to pull them out of porn. Jax wasn't going to let that happen.

* * *

When Luann looked outside 15 minutes after the guys left, she wasn't really surprised to see Rachel gone. Going back into her office, she stared at the phone for a few minutes.

Calling and checking on the girl was one thing, but she was considering something a bit more invasive. Trying to think it through, she decided to see what Gemma thought. The worst she could do was turn them away. _I kind of want to know what the hell is going on with her and Happy too. Not sure if I should warn her off him or cheer her on._

Picking out Gemma's number on the keypad, Luann settled in to tell her about the shit that went down.

* * *

Sneaking away was pretty unprofessional, but Rachel figured Luann would understand. She would call and leave a message for her later; reschedule today's meeting for next week. Right now she was curled up in her bed with Peanut tucked up as close as he could get without smothering her.

She felt shell shocked. She'd been lying here for the last half hour trying to figure out if it was because she had announced to 15 complete strangers (and a few people she did know) that she'd almost been raped or if it was the time she'd spent with Happy afterwards.

Working it over in her mind, she came to the conclusion that it was because of Happy. The attempted rape was bad and it did churn some emotions to the surface that were painful, but she'd talked about that kind of thing enough in her volunteer work to be somewhat desensitized in general. She had spent years working through her own blame and pain when it came to being hurt and she knew that it wasn't her fault and that she had nothing to be ashamed of.

So really, the part that bothered her the most is that people knew something so private about her. _God Rachel, what does that say about you? Rolling with the punches is one thing, but shouldn't you be more concerned with a violation of your body than one of your privacy? Maybe, but apparently I'm not. It's why I agreed to have that case sealed when it was requested._

The tears and breakdown after were the result of the confrontation, she knew that. She wasn't normally one to cry, but get her angry or stressed enough and afterwards she'll cry buckets. She knew it had been coming as soon as she started trembling, which is why she took off so fast. Rachel hadn't even considered someone following her.

She cuddled Peanut closer as she remembered how safe and warm and protected she felt when she was sitting on his lap. It had been at least 25 years since she had felt that wonderful from a hug. Even with Anthony she never really allowed him to see her acting weak, even if she felt that way sometimes. Rachel had to be honest with herself, his actions today had changed something in the way she saw Happy. _I'm just not sure what that means yet. Or if it means anything._

The memory of the kisses they shared afterwards was enough to make her squeeze her thighs together and groan. The man could fucking kiss. He rode the line between dominating and sensual like a pro. Even now her body was thrumming quietly, like it was waiting for him to come back and finish the job.

For the second time today, she fought her emotions with logic. Happy was right, it would probably be a bad idea, Rachel knew that. Hell she told him she agreed. She doubted that they had anything in common, other than this chemistry. But for a few minutes before she fell asleep, all she could think of was that it wasn't fair she wasn't ever going to get to know him.

* * *

Later that evening, a lone Harley slowly rumbled down a quiet residential street on its way out of town.

* * *

**Next up - Happy runs but can't escape and Rachel has a girl's day**


	7. Chapter 7

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 7**

As Happy headed north on I-5 around midnight, he wondered what the fuck he was doing.

In Church, Clay had done his damndest to convince the table that CaraCara was too risky, stating that they had almost lost the investment today, so it would be better to pull out completely. That having another federal agency around them was too much. Jax had fired back with the fact that they didn't lose it and the odds of this happening again were slim, especially with Rachel's threat in their pocket. Clay had then foamed at the mouth about an outsider being in their business, even peripherally. Jax said that Luann made the decision to call her in and that Rachel didn't know anything about the MC's business. Finally the table had voted not to change anything, but it highlighted the growing divide and power struggle going on.

Happy had gone straight outside when they had finished, needing fresh air after that bitchfest. After calling and checking up on Ma, he had felt at loose ends. All the shit from the day was making him restless. It was a slow time at the clubhouse too – late enough in the day that people were still getting off of work or eating dinner, but too early for the Friday night party to start.

Just as he was about ready to tape up his hands and start pounding on the bag next to the ring, very firmly **not** thinking about what happened at CaraCara earlier, his cell rang.

"Hey Killer, got a job for you if you're free."

"Fuck yes I'm free. When and where?" Although it made him feel like a pussy, he didn't think Quinn's voice had ever sounded this good.

"Tacoma, when you can get here. Probably take a week. No rush if you need to tie anything up there first."

"Naw, I'm good. Let me tell Clay and I'll head out tonight." Snapping his phone shut, he decided this was for the best. He and Rachel could have some time, let this shit cool off before they ran into each other again. The 12 hour ride would help clear his head too.

Suddenly in motion, he walked inside to let Clay know he was heading out for awhile. Tossing a few things in a bag, he locked his door, waved to Bobby and Chibs and was gone.

He spent the next two hours trying to figure out why the fuck he drove by her house.

* * *

Rachel was happily ensconced in a lovely dream where she was riding on the back of a motorcycle with her arms wrapped tightly around the driver. Pressing her cheek against the leather on his back, she never saw the driver's face, but she recognized his smell.

"Yech! Damnit Peanut!" Rachel swiped a hand across her face, wiping off the dog spit. A tongue across her cheek is not the way she prefers to wake up. _Well not Peanut's tongue anyway._ "Fine you beast, I'm getting up."

Groaning and rubbing her eyes, she headed to the back door for her prancing friend, hit the on button for the coffee, and grabbed some Tylenol. She felt like shit from sleeping too long. Running through her morning routine and soaking her head in the shower until she felt normal, she was sitting at the kitchen table two hours later pondering her weekend.

Rachel was aware that if she didn't find something to do to distract herself today, she was going to spend a lot of time thinking about Happy. She'd also be spending a lot of time justifying getting involved with him. She was a **very** creative justifier when she wanted something that she couldn't or shouldn't have. The problem was that she couldn't think of anything to do that would keep her out of her own head._ I really need more hobbies. Maybe a team sport. Bowling is loud._

Before she could ponder the merits of bowling much more deeply, Peanut went racing through the house, which was a semi regular occurrence for him. He really liked to chase squirrels out back and then race to the front and see if they were there so he could wag his tail at them. _Maybe Peanut needs more friends too …_ Hearing his nails skid on the hardwood floor as he turned a corner too fast, she yelled after him to slow down or she'd figure out a way to make him sand them next time.

Hearing him bark about the same time as the doorbell went off; she pushed herself up and went to the door, hoping it wasn't anyone important since she was definitely not dressed for company. Seeing a group of women through the glass on her door, she grumbled a bit under her breath. _I would be wearing ratty yoga pants and a tank top._

When she saw Tara, Luann, and Gemma on the other side of the door, she just stared at them for a second, not understanding. "Ladies."

"I hope you don't mind, but we thought we'd come hang out with you today. We hear you have a pool and we have alcohol in the SUV. Girls day." Gemma fixed her with a look that basically said, 'this is happening, deal with it'. Tara flashed her a sympathetic smile. Rachel imagined she had some experience with being run over by Gemma.

"Um, sure … Peanut go lay down, it's fine. Come on in." Leading them into the living room, she realized that other than an installation or repairman, no one else had been in the house since she bought it. _Pathetic! Granted, most of the people who would come over are spread around the world, but still. I hadn't realized it'd been so long. There is private and then there is reclusive Rachel._

As they all made themselves comfortable, Tara spoke up. "Rachel, I know how you feel about honesty, so just so that things aren't weird at all, Gemma and I know about what happened yesterday at CaraCara. We weren't gossiping, but Luann thought you could use some friends today and we agreed."

She wondered briefly just how much Luann had told them. She had known yesterday when she told the entire room, that this would happen – well not **this**, but that people would know. Charming is just too small. _Did she tell them Happy and I were out back together? I know I heard that door open more than once, but no one came out. Someone saw._

"I appreciate that, it was nice of you guys to come over. I'm fine with a day by the pool if you all want to stay, but I really am ok about yesterday." _At least the part inside the building._ "I made a choice to use the information publicly knowing what would happen." She smiled at them and enjoyed the feeling of warmth in her chest. It was nice to know they were worried about her. As different as the three women were, they all had a streak of something indefinable that Rachel identified with.

* * *

Hours later, Rachel was beat. She'd given them a tour, where they had all teased her on why her house was so big. She had tried to explain about Peanut and his need for space, but admitted in the end that she just liked it too much to care that there were way too many bedrooms for just her. She'd shrugged and said that if they got too drunk at least they wouldn't have to sleep on her couch, she had plenty of extra beds.

After lunch, they'd started adding alcohol to the lemonade she had made. It was only 4pm and she was pretty sure she was tipsy, but the thought kept slipping away before she could grab onto it. Between the sun, the swimming, and the alcohol she didn't really think it mattered – she was going to be dehydrated and pass out from a combination of them anyway.

Leaning back in the chaise, she realized that she'd had a really good day. She had been worried she would spend all day thinking about Happy, but even hanging out with women involved in his world, she hadn't. They had briefly touched on the case she had filed against the creep 3 years ago when she had lived in LA for awhile, but other than commiserating with her that stalkers should all be shot, it had been a surprisingly low key day.

Luann at one point spent 15 minutes straight thanking her for what she did, with Gemma and Tara chiming in a little, before she managed to get her to stop; Rachel didn't handle thank you's very well. Then Luann had offered her a role on screen if she ever needed another job. Rachel was pretty sure that was supposed to be a compliment, although Tara had almost snorted her drink out her nose when she very solemnly thanked Luann for the offer before turning it down.

When Luann started bitching about Georgie Caruso and the mess he was making of her business, Rachel had to remember where she had heard that before. Realizing it was the competition that had been messing with the girls; she said she could try something … if it didn't work, no big deal. Instead of giving them details, Rachel grinned tipsily and then called and left a message with her friend Sam who worked for the IRS saying that she had suspicions that Mr. Caruso was hiding income. Sam was smart enough to know what she wanted. If not, he'd call back. Maybe if Georgie was busy with other things he'd have less time for Luann.

She had learned quite a lot about their lives, although she could tell they were clearly avoiding telling her everything, especially when the conversation went towards the men and the club. That was ok, she didn't tell people everything either. As she started drifting a bit and wondering if she had things to make for dinner and if they'd be staying or what, there was a rumble on the street that made her insides twitch.

Gemma narrowed her eyes a bit, "That sounds like Jax and Bobby." _That's kind of impressive. Not something I could ever do. A rumble is a rumble is a rumble to me._ Sitting up, she grabbed her shirt and slid it on while looking at Tara for an idea of what was happening. Tara didn't look surprised, so maybe this was planned?

"Do you have a side gate to go out front? I don't want to track water all through your house." Tara said as she raised her voice over the now barking dog. After yelling at Peanut to cut it out, Rachel walked her over to the gate and peeked out after her. _Huh, it __**was**__ Jax and Bobby. Gemma is good._ She firmly squelched the tiny flame of disappointment that it wasn't Happy.

Grabbing a bottle of water from the kitchen, she walked back outside to see Jax and Bobby sitting at the table. _Oh god, that just doesn't look right … two biker dudes hanging out poolside with pretty flowers all around and under a yellow umbrella. If Jax was dressed appropriately he __**might**__ be able to get away with this look. Might._ Hoping her mirth didn't show on her face, she stepped outside and smiled at them.

* * *

Pulling into the Tacoma clubhouse lot, Happy automatically drove to his normal spot. The drive up here had been good, but he had spent entirely too much time thinking of Ra … the girl. Fuck it, he was going to have fun and put it and her, out of his mind. He wasn't a teenager to be fucking pining over some girl that he wasn't ever going to have. He was almost 40 for gods sake.

Rolling his shoulders and grabbing his gear, he headed into the building nodding to people as he went. It was damn good to be back here, like coming home. He smirked at the bitch who was suddenly draped on his arm, "Not now Lanie, I need to take care of some shit. I'll find you later." Letting his eyes linger on her ass as he pushed her away, he suddenly wondered how much shit he had to take care of. She wasn't a bad fuck if he remembered right.

Tossing his bag into an upstairs guest room and grabbing the key from the hook just inside the door, he locked it and walked back down into the main room while dialing Quinn. "Hey man, I'm here."

"I'm out, I'll be back tonight. Relax, enjoy yourself. Think a few people are coming in tonight to say hi while you're in town. We can talk about the job tomorrow," Quinn replied.

"K, later." Tucking the phone back into his pocket, he had Lanie get him a beer and settled in to catch up with his brothers. _It's a good life and I'm a __**very**__ lucky man. Good job, good brothers, and all the bitches I want. Fuck yes._

* * *

"The Sons owe you a debt. Thank you for what you did yesterday." Jax looked at Rachel seriously. He had planned to do this a different way, but when Hap took off yesterday, he decided to handle it himself. "This is my number. If you need anything, call."

Rachel looked bewildered as she thanked him and took the paper. "I didn't do it for the Sons, I did it for my client – who happens to be in a silent partnership with the Sons. I don't need anything in return, it was just my job." He wondered if she really didn't understand that she had gone above and beyond yesterday. Doing her job would have been filing paperwork after everything happened to see if it was recoverable, not spilling out her own secrets to fucking threaten the DEA.

Bobby shifted beside him and he realized he had let the pause go on a little too long. "It doesn't matter why you did it; you put yourself out there for us. Keep the number; use it if you need to." Jax shot a glance at Bobby. "Hey, go ask Tara to grab me a water, would you?" Raising his hand a bit when Rachel protested that she could get it, Bobby just smiled at her as he walked away.

"You don't really want a water do you?" She accused.

"Smart girl. I didn't think you'd want this part of the conversation overheard." Jax watched her body language tighten up. _Nope, she doesn't want to have this conversation period._ "I don't know what's going on with you and Happy," he started.

"Nothing," she said flatly. Her expression was hovering between pissed off that he was questioning her and sadness of some kind. _Fuck I didn't want to piss her off. Just give her a heads up._

"Look," he said gently, "I'm not getting in the middle. I could care less if you and Hap screw like bunny rabbits or hate each other with a fiery passion. All I wanted to do was warn you that he's a dangerous man. I know **something** is going on, but I haven't seen him like this before. I think you're a sweet girl, just be careful."

"Thank you for your concern, but really, there is nothing to worry about." Her formal tone was getting icy and he was betting the rising red in her cheeks wasn't from the sun. He could almost feel the warning signals and temper snapping off her. Jesus, if she and Happy both get going at once, the world will burn.

"S'aright. Again, don't want to nose into your business. It's your business." Bobby plunked a bottle of water down in front of him with perfect timing. Must have seen her getting pissed off. "Speaking of your business, Bobby and I were talking and wondered if you could give us a few ideas on how to expand what we do."

Biting her lip, Rachel stared at him. Pushing away the knot in her stomach from thinking about Happy, she hesitantly questioned, "T-M business or Sons business?" She kept her eyes steady on his when he narrowed his eyes at her.

"T-M business. The Sons are just a social club." Jax leaned back in his chair and wondered again if this was a good idea. Clay was going to shit a brick if she came up with any good ideas and he presented them at the table. But he needed this if he wanted to guide the club into a better way, like his dad had planned.

"Of course they are. Yes, I'm sure I can come up with a few things that would allow you to diversify without needing a lot of capital, overhead or manpower. Which I assume are things you are low on, correct?" Rachel neatly sidestepped the whole mess. She had known that they weren't just a club that liked to ride, but the way he had reacted to that question told her a lot more.

"Yeah, that would be good. How long do you think it would take you and how much?" As the conversation went down into details and she worked out a contingency fee based on implementation of any ideas she presented and helped to set up, a small part of her brain was working over what she had learned today and had heard in the past about the Sons.

* * *

Sitting on her front porch later that night, she enjoyed the peace of her street. When she was growing up, she would have given anything to have lived in a place like this. Her childhood home had been filled with anger, and pain, and no matter how much she cleaned, it felt dirty. Sitting here now, with Peanut at her side she thought it was just about perfect.

Rachel had enjoyed having the 'girls' over, as Gemma referred to them, but she was happy to have her house back to herself too. She could do social in short bursts, but when it came down to it, she would always be happier in a quiet setting. Being social meant following social rules and watching what she said so she didn't give too much away and being careful not to upset anyone casually – stupid stuff to worry about, but things she couldn't help. It was easier when she was with people she trusted completely. _Which are currently in short supply. About time to take some risks or become a hermit Rach. Although Tara is a friend, and Luann and Gemma are becoming something._

Sighing, she propped her feet up on the porch railing. She had been doing really well on that 'don't think about Happy' thing; right up until Jax brought him up. Refusing to think about what he said didn't last long since the 'girls' brought it up less than an hour later as well. And Luann **had** seen something.

Those women were like fucking pitbulls when they thought they smelled weakness. Jesus. They finally gave up when she crossed her arms, stopped responding, and simply stared at them with raised eyebrows. Gemma wasn't pleased with her at all, but Rachel thought it had more to do with her highly developed alpha bitch tendencies than anything. She just didn't think Gemma liked being told no period.

It wasn't that she didn't want to talk about Happy. Well ok, if she wasn't avoiding the topic in her own head, she wouldn't have minded talking about how Happy made her feel. But she felt unsettled when she thought about him. Like something was changing, but it hadn't coalesced into anything solid yet. She could feel herself starting to question some of her decisions, which scared her. _Step away from the cliff Rachel. You can't make any calls on this topic with your gut. Especially since your gut is currently being ruled by your vagina._

They had given her a bit more information, even if they didn't realize it. She had picked up that he was a loner and didn't speak much. That while he had been in the club a long time, none of them really knew him that well. That they had never seen him with a girl who didn't hang around with the club … which devolved into a short discussion of old ladies and hang arounds and croweaters and how the hierarchy works for the women. There was something about his mother and him moving around and coming here to be with her, but it wasn't clear at all. They seemed to be almost frightened of him, yet they respected him.

Gemma had given her more of that look she had given her in the SUV after the clubhouse incident. She still wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but figured it would become clear eventually. She certainly wasn't going to ask. Luann thought she should tap that and Tara … well Tara had just looked at her in this assessing way, like she was seeing something differently than before.

Knowing she wasn't going to get to sleep with her mind racing about this, and wanting to live in denial a bit longer about some things she thought she figured out, she went inside to change. Making sure her smallest and lightest gun was still secure in her fanny pack, she tucked in some ID, grabbed a bottle of water and attached it, then opened the door for her very happy dog.

_A good long run should wear me down enough to sleep. I'll think about it tomorrow when I have a clear head. Maybe. Unless I can find something else to do._

* * *

800 miles away, Happy was very very drunk. Being in Tacoma meant that he was around more people that he trusted … having Quinn, Cookie and these guys around gave him the opportunity to let go a bit more than normal. No need to watch his back here. Scowling, he yelled for another drink from the poker table. Was not his night for cards.

Biting down on a cigar, Quinn looked at his favorite brother. The man was different, something was obviously bothering him. Fucker was drinking like the bottle had personally offended him. Dealing another round of cards, he wondered if he should ask tomorrow or not. Happy wasn't the kind of guy you could just go poking at, friend or not. Quinn always felt like he was walking in a minefield with only three quarters of the trouble areas marked whenever he pushed into Happy's life without an invitation.

Deciding that he'd give it a few days, see if the Killer worked it out or came to him, he pulled in the pot he had just won. Smirking he wondered how pissed he'd be tomorrow when he realized he got his ass fleeced tonight. Fuck it, Quinn was his brother, not his mother.

* * *

Because Rachel was taking the Sons' account on a contingency basis, she decided she should work on it at home instead of using up client hours. Greg probably wouldn't mind, since if they got the account it would pay for it, but this felt more like a favor right now. No paperwork had been drawn up, she wasn't getting access to their books, and they had made the deal while she was in a bikini and button down shirt sitting next to her pool on a Saturday while tipsy.

Guzzling yet another bottle of water, trying to placate her body for yesterday's abuse, she sat at her kitchen table with a pen and paper making notes. There were multiple business avenues they could expand into, but trying to keep it in the parameters they needed – plus there's the fact that she doubts many of them aren't felons and bonding would be difficult – it's making it a bit harder than normal.

She had a knack for being able to look at a problem and find a solution or see how to tug at it to unravel it. One of her therapists had told her once that it was because of the way she was raised. Rachel didn't argue with her, because she could see that in a way, but it wasn't something she even thought about, she just saw the answer and went with it. Most people had a talent – this was hers. So actually having a challenge to work on was exciting. It reminded her of her Sniffer days.

Rachel spent hours at the table, doing loads of laundry occasionally, with the radio playing in the background while she bent her considerable intellect towards the problem of how to make the Sons more money … legally.

* * *

By Wednesday, Happy was ready to grow hair, just so he could pull it the fuck out. The job Quinn had given him was easy, at least in theory. It was the execution that was killing him. Since they were sending a message, he needed to be able to kill him in the right way so people got it – without leaving any evidence. He had that part figured out. But the motherfucker was never **alone**.

Spending two days in a cage doing surveillance and waiting for dickweed to stop being a pussy, was excruciating. When he had woken up on Sunday, sprawled out with Lanie's ass pressed against his dick, he hadn't thought much of the night before. Grabbing a condom, lifting her leg and sliding back into her pussy sounded like the best idea he'd had all morning. As he reached around and started playing with her tits and biting on her neck while slamming his dick deep, it occurred to him that she stayed in his bed. _How fucking drunk was I? She definitely knows better, there's no way she'd still be here unless … fuck fuck fuck … unless I told her to stay. Son of a fucking bitch. _

After getting off, he kicked her out and sat on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees. _Am I getting soft, losing my edge? Is it because I'm coming up on 40 and this shit with Ma? Making me want shit that I never have before? Does it have something to do with with Rachel or was it there before?_ Scrubbing his hands over his head and face he decided to worry about it later. _I'm going to be thinking for a long time if I keep putting shit off._

Quinn had looked at him a few times like he wanted to say something after Sunday, but luckily he had kept his mouth shut. Happy hadn't really been in the mood this week to put up with it. He was running low on cash and Lanie wouldn't leave him the fuck alone – like asking her to stay, if that's what he did – meant she was more to him than any other bitch here. So he was picking different broads, but it was just one more thing that pissed him off.

By Wednesday evening, Quinn decided enough was enough and dragged Happy to the bar around the corner from the clubhouse. He had watched Happy since he had arrived and he was meaner than a bear caught in a fucking trap and every day was worse than the one before. The last thing they needed was their assassin losing it in the clubhouse because he lost his temper. Happy very rarely lost his temper and it was always a bloodbath when it happened.

Which is how Quinn found himself in the unenviable position of attempting to get Happy to tell him what the fuck was wrong without dying for his trouble. Leaning back against the seat, he eyed the man while considering how to say what he needed to say.

"Just fucking ask." Happy said, startling the hell out of him.

"What … " he started.

"Don't. I've seen you watching me this week and I know you're gonna ask. So fuckin ask." Happy closed his eyes and waited. He had seen this coming, but had hoped that Quinn would leave it alone. He didn't want to talk about this, fuck he didn't want to think about it either. He knew he was riding an edge, there had been a few times this week when he had almost swung at a brother for no real reason.

"Ok then … what's up your ass?" He paused and then offered, "More trouble in Charming?"

Happy snorted, since yes that was kind of true. "No, not like you're thinking. Clay and Jax are still at each other's throats, but it hasn't gotten any worse." He didn't offer anything else. If he had to fucking talk about this than Quinn could fucking work for it.

Quinn was silent for a few moments and then a slow smile crept across his face. Happy glared at him and warned, "Whatever you're about to say, consider it carefully."

"It's the redhead, isn't it? The one I met on the street that day." _Using your beer bottle to cover your mouth doesn't hide your smile asshole._

"I don't know. Maybe." He drained his beer and picked up the one the waitress had just sat down.

"So what's the problem? She isn't any good in the sack?" Quinn leaned back and paled slightly at the look Happy shot him. "Ok, not talking about that. What is it? You have to give me more to go on than this or I can't help."

"Fuck, I don't know if you **can** help. She's not like the other women I know. I know I should stay away, but all that does is piss me off. It's like every time we run into each other I have to start completely over." He really didn't think he was explaining this well but he wasn't going to elaborate. How she got under his skin and that he didn't mind her being there. That he liked the way she smiled at him. How he was interested in what made her the way she was. That he had decided apricots were now his favorite fruit. How she could be both tough as steel and soft and delicate at the same time. That she never seemed to be afraid of him at all.

Quinn nodded at him a bit. "It's you isn't it. You think because of what you do that you should stay away. Do you think that's fair?"

Snorting, Happy looked incredulously at Quinn, "When the fuck did life become fair? What kind of question is that?"

"I meant is it fair to her, not in general asshole. You're making assumptions, saying that because you believe something to be true, she'll believe it. Maybe she won't want to go out with you because she's afraid of snakes and the one on your chest freaks her the fuck out. You won't know until you ask. I'm going to take a guess here that if you two have discussed this at all, which I highly fucking doubt, you told her it wasn't going to work." Quinn leaned back again, pinning Happy with a look that said, 'I fucking know you fucker, don't lie.'

"Fuck … kind of. We kind of talked about it. Enough to say we were too different." Happy glared down at his beer hoping it had miraculously turned into whiskey. He was not comfortable with this fucking conversation. At all.

"How are the two of you too different? What other than the surface crap? Seems to me she isn't afraid of violence if what I heard about the alley was true." Feeling that he'd pushed about as much as he could tonight, Quinn really wanted the answer to that, or to at least leave it as something for Happy to think about. He almost asked him if he would mind if she started dating someone else, but he had a feeling that might tip Hap over into somewhere no one wanted him.

Refusing to look at Quinn probably wasn't very mature, but Happy was done with this. Fine, he could admit to himself that he had made assumptions. It didn't mean they were wrong or that leaving her alone wasn't the right thing to do. She wasn't always like the alley, in fact she usually wasn't. Didn't mean she'd be ok with the kind of violence he lived with, the killing. And if he was going to get involved with a bitch, any bitch, he was going to be himself and not hide shit unless the club tells him he has to. Fuck that. _But isn't that what Quinn was pointing out? You have no idea what she thinks. Fuck Quinn, I know he's enjoying this, the asshole. I wonder if I shot him if he'd still find it so fucking amusing._

Looking down so that Happy couldn't see his eyes, because laughing at him right now was beyond fucking stupid and Quinn didn't become Nomad President by being stupid, he wondered if Happy was really this blind. For a man who had always seemed preternaturally sure of himself, seeing Happy so indecisive and almost insecure over a woman was a revelation. It was also amusing as fuck. He hoped he was around when Happy figured it out, because he had a feeling it was going to change Killer's world. _I wonder if I can find a reason to be in Charming for awhile_.

* * *

**Next up - The Shelter, Gemma nudges, and some thinking (finally) happens**


	8. Chapter 8

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 8**

Driving quickly home late Wednesday afternoon to pick up Peanut and go to the Shelter for the evening, Rachel's brain went back to the topic she couldn't quit picking at. On Monday, when she and Tara met for their now routine lunch at the deli, Tara never said a word directly about Happy. She talked about Jax a bit and how she struggled sometimes to balance her life with his. She mentioned that the club was like a family and when the chips were down, they'd always be there. She mentioned lots of little tiny things that added up to a big pile of what the fuck.

Since Tara hadn't been talking directly at the issue, it wasn't like Rachel could really say anything either. So now, on top of the other shit she's really trying hard not to think about, because that will mean making some decisions that feel important, she has everything Tara told her swirling around in there mucking up the works. She has spent more time running since she met Happy than she ever had before in her life. _And yes, that works symbolically as well._

Loading Peanut up in the back cargo area that had the seat folded down, she tossed her gym bag and pads in the passenger seat and headed to the Shelter. A large brick building set back on a lot that had a lot of lawn, the Charming Women's Shelter took in women and children for the entire county. When she did some of their accounting for them last year when the regular person was on vacation, she had discovered that most of Charming's elite donated a healthy amount to keeping this place running.

Peanut shivered a little bit in anticipation while he waited not so patiently for her to give him the release command so he could go play with the kids. She smirked at him, holding it for another count of five just to reinforce her dominance and sent him off. Shrieks of joy floated back to her as her dog pretended he never received any attention at home. _Faker._

Finishing her class, she wiped her sweaty face with a towel and furrowed her brow when she saw one of the women waiting by the door. "Are you waiting for me?" It was rare, but sometimes someone would want some one-on-one assistance.

"I … I knew Angela. From when I was here before. They said she moved but that you knew where she was." Her face was set in the classic battered woman's hesitancy. Rachel wanted to hug her and hand her a healthy dose of confidence.

"She did move," Rachel answered slowly, wondering if she should explain why. "I am sorry, I wish I could tell you where she was, but for her and Pammy's safety, I can't share that with anyone." She tried to say it as gently as possible, but there was really no other way to say it. Anyone could say they were her friend and Pete could find them. If he was going to find anyone, he could find her.

After saying goodbye to the woman, calling Peanut, and gathering all of her things, she was running really late. Peanut was being a pain, wanting to sniff all around the car, so she barked a command and had him scrambling up. _I love you pooch, but I really want to get home._ Rounding the side of the car, the hair on the back of her neck rose up at the same time Peanut went insane inside the car.

_Fuck._

* * *

Grumbling to herself as she held the icepack to her throbbing cheek, she tried to answer Officer Eglee's questions as well as she could. No she hadn't seen anyone, no nothing was taken, yes she was sure that it was just her face. She had only been out for maybe 5 minutes or so. Rachel was guessing that someone had been mad about the work she did at the Shelter, but was scared off by Peanut. Peanut had done a number on her car and had given himself a bloody nose trying to get through the glass.

Laying her gun in her lap now that she was away from the police, Rachel tried to concentrate. Pinching the bridge of her nose as another wave of pain swept through her head, she dug her phone out of her purse and dialed the vet while driving home to drop Peanut off. Once connected, she explained that Peanut had injured himself and she needed to have him looked at tomorrow if possible. They offered to open the clinic now, but she asked if they could just see him first thing in the morning.

Parking at St. Thomas, Rachel took a deep breath, put her gun away and almost literally forced herself into the Emergency Room. She hated hospitals with a passion that bordered a phobia. Nothing reminded her more of her biggest failing than the smell of a hospital. Gritting her teeth, she checked in and explained what had happened. Following the nurse to a room for a vitals check, she really wanted to lay down on that uncomfortable looking bed and go to sleep.

An hour later, sitting in the hard upright chair, where she couldn't fall asleep as easily, Rachel mused desperately on another reason to hate hospitals. You were there forever. She couldn't even read right now because her head hurt so bad. She'd taken the shirt she had on over her tank off and draped it over her eyes to at least make it less bright. _You can do this, just get the prescription and get the hell out._

Finally a noise outside the curtain indicated someone had paused before entering. Sitting up, she opened one eye as she removed the shirt. _What the hell?_ "Ok, I'm hallucinating, right? You work with kids, babies. In operating rooms. With wee little instruments to fix wee little hearts and stuff. Why are you here?"

Tara smiled tiredly, "Extra shifts mean extra money. When I transferred here from Chicago, I took a paycut. A really big one. I'm still paying off my med school loans, so … here I am. I only do this a few times a month." As Tara explained, she was tilting Rachel's head back and forth to get a look at her cheekbone.

Hissing in pain as Tara poked at it with her gloved finger, Rachel glared at her. "Kid doctors are supposed to be gentle. Be more gentle!"

A laughing Tara replied, "My kids are asleep on anesthetic and I start by using a scalpel on them. I **am** being gentle." _Bitch. Ow. Fuck._

Tiredly explaining, for what felt like the hundredth time that night what happened, Rachel managed to finally get the prescription for painkillers she was here for and instructions on how to take care of herself. Tara had wanted her to stay with someone since she had a low grade concussion, but Rachel promised to send her a text in a few hours when she took Peanut to the vet to prove she was still alive.

Staggering inside her door half an hour later, she left her gun in her hand until she had checked the entire house. Placing it on her nightstand, and setting her alarm she barely managed to get undressed before she passed out.

* * *

Rachel spent her entire day on Thursday either dealing with shit that came up because of the asshole that smacked her or trying to take a pain pill and sleep. Her heroic pooch was fine, although he would be sore for awhile and his sniffer was swollen. She considered doing something about her car, but tackling the ripped seats and cargo area carpet meant bending over and bending over meant her entire face started throbbing like a motherfucker.

She had texted Tara like she promised and then got a call a few hours later. Tara had asked permission to tell Gemma and Luann she was hurt. They called later and left her messages while she was sleeping to check on her. It was nice to have local people who cared. Rachel hadn't decided if she was going to tell some of her long distance friends about her latest misadventure. Mitchell and Sam would freak out and Poppy would be on the next flight to San Francisco to 'help' her. _Or I can keep this to myself. I love them, but the lectures and the smothering … yeah, mouth shut._

* * *

On Monday, Tara called her about an hour before their lunch date. "Hey, can you pick me up at T-M for lunch? My car is rattling and I want the guys to check it out. I have Abel with me too often to not get it looked at." _Holy shit, you suck at lying Tara._

"Wow, that was a very well thought out excuse. I'm impressed that you put that much effort into it for just me," Rachel said drily. "Yes, but not because of your blatant manipulation. I have the report I wrote up for Jax and Bobby finished and the afternoon off in case they have questions. Greg is babying me. It's awesome."

"I wasn't … I mean … ok fine, so I want you to come to the lot. But Gemma wants to see you too, and she's here. Actually here's an idea, why don't you come here and I'll order lunch to be carry out and send a prospect for it. Then the three of us can have lunch!"

Trying to figure out where the catch was in all of this, because Tara was entirely too chipper, she hesitated before answering. "Fine, but I get to hold the baby for awhile. My cats are mad at me and Peanut is too big to cuddle. Abel will be an acceptable substitute," Rachel teased.

"Deal, we'll see you in an hour or so and I'll let Jax know you're coming with that report. I think Bobby is around here too, but I haven't seen him yet today." Tara agreed.

* * *

Parking her beat up car next to Tara's on the far side of the parking lot, almost an hour later, Rachel slid her gun back in her purse. Since the attack, although that felt like an exaggeration since it was one hit, she hadn't been able to be far from her gun. If she could have it in her hand or out of her purse, it was. Rachel knew she would have to work on that since it was too easy to slip from being careful to paranoia … but not today.

Seeing Tara and Abel at the picnic table near the clubhouse, along with a paper sack of what she hoped was her lunch. Rachel walked over and scooped up the baby. "Baby cuddles first as payment, and then you can explain what you were carefully not saying on the phone while we eat," she said firmly.

"Let me grab Gemma while you extract your payment from the baby. God you're ruthless, you know? Child exploitation going on here," Tara winked as she walked up the blacktop to the office and stood inside the door.

Situating Abel more securely in her arm, Rachel started digging in the bag while keeping a running commentary to her favorite small person. "I'm not exploiting you, really I'm not. Well ok, maybe I am a bit. You don't mind though, right? Your daddy looks like he was a ladies man, so surely being held by strange women is good practice for the future."

Hearing a full out laugh from behind her, she spun around quickly while protectively keeping Abel behind most of her body. "Shit, don't scare me like that. I'm a little jumpy still," she scolded Jax. "You can't have him back yet. Your girlfriend bribed me with child cuddling in order to get me here to eat lunch with her and your mother. She's an extortionist."

Face no longer amused at all, Jax narrowed his blue eyes and focused on her cheek. "That looks like it hurts. Wanna tell me who did that?"

Seeing Tara come out of the office with Gemma, she looked back at Jax. "She didn't tell you? On Wednesday after my class at the Shelter, some asshole must have thought hitting me would have hurt whoever he knew inside. My face got smacked into my car. I actually visited Tara at St. Thomas where she made it feel a lot worse because she wouldn't stop poking at it. It looks tons better now. I just wish the cameras in the parking lot had caught who the fuck it was." Rachel made sure to raise her voice when she got to the part about Tara.

"Hey, not my fault you're a wuss. Suck it up Buttercup," Tara playfully said as she heard the end of Rachel's statement.

Gemma came over and touched her cheek lightly. "Oh honey, that does look painful. I'm glad you're ok."

Appreciating all the care around her, but really uncomfortable with this level of attention, Rachel bounced Abel a bit. "Ok, food, I'm starving. Down you go big boy." Giving him a smooch on the top of his head, she put him back in his seat and grabbed a plate. "Oh Jax, I have that report in the car. Let me know when you want it. I don't have to work this afternoon if you have questions. If today isn't good, then you can reach me every evening except Wednesday."

"You're going back to the Shelter?" Gemma questioned.

Looking up from her sandwich, Rachel looked confused. "Why wouldn't I? That could have happened anywhere. Even if they had a replacement for me, it's still a good lesson for the women to learn. Just because you have some training, doesn't mean that someone with surprise or skill or strength can't get the best of you. The first rule of self defense that I teach is to run. If you can't run, then get help. If you can't get help, protect what you can, do as much damage as you can. The only thing I truly preach in every situation is that survival is the only thing that matters. It doesn't matter what the fuck you have to do or are made to do. If at the end of the day you survive, you win."

Gemma considered her with an odd expression on her face before clearing her throat. "Huh. That's a good way to put it, I hadn't thought of it that way before."

Rachel smiled at her and changed the subject. She didn't want anyone asking her how she learned those lessons. Jax told her to leave the report with Tara and he'd get back to her later this week, then ambled up to the garage and disappeared under a hood.

After an enjoyable lunch, complete with gossip and laughter, Rachel ran over to her car to grab the report. "If you can give this to Jax, I'd appreciate it. I had fun today, it was a nice change."

"Gemma was feeling left out. Maybe we can meet here occasionally as something different." Looking around carefully, Tara whispered, "She's kind of a pain in my ass when she wants something and I don't fall in line. I try and pick my battles."

Assuring Tara that she'd be happy to help her in her war, she made her way back to her car just as a motorcycle came in the main gate. Having been lulled into a false state of security, she whipped her head around and reproachfully glared at Tara who was walking to the office. Transferring her glare to the office, she sent one to Gemma too. Knowing that if she hurried it would be obvious, she resigned herself to seeing Happy. _I'm not ready. I'm still avoiding all those uncomfortable questions._

Hearing the boots stop behind her, Rachel paused at her car door, put on her big girl panties, and turned around. "Hi."

* * *

Wondering how she knew he'd be coming back today, or if she was even aware he'd been gone, Happy had a faint smile when he came up behind her … he had almost forgotten how fucking tiny she was. The last week or so had fuckin dragged for more than one reason. He spent entirely too much damn time in that cage waiting on that dickhead thinking and wavering and in general acting like a fucking teenage girl in his head. When he finally made a decision, he was so damn happy to be able to stop thinking about it that he got Quinn drunk at the poker table and took his fucking money back. The next day he celebrated by plugging the asshole.

When she turned around and he got a look at her face, he went almost incandescent with rage. "What happened? Who fucking hit you," he demanded flatly, unable to look anywhere but at the fading bruise.

When she didn't respond, he raised his eyes to hers and harshly bit out, "Rachel, who fucking hit you?"

Making some split second decisions, Rachel went with her gut. "It was last week, some asshole hanging around the Shelter. It's been dealt with." Her voice was very firm and confident, because she could see this ending badly. She was not a damsel in fucking distress and he was not going to treat her like one.

"Dealt with," Happy scoffed, "dealt with how?"

Narrowing her eyes in anger, she stepped closer to him and raised her voice. "How exactly is that your business? If I say it's been dealt with, then it has. I'm fine, thank you for asking though," she snapped. Trying to ride the line between standing up for herself and waving a red flag in front of the bull, she waited to see what side she ended up on.

"Happy, I can take care of myself," she gently reassured him.

"Yeah I can see how well that fucking worked for you." _Ouch._

Swallowing heavily while trying to keep the hurt off her face, not that it felt like it was working, Rachel stared at him. "I think I should go now. I'd say it was nice to see you, but this time I'd be lying." Turning away, she reached for her door handle.

"Fuck. Wait."

She froze when she felt his hand cover hers on the door as he came up behind her. Facing towards the front gate she whispered, "Why? I already know what mistakes I made when this happened, I don't need anyone to rub it in." Bending her head down, she bit her lip and went on in a firmer tone, "I am not weak. I've taken care of myself a long time."

Sighing, he stepped closer so that his front was pressed against her back and leaned his head forward against hers. "Damnit. I'm sorry, really. I didn't mean to fucking snap at you like that." Happy tried to focus on what he was doing and not on the eyes he could feel crawling over his back. If he wanted to be able to talk to her later, he needed to fix this. "Rachel, I don't think you're weak or that you can't take care of yourself. I don't. I just …"

Putting his hands on her shoulders to turn her around so he could look at her, he felt like shit when he got a look at her face. "C'mon girl, I'm trying here. I don't apologize to **anyone**."

Raising her eyes to look at him, Rachel wondered what she was doing. All of the thinking she needed to do was apparently going to have to happen quickly or she was going to go on instinct and probably fuck this all up. Pushing it aside, she forced a smile and did the only thing she could think of. "Let's start over. Hi Happy."

Barking an amused laugh, Happy dropped his forehead to hers for a second and rubbed her collarbone with a thumb. "Okay, I can do that. Hi Rachel, it's good to see you. Looks like your cheek fuckin hurts. What happened?"

Beaming and letting him see the appreciation and approval in her eyes that he was playing along, she replied, "Some asshole smacked me into my car on Wednesday, but nothing was taken and no other damage was done. Peanut was in the car and went ape shit."

Glancing in the car, his eyebrows shot up. "Fuck me, yes he did." Looking back at her and brushing his other thumb across her cheekbone, he said, "No one knows who it was?"

"No, but I've had my gun out most of the time when I'm at home or in the car. I'm looking around more. I'm being careful. I promise." She smiled wickedly at him. "You know you could kiss it better. I bet that would help."

Murmuring, he said, "Well if that will help." Sliding his hand around her jaw, he gently grasped it and tilted her head so that he could lay soft kisses on her cheekbone where the bruise was the worst. Rachel would cut out her own tongue before she admitted that it still hurt to be touched. Feeling her breath catch, she wondered how he could set her on fire with such a small touch. It didn't seem fair somehow.

Leaning back, he met her gaze squarely. "I don't want to talk about it here but … I've been out of town for a week … had a lot of time to think." His dark gaze left no doubt what he was talking about.

Pushing past the panic that started up in her chest, she gave him an easy smile. "Thursday night, dinner at my place?"

"Give me your number, if something comes up, I'll call. Is eight too late?"

Sliding a business card out of her purse and jotting her cell phone and address on the back of it, she added Thurs/8:00 pm just in case he forgot. Grinning, she reached around and slid the card into his back pocket, lingering just a few seconds too long. "Eight is fine. Anything special you haven't had in awhile? I'm a pretty good cook."

Grabbing her door for her, he stepped away so she could move into the open space. "I'm not picky, anything is good." Holding onto the door frame, he leaned in and stole a quick kiss before backing away. "Well … I'm not picky about food."

She stared flabbergasted at his back for a few moments before she broke down laughing. _That was … well ok then._

* * *

As Tara came in the small office and joined her at the blinds, Gemma frowned out the window. "She knew didn't she? I'm surrounded by smart fucking bitches."

"She didn't know exactly, but I don't think it took her long when she saw Happy. Think we're doing the right thing? If we're right, he's going to go off about her cheek." Tara wanted to push Rachel a bit, but she didn't want to light a fuse on Happy or piss her friend off.

Jax walked in the office from the garage and glared at Gemma and Tara while gesturing outside. "What the fuck did you do? You plan that?"

Gemma rolled her eyes at her son. "Maybe. Needed to be done, their fucking dance is killing me."

"Ma, it aint about you. Shit." Jax stared out the window and realized that yes, what he thought he saw is what he saw. Rachel had stepped up into Happy's face and was furiously telling him off about something.

"Wow," Tara breathed quietly. "I'm still not sure if she's brave or stupid."

Smiling a little, Gemma watched as Happy dropped his head towards Rachel. "Oh, I used to think she was stupid with a side of brave. I'm leaning more towards brave with a side of stupid now."

Jax took another look out the window and groaned when he heard Happy laugh. He pointed at the two women and said, "Don't get any ideas that just because this isn't going to complete shit that it's ok. Don't fuckin interfere. **Especially** with Happy involved," he ordered while going back into the main garage.

"Yes son." Watching them interact, Gemma wondered if they had figured it out yet. She thought Happy might have an idea. She couldn't see Happy letting any woman yell at him if he hadn't. Rachel though … Rachel seemed like she'd be good at being blind when she wanted to be. _Maybe I should visit her soon. She's going to need an education before shit happens._

"You know you weren't this fucking helpful when Jax and I got together. Either time." Tara flashed Gemma a glare. _Yeah well, Rachel isn't trying to date **my** __**son**__._

Smirking when she saw a hand dart around and tuck something in Happy's back pocket, she said cheerfully, "Well I think our work here is done. I'm willing to bet that was her phone number."_ I'll go tomorrow._

* * *

Grabbing his gear off the back of his bike, Happy walked into the clubhouse, ignoring what he knew were at least Gemma's eyes on his back. Nosy bitch. He had a feeling he had her or Tara to thank for Rachel being here though; it was too coincidental that all three of them were accidentally here at the same time.

Unlocking his door and tossing his bag into the chair, he sat down on the bed and then let himself fall back. Staring up at the ceiling tiles, he wondered again if he was doing the right thing. If this went sideways … it would take a long time for the club to fucking forget about it. They probably wouldn't say much to his face, but there would be talk. _I hate people fuckin talking about me._

Digging the card out of his back pocket, he looked at it while he rubbed his thumb across it lightly. It was just fucking dinner. They'd have a talk, see what was what. Get to know each other. Make some decisions. He could worry about the rest of it later. He wasn't going to start fucking hiding her though, that was a pussy move. If you can't stand up in front of your brothers … your family … and be proud, then what the fuck are you doing? _Not that I plan on telling anyone either, it's still no one's business but mine._

* * *

Rachel stared at the soft beige wall in her living room blankly. Her internal voice was babbling, but it just seemed to be mostly stuttering in surprise and it wasn't helping, at all. She really wished she could think clearly, because she was pretty sure he had changed his mind about them being a bad idea. Shouldn't she have … _He's coming over. That's like a date, right? What made him change his mind? I … He … I … _

Growling in frustration and making Lily jump in surprise and look affronted as only a cat can, Rachel got up and put on her favorite pink bikini. _Maybe a swim will help, because sitting and trying to think is making it worse._ An hour later, she was exhausted and laying prone on the tile next to the pool. Pushing Peanut away when he snuffled her face, she slowly sat up and swung her feet into the pool to kick lightly at the water.

_What do I want._ Rachel thought that was an excellent question to start with._ I want to be in a relationship again. I want to share my life with someone. I want to listen to someone else's day and have them be interested in mine. I want to do things we enjoy together, but still have space apart. I want someone who has their own life. I want someone who I don't have to hide from. I want someone who thinks my past has made me strong, not weak. I want someone with a strong character who will be honest with me. I want to be able to trust them. I want a sex life, preferably a good one._

Snorting softly to herself, she decided she pretty much wanted the world. No pressure or anything.

The next question was harder … could she have what she wanted. _Can I open myself up enough to let someone try and be that person? Can I hold tight to myself without trying to become what they want me to be? Am I willing to allow myself to be hurt? Will I be willing to talk about my past? Can I trust someone, __**anyone**__, enough to give them control?_

She wanted it, there was no doubt about that. The problem was going to be if she could open up enough to actually let it happen. That was **always** the problem with her. Swinging her legs and enjoying the feel of the water flowing over them, she looked down at Peanut who was lying patiently at her side. "What do you think baby? Think I can get out of my own way and let it happen?"

Giggling at his enthusiastic tail wagging, she rubbed his head and let her eyes focus on nothing. "I don't know either. Maybe the second question should really be if I'm more afraid of never trying or trying and failing. It's one thing to survive life. It's another thing to live it. Which have I been doing?"

Rachel pondered the answer to that question the rest of the night.

* * *

**Next up - Politics, an evening of wine and information, and Rachel tries to take a bad mood out on Happy **


	9. Chapter 9

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 9**

Driving to work on Tuesday, Rachel told herself to put it away until that night. She owed Greg for this job, she knew that. While her resume had been very impressive and she was vastly overqualified for her job, she was aware that emotionally she was barely holding it together by that point. Too many big cities after her divorce, living a sterile life, and completely immersed in her work had been killing her. Greg had seen something in her and hired her on the spot. Moving to Charming had been a literal lifesaver.

After a morning spent on the computer, digging around in a client system remotely looking for what she was sure was a careful embezzlement scheme, she was more than happy to join Greg for lunch at the café down the street. Rubbing her eyes and not paying attention to anything but the lines of code she was running through her mind, she didn't notice the man at first when he sat down.

When he failed to get her attention, he cleared his throat and caused her to jump. "Oh! Sorry. I was elsewhere. How are you Jacob?" Glancing up at the line to see how much longer Greg would be with their order, she groaned internally. Jacob Hale, Jr. was not her favorite person. One of Rachel's biggest weaknesses in their line of work was that she had a hard time hiding it when she disliked someone. Pissing off one of the area's leading businessmen probably wouldn't make Greg happy.

"Rachel, I was hoping to run into you soon."

Stamping firmly on the incredulously horrified look that was trying to escape, she looked up at the line again and murmured, "Oh, why is that?" _Good, he's almost done. Hurry! I'm going to lose an account if you don't hurry! Why is it that my acting skills desert me when I usually need them the most?_

"Yes, it's about your … relationship … with the Sons of Anarchy," he said in a low voice. "Being still new to our town, I thought perhaps I would make you aware that they are bad news, since you obviously haven't heard."

"I'm sorry, I don't really understand. What are you trying to say exactly?" His first sentence had made her snap to attention and the second had installed what felt like a steel rod down her spine. Digging her nails into the palm of the hand in her lap, she tried to look inquiring and not demanding.

Greg sitting down interrupted whatever he was going to say, but the look Jacob shot her made her aware that she wasn't imagining what he was implying. Grinding her teeth, she poked at the sandwich she was no longer hungry for and listened to Greg and Jacob make small talk. Trying to see past the rage and indignation, she made a note to dig into why he would even care who she associated with later.

As their conversation wound down, Jacob turned and then, as if he had forgotten something, turned back. "Oh Greg, I almost forgot. I was just telling Rachel before you sat down that she should be careful who she associates with. Apparently no one has told her about our local outlaw problem. Perhaps you should educate her on how things work here in Charming."

Glancing at Rachel and seeing her temper flaring, Greg pressed his foot against hers to keep her quiet. "Of course Jacob, you can't be too careful these days," he answered noncommittally. "I'll be in contact about what we discussed on that construction project."

Looking down at the table, Rachel bit her lip so she wouldn't say something rash. Lifting her head up, her blue eyes pinned her friend and boss. "Town politics?"

"Let's talk about it back in my office. I don't think you're going to take this well." With that stomach churning statement, Rachel threw away the remains of her uneaten lunch and followed him to the door.

* * *

Patience was something she was only fleetingly acquainted with. It was a well known fact about Rachel that if you wanted to drive her insane, all you'd have to do is make her wait for information when she was upset. She had ways of coping for the times when life refused to move faster, but none of them were available right now. Giving herself a stern lecture about not jumping to conclusions and letting the man speak, she followed him into his office practically vibrating.

"I'd offer you a seat, but I don't think you can sit right now," he laughed. Rachel just shot him a dirty look. "Let me say this first. I consider you a friend as well as a valued employee. I think I've gotten to know you a bit over the last year and a half. With that in mind, l know how much you hate being told not to do something, even by your boss." _Stop teasing and get to the point Greg. If you knew me so well you'd realize that I'm about ready to jump over the desk and use your tie to hurry things along._

"Personally, I have no problem with the Sons. They've never caused me any issues, nor anyone that I know. In fact, I appreciate the fact that they've kept Charming small." Rachel waited for the other shoe to drop. "Professionally, they are a problem. Not so much in what they do, but in how they're aligned with the people who run this town. Jacob's faction despises the Sons and he's been known to punish businesses for taking their side instead of his. Jacob wants growth, it's how he makes his money."

"But CaraCara …" she trailed off with a confused look on her face as she slowly sat in the chair.

"CaraCara is only indirectly related to the Sons. There are a lot of ties, but on paper, they're not connected. Even the warehouse they invested is in another name. It's different. I know you told me that you were working on something to get the T-M consulting account and that was fine, but with Jacob giving you a warning, it's something we need to consider." Looking sympathetic, Greg leaned back and clasped his hands in front of his belly, the picture of small town patience.

Eyes focused on her whirling thoughts, Rachel was silent for awhile. Chewing her upper lip, she slowly met Greg's brown eyes. "I have something else that you should probably know then," she said as she held his gaze. "I have a date with a Son on Thursday night."

* * *

Locking her front door, Rachel sank down on the floor next to her welcoming committee. "You guys are awesome, I really needed this today." Soaking up the love, she finally pulled herself back up and went to change after letting Peanut out.

Curling up on her couch, she couldn't decide if she was grateful or surprised. Most of her life had come down to choices that she didn't want to make. Stay or go. Tell or don't tell. Try or give up. Live or die. Not having to make a choice between her job and her personal life, even if it might cause her boss problems, was a bit perplexing.

Oh sure, he wasn't exactly thrilled and wanting to give her away at the wedding, but he was firm that it was her personal life and she could do what she wanted. And if she just so happened to help T-M expand their business on her own time, well that was between friends wasn't it? She could see what he was doing, supporting the Sons and their venture at the same time as making it so that any repercussions fell directly on her instead of the business.

It was a move she approved of. If she made the choice, then it was her responsibility to bear the consequences. Rachel could handle it if she had to clean up her own life, but damaging anyone else's would hurt her deeply. On the other hand, someone telling her what she could and couldn't do was a great way of making her dig her heels in. Even if she and Happy decided that it wouldn't work, no one told her who her friends were, especially not a little jackass like Jacob Hale. Luckily, he was no longer her problem.

She wondered what she would have chosen, her security or her principles, if Greg had forced the issue.

* * *

Hanging up with Jax, she considered if him wanting to go over the report tomorrow had anything to do with her going to the Shelter. Squinting at her phone, it refused to give up the answer even as she tapped it on the table. Deciding that she had plenty of other things to worry about if she really wanted to worry about things, she poured herself a glass of wine and started walking to the patio hoping she could find enough peace so that she could sleep tonight.

When Rachel heard the doorbell, she stared at Annabel who had been following her. "Seriously? When did my life get so social?" _When you met Happy and became friends with Tara, Gemma, and Luann._ Yelling at Peanut and replacing her wine with her automatic, she went to the door to see who on earth it was.

Staring, she snapped out of her reverie and opened the door wider. "Please Gemma, come in." Leading her into the kitchen and putting her gun away, she motioned to her wine glass. "Can I get you a glass? This isn't a bad bottle."

"Sure baby, I'd like that."

Pouring, Rachel looked over at Gemma where she leaned against the counter. "Are you here about Jacob? I'm kind of surprised it traveled that fast."

"Jacob? Jacob Hale, Jr. the little prick? What the fuck did he want with you?" Watching Gemma work herself up, she waited for a break in the stream. _My goodness._

"He wanted to 'warn' me about how things work here in Charming. That I should be careful who I associate with." Gemma's reaction was all she could have hoped for.

"Motherfucker, he threatened you? For what? Being friends with some of us? Were you going to tell us about this?"

Lips twitching, Rachel said, "Deep breaths, Gemma, deep breaths. I only know basic first aid, so don't have a heart attack here." Taking a sip of wine, she addressed the questions. "Yes, he basically threatened me. Probably for being friends with you guys since I'm not sure how he'd know about things I've done for Jax or about Happy at all. Maybe for having CaraCara as a client. And no, I wasn't going to tell you, and if I had been thinking I'd have let you tell me why you were here instead of blurting it out."

Staring, Gemma tightened her grip on the wineglass. "And? What happened?"

"Nothing. He made his innuendo's to Greg and I …" she started.

"He did this in front of your boss? Fuck." Gemma interrupted.

Narrowing her eyes in warning, Rachel resumed. "As I was saying. He made his remarks and Greg and I went back to the office. He talked about how Charming politics work and I gave him full disclosure before we worked out a way for my personal life to stay just that. Personal."

"Full disclosure huh? You do still have a job don't you?"

"Yes, I still have a job. I don't need to take Luann up on her offer quite yet. And yes, full disclosure. I'm not going to elaborate, because if you didn't come here about Jacob, then it has to be about Happy," she snarked to her friend.

"Figured it out yet little girl?" asked Gemma.

"That look? Not yet, but I'm sure when I do I'll slap you for whatever it is," Rachel replied sweetly.

"Naw, you'll figure it out eventually. C'mon, grab the bottle. We need to talk."

* * *

Sitting in the dark at her patio table, with her head resting on her knees, Rachel waited for Gemma to start.

"I'm going to say some shit that I don't want you to repeat. To anyone. Ever. Shit I should not be implying, let alone telling you. If I find out you did talk, I'm going to make sure it's the last thing you do," warned Gemma's low voice.

Slowly straightening her head up and wishing she could see Gemma a bit better, even though she realized Gemma had picked this location on purpose, Rachel nodded slowly and said, "Alright. I can make all sorts of promises, but the most I can do to assure you is agree."

In fits and starts, Gemma began telling her what she thought Rachel needed to know about the Sons. Putting it together with the things she had picked up over the last year and especially in the last few months, Rachel was pretty sure she had a grasp on what they were about. A lot of the details were fuzzy, hell most of the details were non-existent, but that was ok … she didn't really need to know.

When she finished laying out how the club works and how the life really is for a woman involved with a member, even the way the guys behaved on runs, she paused.

Rachel's voice was distant as she said, "And you're telling me all of this because I'm getting involved, or at least thinking of getting involved, with Happy." Working it through, she questioned, "Why tell me now? I know you just told me more than you would anyone else in this position. That speech wasn't something you've practiced."

"No, it wasn't. And I shouldn't be saying a fucking word to you. Clay would have my ass in a sling if he knew what I was doing here tonight."

Gemma sighed, "I like you Rachel ... and this thing with Hap? I think it could really be something. Look, for a new hang around or a sweetbutt, I let em sink or swim. Most old ladies come from that pool, so any educating is mostly on how things change – not how they are. Shit even Tara grew up near enough to it to know what she was getting into with Jax."

Chuckling, she went on, "Even with that, I tried my damnedest to run Tara off, when they were 16 and last year. Not because I don't like her, but because this life is hard. Trying to straddle this world and the straight world makes it 10x fucking harder. It's harder for you to stick because you have more options. She proved that when she walked away once."

"I'm not going to tell you anything about Happy. You're a smart girl and he's blunt as a sledgehammer when he wants to be. What I do want to say is that you should think it through. Know what you're willing to give upfront. What you're willing to live with. Be aware of what you're getting yourself into," she cautioned Rachel. "It's not always safe, bad shit can go down. You can end up with years alone while they do time."

Pouring herself another glass of wine, Rachel didn't say anything for a few minutes. "I get what you're saying. I do. And I will think about it and I will talk to Happy about it. I won't give you away, but I'll work it around so I can ask questions," she smiled faintly in the dark. "Life is never safe and there's always a chance of being alone … no matter who you are." _I've never really been safe and I've spent most of my life alone._

Gemma's voice was very quiet in the dark. "I was attacked earlier this year. Because of the club. Three guys … they … well you know. I didn't tell Clay or Jax. Tara knows because I needed treatment after." She looked over at Rachel. "It's not always safe." _Goddamnit. Life fucking sucks sometimes, doesn't it Gemma. Fuck._

Rachel's eyes filled with tears as she bit her lips. "I'm sorry that happened to you. I understand what you're feeling, or at least as much as I can without being in that exact same situation." She paused and a few pieces slotted together, "This is why you asked about self defense and if I was going back to the Shelter, why you did the Girls Day."

"Don't get me wrong, I like you. But part of it is that you seem to have had shit happen to you and you're still moving. You're not only moving but you're fucking smiling and laughing while you do it. I wanted to know how."

Gemma's voice was a little defensive, so Rachel tried to reassure her. "Hey, it's ok. People become friends in all sorts of ways and for all sorts of reasons. I'm just happy that we are."

Draining her glass, Gemma stood up abruptly. "Ok. Good. Think about what I said." _Go ahead and run Gemma, I do it too. Sometimes things are too much, aren't they?_

Walking her to the SUV, Rachel grabbed Gemma's hand and squeezed, just once. "Thank you. For what you said, and for being my friend and trusting me."

Lips quirking into a half smile, Gemma tugged on some of Rachel's hair. "Yeah yeah, now get inside before I leave. Happy would kill me if you got hurt." _I love you too._

* * *

Laying in her bed, knowing that she was running out of time to think, Rachel put off sleep for a bit longer. Spreading out the pieces in her mind, she set out to fit them together and fill in as much of the picture as she could. Then she took the ones that bothered her the most and concentrated on them.

_Ok, the club does illegal things or Gemma wouldn't have mentioned jail time. I already had that worked out. They don't seem to be the type that would deal in drugs, but that's something I need to ask Happy … somehow. Stolen property? Eh. Whatever it is, it boils down to - illegal. Can I deal with that knowing that my reputation is vital to my career? Is there a way I can limit any damage that could come from that? Tara does this, maybe ask her?_

_The women don't seem to be well respected or well treated unless they're an Old Lady and even then they're still kept in their place. I will not be treated like a whore, no matter what my title is. I don't even know if I'm capable of being subservient to a man on a regular basis. I'm awfully independent. And mouthy. I have a temper that's fairly touchy. I don't think I'm willing to change much about myself, not unless I'm getting the same effort back._

_The men put the club above all else, loyalty to their own above all. I think I could be ok with that. Depends. Which is probably partly an answer right there. Another topic for discussion._

_Happy does something that no one talks about, but the level of respect/fear he generates … He has to do something violent. You don't get respect like that from guys like this unless you do something they see as impressive. So maybe something really violent. He was unhappy when Quinn used another nickname, what was it … oh. Oh my god. Killer. _

Rachel finally fell asleep two hours later.

* * *

By the time Wednesday afternoon rolled around, Rachel was in a bad mood and working on a worse one. She didn't get enough sleep the night before, she had a faint wine headache from one too many glasses, and her brain refused to stay focused on work. Leaving an hour early and picking up Peanut, she pulled into T-M for her meeting with Jax. _I really need to get my car seats fixed._

Knowing she only had a couple hours, she glanced around for him but didn't see him. _Crap. Maybe Gemma knows?_ Walking up to the office, she smiled at Gemma and remarked, "Wow, this place is deserted. I was supposed to meet Jax, he around?"

Flapping her hand in irritation, Gemma responded, "They had a meeting and left me with a line of cars that's all backed up now. Fuckers. Should be done soon, at least they better fucking be." Gemma glared at the line of keys on her desk. _Don't laugh, she probably won't appreciate that._

"Mind if I get Peanut out and sit at the picnic table if Juice doesn't mind? He'd love to sniff all the new smells." Rachel carefully avoided saying that they'd also probably kill each other if they were both this irritable and stuck in a small office together.

Gemma waved her away saying, "Yeah yeah, it's fine, he's a good dog."

Greeting Juice, Rachel leaned against the table top and watching Peanut act like a spaz. Stretching her legs, she hoped that Jax hurried the hell up. She was pretty sure a nap was out of the question, but she might be able to catch some downtime in a quiet room or something to recharge.

"Fuck! Damnit!" Juice growled at his laptop.

Familiar with those words, that expression, and the frustration that comes with it, Rachel asked, "Working on something that refuses to come together the way you know it should?"

"Yeah, the security feed is fritzing out and the program I use to save it isn't working right either."

Wrinkling her brow, Rachel got a few more details and then asked why they didn't send the feed to an offsite location and then access it from here. Mentioning that a fire would be especially bad if you wanted to replay things that were destroyed by that same fire. Juice stared at her for a few minutes.

"Yeah ok, that's a good point. I should have thought of that. What else do you got?" _A puppy, I swear to god I want to pat him. He's so enthusiastic and open. I don't know that I've ever been that open!_

Thinking, she remembered the talk she had last night with Gemma and how she said things weren't always safe. "I can guess that things aren't always … safe … around here. Since I'm sure you men can take care of yourselves, have you ever thought about giving the women and your friends like a panic button of some kind? Press it and it alerts the clubhouse in an emergency?"

Since Juice just kind of looked at her like he was trying to figure out what she knew, she tried to change the subject. "Think Jax will be done soon?" _Stop looking at me like that. Not in the mood._

As if she had conjured him, Jax's head poked out of the clubhouse door. "Hey you're here. Come on in, we can talk at one of the tables."

"I have Peanut with me, ok if he comes in or should I post him out here until I get back?" _Please don't make me have him stay down for an hour or so in a strange place where he can't see me, he'll be neurotic for days._

When Jax told her it was fine, Rachel whistled for her beast, gathered up her purse and attaché case and followed him in. With Peanut trotting beside her, they both took a good look around. She smiled as she realized it was like most bars, it looked better at night. Still, it had a good number of people scattered around.

Smiling at the men she recognized while quickly noticing that Happy wasn't here, she was startled when a man with bright blue eyes and curly black hair stopped in front of her and stared at Peanut. _Why is he staring? Do I ask? Would that be rude, or is he being rude by blocking me and my dog? Fuck I need a manual. Do I even fucking care? Well … would I care if I wasn't so bitchy?_

Finally the man looked up at her, glared like she was a speck on his shoe, and walked away. _So lucky I'm biting my tongue right now. Ass._

As she sat down at the table and pulled out a copy of the report, she smiled at Jax. "So, you had questions," starting the ball rolling.

* * *

More than an hour later, she sat back and finished off her bottle of water. Jax did indeed have a lot of questions. Her mood had gone up a bit as she realized that Jax was actually really smart. He may not have much of a formal education, but he was pretty quick to see how things worked. By the time they finished, he said that he was bringing the custom bike builds up to the guys next week and had asked her to get more information on how much capital they'd need for a repo/auction combo.

Smothering a yawn now that she wasn't focused, she started to gather her stuff up. When Jax asked her what time she had to be at the Shelter, she answered without thinking about it. "My class starts in less than half an hour, so I need to take off now. I still need to change into clothes that I can work out in," gesturing to her jeans and fitted top. She looked up to see him staring at her.

"What," she stared at Jax. "You want to say something, I can tell. Just say it." _And don't say what I think you're going to say._

Jax looked away from her and then back as she crossed her arms and stared at him. Peanut was reacting to her body language and slowly stood up as well. "I just … let one of us give you a ride, or pick you up at least. Unser didn't catch anyone and they could come back."

Biting down on her lip so hard she almost tasted blood, she let all of her furious first responses flow by. Finally she forced a smile and said as she turned to leave, "I appreciate your concern, I do. I'll be fine, I'll have Peanut there and I'll have my gun in my hand from door to door." Motioning for Peanut to heel, she completed her turn and almost ran into Happy. _Fuck me._

Knowing she was coming, Happy had been coming to talk to her about going to the Shelter tonight. Staring down at Rachel and seeing that furiously stubborn look on her face, Happy realized Jax had already brought it up and she was pissed off. He didn't give a flying fuck. "Rachel … " he started.

She might not have wanted to tear Jax a new one, but this was different. Happy was inadvertently the cause of why she was so fucking tired and grumpy. "Happy …" she answered mockingly.

Pulling her over to the side of the room, he snapped, "Hey. I thought we were past this shit. It's not that I don't think you can take care of yourself and you fucking know it." _Oh, he's mad. Well, so am I._

"Then why is it necessary for anyone to escort me to a place that I've been going to weekly for a year without any problems? When I'll have my gun in my hand and my big ass dog pulling guard duty? Why?" she ranted. Rachel was only slightly aware that there were other people in the room. If he hadn't ambushed her, she might have cared. She was pretty sure that no one could hear, even if they could see.

Lowering his voice and leaning in to her, he growled in her ear, "I'll tell you why. Because it happened after you came around the Sons, because I fucking care if you get hurt, and because it won't cost you anything to let it fucking happen. I don't want you going at all for fucks sake, but I haven't said a word about not going have I?"

Making sure she could see on his face how pissed he was, he waited. She wasn't fuckin leaving here alone. Period. _Fuck croweaters are so much easier to deal with. She's __**gotta**__ stop arguing with me in public though, this shit isn't going to fly._

Closing her eyes and bending her head down, Rachel slowly began to count to 10, and then decided 20 was better. Her eyes flew open when two things happened simultaneously; Peanut started growling and Happy's hand touched her chin to tilt it up. Seeing his eyes narrow dangerously at her dog, she gave Peanut the command to stand down. _Don't you glare at my dog, he doesn't know you and you touched me. You're lucky he only fucking growled._

"The fuck were you doing?"

"Counting to 10. Then I started to count to 10 again." Rubbing her temples, she looked down at Peanut and then back up at Happy. "**If** someone has to, they can follow me there and to make sure I get home alright. That's it."

_I really do wonder sometimes how sane I am. I'm pretty sure that the man in front of me has killed people and I'm fucking challenging him in the middle of a clubhouse where testosterone rules all. After what Gemma said last night about how they are about respect. Am I trying to fuck this up before it gets started or see how far his temper will stretch? You're picking a fight and he didn't do anything but show concern. You're being kind of an unreasonable bitch._

Watching Peanut, Happy slowly reached out and ran his hand to the back of her neck with his thumb against her jaw. Satisfied when Peanut didn't react, he held her gaze as he said warningly, "This shit needs to stop Rachel and you know it. I can only bend so far. You can't keep pushing me all the time." When her eyes softened and she gave him an apologetic look, he let her lean forward, rest her head on his chest and wrap her arms around him.

"Shit. You're right. I'm sorry Happy. I'm in a **really** shitty mood, but that doesn't mean I get to take it out on you. I'm snappy because I'm exhausted and hungry. I didn't sleep well and it has been a really long week. I overreacted to you guys wanting to help keep me safe. By the way, are you guys aware of how much Jacob Hale really doesn't like you?" _Why can't I shut up when I'm tired? It's like my mouth knows the filter is gone and just goes merrily along spilling everything I don't want it to._

Eyes moving from the top of Rachel's head where she was groaning and lightly banging it into his chest, he called out to Jax. "Hale is bothering her? Something happenin I need to know?" Nodding at the 'later' look he got back, he pushed her away from him to ask what Hale said. Seeing the dark bruises under her eyes and how her blinks were getting slower, he frowned.

"Rach, you sure you want to do this? You look ready to drop." He held up a hand when she started to look pissy. "I'm not tryin to tell you not to go, what I'm sayin is that you look really fucking tired and you're basically going to go work out all damn night. Stop being so fucking stubborn for a second and think about it."

Watching those pretty blue eyes snap with temper, he fought down a smile. She really was fucking stubborn. Gotta do shit her own way. Waiting her out, he saw the exact moment when she decided he was right. _Don't smile, she'll flip the fuck out if you smile._

"Fuck me. Fine," she snapped. "I'll call in tonight and skip until next week. Because you're right, I am too tired. I'd probably get in an accident on the way home." _Good girl._

Walking her out, he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, intending to steal a quick kiss before putting her in the car. That was the plan before her fingers curled into his shirt and kutte and her teeth grabbed his bottom lip before lightly sucking on it. Pushing her against the car, he slipped a leg between hers as he buried his fingers in her hair. Swallowing the whimpers she made when one of his hands pulled her hip towards his thigh, he almost forgot where the fuck he was as he took her mouth again and again while pressing his dick into that toned stomach and rocking her against his leg.

Breathing heavily as he pulled his mouth from hers, he looked down at her swollen lips and flushed face. She must be tired, because she wasn't hiding a damn thing. Her hazy blue eyes were glazed over with so much lust it made his dick twitch against her and he had to fight not to wrap those long legs around his waist. Pulling his hands slowly off of her, he reminded himself that they had to fucking talk first.

_You're not a fuckin teenager, even if your dick feels like it. You know you're taking advantage of her if you don't. She's not a croweater. She deserves to know what she could be getting into.  
_

"Fuck Rachel," he said roughly into her ear and heard her moan softly. "You gotta go. If you stay here any longer, I'm going to forget where we are and take you against this car and I'm not going to care that we haven't talked or how tired you are. You have no idea how much I fucking want you." Nipping at that bottom lip that was driving him insane, he allowed himself one last kiss before slowly pulling away. "Tomorrow girl."

"Tomorrow."

* * *

**Next up - The date  
**


	10. Chapter 10

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

A/N: This was an incredibly difficult chapter to write because I was trying to keep a good balance during 'the talk'. I don't want their relationship to be something where Happy lays down the law and she's expected to fall in line. Nor did I want her to fight him on everything. In order for that to happen, they had to gain a deeper understanding of each other.

I tried to make them do it differently, but they absolutely refused to get involved with each other until they had this discussion. Apparently if they didn't do the important parts of the talk all at once, she clammed up and he went with the flow and their relationship was all fucked.

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Sitting at her kitchen table Thursday morning Rachel tapped her pen on the table as she considered what she needed for dinner tonight. She had landed on steaks with twice baked potatoes and a pasta salad recipe she picked up from Poppy, so it would be simple, but easy to cook and could be set up ahead of time. Chuckling, she jotted down beer for him. _I don't see Happy as a wine drinker somehow._

Today was going to drag, she could already feel it.

* * *

Happy spent most of his day down in Bakersfield. He hadn't had a chance to stop down since he had gotten back from Tacoma. He spent a lot of energy not thinking about tonight, because he knew his Ma would pick up on it like a bloodhound. He'd be fuckin married in Ma's head before he and Rachel even had dinner.

Parking in his spot at T-M a few hours later, Happy heard Jax pull in behind him. Looking over, he nodded as Jax and one of the porn stars, Ima something, got off his bike. Noticing the blinds in the office twitch he figured Tara or Gemma was watching. Fuck he remembered feeling as cocky as Jax looked right now. Then he lost too many friends over the years to bad decisions, bullets, and jail. You had to play life smart, work at it if you wanted something worth having.

Heading towards the garage, he figured Gemma could use some help. Get a little grease under his nails and he'd feel a lot better.

* * *

By 7:00, Rachel had everything done for dinner with the exception of the steaks. Curling up on her bed with a book, she ended up in a light doze that ended abruptly when she heard the rumble of his bike coming down the street and into her driveway. Changing her shirt really fast, fluffing her hair and checking her makeup, she grumbled at herself for not setting an alarm.

Feeling oddly like a normal high school girl that she never actually was, she swung open the door and gave him a big smile, "Hi there!"

With the exception of last night, Happy realized that every time he saw her she had been happy and smiling. Shit even last night she wasn't unhappy really, just bitchy as hell. _How the fuck does she manage that?_ He eyed Peanut as he leaned in and started to give her a quick kiss. "Hey little girl … is your dog going to eat me tonight if I touch you?"

Completing the lean and pulling away quickly before he could deepen the kiss, she winked at him. "Not tonight, he was told to be polite." Locking the door behind him, she led him deeper into her home. "Think maybe I can get a ride on that bike some day? It's been years." _Damnit Rachel, stop thinking about sex. Pondering if you can manage to straddle him while he's on the bike without injuring yourself is not where your head needs to be at tonight._

Seeing her faint blush and her teeth catch on her lip, Happy wondered where she just went in her head. He didn't even think she heard him say he'd take her later tonight if she wanted. Like he'd say no to having her wrap her body around him and hold on tight. He hasn't traded his dick in for pussy yet. She was looking good too, he suddenly realized. _How is it that I fuckin noticed her smile before what she's wearing? Maybe I have traded it in._

"C'mon," Rachel said as she grabbed his arm, "you can help me cook the steaks. I'm told that's man shit. I'll pay you in beer." Letting go of all of her worries about tonight, she decided to just treat him like she would anyone else. It had worked so far, right?

* * *

Sitting at the patio table outside, dinner over, Happy looked at the woman across from him and wondered where to begin. How the fuck do you start a conversation like this? Should he tell her enough so that she gets the entire picture or ease her into it? _Fuck, I couldn't have thought about this while I was working on that Chevy this afternoon?_ As the pause grew too long, he finally broke and rubbed his hand across his head.

"Fuck. I don't know where to start."

Narrowing her eyes in thought, Rachel wondered if there was an easier way for them to do this. "I have an idea, but it's kind of different. You have to give it a chance. I **think** it will make this easier. Maybe." _Or I'll look like a weirdo, either way._ Grabbing his arm, Rachel led him out to one of the oversized chaise lounges by the pool. "Take your boots off or whatever you need to be comfortable and sit." _Jacket? Vest? I need to ask Tara what that's called, Gemma would laugh at me._

Bringing back two beers, a full glass of wine and an ashtray, she set them on the side table. As he stared up at her, she grinned and pushed his leg down while sliding onto the seat between his legs. Pulling his leg back up, she pulled his arms around her and scooted down so that her back was against his chest. _God he smells good._ "See, I don't think either one of us are good at actually talking. I'm great at chatting, but I never actually say anything. And you seem to think there is a fee per word surcharge when you talk."

Feeling his chest move a bit as he laughed, she hugged his arms a bit. "Now the thing here is that we can't see each other's faces, but we can still feel reactions. It makes it a little less personal. I'm pretty sure we could both use that distance. Plus, it's almost dark, and it's always easier to talk in the dark." _I need it, say this is ok._

Looking down at the top of her head, Happy wondered how she seemed to know what he needed. He could do this if he had to, he still didn't **want **to talk about this shit, but this was a lot better than facing her across a table in a brightly lit room. "Thanks girl, this helps." _Now where to fucking start?_

Rolling her eyes a little when he didn't say anything else, she figured he was stuck again. _Happy might actually be more emotionally stunted than I am in some ways._ "How about we do a round robin. You ask me a question, and then I'll ask you one. If you can't answer something because of the club, just say so. Good faith answers, no cop outs."

"**Any** question?"

"For the purposes of this conversation, yes. Look, we already know that our sex life would be hot as hell. I have no doubts about that at all. But I don't know if I can live in your world, or if I even want to. There are going to be things that I just can't or won't deal with, although you might be surprised at what those are. We're going to have to make compromises, both of us, because we **are** so different. I've got my own set of issues too, believe me." She blew out a breath. "The thing is, in order to figure out if we even want to put in that effort, we need to do some due diligence."

Rachel sighed and said in a small voice, "I know that you're doing this talk for me, that if I were different and could do a casual thing …"

"Stop." Happy kissed the top of her head and admitted, "Maybe, maybe not. But, I'm not 20 anymore Rachel. I don't want the same things. I don't know quite what I do want, but if all I wanted was a casual fuck, I wouldn't be here. Stop the if's. I made this decision."

Nodding, she tried to accept that. _First thing to trust him on … that he won't lie to make you feel better._ "Ok, you get first question then." _God, I went first so he didn't have to, but this sucks ass._

Happy leaned back and looked at the pool and wondered if he should really ask this. _Man up, you need to know this even if you're not sure you want to hear it._ "Why are you even considering this?"

"What?" She tried to turn, but he wouldn't let her. "I don't understand."

"Rachel, you are a smokin' hot woman with money and a good job. Why are you even considering getting involved with me?" _Well he went right for the jugular, didn't he._

Gritting her teeth, she laid her head back down on his chest. "There are a few reasons. The first is that I enjoy being around you. You make me feel … like I can be me and it's ok. That if I told you my secrets, you wouldn't make me feel weak or betray me by telling anyone else. You show through your dedication to the club that honor and family and loyalty are all important to you – which is important to me. You have had opportunities to push me faster and didn't, because even when you had just met me, you respected me on some level." _Fuck I hate talking about this shit._

Sighing, she tried to find the words, "My life is solitary, and that's ok. I really don't mind it like that. But there's a difference between surviving and living and I think I've been just surviving a long time. I don't judge people except by their own words and actions, and I like what yours tell me. I've lived most of my life relying on my gut, and even when I thought it steered me wrong, it still taught me something. My gut is telling me that you, that this, could be worth the effort."

Trying to relax, considering that she was feeling very exposed, she went for her normal defense mechanism. "Oh and because you're hot as fuck and I want to sex you up for hours at a time?"

She felt him huff another laugh. "I'm not sure what to say. It's been a long time since anyone said stuff like that about me. I think my Ma was the last."

Clamping down on another joke, because it wouldn't be at all appropriate, even if it would make her feel better, she waited.

"Your turn." _Fuck, please don't ask me the same question, not yet._

The time passed as they pushed the questions back and forth. Rachel had to tell him about parts of her marriage, how she ended up with such a well trained dog, and how she ended up in Charming. She countered by asking Happy about his Ma and how he grew up and if he'd ever been in an actual relationship before. She told him Quinn didn't count. He told her she was a puzzle, that he liked that about her.

"Tell me about why you ride." _Oh aren't you a sneaky little bitch. You get more of my past without asking straight out for it._

"I ride because I need to be free. I was in prison and got out when I was almost 24. When I did, all I wanted was to be free. I hated being locked up in that cage. When I'm on the road, it's just me, no responsibilities. The wind clears my mind and the hum of the road relaxes me. I ride with the club because they're a family and my brothers. I can be alone, but not alone. I'll always have someone to cover my back." _I don't know if I've ever said that many words in a row at once. Fuck._

"I envy you that." The rumbling voice behind her had sounded so content when he talked about riding and the club. "I've never felt that secure with anything. I've never believed anyone would ever have my back like that. Well unless they're Peanut. That was a good answer, thank you."

He couldn't believe that she never felt secure. _I don't think she'd flat out lie to me, but that just doesn't make any sense._ "Ready?"

Closing her eyes, she hoped for a soft ball. "You said earlier that I would be surprised at what you could and couldn't deal with. Explain?" _Oh god. Why are his questions so much harder to answer?_

Reaching for her wine, she took a big drink. Making a small humming noise when he squeezed her lightly, she opened her eyes and leapt off the cliff. "There are things that I've … guessed … to be true … about the Sons and … about you and the Sons." Feeling him tense behind her, she threaded her fingers through his. "No one has been really forthcoming, but I'm observant and intuitive. I always have been. I don't know details, but I know the Sons do something illegal to make money."

Hearing him take a breath, she hurried on, "You don't have to confirm or not, that's not where I'm going with this. If you can, wait for me to finish." Feeling him squeeze her hand and remain silent, she figured that meant he would. His body was like a rock with all the tension.

"I figured that out quite awhile ago, even if I didn't verbalize it to myself. On Tuesday, when Hale … don't tense up any more or you'll break something … on Tuesday when Hale made his little threats, I talked to my boss about the Sons. He explained how things are in Charming and that it **could** be bad for business, but not to worry about it and let him do the balancing with Hale."

She giggled a little, "And then I told him I had a date with a Son on Thursday. Poor Greg."

"After being made more aware of how things are perceived here in town, I had to actually think about what you guys do. As long as you can tell me that it's not drugs, it's not a deal breaker. I have a few strategies to lessen the impact it will have on my career if it ever becomes something I need to address. My boss is aware of this," she waved her hands over them, "and he agrees that my personal life is just that, personal. So, what the Sons do or don't do outside of the law, barring drugs, is something I can deal with."

Rachel took another deep breath and then let it out slowly. _How the __**fuck**__ do I say this?_ "I don't think you're just a regular member Happy." All of the tension that had left when she had explained flooded back into his frame. "I'd still like you to tell me what you do and why, but if you can't then I'll try to understand," she licked her lips nervously and went on, "I think you do something that causes the other men in the club to respect you more than average and the women to fear you. I also know you have another nickname. I'm a smart girl."

Holding himself as still as possible, he stared down at the tiny redhead in his arms. What the fuck? It didn't even matter that she put it together on her own at this point. "And you're saying, that … what, that you're ok with that?" He couldn't hide the disbelief in his voice.

Looking down at their arms, his rough and muscular and covered in tattoos, next to her much smaller lighter ones, she wondered if she could talk about this with someone else, with Happy. It was one thing to … would he understand or believe her if she didn't explain? Would he think she was weak if she did?

"Rachel … fuck it's ok, I get it …" Happy said as he started to loosen his arms.

"No! No you don't. Just … wait a second. I need to figure out how to explain." She did not want to go to this place. She may not be trusting, but he was wary. **Really wary**. If she didn't give him the reason, he'd never believe her, no matter what she said. _Decide now, do you want this enough to tell him? _

"Ok, I need you to promise me that you won't say anything until I tap you on the leg. No matter how much you want to. I think maybe I'm only going to ever be able to talk about this once, so I need to make sure I get it all out."

Lifting her up so she was on his thighs instead of between his legs, he tucked her head against his neck. "I promise." _What the fuck could be so bad that she's almost trembling?_

"This is kind of a long story, but I'll shorten it as much as I can. My adopted mother died when I was 8 and my dad became an alcoholic. So I was pretty much doing everything at home, plus school. I only had a few friends, mostly kids around the extended neighborhood, but we certainly didn't live in the classy side of town. Not the dive either, but … anyway. When I was 11," her voice cracked and she cleared her throat while he rubbed her thighs, "when I was 11, I was gang raped by an older male friend and his two brothers at a park near my house. I never told anyone, not even my dad, not that he would have been able to crawl out of the bottle long enough to deal with it. I tried really hard to put it behind me, but I started falling behind in everything. All of a sudden I couldn't handle anything. The only thing I was proud of in my life at that point was that I was always in the accelerated classes. Being smart gave me something to be proud of. It was just mine."

"When school started up the next year, they had dropped me from those classes. For cause, but still. I looked at my life, and how it had gone so far, and I just lost it. I tried to commit suicide and put myself into a coma for a week. It was pure luck that I was found in time. I know it was weak, but …"

She was practically vibrating at this point, this is what she was worried about, that he'd think she was weak and couldn't handle bad shit. Swallowing, she went on, "Anyway, I kept the secret through all of the questioning and counseling. I was too young to understand that I shouldn't have to be ashamed, that it was all on them. My mistake was trusting people I knew not to hurt me. I don't make that mistake anymore."

"I started getting mad though. Really mad. I had been an angry child already, but now I was full of this rage that was just eating me up inside. This time, instead of turning it in on myself, I turned it on the people who caused it. My entire life had gone to shit, my dad still didn't seem to care because he was too busy drinking himself to death, kids at school stared and whispered about me and these fuckers were skipping along like life was just grand."

Huffing out an angry breath, she finished in a cold calm voice. "When I was almost 14, I shot all 3 of them to death in that same park using a gun I had stolen from a friend's parent. I was never even questioned during the investigation. **That's** the part of me you saw in the alley that night. **That's** the part that is fine with what you do."

Reaching out, she tapped him softly on the leg and waited for judgment.

When she had first started telling him the story, Happy was confused, and kind of pissed at her dad, but he didn't see how it related to him killing. Then he was in a rage and knew they would die as painfully as he could come up with. He tried to imagine her fucking spirit stamped out so bad that she wanted to die. When she said she killed them, he was fucking proud. He wanted to resurrect the motherfuckers just so he could teach them what pain really was, shooting was too fucking good for them. She had been a kid. No fucking wonder she said she had never known that feeling of someone having her back, she's always had to watch her own.

Picking her up and turning her around, he wanted to be sure she could see his face, so that there would be no doubt about what he was saying. "You listen to me. You are not fucking weak. You are a strong bitch and I'm proud of you for killing them." He wondered if she really believed that because she choose suicide at fuckin 12 - after all the shit she dealt with **alone -** that she would be considered weak the rest of her life.

Seeing the shamed look in her eyes, he realized that she did. Rubbing her lips with his thumb, Happy quirked a smile at her, "C'mon, let's take a break and do what helps me. Let's go for a ride."

* * *

Rachel smiled into his back as she realized she was living the dream she had not long ago. Letting the wind and tires and the smell and feel of Happy soothe her, she felt a lot better than she thought she would if she ever told anyone that piece of her past. She also realized that there weren't a lot of people who would have responded like he did. Rachel knew that it wasn't quite done, he didn't know about her reckless periods, but she decided it didn't matter. The toughest man she knew just told her he didn't think she was weak. For now, that was more than enough.

* * *

Until she got on and wrapped her arms around him, he hadn't realized he hadn't had anyone ride bitch in years. When he was younger and more patient with sweetbutts, he didn't mind it, but as he got older, he kept his bike back as part of himself – like sleeping in his bed. Shit like that didn't get shared with someone who he didn't have any respect for.

Moving his left hand, he reached down to pat and rub her hand a few times. Happy was really hoping this ride helped her feel better. He definitely preferred her when she was smiling and teasing him. She had been so quiet and almost wary when they left her place. The thought of her taking care of those motherfuckers, of avenging herself, was making his dick ache too.

Thinking over what they had talked about so far, he wondered what else they needed to discuss. Even if she was feeling better when this ride was over, she had to be about wiped out. She fucking runs herself down until she passes out. _I'm going to put a stop to that somehow. She needs to take better fucking care of herself._

_She wants to know why I do it._ Would she understand that he fell into it when he was younger and meaner and that he was just good at it? That it didn't bother him to take a life and he understood how to cause the right kind of pain to get answers? _She never said what, other than drugs, was something she couldn't live with._

Even if tonight had made him uncomfortable as fuck, it hadn't been the worst thing he'd had to do. He tried to imagine if they could have talked about this shit any other way, and couldn't see it. He came here fully expecting to have to explain the club and what he did, at least in general terms and then couldn't get the first word out. _She's a fucking miracle worker. I'm not breaking out in a fuckin sweat, even after I realize we'll probably have to do that again at some point. Quinn would be laughing his ass off if he heard this shit. Dickhead._

* * *

Pulling onto a side road where he knew there was a cliff that looked over the valley, he figured he'd give her a few minutes to walk around before they headed back. If she hadn't ridden in years, her back and legs were probably starting to ache._ That and I really need to fucking touch her._

"It's not drugs," he said a few moments after he turned the bike off. "I will probably tell you some time, but I swear it's not drugs." Leaning the bike on the stand, he paused and looked at her where she was standing next to him. Her eyes were calm and accepting. _Shit, I'm just not this lucky. _Swinging one leg around to sit sideways, he pulled her between his legs.

"I know there's more, and shit on my side, but I need to know what else is too much for you." He rested his hands on her hips and looked at her seriously. "Because if we can get past whatever that is, I'm going to fucking kiss you again and I need that out of the way first." _Because I'm not sure I'll stop once we start. Not now._

_I can't get past this. I've worked it over and over in my mind, and I just can't. I know it's one of those things they do, but I … I can't. _"I can't share you with other women. I won't. I know … **fuck**. I know you guys don't think it means anything. I get that, I do. But I **will not **share." Thinking of something else, she amended, "I don't mean just somewhere I'll hear about it either. If I'm only having sex with you, then I want that right as well. If you find someone you want to touch, you break it off with me first."

Waiting, because she knew she was asking a lot, she wondered if this is what would make him decide she wasn't worth it all this shit. _I doubt I'm anything like he thought I was. I wish I could be like other women sometimes._

Happy stared at the tiny defiant woman in front of him and wanted to laugh. **That** was the biggest issue she had with his life? He hadn't fucked anyone else since he decided last week that they were going to deal with whatever this was and either move it forward or end it for good. It was that or he went insane. _She wants someone to trust. She wants someone to watch her back. She is willing to accept that I kill on a regular basis, and all she wants in return is __**this**__?_

Putting his hands on her cheeks, he looked directly into those pretty blue eyes and rasped out a promise. "For as long as we're together, you're it. No sex, no blowjobs on the road. I give you my word of honor."

* * *

She didn't really think he'd agree. When he'd looked at her so seriously, she really thought he was going to explain that it was part of his lifestyle and that he wouldn't give it up. She figured he would try and set some conditions if nothing else, to try and make it ok. _He's willing to bend. He wants me enough to work with me instead of just telling me how it is._

Eyes wide, Rachel really didn't know what to say. A man like Happy, who lived like he did, wouldn't give his word unless he meant it. Thank you seemed to be a really poor way of putting it. When she realized what he was saying, both spoken and unspoken, a ball of happiness had started to grow and expand in her chest until she thought she'd break out into fucking song. It was ridiculous. So no, thank you didn't seem to be appropriate.

_I want to go home and unwrap him, it's like Christmas and my birthday all at once._ Leaning forward, Rachel slanted her mouth over his, trying to show him everything she felt, nipping and licking at his startled lips until he opened. Dragging her nails up his chest, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body tight against his. Pulling back slightly and going on tiptoe, she used her lips to follow his jaw until she got to his ear.

Not feeling any last minute misgivings, she ran one of her hands down to his hip while she whispered, "In that case, I think it's time you took me home." In case he had any doubt what that meant, she ran her fingers up the bulge in his jeans, feeling the jerk his body made while she stared in his eyes. "Please."

* * *

Happy was in heaven. Or hell, depending on how you looked at it. She hadn't had to ask him twice to take her home, not with those fucking signals. He had dropped a hard, almost bruising kiss on her mouth and then slid her on the bike. Mounting up, he didn't waste any time getting back on the highway.

They were still 15 minutes away and she was fucking running her fingers and nails over his chest, up his thighs, and when she felt really fucking daring, she'd pass over his dick. He was so hard at this point that he had to pull her hands up and hold them still, yanking on them when she tried to move. He could feel her chest moving against him as she laughed. _Fucking tease, wait until I start in on you, we'll see whose laughing then._

Giggling when he finally got tired of her fucking with him, Rachel relaxed against the broad back. She idly wondered how being together would work. She was pretty sure that Sons don't date the way the rest of the world does when starting a relationship. That was ok. She had given him her biggest secret and instead of condemning her, he had told her he was proud. She had asked for something she knew from Gemma that women just didn't get, at least not normally, and he gave her his word that it would be only her. She was more than willing to bend for him if he needed something from her.

* * *

Scooping her over his shoulder, he snapped his fingers and said, "Keys." As she handed them down to him, with the right one poking out, he smacked her on the ass. "Good girl." Ignoring her when she started complaining, he concentrated on opening the door and relocking it. Sliding her down his body, he faced her towards the various room openings. "Which way?"

Bending down, he put his teeth on her neck and started nipping. Smirking with satisfaction when she trembled, he let her lead him to her bedroom. Shutting the door in the dog's face, he looked around. They were in a large room with what looked like a couple of big closets and a bathroom off of it. The big window had a window seat and an open area at the top that was letting in moonlight. A king size bed with a grey and white comforter was almost perfectly centered in the glow.

Pushing her lightly against the door, they paused and looked at each other in the dim light. The air, which had been heating up with anticipation, suddenly stilled when he reached out and slid his hands into her hair, tilting her head up to him. Leaning close, he could feel her hands clamping down on his hips. Stopping a breath away from kissing her, he felt her trembling against him as he whispered. "You're sure."

Eyes that had fluttered closed as he had gotten nearer, flicked open. Her eyes searched his for a second, and then, "Yes."

Completing the move towards her lips, he stole most of the word, as he slanted their heads and dominated her mouth. Sliding his tongue across the seam of her lips, he slid it inside as she opened for him. Pressing her hard against the wall, he finally pulled his hands out of her hair and lifted her up. They both groaned when her legs locked around his hips.

Breathing heavily, Happy used his body to hold her against the door as he let his lips and fingers explore what he could reach of her. Growling as she started arching against his dick, trying to get more friction, he bit at her lip and pulled her away from the door. _Jesus Christ she feels good. Fucking strong too, I don't even need to hold her up._ As he walked her over to the bed, loving the roll of her hips against his, he let his hands run up and down her back as she licked at the inside of his mouth and whimpered.

Stopping by the side of the bed, he slid her down his body, looking at her with smoldering eyes. Moving slowly, he ran his hands down from her neck to the hem of her shirt. Slowly pushing it up, he bit down on a moan when he saw her tits encased in black silk and lace. _Fucking perfect. _Slipping it over her head, he held her eyes as he rubbed his thumbs over each hard nipple, tweaking each one with a forefinger, watching the way she dropped her head back on each pass. _That noise, she needs to make that fucking noise all the time._

When she whined in the back of her throat and bit down on her lip, he leaned forward and sucked it between his. Using one hand to pull her head up to his, he used the other to flick open her bra and immediately palmed one of her tits. Jesus. Christ. Her skin was so fucking warm and soft. Panting softly, he looked down at her where she stood next to the bed and tried to ignore his dick throbbing in time with her gasping breaths.

As Rachel was trying to breathe past the overwhelming urge to take his hand and press it against her while she rode it, she realized that he needed to have less clothes on too. _I'm going to come before we even get naked. Fuck. _ Slowly, not knowing how this worked but sensing it was important, she worked the leather vest off of him. When he laid it on the armchair, she figured that was a thing to remember. _No tossing it on the floor._ Smiling when he laid a gun and knife on the nightstand, she held his unblinking gaze with hers while she slowly pulled his belt off.

Shuddering from the feel of his big rough hands playing softly up and down the soft skin of her spine, she slid her nails under his white tshirt and slowly slid her hands up that expanse of hard smooth skin. _Oh my god, he's a literal work of art._ Eyes wide, she got his shirt up as far as she could reach and let him finish tugging it off. While he worked on that, she traced the big snake on his chest with a nail.

"Hope you're not scared of snakes," he said lowly, as she leaned forward and traced the muscles in his abdomen with the pads of her fingers. Using her teeth and tongue to nip and soothe the snake, she peeked up at him from under her lashes. "Does it feel like I am?"

"Fuck Rachel," he growled.

When a huge bolt of lust blew through him, he kicked off his boots and placed her on the bed. Leaning down, he pulled off her shoes and socks, making her squirm. "Oh I'll remember that. Yes I will," he promised. Running his hands up her legs, he slowly parted her thighs wide and came forward so that he was pressing his jean clad dick against her.

"Happy!"

The first full body contact in this position, with his hot skin and his body so hard and heavy on hers, created a flood of wetness as she eagerly wrapped her hands around his biceps. He was laying his hips against her pelvis just enough that she couldn't raise up against him, couldn't wrap her legs around him or do anything other than take the slow press and release he was teasing her with. Watching the tattoos move on his stomach was almost as erotic as watching his eyes as he enjoyed his power over her.

"Please, please, please," she begged for hands or mouth or tongue or **anything** except this slow pressure that wasn't doing anything other than coiling her tighter but would never get her off. Finally, she slid her own hands down to her breasts and watched as his eyes got darker. "Fuck yes, play with those titties. Show me how you like it."

Trying not to close her eyes when he added a roll of his hips, she started shaking. It wasn't going to take her much more. As if he knew that, he smiled slowly and pulled away. "Noooo, Happy, please," she sobbed.

"Patience girl, there's no rush here," was murmured into the dark room. Suddenly his mouth was back on hers, tongues dancing, while she wrapped her legs around his hips and rubbed against the bulge in his jeans. Dragging her nails across his back, she realized he had a spot on the back of his neck that made him hiss and arch against her. Then she was hissing as he ran his tongue down her neck and started swirling it around her nipple. Breathing hotly against the nub, he teased all around it until he felt her arching against him.

Taking one of her hard nipples into his mouth, sucking and biting gently, Happy shuddered as he felt her buck her hips against him again. Wanting to be inside her, but wanting to draw this out, he pressed his dick hard into her and listened to her breath stutter as he continued to work over her tits with his mouth and hands.

Hearing her moan his name, he hummed against her and felt her hands spasm on his shoulders. As she slid them up to his head, she pulled him away from her body so she could look in his eyes.

"Happy please, I promise we'll play more soon, please let me come, please. I need you."

Closing his eyes briefly as those words made his dick throb and his hands twitch to rip the rest of her clothes off, he took a deep breath and brushed a hard kiss against her swollen mouth, groaning when she ran those nails down his chest and tweaked his nipples while she sucked on his lip.

Sliding back down the bed, Happy didn't say a word as he unbuttoned her jeans and drew them down her long legs. He knew he had been teasing and holding her on the edge. Sitting back on his heels, he stopped and looked at her. _She's fucking gorgeous. That athletic body wrapped in soft golden skin with tiny black lace panties taunting him._ He could smell her spicy scent mixing with the apricot that always seemed to be on her and dropped his forehead to her belly.

Gaining control over himself, he gently reached out and picked up one of her smooth legs, running his lips and fingers all along it, making note of the way she shuddered and her hips twitched when he touched certain places. Getting back to those tiny panties, he leaned down and pressed the flat of his tongue against her, holding her hips down and growling when the jerk she made threatened to dislodge him. Wiggling his tongue a couple times, he pulled back a bit when he felt her body start to tighten.

Swallowing heavily, he pressed wet kisses to her flat belly, feeling the muscles tremble, tracing a couple of small scars with his tongue. Leaning back, he drew the little panties down and off, before smiling darkly at her.

"I like it."

Leaning up on her elbows, she watched as he took one of his big hands and ran it down the very small area that she still had hair on. As he rested his palm flat against her and used his thumb to sweep up and down her slit, he kept his eyes on hers. Twitching and crying out, she fell back on her back and went back to begging. A moan catching in her throat when he flicked his thumb against her clit on the next pass, Rachel arched and tried to tug him closer with her feet.

Taking pity on her, Happy leaned down and slowly parted her with his fingers. Blowing softly and smiling at the cries he could hear echoing in the room, he used the tip of his tongue to run up from her hole to her clit. _Goddamn she tastes good. I haven't done this in fucking years._ Taking her clit between his lips, he slowly applied suction until her hips were shaking against his face and hands and then started pulsing the suction while pressing his tongue against her. Sliding two fingers deep, he crooked them just a little as he dragged them in and out and then hummed against her clit.

Screaming, Rachel, after months of anticipation, and two years without sex, came apart. She couldn't even have said how he got naked, but the moment she could finally focus on something other than piecing her mind back together, she made a very happy sound low in her throat. Leaning up to kiss him, tasting herself in his mouth, she slowly positioned herself and then flipped him over before he could brace.

"My turn," she said happily. Twining their fingers together, Rachel pinned his hands to the pillow. _Yeah, what was that you said? Patience?_ Distracting him by rubbing her hands and body against him, she picked a spot high enough on his neck for a collar not to cover it, and then sucked and licked and bit gently at it until she knew that he was marked and he was groaning and shifting restlessly under her. _Mine._

Tracing his body with her fingers, she smiled smugly as she slowly worked her way down his chest with her mouth. Biting down gently made his hands clench around her hips and pull her body down tight against his. Concentrating on the places that made him groan and growl and twitch against her, she spent time tracing his abs with her tongue, while rubbing her breasts against his dick. Looking up at him, she could see Happy staring intently at her, mouth slightly open as he breathed heavily.

As she slid the last few inches down, she made sure that his dick rubbed every inch of her, letting the soft skin rub hotly against her cheek. She figured she wouldn't get him to beg, stubborn fucker, at least not tonight, but when she pulled back a bit, his eyes were hot and dark and filled with something she couldn't define. Then a thought struck her.

Clenching her teeth and closing her eyes at the thought of him with someone else, she had to ask. "Can I do this? Is it safe?"

Reaching out and cupping her chin, he said softly, "Yeah little girl it is, or I wouldn't have let you anywhere near me with that gorgeous mouth. I've always wrapped up. I always will if you want me to."

Dropping her eyes, she shook her head, "We'll talk about that later – tomorrow, something. Until we do, yes please." _At least recapturing a mood with a man is easier than a woman._ "Now, where was I?"

Giggling softly as he moved her head to the exact position where it was before, she reached out a hand and lightly traced the head, bringing her wet fingers to her mouth to taste him. "Fuck Rach, don't tease," he groaned out. Wrapping her hand around the base of his cock, she slowly lowered her mouth over him, just breathing hotly, until his hips suddenly jerked up as his control faltered. Waiting until the jerk, she used the same motion to close her mouth around him and suck.

"Fuuuuuuck!"

Looking down the length of his body, he saw another fantasy he had come true. Her pretty lips, wrapped tightly around his dick, while he stroked in and out of her mouth. Having her eyes capture his and tell him that she knew exactly what this was doing to him made him growl and twitch inside her mouth. Fisting his hands in her hair, he fought his instincts to push her down and fuck her face.

He was moving way too much for her to attempt to deep throat, but she used a hand to slowly pump while she let her teeth lightly scrape and her tongue curl, getting another moan and hiss, before dipping her head and moving it up and down. A suck on the upstroke and a twist of her wrist as she was pumping the bottom half of him and within a couple of minutes, she had reduced her big strong dangerous man to a seething mess. _Of course I'm punishing myself here too. Fuck._ She could feel her juices being smeared on her inner thighs as she squeezed them tightly together to appease the throbbing.

Half out of his mind, Happy suddenly had one driving thought. Find the condom and be buried as deeply inside Rachel as he could get. Tugging her head up with the hands he had wrapped in her hair, he waited until she swiped her mouth and then pulled her up. Grabbing the condom from where he stashed it when he was taking his jeans off, he quickly rolled it on as he rolled her beneath him.

As he leaned into position, he took a long slow look at her. Her short hair was a mess from his hands, her eyes were so blown they looked solid black, her lips were swollen and darker both from being wrapped around his dick and his hard kisses, her nipples tight and erect, and even in this light he could see that her pussy was glistening. Balancing on an arm, he put the other one behind her neck and gripped.

"Mine," he stated gutturally. As he said it, he surged deep. Rachel immediately shrieked his name, even as she begged him to keep moving and clamped down on him. Gritting his teeth against the urge to just pound until he came, he listened to her body as it told him what it wanted. Pushing her higher and higher, he could feel the nails on his back tighten and draw blood just as he felt the first fluttering of her pussy walls. Gripping her hips tight with his hands, he growled low. _Fuck she makes the best noises._

"Oh girl, let me feel it. Let me feel you come all over my dick. Do you know how many times I've thought of this?" Tipping her head back, he made sure she was looking in his eyes then lowered his voice while grinding his pelvis against her clit on each stroke, "Come for me Rachel. Now."

When her eyes slid shut and her entire body went rigid, he let go of his control. She was already so tight and now she was coming so hard it felt like she was strangling his dick. Driving deep over and over he finally slammed forward with a shout as she screamed one last time.

"Holy shit." Happy could feel his entire body trembling. Trying not to crush her, he shifted slightly. He heard her moan and felt her pussy spasm weakly. "Fuck Rachel." Lifting his head from where it had fallen against the side of her head, he looked around and then smiled at her. "Bed's not on fire. Guess we'll have to try again."

Rachel slowly opened her eyes and tried not to laugh, "That's a damn shame. It was such a hardship the first time." Holding back another moan when he slid out and took care of the condom, she lazily pointed at the waste can next to the bed. Eyeing him, she made a decision, "I have tomorrow off, so I don't have to be up early. If you'd rather stay here than ride back, you're more than welcome."

Happy wondered when he had last felt like this. His life wasn't really any different, he knew that. One fuck, even a glorious fuck, doesn't change shit. But he was so damn content right now. Like nothing could bother him. When she told him he could stay, he didn't even think about it. Rolling her on top of him, he tugged the covers down, then let her fall to one side of him, with her mop of messy hair resting on his chest while he covered them up and wrapped his arm back around her hip.

Smiling softly when she felt him drop off into sleep, Rachel pressed a soft kiss to the snake underneath her head. Whispering softly, she said, "Thank you."

Eyes that had opened when she moved, closed again as he smiled.

* * *

**Next up - Time passes, Rachel makes a mistake, and Gemma eavesdrops  
**


	11. Chapter 11

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 11**

When he woke up Friday morning, Happy needed a few seconds to remember where he was. Stretching and looking around, he wondered how long Rachel had been up. The light coming into the bedroom looked like it was mid-morning. Yawning as he went into the bathroom, he chuckled softly at the note he saw on top of a towel that she had laid out for him.

_Dear Sexy Beast,_

_Unfortunately I don't have many of those manly things you probably need. I do have a spare toothbrush and shaving stuff, they're on the counter._

_The Exhausted Girl Who Was Woken Up 3x  
P.S. That was not a complaint. =)_

Taking care of his business and enjoying the unexpected luxury that was her huge shower, he was as cheerful as he ever got when he walked towards the living areas. Patting Dog, because he refused to call him a sissy ass name, on the head, Happy followed his nose to the kitchen. Leaning against the doorway, knowing she was usually so alert, he enjoyed seeing her unaware of him while she swayed to jazz on the radio.

"Fuck!" Rachel did not expect him to be standing there. When he laughed at her, she mock glared and waved towards the coffee pot. Pulling another set of cookies out of the oven, she slapped at his hand when he reached. "Hands off, these are for the 4th of July, Gemma is a fuckin slave driver. I wish I could remember why I became friends with her. Breakfast is either eggs or pancakes, both with sausage. Your choice."

Dropping a kiss on her head and getting coffee, he leaned against the counter and looked around. She really had a nice place. Happy wondered if he looked out of place with all of his tattoos and attitude in this big cheerful sunny kitchen with a pretty woman baking cookies and a dog sprawled all over his feet. Then he decided he didn't fucking care.

* * *

The next couple of months didn't see much of a change in Rachel and Happy's lives. Happy spent a lot of nights at her house and did eventually leave a bag of shit there to make it easier. She didn't laugh when he dug out his Kindle, but after hearing him gripe about how books should feel in his hand, she smiled and led him to her library. When she went to her Wednesday Shelter visits, Happy gritted his teeth and didn't say a word about escorting her. She still had lunch with Tara and visited with Gemma and Luann and stole Abel on a regular basis. He still hung out at the clubhouse and rode down to see his Ma every week.

They had a **lot** of sex. In a **lot** of places. She told him if he got tested, she'd nix the condoms since she couldn't get pregnant. Then she showed him her collection of erotica and porn. He slowly showed more emotion around her and she slowly started to trust him not to hurt her. He still didn't talk much and she still teased him. Neither minded. She stayed stubborn and so did he.

They argued quite a bit, but never about the club or what he did. He went on the road and came back. She did her job and lived her life. Peanut decided having another male around was the bee's knees, even if he did have to start answering to Dog too. The cats decided they hated him, unless no one was looking.

Sometimes they would laugh at the fact that their life together was ending up as one big compromise, since it seemed like they were always negotiating. She got an honest to god belly laugh the day she told him during an argument that even her pets fuckin compromised with him. She won that fight.

Neither of them mentioned the change in their relationship to anyone else.

* * *

She didn't know why she hadn't told anyone, other than the fact that she enjoyed the secret at first. After a few weeks, she realized that he hadn't really told anyone either. They were both private people, so it didn't mean anything. Then Tara asked during one of their Monday lunches if she would go to a party at the clubhouse on Saturday with her, because the Nomad President was coming to town with some other charters.

Knowing that the Nomad President was also one of Happy's friends, she did wonder why he hadn't mentioned it. Unfortunately he was on the road until Friday and she would rather not have that kind of conversation over the phone, during her nightly 'I'm fine, no one killed me today' call that he insisted she make, where she couldn't see his face. _I wonder if he knows I still roll my eyes every time I dial._

_He's not ashamed of me, there's a reason. He never was before, fuck he practically made me come against my car in the parking lot during business hours. I just need to ask him._ By Thursday, Tara had eventually nagged her into going, saying she needed someone to hang out with since Jax would be circulating, so she definitely needed to talk to Happy before then.

Gemma and Tara had been suspicious when they couldn't get Rachel to talk about her date with Happy or anything else to do with him. All Rachel would say is that they decided to be friends and get to know each other. _Which is technically not a lie. _She was positive no one had the nerve to ask him directly, but she kept getting innuendo about how much calmer he seemed and that he sure was gone a lot and when he was there, how he wasn't with a different croweater every night. She could have gone without being reminded that it wasn't always that way.

* * *

Happy was exhausted. He had planned on getting in late Friday, but heading over to Rachel's anyway. It wasn't always easy to keep his word not to fuck around on the road, but he had. But, that also meant that he was irritable as fuck right now. His Friday night arrival had become early Saturday evening. When he pulled into the lot, he suddenly remembered Quinn was in town too. Fuck, he wasn't going to get over to her place tonight either.

He was happy Quinn was here though. Clay and Jax were practically rabid at each other lately. With the exception of Tig and Opie, both of who were still kissing Clay's ass, the entire charter was trying to smooth shit over. Jax had brought Rachel's custom bike idea to the table and managed to squeak it through with one vote to spare. Happy knew that wasn't the only thing she suggested and hoped Jax left it alone for awhile.

Clay was really riding her involvement in the club hard. Apparently in addition to Jax, she had given Juice some security ideas that he had to fuckin tell Clay were hers. Juice was just trying to praise her, but shit. He knew Clay had tried to give Gemma an order to stay away from Rachel and she told him to kiss her ass in the middle of the clubhouse. He didn't hear what Clay said exactly, but he could take a few good guesses based on Gemma's reaction.

The shit with Zobelle and the Nords and Hale and Stahl was all churning as well. Happy wasn't sure how much longer they could ride this edge without wiping out. Quinn being in town offered some outside counsel to the Pres and VP and gave Happy a way to shield Rachel from any fallout. He couldn't even act pissed that Jax was going to Rachel, because she wasn't his old lady. He liked that she was a smart bitch who got things done, but there were too many eyes focused on her, made him uneasy.

* * *

Frowning, Happy hung up the phone. Rachel had told him yesterday she needed to talk to him when he got back, but he rolled in and went directly to Church. Seems Zobelle's boys had gotten tired of waiting and started picking fights, trying to make the club jump into shit without looking. Jax was being smart, telling the table they had to play this cool, do some research.

He missed Clay's face when Juice floated the idea of having Rachel look some things up since she had access to different shit and knew numbers better than he did, because he was staring at Juice incredulously. He did hear the no that was snapped across the table. Jax started to argue, then shot a glance at Happy and stopped.

After grabbing a shower, he tried calling, but got her voice mail. _She had sounded nervous … what the fuck did she want to talk about?_ Deciding to deal with it later, he thought a nap sounded like an excellent fucking idea.

* * *

Rachel wondered if she was doing the right thing. She wanted to support Tara, who had been dealing with a fighting Clay and Gemma and a fighting Clay and Jax, but she still hadn't spoken to Happy about this. Knowing he had a good reason not to talk about her to the club, because she was positive he wasn't ashamed or embarrassed, doing this without his knowledge made her nervous. She didn't want to ambush him or make him feel like she was forcing his hand.

Looking at her phone as she was getting ready to leave, she saw he had left her a voice mail. Smiling, she called him back, but had to leave a message. Cursing, Rachel realized she still ended up telling him over the phone … she should have just talked to him earlier. She made sure to stress in her message that she wasn't mad that he hadn't said anything and she understood if he needed to pretend tonight … they could talk about it later. Locking up, she headed to Jax and Tara's.

* * *

Two hours later, Tara was getting nicely drunk again. Rachel still hadn't seen Happy. Smiling at a few of the guys from Charming, she was spending a lot of time peeling drunk guys off her ass. Apparently they thought she looked like a new and improved croweater. Tara had helped in the beginning, but she and Jax had apparently argued and now she was drinking more seriously. Rachel didn't think she was unattractive, but in the last half an hour it was getting ridiculous. Gemma was floating around and seemed more on edge than normal, so she wasn't really much fucking help either.

* * *

Loud music dragged Happy out of sleep. Groaning, he stretched and started to head out to the party. Saying hi to Quinn, drinking a few beers and shooting some pool sounded like a good fucking plan right now. _A better plan would have included fucking Rachel before the party._ Remembering the voice mail, he grabbed his phone and listened to his messages.

_Oh Jesus Christ._

Grabbing his kutte, gun, and keys, Happy walked quickly out to the main clubhouse. Making sure none of his thoughts showed on his face, he nodded hello to a few people while he kept scanning for Rachel. _She has to be so fuckin tiny, how the fuck am I going to see her?_ Taking the beer from Chucky, he casually leaned against the bar and decided that he'd just have to ask Tara or Gemma if he didn't find her soon.

* * *

Rachel was not having a good time. Somehow, she had gotten separated from Tara, who was too drunk to notice, and gotten pinned in a corner by two hulking brutes that reeked of alcohol and body odor and who wouldn't stop touching her. She had tried standing up to them, pushing past them, and even explaining what she was really doing here. They were either too drunk to care, or didn't care anyway.

Starting to get scared now, which pissed her off, she realized that there was no way someone could see her back here with the way they were standing in front of her. _So no rescue coming Rachel … you'll just have to deal with the repercussions later and hope Happy doesn't get in trouble. He won't mind me hurting them … probably … but I think he will be mad that I'm in this situation. Fuck._

_There's no way to handle this that isn't going to get you hurt too. There are two of them and they're too fucking close, even with their reaction times slowed down._ Pulling on some of the rage she carried deep, she suddenly kicked out with one foot. She didn't get him square in the nuts since he moved at the last second, but it was enough to make him bend over so she could reach him. _I'll take it._ Cupping her hands, she slammed them against his ears and followed up by kicking his leg out from under him so he fell heavily on the floor.

The other guy made a grab for her and she twisted his arm, grabbed his beer bottle with her left hand and cracked him in the funny bone with it. _Being short sucks._ Snarling, she bit back a cry when he wrenched her left arm so hard it felt dislocated. Letting the momentum of his pull do the work, she let him pull her closer as she reached down and slammed the heel of her hand against his dick. She quickly slipped around the other side of him, away from the guy slowly getting up. Heading directly for the door, she ignored everyone around her.

* * *

Happy heard the commotion when the first guy fell. Catching a flash of red, his eyes went wide when he realized what was happening. As he watched her get yanked around as she fought back, he almost pulled his piece out and drilled the asshole. Seeing her slip out the door, he quickly walked after her as she squirmed through the crowd like an eel. He could shoot the motherfuckers anytime; he wanted to know what the fuck happened.

* * *

Gemma was sitting in the dark. That fuckin creepy white mask in the mail. Jesus. She should have shot that motherfucker. Trying to get control of herself, she wondered if she and Clay would ever recover from this shit. He was spending more time away from anywhere she might be and when they were together, they fought. She knew he was getting his dick sucked by someone nearby since she wasn't doing anything for him. _Fuck._

Hearing footsteps and heavy breathing go into the main garage, she really hoped whoever it was went the fuck away.

* * *

Rachel made it to a dark corner of the garage and kept her back to the crowd down below. She knew she was probably going to cry from the anger and stress and she refused to let anyone see her do it. Taking hitching breaths, she really wished she had her gun with her.

Happy was going to tear her a new one for this shit and she knew she deserved it. She doesn't know enough about this world to just assume she would be safe with Tara. She should have waited to talk to him. She definitely should have worn her knife, knowing that her small stature seems to make drunk men think she was a toy. She was not going to apologize for hurting them though. _Assholes._

"Rachel," Happy said softly with narrowed eyes, studying her body language. When she whirled around with wide eyes, poised to run, he tried to smile.

"Hey little girl. At least this time you're not pointing a gun at my chest."

Biting her lip, she looked at him, "If I promise not to point it at anyone, can I have your gun, please?" she asked desperately. "Please Happy."

Looking deeper and seeing how close to the edge she was in her eyes, he slowly said, "That make you feel better girl?" Pulling it out of his holster, he passed it over to her when she nodded. _She'd rather have a gun in her hand than a hug when she feels threatened. She'd rather prepare to kill someone and protect herself than take comfort. I don't know whether that's fucking amazing or sad._

"You wanna tell me what that was all about?" he asked after a few minutes, seeing her stop shaking.

"No, not really, I'm good with not," she said as she tried to evade. When he just stared at her, she scrubbed her free hand over her face. "You're going to be mad. You're going to be really mad. I'm not even sure what will piss you off the most."

Staring at her and fighting to keep his temper, he finally sighed and took his gun back. "I probably will be mad Rach. But you can't just not tell me shit, especially when it happens here. Besides, we haven't had angry or make up sex yet," he joked.

Leaning against the pillar, he pulled her back against his chest and kissed her temple. Draping his arms loosely around her, rubbing the shoulder that got hurt, he said, "Tell me."

* * *

Hearing Happy say something about Rachel pointing a gun at his chest, Gemma's first thought was that she'd misheard. Then Rachel asked for his gun … and got it. Watching Happy hand a woman his gun was one of the most surreal experiences of her life. Happy didn't let anyone touch his weapons.

_They've been hiding this. I knew something was going on, but I didn't think it had gone this far yet. He handed her his __**gun**__ when she was upset. He came after her instead of shooting someone when something happened inside – and he's keeping his temper while she talks. This is more than a casual relationship. _

Silently watching them, she realized she had always assumed, if she thought about it at all, that Happy would treat any woman like he did a croweater. When she had guessed that he liked Rachel, it was the tough girl that she focused on, since it seemed so much like him. Listening to them talk now, she thought maybe that wasn't all of it.

It was like there were two Rachel's. Neither of them seemed scared of him at all. One is a tough independent sassy bitch who is more than capable of kicking ass when needed, who liked a gun in her hand … but underneath that was this softer, more delicate girl who leaned against him and seemed to trust that he would hold her up until she could do it herself. Looking at how he held her, she kind of thought Happy needed that girl too.

* * *

Rachel was actually surprised he wasn't madder. Oh he was mad, furious even. Most of it seemed to be directed at the two bozos, who he mentioned would be easy to find later since she hurt them, but she got her fair share too, mostly for going unarmed where she knew it might not be safe. After he calmed down, he was quiet for a minute.

"You **do not** leave the house without your knife anymore," he ordered. "If you leave, you have it on you somewhere you can get to it. I know you carry the gun, but you don't always have that with you." She nodded, feeling guilty that he was so upset.

Rachel was really glad she was still facing away from him, because she wasn't sure if she would be able to stop herself from giving him 'please don't be mad at me' eyes. Knowing how he felt about manipulation, that wouldn't help.

"I'm sorry Happy, I'm **so** sorry." She dropped her head. _I hate apologizing when it was my own damn fault. When I knew better? Fuck-a-duck._ "I knew you had some kind of reason for keeping this quiet, because you wouldn't hurt me on purpose, and I shouldn't have come without talking to you even if I thought Tara and I would be together all night. Being armed never crossed my mind. It was stupid and I made a mistake."

Leaning his chin on her head, Happy closed his eyes. _So fucking happy I got that nap or this could have been bad. _Part of tonight was his fault, and he knew it. He hadn't wanted to tell her about some of the problems inside the clubhouse because he knew she'd feel responsible. Now he realized that if he had told her, she'd have known to stay away and this wouldn't have happened. He was also thinking she was going to be pissed at him when she figured out he was protecting her and withholding shit.

Turning her around, he lifted her head. "We'll talk at home, but some of this is on me girl." He spoke over her as she tried to interrupt, "People don't know you, don't know who you're with and yeah, that **is** on me because I didn't think it was any of their fucking business, but … it leaves you open game and I didn't consider that."

'_We'll talk at home' … huh … he called it home._

* * *

Quinn had seen part of the ruckus, but didn't put it all together until Happy came back with his little redhead. Something must have happened. Her eyes were wide and she looked nervous. When Killer leaned down and said something in her ear, Quinn watched curiously as she closed her eyes while nodding and then suddenly it was like she pulled on another skin. Her body relaxed and when she opened her eyes, she was smiling and confident. It was an impressive transformation because he'd swear she seemed taller too. Happy was looking murderously into the corner where those two idiots from SAMTAZ were blissfully unaware of the pain coming.

Seeing the surprise from most of the Charming crew when Happy made a very clear point by leaning down and kissing Rachel until she was gasping, he was guessing they had kept this quiet until now. Watching the news spread like a tsunami, with those two in the epicenter, Quinn strolled over and handed Happy a beer while greeting Rachel. Knowing how much his friend hated this kind of attention, he hoped his presence would help.

The grateful smile Rachel flashed him was nice too.

* * *

Curled up on one of the couches a few hours later, Rachel was watching Happy play pool with sleepy eyes. Her lips turned up in a faint smile, remembering the babble of apologies from the two guys who had trapped her. Happy made his point very clearly with his fists that they had greatly offended him by touching what was his. She thought about being pissed off by the way that was said, but then realized she'd be a hypocrite if she did. _If I'm his, then he's mine._

In fact, narrowing her eyes, there was some whore leaning against his arm right now. He didn't seem to notice since he was turned partially away talking to Quinn, but when the girl reached out and started running her hands over him, Rachel went from calm and sleepy to pissed off and ready to kill in a flash.

Standing up slowly, she locked eyes with the tart and walked over radiating menace. Her voice was quiet, almost dangerous, when she said, "Take your hands off of him."

When the bitch didn't move, she didn't bother looking up at Happy. If he was going to interrupt, he'd have done so by now. "Take your fucking hands off of him, or I will remove your hands from your body." Stepping into the whore's personal space, Rachel bitched to herself that she should have been born taller. "I'm going to give you a pass this time, because you're obviously stupid and slow. But you should leave now, before my patience is up."

When the bitch broke eye contact and stepped away, Rachel was almost vibrating with repressed rage. She heard Happy lay his pool stick down, say something to Quinn, and then she was being spun around. An entire conversation was held between their eyes as she let him turn her rage to almost primal lust. _Fuck, he's got a room here right?_ Rachel could feel how hard he was where he was pressing against her stomach. She always forgot how fucking turned on he got when she acted like that.

* * *

Happy knew as soon as the bitch leaned against his arm and he saw Rachel snap to attention in the corner of his eye how the next few minutes were going to go. Making sure not to smile, he leaned casually on his stick while watching Quinn shoot. Since he didn't discourage her, the girl started rubbing her hands on him. He was about to grab her hand when she headed for his dick, but before he could, Rachel was there.

And Rachel was magnificent. He was instantly back at the alley watching her kick ass. Barely able to focus on what she was saying, he waited until the bitch walked away and then spun his girl around. _Fuck, I gotta have her right now._ Watching her eyes, he suddenly bent down and threw her over his shoulder. He heard her say his name, but it had been a long week and a fucked up day, and then she went and pushed all his buttons at once. She could fucking deal.

Getting his door open and relocked, he slid her down and pressed her against the door and started undressing her quickly while he growled roughly, "Bed or door girl? This is going to be fast and hard either way."

"Bed." _ Oh god please._ Struggling to help him get them naked, she kept getting distracted by the way he was biting and sucking each area he uncovered. "Oh god, please hurry," she begged. She blessed him again for going to get tested for her, as he walked her over to the bed with one hand pulling at a nipple and the other stroking her firmly between the legs. She could barely stay upright when he growled in her ear that he wasn't going to give her any mercy, she'd have to just take it. She was pretty sure she was almost continuously whimpering.

Breathing harshly behind her, biting at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, he finally shoved her forward onto the bed so she was on her hands and knees. It wasn't painful, but he wasn't shy about arranging her how and where he wanted. Squeezing and rubbing his hands over her ass, she started pushing back against him and making desperate noises while he ran his thumbs up and down her slit before spreading her with his hands.

Bracing herself, she choked back a scream of shocked pleasure when he slammed his full length inside her and held her tight against his hips. He tugged her head back by the hair and demanded, "No, you don't get to hide those noises from me. I want to hear you girl." She squeezed her internal muscles tight and arched her back, hearing him groan thickly while taking her hips in a harsh grip and putting his strength behind each thrust.

She lost track of how long they took the frustrations of the night out on each other, but by the end, she was aching and sore and her muscles were trembling. _Not that I'm complaining, fuck no. Jesus. I wonder if I have a voice still? I refuse to be embarrassed that people had to have heard. Not my fault Happy is a sex god and turns me into a screaming gibbering fool._

Turning her head so she faced him from where she lay face down on the bed, she grinned and told him in a husky tone, "So I almost want to have women pushing up on you just to reap the rewards. Almost," she warned, eyeing him when he grinned.

Slapping her lightly on the ass, Happy asked, "We staying here tonight or going home?" Propping herself up on her elbows she gave him 'the look'.

"We have a king sized bed with a very comfortable mattress, an awesome shower and coffee and food there. Don't tell me you haven't missed that shit while you've been on the road." She gave him a mischievous smile, "Besides, Peanut has missed you!" _Fucking Dog._

_It's good to be home._

* * *

Three weeks later, snuggling Abel while he napped in her arms, Rachel mused on the fight that had broken out the day after that party. When they sat down to talk and she realized that it was going to turn into a much bigger argument than expected, she had to put Peanut outside. They spent the next two and a half hours yelling, cussing and in general being huge assholes to each other. Sending him for a long shower while she went for a swim was an idea sent from Heaven itself.

She agreed to accept that he wasn't always going to be like he was at home. That when he was with the club, he had to be a certain way and she had to understand that she wasn't always going to be told things when she thinks she should be. She told him that he had three faces ... ice, cold, and warm. He was icy when he was channeling Killer, cold was his normal setting where his reactions were very controlled, and warm behind the closed doors of the house where she saw 'her' Happy. She got distracted from explaining further because he suddenly pinned her to the couch and started kissing her.

He agreed to stop holding back information that directly affected her, unless he absolutely had to. She had other things she had wanted to win agreement on, but let it go for now. Stupid kissing. Completely wiped out, they still managed to fit in that make up sex before a nap. Still a little sore, she was grateful when he made it slow and sensual and kissed each of the bruises he had inadvertently made the night before.

That was the night he told her about the Sons running guns for the Real IRA and Ireland, and about some of the problems in town right now, like Zobelle and Hale and some ATF bitch with a hard on for them. She's still not sure why he just stared and then laughed when she mentioned that it sounded like it would be easier if he just shot Zobelle. It seemed like a great idea to her.

It was the night that she told him she loved him. He told her he wanted her to meet his Ma. _She knew that was his way of saying, 'I love you too'. _

It was also the night he moved in.

* * *

**Next up - Rachel has the day from hell while Happy is out of town **


	12. Chapter 12

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 12**

Happy had a feeling he was going to regret leaving town. Rachel didn't seem to feel it, or at least she didn't show it. When he said he had to fly out to NY for a special job, she made sure he had everything he needed packed, took him to the airport and kissed him goodbye.

They had never really brought up what he did again after that first night, not in detail, when he had talked about it in the silence and darkness of the bedroom, but she tended to his wounds and admired his new smiley's and got bloodstains out of his clothes just as easily as she dealt with the grease from engines – and she did it with a smile and a kiss. Only Rachel.

He went over her security with a fine tooth comb, telling her to have the gun and knife with her at all times, to take Dog with her whenever she could, to make sure shit is locked up … until finally she had that look in her eye that told him she was going to shoot **him** if he said anything else about it. His girl was tricky; you could only push her so far unless you wanted to fight it out.

Sitting back in his seat, high above the Midwest, he closed his eyes and hoped that the lecture she gave him all the time about how she could take care of herself proved true. _She better fuckin take care of herself._

* * *

Rachel was a bit unnerved. Her day had started well enough, even if it felt like the house and bed were terribly empty when Happy was gone. She had mixed up her routine, and even put Peanut on patrol before she left, something she rarely did in Charming, in order to appease Happy's paranoia. She cancelled the lunch she and Tara always did on Mondays. She knew he had felt jumpy about leaving her for this trip, even if he pretended he wasn't. _Like it's normal to tell me to carry my gun at all times or making sure I have his normal prepaid, the NY clubhouse, Jax's, Quinn's and his mother's numbers in my phone._

Sitting in her office, staring at the woman in front of her, she wondered how he knew something was going to happen. _Sex god and ESP. Asshole is lucky I love him._

"Agent, while I appreciate your visit, I'm not exactly sure what I can help you with. Do you perhaps need some consulting work done on the side for a personal venture?" Rachel's voice was flooded with dry sarcasm as she pretended to check her phone while setting it to record the conversation. Tara had told her a story once at lunch that made her think it would be wise.

"I think we can help each other Miss Taylor. I know you're involved in some of the Sons of Anarchy's financial dealings professionally and that you are an upstanding citizen of this country. I wanted to inform you that I'm very close to closing their gun running down, but I wanted to give you the opportunity to work with me. I think we can both agree that making sure that there are fewer guns on our streets is important to all of us," her voice filled with false patriotism. _Pfft, really? You think that will work?_

"Hmm. I see that you're under the impression that I do work for that organization. I am terribly sorry, but you seem to be misinformed," she replied as she waited for the Agent's next volley.

Agent Stahl raised a single plucked eyebrow and said disbelievingly, "Do you really expect me to believe that you are not aware that Teller-Morrow Automotive is simply a front for the Sons of Anarchy? I know you're a smart woman Miss Taylor, ignorance isn't really your style is it?"

Rachel smiled sweetly, "You flatter me Agent Stahl. While I do appreciate the compliment, I can assure you that the custom motorcycle business I helped Mr. Teller set up is completely legal. While it is possible that there are members of the Sons working in or near the business, my involvement ended when the company was organized. I'm afraid I really cannot help you," she said firmly. _I can do this all day if I have to bitch._

"I see. Well that's too bad," gathering her things, she started to get up, but there was an air of anticipation around her. "I suppose part of it is that you yourself are involved personally with a Son, isn't it?" _Seriously did you think I didn't think you knew that?_

"My goodness, you do get around, don't you," she smiled, hoping she took that the way Rachel meant it. "It actually is true that I'm involved with someone who does belong to the motorcycle enthusiasts, the Sons of Anarchy." She stopped talking then, because she wasn't giving this bitch anymore information that she didn't already have.

Agent Stahl looked down at the folder in her hands and tsk'd. "I'm really quite surprised at you Miss Taylor. You're involved with someone who has both multiple aggravated assault, gun and attempted murder charges, some that were even convictions. You are a respected member of the international accounting community, with contacts in some very interesting places in many countries. I'm not sure why the hell you're in this little town doing audits. Still, you do have a good reputation. Would you really throw your entire career away on this trash?" With that, she threw the folder onto Rachel's desktop, letting one of Happy's mug shots spin out.

Giggling and then giggling harder when the bitch looked surprised and affronted. "Agent Stahl, while I appreciate your concern, it reminds me of my daddy in fact, I am a grown woman who will make her own choices. I understand that you are trying to do your job here, but please," Rachel's voice dripped down into disappointment at her tactics, "threatening me with losing my reputation? Do you know how many of those 'contacts' owe me for something? Believe me; my professional reputation will be fine."_ Of course I'm going to have to call in some of those same favors to make that happen._

Pausing, she studied the woman's face and decided a threat of her own was in order. "Do you know why my nickname was Sniffer when I did all that international work, Agent Stahl?" she asked as she stood up. When she shook her head, Rachel smiled mockingly.

"In my case, it refers to an accounting and information bloodhound. What I would do, was gather all sorts of little pieces of information from many different sources. Then I'd ask myself what didn't fit, or fit too well … what intuitively was wrong with the picture. When I found a thread, I'd follow it. I seemed to be a natural at digging out all sorts of things."

Locking her blue eyes with the blondes, she gave her a steely smile. "I am retired from that line of work now of course, but you **really** don't want me to become curious about you Agent. You never know what I might find." Glancing at her watch and faking surprise, she said, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, but I have another appointment. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Just one more thing Miss Taylor. It says here in the information that I was given that you had a very difficult childhood. That not only did you have some unfortunate circumstances as a child, but there was also a terrible tragedy near your home when 3 teens were gunned down. I don't understand, having been so closely touched by gun violence why you wouldn't be more willing to work with me," the Agent said with a smirk. Clamping down on every single emotion she had, Rachel gave her a small smile.

"Again, so sorry, but I do have an appointment. Oh! Don't forget the folder that you dropped." She paused, "It's really not Happy's best side. I prefer him from the right, don't you agree?" Rachel mocked.

"Also Agent Stahl," she said, her voice going quiet and dangerous, as the woman got to her doorway. "If you ever call Happy trash again to my face, I will find a way to dig up and use every piece of dirt I can find on you and your entire family."

Letting her voice go back to sweet, she finished. "Have a wonderful day and thank you so much for helping to keep this great country of ours safe." She shut the door softly. _Do not slam the door._

Sitting down, she rested her head on her forearms. _He's going to be insufferable to live with when he finds out he was right. Damnit._ Reaching over she turned the recording off and tapped her nails on her desk. She did have that contingency plan, but she didn't really want to start that ball rolling. It would mean cutting a lot of ties that could still be useful.

Deciding to wait, she leaned back in her chair and pondered if the statement about the shooting had a deeper meaning. _Is someone suspicious? Surely not, it's been over 20 years; I doubt the evidence is even good anymore considering how low tech our little town was. Maybe it was just a way to work in that dig about my childhood?_

* * *

Jax looked up from where he was playing with Abel when his cell rang. Scooting around on the floor, he managed to grab it before it stopped ringing. "Yeah?"

"Jax this is Rachel Taylor. I am terribly sorry to bother you, but I have something that you should probably hear. Normally I would give it to Happy, but he is out of town at the moment," a voice responded.

He couldn't place it, but she sounded different but like it was familiar. Then he remembered the icy formality she had used on him once when he pissed her off. So whatever this was, she was mad about it. Jax suddenly decided it was a very good idea to hear whatever she had.

"Is it something you can tell me, or do we need to meet?" he asked.

"Hmm. I had a visit from an ATF agent. I recorded the conversation," she said flatly. "It's on my cell phone, since that's all I had access to on split second notice. I could try and email Juice the file, but it's probably best if I bring it to you and he can download it off of my phone if he needs to."

"Yeah a'right, can you meet me at T-M in 45 minutes? Neeta is coming for Abel in 30." Jax wanted to put his fist through the sliding glass door he was now pacing in front of. That ATF bitch is like superglue, no matter what they do, they can't seem to shake her.

"Fine. I will see you then." Wincing at the snap in her voice, he wondered why Happy had to be out of town now of all times.

* * *

Pulling into the T-M lot 45 minutes later, she automatically scanned the bikes and realized with a start that Happy was going to be annoyed. Since he wouldn't be here to run interference, he had specifically asked her to avoid Clay. _Well he'll just have to deal with it. I'm sure he'll have other things to vent his temper on, other than the fact that I ran into Clay yet again._

Giving Jax a tight smile, she waved her phone, "Where do you want to do this?"

"Gimme a sec and let me grab Juice, he's in the garage today." Nodding, she watched him stride up to the garage. Her eyebrows rose when he returned with Juice, Bobby, Chibs and Opie, a huge bear of a man she had only met recently. Flashing them all a smile, she didn't say a word until they nodded at her.

"Gentlemen," she kept it short and polite. Some of the looks they were wearing were making her uneasy. Did they know why she was here or did they think she went along with the Agent? _I know they don't know me, but surely they don't think I'm stupid enough to be living with Happy if I was going to turn on anyone. I mean c'mon, who would be that dumb?_

* * *

Jax led the guys who had been in the garage back down to the clubhouse. If he was right, they were going to end up in Church after listening to this. Happy's woman was smart as fuck, so if she thought they should hear it, then he was going to listen. She reminded him of his Mom and Tara sometimes. Ushering her inside, he realized that he needed to call Happy and see how he wanted her handled. She didn't have the crow, but he wasn't stupid either.

* * *

Half an hour later, as he finished running the recording yet again, Jax looked around at his brothers. Glancing out the window, he could catch occasional glimpses of Rachel's black and white business suit as she paced the clubhouse. She reminded him of a tiny pissed off kitten.

"It sounds like she got it all on there. I wanted all of you to hear it. To know what happened so that there isn't any bullshit like there was with Ope last year." Staring hard at Tig and then Clay, he made sure they understood that Rachel was off limits for this. _Fuck is she going to end up in danger from the club or just from Stahl? Stahl she can probably handle, but fuck. I __**can't**__ tell Happy about Donna, but if I don't tell him and Rachel gets hurt or killed and he finds out? He'll come after me, and he'd be right._

Bobby spoke up, "That was pretty impressive, the way she talked that bitch in circles." Chibs murmured agreement, "Little girl has stones."

"What does she want us to do about it?" Clay asked, indicating with his voice that there wasn't much they could do.

"I don't think she wants **us** to do anything. I think she's just letting us know. There was that part early where Stahl said something about almost being ready to close, but she could've been blowing smoke. Or she could be sniffing around Cameron's side of it." Jax glared at Clay.

Tig leaned back in his seat, "Look, it's good that she told us, but hey, she's not an old lady and she's not a friend of the club. So she's a girlfriend of some kind to Happy. We thank her for the info and send her home. Don't need to be any more than that."

"Agree," Clay said. "Anyone else got an opinion or anything else we need to discuss?"

After some talk about what hoop Cameron wanted them to jump now, everyone headed out. Jax wished Piney wasn't up at the cabin again. He didn't have the power to do anything right now except tell Rachel to be careful.

"I'll talk to her then, let you get home to Abel," smiled Clay. Not seeing any way around it, and knowing arguing wouldn't get him anyfuckingwhere, he decided to call Happy when he got home. _Fuck._

* * *

When Clay called her into the room that had a gorgeous conference table in it and motioned for her to take a seat, she was both wary and uneasy. "That was some quick thinking you had … startin that recording," he said.

"Thank you." _Wanna give me my phone that you're twirling on the table so I can record this one too?_

"Yeah … quick. We wanted to let you know, we really appreciate it. It's real good that you know to come to us." Rachel was starting to get uncomfortable. It was like he was implying, but not implying something. He wasn't being clear at all. Catching her phone when he slid it across the table, she stopped it with one hand, her thumb hitting the shortcut key on the side for last function. With any luck, that was still voice recording. She wasn't sure what Juice had done last on it.

"Well, you take it easy, ok? Make sure you lock up and all. Hear you have a dog too." Rachel stopped her eyes from narrowing at the last second in response to his tone. _Please be recording, because that was a fucking threat said sideways._

"Yes, I do, he's a very well trained guard dog. I'm sure I'll be just fine, I'm a very good shot and with Happy out of town, I'm quite jumpy. I'm actually hoping I don't shoot anyone by accident," she faked a light laugh. _I don't know what exactly you're saying or why, but I'm not helpless._

"That's wonderful, I'm sure Happy will be 'home' soon. Although, he really already is, since he is Nomad. Every charter is his home." Clay's blue eyes were locked on hers. "It will be a shame when he leaves Charming; I know you two are friendly." _You know we're more than that asshole._

Swallowing, she said carefully, "I know he's been very pleased that Charming has been so accommodating so that he can be near his mother. He loves his brothers and his club." _Fuck that was low. So what, I don't fall in line and you send him away or something? Not only from me, but from his aging ill mother?_

"And we love him too." Clay paused and then sat up like remembering something. "Say, on your way home, could you do me a favor? I live in the opposite direction and I know you drive right by," he asked casually.

"Um sure, if you need me to," she replied. _Is he just demonstrating his ability to tell me what to do since I'm pretty much stuck if I don't want to get Happy in trouble? How the fuck did coming here end up like this? Clay is good at this shit – or maybe he just has better cards?_

Clay gave her a big smile with lots of teeth. "If you could stop by Impeccable Smokes in town and have them send a box of my regular to my house? I'd really appreciate it. If you go in and tell them who you are and that you're there for me, they should take care of the rest. Gemma forgot again." _You want me to run an errand for you? Nut uh. You want something else, but I can't see around the corner._

"Of course, I'd be happy to. I can even grab some dinner at the deli next door and take it home, so that works out for both of us," she smiled at Clay. _Maybe if I sound like I want to do it, he won't win?_

* * *

Staring at the storefront of Impeccable Smokes, Rachel verified that she had been able to record the conversation with Clay. There was something niggling at her about this place. Something someone told her that bothered her. Unfortunately the day had been very draining and her brain was twisted around so much that she just couldn't figure it out. Finally she decided that she should just get it over with and left the car, making sure she had both weapons accessible. _I'm not going to be stupid, Clay wanted something._

As she stepped in and turned slightly to pull the door shut gently, she caught sight of the sign in the window: Ethan Zobelle, Proprietor. Her mind went completely blank and then began babbling and spewing questions at her.

_FUCK. Why would Clay send me here? I can't possibly do what he asked me to do, right? Or is he sending a message to this guy by me doing this and if I don't do it, then he'll be mad at Happy? Life was a lot fucking easier when I only had to worry about screwing mine up._

Deciding she wasn't being left with a lot of options here, especially considering there was a creepy man with what she swore was a Nazi tattoo on his throat staring at her, she slid her hand down her purse strap to where her phone was clipped. Pressing the record button, she tried to make it look like she was just nervous and playing with the strap.

_I should just carry around a fuckin tape recorder. I use this function a lot for notes, but this is getting ridiculous. I hope I have enough memory._ As Rachel's eyes flicked away from the strange pale man nervously, not having to fake that, a silver hair man came out of the back smiling at her.

"Welcome to Impeccable Smokes! I don't think we've seen you in here before! It's always lovely to have a new customer, but I must say, you're a very pretty addition! I'm the Proprietor Ethan Zobelle and this is my associate A.J. Weston." The greeting was a bit too over the top for her. _God save me from salesmen. Flattery flattery everywhere, not a drop of honestly to be seen._

"Thank you, that's very kind of you. Actually I'm simply doing a favor for a friend of a friend since she couldn't drop in. It was on my way home," she smiled at him. _I can at least try to keep my name out of this. Has Happy really only been gone 24 hours? It's like the universe waited for him to leave me alone. And seriously, all in one day? What karma god did I piss off?_

"Oh of course, what can we do for you then?" He actually was very personable. If she didn't know what he was, she probably would have underestimated him.

"My friend needed to send a box of his regular cigars to Clay … Morrow." Halfway through Clay's name, she was pretty certain that this was going to be trouble for her somewhere down the line. _I don't even know … my mind is just blank. How the hell do I tell Happy about my day? What the fuck do I say when I know he's across the country and can't come back? What if he makes a mistake because this is distracting him?_

"Your name?"

Smiling tightly she said, "My friend's name is Gemma Teller-Morrow."

"Yes, it's good to know that Mr. and Mrs. Morrow are still happy with our products, but I need to note your name down here," he gave her a big smile. "Not that I don't believe you of course, but I just need it for our records, in case of any problems."

_Can I get away with a fake name? If he tries to look me up though, he'll wonder why I lied and dig deeper. He'll know by the way I'm dressed that I'm a professional in the area … and the area isn't that fuckin big. There is no official documentation that Happy lives with me, so my real name might be ok. I don't think many people in town connect us since we mostly stay at home when we're together. Why did his entire answer sound like I was supposed to know something that I don't know?_

"Rachel Taylor," she said, as she held out a hand, even if it was the last thing in the world she wanted to do.

"Ah yes, I believe you work for Dennings, correct? We were looking into changing our year end auditors and Greg mentioned you. Perhaps we'll meet soon to discuss that." _Only if Greg wants me to hang him from a ceiling fan by his tie._

"Of course, that would be delightful. I'm sorry, I need to be getting home, but it was nice to meet you," she offered. _I need to wash my hand._

Ethan Zobelle gave her a smile that made her shiver, "Yes, you too. You be safe out there." As she turned to leave, she noted that not once had Weston's eyes been anywhere but on her.

* * *

Sitting in her garage, Rachel started shaking. Picking her gun up out of her lap where she had placed it when she got back in the car, she went to go make sure her house was completely secure. Turning on the outside lights that she normally didn't use and putting them on a motion sensor timer, she tried to think of what else she could do.

Gun. Peanut. Locks. Motion sensor lights outside. Knives in various places around the house. Noisemakers on handles of important doors so that you knew they were being opened. Clothes that she could move in and sneaks on her feet, where they'd stay unless she was sleeping or showering. Reviewing again, she was satisfied. She had protection, warning systems and the ability to move fast if needed.

Sitting cross legged on the bed, Rachel stared at her cell phone and waited for divine inspiration to strike. Letting her thoughts drift, she idly wondered if it wouldn't be best for her to just leave town until Happy came back. _Wait WHAT? I don't fucking think so. You are not that dependent on him that you need him to save you, are you? That's ridiculous. Fuck that. So you're jumpy and today was weird and scary, and Happy's paranoia is apparently contagious – it doesn't mean that this is anything._

_You haven't even been formally threatened. Stahl made some remarks – he won't be able to help with that anyway. Clay ... well fuck, I don't know what to do about Clay, so maybe I'll dump that on him when he gets back, but Zobelle? The man never actually came out and said anything, he was just … slimy. And he had a super creepy friend. And yes his friend gave off a lot of vibes that made warning signals flare. But, I already suggested Happy shoot Zobelle as a solution and since the man is still alive, that obviously wasn't something the Sons wanted to do. _

_So. He'll probably know about Stahl before you get to him, the Sons information network is pretty quick. I explain about Stahl, say that Clay spoke to me and just suggested I watch my back … and then I dupe these recordings a few places and start researching. When he gets back, I'll have more information for him and the Sons to work with._

Rachel knew she was going to get in trouble for this. Happy had been very clear about sharing things that had to do with the Sons. On the other hand, there wasn't anything he could do that she could see. Telling him while he was in NY served no purpose and he'd be even more pissed off if she went to someone else about it before him. _Plus Sons are gossips, there is no way he wouldn't hear about it. _It could be dangerous if he were distracted on a job. He would need to hear the recordings. The thing with Clay … _I don't even know what to think about that._

She wasn't in any immediate danger, at least not that she could see. She was being careful, she had protected the house. She'd stay armed and watchful when she left.

* * *

When Happy's phone first started vibrating, he was not in a position to deal with it. He was sitting in a van wrapping duct tape around a guy's wrist. Tearing off a swath for the assholes mouth and slapping it on, he growled, "Shut the fuck up before I break your jaw." Leaning his head against the wall of the van, he snuck a peek at his phone a few minutes later.

What the fuck did Jax want? Jax knew he was in NY, he was there when Clay and Quinn told him about the trip. Why was he … fuck. _Rachel._

Lifting his head and staring at the man tied up on the floor with cold dead eyes, he wondered if shit was already going sideways.

* * *

Almost relieved when Happy didn't answer, Jax knew he'd call back when he could. He was really fucking hoping that by then Rachel will have checked in with Happy and he won't have to fuckin tell her man that he's only been gone a day and she's already in it. Kicking his sneakers off, he walked into the living room and smiled at his family.

Giving Tara and Abel a quick kiss, he remembered how he felt when Tara called him for help last year and he found her with a gutshot stalker in her bedroom. Maybe he'd check in with Rachel later … make sure she knew to call. He still remembered what she did for them at CaraCara, even if Hap couldn't ask, he could offer, based on that.

* * *

Rachel was supposed to check in every night at 9pm after she finished her run, even if Happy couldn't answer, so he'd see that she called. He wanted to know she was ok until he was able to call her back. The first time he'd been on a trip and tried to get her to call, they went around for an hour about it. Now she rolled her eyes, but she made the fucking call so he wouldn't worry.

He was uneasy enough to ask Quinn if he could swing by Charming while he was gone, but he wasn't going to be close enough. He'd wanted to ask Jax, but … fuck. Rachel wasn't an old lady. He couldn't ask. He had never thought of inking a bitch – as much as he liked things with Rachel, 15 years of watching brothers put ink on a woman who rarely lasted made you fuckin wary.

Leaning on a concrete wall away from the crowd after dinner, he lit up and dialed Jax. Jax probably just wanted to pass something along, and it wasn't even time for Rachel's check in yet.

"You called?" Happy growled.

"Yeah Hap … have you talked to Rachel tonight at all?"

"No, and she's not supposed to call til 9. Why?" Happy's voice was tight.

"Fuck. Gimme me a sec, need to go out back so I can talk." Now Happy was worried. What the fuck was going on?

"Shit sorry. Stahl dropped by Rachel's office today. Told her she was close to shuttin us down and that Rachel should jump in with what she knows about the Sons."

"She'd never talk," Happy said confidently. His girl may fight him on safety shit, but she was loyal as hell.

"Oh she talked, she fuckin talked circles around the bitch. It was amazing. She managed to record the entire thing on her cell. I had Juice email the file to you for your attention there so you can hear it. Fuckin brilliant. Stahl did drop some threats, but your girl countered with some of her own, so I think shits fine, just that Stahl has Rachel on her radar now."

Clenching his fist against the tree, Happy breathed out, "Fuck. Anything else?"

Jax grimaced a bit before admitting, "She did the right thing, called me and brought me the recording. But … "

Happy closed his eyes, "Clay patted her on the head and sent her home, yeah?" _Shit Rachel, I told you to go to the club, but I was hoping you could avoid Clay._

"Basically. He sent me home, said he'd talk to her. That was around 4." Jax paused. "Let me know if you need me to swing by. She did us a solid at CaraCara and never cashed it in. Just sayin." _Shit Yes, this is why he loved his brothers. He wasn't sure what was wrong with Clay lately, but this is the kind of brotherhood that makes all the other shit worth it. Jax knew he wouldn't ask, so he offered._

"Yea alright. I'll call if I do. Thanks." Hanging up the phone, Happy took a deep pull off his smoke. _She's fine. Bitch is an ATF agent, not like she's going to break in. Fuckin Dog would eat her anyway if she tried. Go listen to the recording and then call her._

Tossing his butt on the ground, he strode towards the clubhouse.

* * *

Pushing through the sweetbutts that were gathered by the door like piranha, and fondly remembering when he would have been dick deep inside one and not trying to figure out what a stubborn redheaded pain in the ass was up to, Happy called out to Tip, the intelligence officer.

"Tip, you get a file for me today from Charming?" he yelled.

"Shit yeah, almost forgot, want me to play it? Got my laptop in Church," Tip offered as he started walking.

Seeing that it was just Tip and Lou, the President, in here and not really wanting to wait any fucking longer to find out what the hell was going on with Rachel, he twirled his finger at Tip. "Play it." He knew Jax wouldn't have sent anything sensitive.

Leaning down and staring down at the tabletop, his lips twitched into a smile as Rachel somehow managed to say absolutely nothing while conveying a polite fuck you message. Lou had stopped digging through paperwork to listen.

Happy was suddenly really fucking glad they'd had all those uncomfortable talks when Stahl mentioned all the charges he had in his past. Even his girl could get tripped up by things if she didn't know it was coming. _I still can't believe she had the nerve to hand me a ten and tell me she was purchasing 100 words the day she made me tell her all my legal shit._

'Reminds me of my daddy' … god she has a sly way of getting her own. Lips twitching again, he lifted his head and stared over the table towards the bar. He could just see her sayin this shit, all cold and professional and how dare you tell me my business. Son of a bitch, Rachel threatened another federal officer, was she collecting agencies? He couldn't decide if she was ballsy or stupid. Jesus Christ.

Bitch brought up her childhood? Fuck. Remembering how upset she had been the night she had told him that shit, he growled a little. Nothing he could do about it from here.

There was no way to stop the slow smile spreading across his face when he heard her defend him. Jax was right, she was amazing. That low cold voice she uses when she's really pissed and dangerous always makes his dick twitch too. Wiping his face clean, Happy noticed Lou and Tip looking incredulously at him.

"What? My girl doesn't like it when people talk shit about me," he said with a straight face.

Flipping open his phone and heading to his room, he let it ring until she picked up.

* * *

Staring down at the phone that flashed up a picture of a smiley face with a bullet in the forehead and started belting out a cheerful rendition of 'If You're Happy and You Know It', Rachel took a deep breath and hit accept.

"Happy?" _I probably shouldn't play stupid here, that I don't know why he's calling early. Damnit Jax. _"Jax tell you about my visitor today?"

"Yeah, and then he sent me a copy of the recording. Rachel, you can't keep threatening federal fucking agents even if it is hot as shit," he teased.

Laughing, she twisted her fingers in the comforter, "She deserved it. As if **I** would be with trash, the idea is ludicrous. Has absolutely nothing to do with you, you know." Hearing him huff a little, she knew she managed to make him laugh, even if he wouldn't show it. It was like a game for Rachel, poking at him until she could get the guy he hid behind the Son and Killer to come out.

"You ok?" he asked her gruffly.

Smiling, she admitted, "Well I wasn't at first. Then she made me mad, that helped. Wasn't exactly thrilled when she brought some things up, but, yeah, I'm ok Hap." Teasing, Rachel said in a sultry whisper, "I used that voice just for you my beast."

"Evil bitch. I'll remember that for when I get home." He paused. "Everything else ok? Nothing going on that I need to know about?"

"Not really, pretty much normal for me other than that," she said carefully. _I didn't lie. Clay is twisty with me normally and I go into lots of stores._ "Did some errands after I left T-M." _If I'm doing the right thing, why do I feel like shit?_

"Ok girl. Tomorrow?"

Sometimes Rachel wished that he liked to talk more. His voice was soothing to her, when it wasn't turning her on, and she could use that right now. "Definitely, I'll call at 9 when I get back from my run." She paused and then said softly, "Hey Hap?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." _I'm sorry._

Happy's voice was quiet when he replied, "You too girl." _I can't believe I still can't pry the actual words out of his mouth, stubborn bastard._

Pressing end call on her phone, Rachel dropped her head onto her knees and went over, again, the reasons why had she decided this was best.

* * *

After making sure she was armed, she and Peanut headed out for their nightly run a little later than usual. Rachel had slightly adjusted her route before she left tonight. The new one kept her on streets with more traffic and included a pass each way of T-M. She could practically hear Happy yelling in her ear that she was being stupid, but she wasn't going to let some vague words make her afraid to live her life.

As she ran, she considered where she should start on getting information on Zobelle. He seemed to have a lot of power for a small business owner. It's not like Charming has a booming trade anyway for that kind of store ... smoke shack with a drive through maybe, but an upscale fine cigar and cigarette store? Ticking over the things she did know of the man, the associations with white power, she wondered where they made their money.

Corporations aren't real keen on putting their name on violent white separatist movements, hurts business with those folks who aren't violent racist assholes. Really cuts down on your customer base. Without knowing who the players were, she couldn't rule out private money, but this wasn't a typical group – more like comparing flower children with heroin addicts. _Something to check though._

Illegal means? Drugs, guns, slavery, prostitution, money laundering? She knew her friend Cyndy had told her once that the FBI tracks these groups closely and classifies them as cults. Why are they trying to push out a white motorcycle club? Because they happen to sell guns to the wrong color? Rachel could see attacking the buyers, but why would they threaten people they could convert? She knew Happy had said something about the Mexicans somehow being involved too, but wasn't able to pull it up.

Ok, so. We have some kind of public figurehead running a fairly upscale shop. We have an organization that seemed to be funded by private or illegal means. While they have stated goals, the way they're executing their plans leaves questions. _Maybe I'll contact Cyndy and see if she still has the number for that FBI agent she roomed with in college. If not, I can either hack or try calling in the favor Dave owes me in Jersey. Follow the money._

* * *

The week passed with Rachel doing more and more digging and getting more frustrated. She had found a stream she wanted to follow, but the money turned into a flood at an odd point and she couldn't keep a hold of the thread. She was very glad though that she hadn't contacted anyone at the FBI herself, since one of the tributaries seemed to have a federal government origin. After playing roulette with the alphabet agencies, she concluded that the FBI had the best odds. She did find some private investors, but nothing that would account for such large sums passing through their hands.

She had no more visits with Stahl thankfully. Rachel didn't see any Sons either. She heard a rumble occasionally, but she always had, she didn't live far from the main drag. She talked to Tara and Luann on the phone and returned a call from Gemma. She made sure to faithfully call Happy each night. She wasn't sure whether to be happy or scared when he told her he'd be home a couple days sooner since the job finished up early.

One thing that did scare the fuck out of her was the fact that suddenly she was seeing Weston everywhere.

* * *

Happy was tired. The bone deep tired you get after you push yourself too far and still can't rest. He was trying to sleep on the plane and couldn't seem to relax. Something was wrong with Rachel. He could hear something off in her voice; she seemed almost evasive at times. He had thought about asking her, but he knew that she'd just dig in her heels if he pushed. So instead, he made sure to ask questions that would tell him if she was in trouble.

It didn't work, he was still fuckin worried. Scrubbing a hand tiredly over his face, he remembered how much easier life was six months ago. Yeah he was on the road a lot, but he was good with his life. His responsibilities were to the club, his brothers and his Ma. Simple. The club and his brothers were a way of life, and his Ma got the rest. Good variety of tail then too. He might worry over his Ma's health, but that was it, and nothing he could really fix.

Now sometimes he felt like all he did was worry. Rachel was a tough chick, but this was a dangerous life. He had a reputation in the world and that meant his enemies knew him. Rachel was a weak point, just like Ma. He protected Ma as much as he could, but it was easier to keep her safe since someone would have to follow him to find her. Rachel wasn't hard to find at all and refused to live her life in a bubble of security.

He did love her, even if he refused to tell her. He was enjoying the different ways she tried to get him to say it. It was sexy when she was frustrated. They could set each other on fire with a look, and the sex was always fucking hot. He might miss fucking around on the road, but when he slid into his girl, it was worth it.

Happy knew that if he was going to be with Rachel he had to accept the worry and fuckin stress that came along with her, because it wasn't going to go away. She was stubborn and independent and smart. She would stand toe to toe with him at home without even thinking about it. She could look at his face and read him, even if no one else could, and if she didn't like what she saw, she called him on it. If they were in public, she bit her tongue until the door closed. They hadn't had a public argument since that day in the clubhouse before they started sleeping together.

She refused to let him tell her what to do unless he gave her a good reason. He had finally gotten her to promise that if he ever said please, she'd know that he really needed her to listen, that it was important in some way. They were almost always in the middle of 'discussing' something. Right now they were arguing about money. She had a lot of it, he didn't. They tabled it until a week after his trip. So far they hadn't hit an issue where one of them wasn't willing to bend even if the other refused.

So yeah, life was a lot fucking simpler six months ago. It also didn't have a tiny redhead who lived to tease and infuriate him, who never seemed to be scared of him even when he was furious at her, and had somehow changed his life so that when he was done at T-M or on a job, he actually wanted to go home. Home to his girl and the dog who had decided he was his best buddy and two cats who pretend to hate him in a house that's too big and entirely too cheerful.

But as he stared out the little fucking window at the desert miles below, he kept thinking about the uneasy feeling he had before he left.

* * *

Rachel knew that he knew she wasn't telling him everything. She was good at hiding things, but not from Happy. She didn't want to hide things from him anyway. _At least he didn't flat out ask, I didn't have to really lie. Would I have lied?_ She appreciated that he seemed to know when not to push her too hard.

He still wasn't happy with her, even if he wasn't pushing. He was quiet on the phone and more gruff than normal. She was caught between wanting to make him feel better and lessen the worry and protecting him from what she knew was going to hurt and anger him. She had tried to come up with a way of not telling him about Clay, but other than flat out lying to him, there was no reason for her to give to be in that store.

When she drove the car out of her garage on early Friday afternoon to go pick Happy up at the airport, she froze as she realized that across the street, standing there, just staring at her, was Weston. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," she chanted under her breath as she drove away as quickly as she could without making it look like she was running. This was the first time he had ever shown up near their home.

Pulling up to her lawyer's office, she went inside and signed the documents she had asked him to create earlier this week. Making sure there were two copies of everything, Rachel put each set into a manila envelope, thanked him and drove to her office. Making four copies of the raw research and the report she prepared, she then stopped by the bank quickly to slide a manila envelope, one packet of information and copies of the 3 recordings into her safety deposit box.

She knew the hug she wrapped him in when she saw him was a bit too tight, but he didn't say anything. He actually didn't say anything other than grunts period. By the time she pulled in the garage, she felt like a kicked puppy. Shoving that down and trying to pull up some patience, she remembered **why** she had done it this way. He was just going to have to see that.

Setting his bag down next to the couch, he leaned back and pinned her with dark serious eyes.

"Tell me."

* * *

**Next up - Rachel comes clean  
**


	13. Chapter 13

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 13**

Taking a deep breath, Rachel sat down in front of Happy on the coffee table. "Promise me that you'll listen to it all. Promise me that you will think before you act." Not letting her serious eyes leave his, she hoped he could keep those promises if he gave them.

Staring at her with narrowed eyes, he growled, "Rachel. Tell me what's going on. Now."

"If you can't promise, then at least agree that you'll try. This is going to upset you and I don't want you doing anything you could regret later. For me," she pleaded. _Please._

"Fine, talk."

Swallowing hard, Rachel began telling Happy about her Monday. Her entire Monday. She could see the rage rising in his eyes as she played him the conversation with Clay and told him how uneasy she had been. That she had tried to come up with a way to walk the line between being subservient as a girlfriend of a Son and protecting herself. That she didn't know about the store until she got there.

Happy had growled and yelled for awhile as he stalked around the room, reminding her that he had fucking told her to both avoid Clay and that he knew he had told her about that damn store. Then he got cold and quiet when he saw she was just sitting there patiently. "Fuck Rachel, there's more? You went inside the fucking store?"

Ducking her head, she bit her lip. _You knew this was coming, you knew he'd be mad. He's taking his anger out on you, but he's just worried, you know that._ "Yes, I did. I thought that Clay was simply asking me to do an errand to show me that he could tell me what to do. You had told me that he wasn't happy with the fact that Jax and Juice used my ideas, so I was hoping that going along with him would help smooth things over. I did know something was wrong, but … I'm not fuckin omniscient Hap, maybe I shouldn't have trusted him, but I didn't think this would happen."

She wanted to make a joke that he was the God, at least the Sex God, but beat the idea down. She might feel better trying to lighten the mood, but she was pretty sure he wouldn't find it as amusing. Taking another deep breath, Rachel explained about walking into the store and how she had seen the sign as she shut the door behind her. That she didn't know until then. That she didn't know what to do, did Clay want her to send this guy a message by being there somehow? She couldn't see how that would be the case, but what if she just didn't know something?

Playing the other recording and then explaining parts so he knew why she said what she said, she closed her eyes when she heard his fist hit the wall somewhere on the other side of the room. _And there's still telling him that instead of leaving it alone you dug into the man and his organization. Oh … and Weston._

Really wanting to be anywhere but fucking here, doing just about anything but what she was doing, she quietly stared at nothing, still sitting on the coffee table facing the couch, while he seemed to be trying to calm down. She wasn't a novice at dealing with angry men, it was best to be still and quiet sometimes.

Not even noticing the blood on his knuckles from where he had broken skin, Happy stared out the patio door. _This all happened in one day. Monday. And she didn't fucking tell me. Zobelle has had a week now to find her; she gave him her goddamn __**name**__. Clay. Why? There was nothing going on that would have been cause to send her in there that I know about. Even if she isn't technically my old lady, it was awfully fucking ballsy to send Rachel into that store. What did it get him?_

Reaching up and bracing his hands against the top of the door, he looked at the tree line at the back of the property. "What else." As she finished telling him about how she came home and immediately took security precautions, he felt a little better. Not a whole fucking lot, but he'd take it.

She explained that she didn't want to tell anyone before she told him, that she couldn't pinpoint any actual threats, just a lot of innuendo. That she never planned on not telling him, but there wasn't anything he could do from NY and she didn't want him worrying while he was so far away.

Turning around, he leaned against the wall next to the door. "You're leaving something out Rachel. Fucking tell me."

_Fuck._ It wasn't that Rachel didn't want to tell him the rest, ok, she didn't, but she **would** … it was that she still hadn't come up with a plan to keep him from leaving the house and immediately killing Weston. Not that she minded that plan necessarily, but she didn't think it was a good idea yet. With the FBI involved with Zobelle, killing his right hand man might make more agencies focus on the Sons. They had plenty already.

"I started investigating Zobelle the next day. I used a laptop that I used to use when I worked on this kind of thing before I came to Charming and I haven't been tracked on it yet. I put a lot of information together and can see the thread to tug, but I haven't gotten a good grip on it yet. I hope to have it soon. I haven't called any of my contacts yet because I didn't want this getting out. I am positive he doesn't know I have this information."

With that, she stood up and walked over to him. Still carefully avoiding his eyes, she opened her bag where she had tossed it earlier and placed one of the folders down on the table. "There are four copies of this. One of these, along with copies of the recordings, I put in my safety deposit box before I picked you up earlier. The other three are for the Sons or whomever they want to pass it along to. I copied it at work before I got you today so that I could control who saw it."

Knowing that she wasn't going to want to stop until she found what Zobelle was hiding, she said quietly, "I know you're not going to want me to do this Happy. But I don't think anyone else is able to. It's what I did for years and if I actually start calling my connections, I can probably find the information even faster. But I wasn't willing to expose myself until you were home. And you deserve a say if I do this at all."

Finally looking up, she saw him staring into the kitchen, like the answers would be in one of the copper pots hanging above the island. She had never seen his face this blank, and it worried her. It really worried her that she still had the most explosive piece to tell him. _Please don't let him channel all of this into destroying Weston. Not yet._

"Happy," she said quietly, trying to get his attention. When he finally turned and looked at her, she bit her lip. "I have one more thing to tell you, but I'd really like it if you remembered what you agreed to earlier. That you would try to think before you act."

Realizing that the faint nod she got was all she was going to get, Rachel wrapped her fingers around one of the chair backs. Squeezing it tight, she closed her eyes and told him about Weston. About how when she went into the store, his eyes had never left her. That she had started seeing him randomly around town, just staring at her. That earlier today, he was standing across the street from the house as she pulled away to go get him from the airport. That at first she had just been uneasy, but now he was scaring her.

Hearing the front door slam shut less than a minute after she stopped talking, she slowly opened her eyes and took a shaky breath. Pulling the chair out that she was leaning on, she sank into it and wondered what she should do now. If she should do anything.

Tapping her nails on the table after she managed to stop crying, she finally decided to do the only thing she could think of that he wouldn't go apeshit about if he ever found out about it. _Although if I get to vote, I'm checking my ballot for him not finding out. Ever._

"Quinn? It's Rachel, Happy's girlfriend. I need a favor."

* * *

Quinn slowly closed his phone and furrowed his brow. When Cookie looked at him, wanting to know what happened, he slowly said, "That was Hap's girl. She wouldn't say why, but she asked if I could call Happy as soon as I could. That if we were anywhere near Charming and not doing anything important, it might be good to head that way."

He paused and then said, "When I asked why, she said she couldn't say without talking to him first, but if I would just call him soon, she was sure I'd find out and understand why. Then she asked me if maybe I could never tell Happy she had just made the call, that she'd appreciate it."

Cookie stared at him and then said in his cheerful way, "Well I'd say it's time to call Happy then."

* * *

Happy was in a rage. He knew he wasn't thinking clearly. He knew that he shouldn't have left the house, especially left Rachel fucking alone in a house with that fucker loose still. _I don't even know where to start with all of this. How can I protect her from herself? I can kill Weston, and I'm going to enjoy that a __**lot**__, but how do I protect her from the entire fucking organization and whoever she pisses off taking Zobelle down? Clay … my brother. Why?_

Trying to let the road soothe him, he let those and other questions pound away while he struggled to find a solution that would work. _Telling her not to do something, forbidding her not to do something isn't going to work, you know that. What if she is the only one who can dig this up? The club needs to put this shit away; it's making Cameron twitchy, which makes Ireland and Clay twitchy. But it puts her right the fuck in the middle of the crosshairs._

His thoughts were interrupted when his cell vibrated against his leg. Picking it up in case Rachel was in trouble, he frowned when he saw Quinn's name. Pulling over into the next cutout, he turned off his ride and called Quinn back.

"You need something?" He snapped out.

"Nope, just calling to say Cookie and I were thinking of traveling your way soon. Haven't seen you in awhile. Thought I'd let you buy me a drink for giving you such great fuckin advice in Tacoma. Cookie said something about a special cooking extract and then I stopped listening, but he wanted to see Bobby too," Quinn replied.

Happy stared into the distance, letting his eyes trail the skyline and then said, "Rachel called you didn't she?"

"Why would you say that? Can't a brother just miss a brother?"

"She did. Fuck. What'd she say," Happy demanded. _Damnit Rachel._

He heard Quinn sigh on the other end of the line. "She didn't really say anything man. She told me that she couldn't tell me why, but that she'd really appreciate it I called you. Then she asked me never to tell you that." Quinn paused while Happy closed his eyes in frustration, "So why is your girl calling me?" _Because I can't seem to teach her not to fucking interfere?_

"Fuck. **Fuck!**" Happy kicked at the gravel under his feet. "She was probably afraid I was out shooting someone. I'm still fuckin thinkin about it. She somehow managed to land herself in the middle of a giant fucking mess and I don't see any way out of it for either of us. This shit is going to fuck with the club and she could be in danger, but … fuck."

"We're on our way. Can you hold everything until then? Maybe fresh eyes will help." Quinn offered.

"I can probably stall most of it; it'll be convincing Rachel to stop until then that will be the fuckin rub." _I should be able to fuckin tell her what she can and can't do with this shit. Why does she always have to be so damn difficult?_ Sighing, Happy said, "I'll go back to the house, tell her what she needs to do. How far out are you?"

"See you Monday night. Gimme the address, we'll go straight there."

* * *

When Rachel's phone rang a few minutes after she hung up with Quinn, she thought it was Happy calling to yell at her at first. Then her brain processed that it wasn't his ringtone and she saw the return number. Banging her head on the table once, she accepted the call and leaned back in her chair. _Does ESP run in families?_

"Hi Rosa. How are you?"

* * *

When Happy had told her, the night that she told him she loved him, he wanted to take her to meet his mother, he wasn't lying. The next day she woke to a slap on the ass and a command to get out of bed so they could get on the road. Still lying there not quite awake, she had just kind of blinked at him. Bastard had then leaned down, whipped the sheet off and bodily picked her up.

Shrieking, she had managed to stop yelling about the time they hit the shower. Pinning her back against the cold tile, legs around his hips, he had kissed and teased her until she was begging. The next 20 minutes were a fond memory of wet skin and slow slides and long kisses and cries echoing off of the walls. When he finally put her feet on the floor of the shower, she almost collapsed. Asshole laughed.

Less than an hour later they were on the bike headed to Bakersfield. She had really enjoyed the visit. Rosa was a tiny spitfire who didn't take any lip from her dangerous son. Rachel had grinned and thought that now she understood why she got away with it. According to Rosa, who had sent Happy off to run some errands, causing a very rare nervous look to cross his face when he realized that she'd be alone with his Ma, her boy hadn't brought anyone home since he was in his teens.

Rosa was also very good at interrogation. So good that even as Rachel saw the hidden motive behind the questions, she couldn't seem to not answer. It was frustrating as hell. Rachel had ended up telling her all sorts of things about her job, her home, how she and Happy got together, although Rachel said that they kept running into each other and it just happened from there. She was pretty sure that Rosa was aware that she didn't fully answer that one, but there were some things that Rachel didn't share with anyone. The way Happy was with her in their home behind closed doors was one of them.

Of course then Rosa segued into marriage and babies. Rachel had gently explained to her that while she was sure Happy would have beautiful babies, it wouldn't be with her. That she no longer had some of the equipment necessary for that due to a childhood illness that caused her to have ectopic pregnancies if she did get pregnant.

Rachel was hoping that didn't disqualify her for whatever Rosa was fishing for, but it's not like she was going to regrow her fallopian tubes. Besides, as nice as it was to cuddle Abel, it was also nice to be able to hand him off when he was crying. She briefly had a thought about how horrible the teen years would be in a house that held Happy, her and spawn that had inherited their tempers and stubbornness and shuddered violently.

Finally Happy came back and Rosa made it his turn to be uncomfortable. Dragging out the photo albums, she showed Rachel all of those pictures she never thought she'd have a chance to show off. Rachel spent a lot of time biting the inside of her cheek at how cute he was when he was trying to look tough as a teenager. She had choked on her water when Rosa got to the years he had a mustache. Then she cheekily asked Rosa if she could have a copy of the obligatory naked child in the bathtub photo. Happy had glared at her when she winked at him.

About the time a late lunch was finished, Rosa had started getting tired and let Happy take her back to her bed. Rachel had taken the hug and kiss and returned them, trying not to show how uncomfortable she was with being touched by someone she just met. The entire trip back, she wondered how in the world Rosa gotten her to talk about all of that stuff. When she said it out loud when they got home, Happy chuckled and said she did it to him too.

* * *

Leaning back in her chair and staring out at the pool, Rachel put all of her effort into not slipping. Rosa was excellent at picking up on cues, and there was no way she was finding any of this out. So pushing past all the worry and fear and shock that he had left without saying anything and a not a little bit of anger, she concentrated on putting on her strong happy face.

Hearing the front door, she swung her head around while she pointed her gun in that general direction. Seeing Happy, she put it back on the table and glared at him. He glared back. She knew he wanted to know who was on the phone, but didn't much care what he wanted right now. Finally she told Rosa that they'd see her soon and that she'd be happy to bring more of the cookies they brought last time.

Then she put her phone down and stared at Happy.

"My Ma?" Happy asked her. Rachel knew she was feeling bitchy when her immediate response was to think, well fuckin duh, who else did we bring cookies to the last time **we** visited?

"Yes."

Folding her hands together, she leaned back in her chair and waited. He had obviously come to some conclusion, but she'd be damned if she asked what it was. Rachel understood he had been shocked and angry and probably hadn't been thinking, but it didn't make how it had made her feel to hear that door shut any easier.

* * *

Apparently Rachel felt like she had said everything she wanted to, because she just sat there and looked at him with a calm expression on her face. He knew damn well she wasn't calm; her blue eyes were swirling with repressed emotion. If he looked closer, he could see her right pinky finger lightly tapping on the table, a sure sign of temper.

"I shouldn't have just left. I'm sorry for that." Happy had been with Rachel long enough to know that it was easier to get past the bullshit parts of the fight if he just fuckin apologized when he did something wrong. He had known in the back of his mind while he was riding that walking out without saying anything was a dickhead move, especially with her past.

"No, you shouldn't have. Or at least you could have said you needed to go. I understand needing space Happy, you know that. If you need to leave, just say something, give me something." She paused and took a breath, letting it out slowly.

"Thank you for saying sorry," she said as she tried to smile at him. Rachel rarely brought shit up again once he apologized, as long as he didn't say it just to say it. He had tried that **once**. Fuckin fight that followed was not worth going through again.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier what happened. I had reasons, and I'm sure you know what they are, but … I knew you would have wanted to know and I deliberately kept it from you until you got home. I apologize," Rachel said, managing a sad and tentative smile. He nodded at her.

"You called Quinn," he said, watching her carefully. Seeing her blush and listening to her stammering about how it wasn't that she was checking on him, she just thought maybe Quinn could help give him an outlet or some shit. Mostly he let it all roll over him. He already knew why she did it. She was worried about him and did the only thing she could think of that would help.

"Little Girl, you gotta stop stepping in. It's a real bad habit to get into. I don't want you getting hurt someday because of my shit." He had spent the ride back thinking about how to say this so she'd fuckin hear him.

Sitting down next to her, he took one of her hands and stared down at it. "You know how much danger you landed in, you're not stupid. I ask you to call because I need to know you're safe. You didn't say a fuckin word about this. In fact, you told me something about a normal day and errands," he looked up to glare at her and went on, "I don't know yet how to handle all of this. I need some time. And I need you to stop until I tell you that you can start digging again. **If** I tell you."

When she opened her mouth to argue, he tightened his grip on her hand and looked at her seriously. "Rachel, this isn't your problem. This is a Sons problem. Yeah, it concerns me, but it is club business. I know you're just trying to help, and I appreciate that, but you can't just stick your nose into this. Give me some time. Quinn is coming and I'll probably need to talk to at least Jax soon. Just stop until I can get a handle on this."

Seeing her agreement, he still waited until she said, "Alright. I promise to wait until we talk about it." She didn't look happy, but she wasn't fighting him.

Standing up, he picked up the folder of information he hadn't read yet and started from the room. Still facing away from her he said in a low dangerous voice, "Weston will never touch you. I'll try and wait until we resolve some of this shit, but Rachel, if he comes near you again, he's dead." With that, he grabbed his bag from the living room and went into the bedroom to unpack from his trip.

* * *

Walking into the bedroom after hearing the shower start, Rachel started getting undressed. Silently slipping in the bathroom door, she leaned naked against it while she enjoyed the sight of Happy in the clear glass shower with his head tilted back under the spray. She had eventually gotten used to seeing his tattoos, but there were times, like now, when seeing them brought them back into sharp relief.

Watching the water fall in rivulets down his body, she traced her eyes across some of her favorites. The devil on his right shoulder, the section dedicated to his fallen comrades, her friend the snake that she kept trying to give nicknames like Pookie so she could fuck with him. Tracing her eyes down his stomach where he had his signature smiley faces, across the heavy length of him, to his hip where he had a small rose for his mom, she suddenly realized that he was hard and looking at her with hot predatory eyes.

She swallowed heavily when his hand reached down and stroked his cock a few times. Watching her reaction and seeing her eyes go dark, he said roughly, "Rachel, come here." Still slowly running his right hand back and forth, gently gripping, he used his left hand to open the door to the shower.

When Rachel entered, she heard the door click shut behind her. Still staring into his heavy lidded dark eyes, she waited.

Stepping back so that he was leaning against the wall, he lazily looked at her while he continued to stroke himself slowly. Rubbing a thumb against the tip, he closed his eyes for a second in reaction. Opening them, he saw her eyes were completely blown and she was sucking on her bottom lip.

Keeping the slow pace, he asked her, "What do you want Rachel?"

"You." _Fuck yes you do._

"Think you should get what you want? After makin me go out of my fuckin mind with worry?" he said in a low voice that made her breath catch. _Damn I love the way she responds._

"Happy …" she pleaded in a husky voice.

Staring at her for a minute with serious eyes, he finally reached for her. Dipping his head while he slid her slick and supple body against his, he brushed his lips against her ear as he whispered, "I think you're wet and trembling. I think you want me to slide my dick inside you and fuck you until you can't think anymore." Hearing her moan, he smiled and bit her earlobe before continuing.

"But what **I** want, is you on your knees." Rachel didn't submit to him often, not like this, but when she did it was always so fuckin hot. Happy thought it was her way of giving him back some control when life spun out. An apology for things she couldn't help and wouldn't verbally apologize for. _Like insatiable curiosity._ _Or_ _stepping in the middle of a minefield._

Immediately dropping to her knees, she proceeded to literally blow his mind. Groaning while she fuckin held his hips hard against the wall, digging her nails into his skin, she licked and sucked and ran his dick in and out of that soft mouth and held him on the edge until he almost lost his resolve to not take her.

Watching the water run over that strong yet delicate body, his mouth watered as his eyes tracked it dripping off the pebbled tip of each nipple. Finally breaking, he reached out to grab her hair to pull her up when her dark blue eyes snapped up to his and he felt himself stop breathing for a second as he saw the warning and promise in them. _Oh fuck yes, that's my girl._

Moving closer, she sat up a little higher on her knees, then without any further warning, she worked him down into her throat until she could take almost all of him. Knees trembling and breathing heavily, Happy stared down at her with barely seeing eyes as she slowly started swallowing. Feeling the muscles in her throat work against the tip of his dick, he could feel the pull at the base of his spine start as he fought not to come.

Fists against the wall and head tilted back, he was getting control over it … and then she ran one hand down to his balls and rolled them while dragging her nails softly across the underside. That little extra, combined with her holding him deep and swallowing, brought him shouting her name as he poured into her mouth and down her throat.

Fighting to stay on his feet and not drop to his knees like a pussy, he jerked a few times as she slowly worked her mouth off and used her tongue to make sure she got every drop. Opening his eyes and looking down at Rachel, he smiled and held out a hand to help her up. Pulling her tightly into him and giving her a soft kiss on those swollen lips, he thanked her. _Because you fuckin said thank you after a blow job like that._

* * *

Staring down at the information Rachel had put together, he was torn between being proud of her for being so fucking smart and pissed at her for being so fucking smart. She thought the fucking FBI was involved with Zobelle, but couldn't prove it yet. **Yet**. _Fuck me._ Apparently there was some kind of money trail that led to the FBI.

She wrote up the different ways that Zobelle and the League were financing their operation, showing the cash flow so that even someone without a formal education could easily follow along. Then she broke down the most likely ways they were making that money. She was using her background here, by comparing the cash coming in with what she had seen in the past. Without having any other information yet, that she said she could get if she contacted some people, she was guessing they ran heavy drugs, like cocaine or heroin. There was also a probable weapons connection based on the nations that some of the money was going to, looked like payments.

So basically, his girl found a way to remove the FBI protection, if there was any, from the equation and maybe get an investigation started. Putting her in the middle of an embarrassed FBI, a drug cartel, Middle East weapons dealers, a white separatist group, and whoever local this pisses off. With all the pieces involved, Homeland Security, FBI, DEA, ATF and since some of it was overseas, the fuckin CIA would all be poking around. _Jesus Christ Rachel, you don't do shit halfway do you?_ He wasn't sure if she had realized this part yet, she seemed to focus on the fucking answers more than her damn safety.

He knew he could count on her to leave it alone until at least Quinn came, but the shit in this folder scared him. He would happily kill for her or stand between her and danger, but he didn't know how to protect her from this. When they told the club, because they would have to tell the club eventually, if the club wanted her to press forward, he'd basically be telling her to hold a grenade and hope the pin didn't fuckin fall out.

* * *

**Next up - Happy is a dick, Rachel is tired, and Quinn arrives  
**


	14. Chapter 14

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 14**

Monday evening found Rachel making coffee for Quinn, Cookie and Happy. While they chatted, she tried to push Weston out of her mind, because they didn't have time for it right now. _Happy is going to flip his shit. You just have to hold on a little longer. Breathe._

Happy looked up at Rachel where she was standing with her back to the table. Studying her rigid back and hearing her clink the cups, which she rarely did, he realized that something had happened. _Damnit. What isn't she telling me? What would she keep … fuck, Weston._

"Rachel," he called softly. He saw Quinn and Cookie look at him from the corner of his eye, but ignored it for now. Narrowing his eyes when she didn't answer, he stood up and walked into the kitchen. Pressing against her back, he could feel her trembling.

"Motherfucker, where and when," he seethed. Pulling back so he could spin her around, he took in her wide eyes that didn't seem like they were seeing him. With a hand on her jaw, he tilted her head so he could look directly in her eyes. "Rachel, look at me … hey girl, look at me damnit."

As her eyes slowly came into focus, his worried expression finally seemed to register with her. _He's dead, if he can make her look like this … fucker is dead. I'm going to cut his skin off a strip at a time, keep him alive a long time._

"Shit, sorry."

"Yeah, that's one word for it. Now tell me, when and where?" he asked again. Seeing that she was about ready to brush him off, even if she wouldn't lie directly to him, he pushed her against the counter and caged her in with his arms.

"Listen to me Rachel, are you listening?" Happy waited for her nod. "That's fucking great, because you need to hear this. He's already dead, he just doesn't fucking know it yet. Now tell me what the hell happened."

Quinn watched Happy and Rachel and wondered what that was about. Before he could ask, or they said something that made it fucking clear, which he'd like if Happy was killing someone, the front door was suddenly being pounded on.

Rachel's face paled, even as she darted forward to grab her gun out of her purse. Happy stepped away to get the door, but pointed back at her, "This discussion is not over little girl. You're going to tell me." Walking towards the door, he barked, "Damnit Dog, be quiet for a second." Looking back, he saw Rachel peeking out from the edge of the kitchen and glared at her until her head popped back behind the wall. _She's going to drive me into an early grave, I swear to fuckin god._

Frowning in confusion, he stared at the person who had been banging on the door. "What the hell Gemma?"

"Rachel here? She and I need to chat a bit. Now." Gemma had that look that said she was going through him if he didn't get out of the way.

"Rachel, it's Gemma," he yelled back into the house. _Shit, there's no way to hide Quinn and Cookie being here. Fuck it, so they stopped here before they went to the clubhouse tomorrow._ "Come in Gemma, you know the way, I'm sure," he said sarcastically to her back as she brushed past him.

Wondering what the fuck was going on, and how much longer it would be before he got his answers, he followed Gemma back to where she was greeting the other Nomads. Glancing at Rachel, he realized with surprise that she had her public face on, the one that hid most of what she felt. _It's wrong to see that look on her face at home. _

"Gemma, little late for a drop in, isn't it?" Rachel asked. "Something wrong?"

"We need to talk …" Gemma looked around the kitchen, "Privately. Sorry boys." Clearing her throat she looked at Rachel pointedly, "It's about that **thing** I told you that happened … a few months ago. Some information you should know."

Watching Rachel's face pale further, which was pretty impressive since she was already fuckin white, Happy wondered what fresh shit this was. When she glanced at him, he waved towards the patio. "Do me a favor … take Dog and your gun out there. Don't make me worry more."

Looking at him with sad hurt eyes, she gave him this little smile that made him feel like shit. _I know she's trying. Fuck. I know she didn't do this on purpose and that she didn't even start it. I gotta quit taking it out on her. I've been a fucking dick all weekend, but Jesus Christ …_

* * *

"I saw Weston today, in Safeway, watching you. Fucker looked like he was your shadow." Gemma stated with a raised eyebrow that demanded you tell her what she wanted to know even if she never asked a question.

"Yes." _I don't answer questions that aren't asked Gemma. I'll admit to facts someone already has. Fuckin ask if you need to know that badly._

"Don't play the coy bitch with me Rachel, what the fuck is going on?" Rachel could see Happy look out the back door with a creased brow as he heard Gemma yelling at her. _I don't know what to do. She's Clay's wife. I can't tell her, because then I'd have to explain everything and I can't do that._

Sitting down tiredly, she put her elbows on her knees and rested her forehead in her hands. "Gemma, please. I have had a really long day that followed an excruciatingly tense and painful weekend that followed a very stressful week. Please, please don't fence with me, just fuckin tell me what you want to say." By the time Rachel had gotten to the word fence, she was fighting to keep it from cracking. _Shit, keep it together._

"I want to say that you need to be careful. You need to be **really** fucking careful around Weston."

Hearing a note in Gemma's voice that concerned her, she ripped her head up and searched Gemma's face. "Oh fuck, no. Tell me it's not what I'm thinking. Please Gemma, please," she pleaded. _I can't deal with this right now. I knew he was creepy and probably wanted that, but a fuckin gang rapist? I can't. Not again. _

_I'm._

_Just. _

_Done._

* * *

When he heard Gemma start calling Rachel's name and shaking her, Happy was out of his seat and into the backyard in a flash. "The fuck did you do Gemma?"

"Nothing! We were talking," she said defensively, staring worriedly at Rachel. _Oh I need more than that bitch. She didn't get like this from casual fuckin conversation._

"Gemma, she's going into fuckin shock, what the hell did you say to her?" Happy was getting mad now as he checked Rachel's eyes and pulse.

Gemma looked at Rachel again and then at Happy. "I can't tell you Happy. It was something she needed to know. For her safety. Let me call Tara, please."

_For her safety. What would make her freak out again like she was in the house. Fucking Weston._ "No, not yet, Rachel has a thing about doctors. Even Tara doin medical shit would bother her right now." Scooping Rachel up in his arms and snapping his fingers for Dog, he carried her into the living room and tried to lay her down. Realizing she had locked her fingers around his back and that she was shaking, he just sat down instead.

Trying to ignore the other people sitting and standing in the room and wishing they'd go the hell away, he whispered the shit he knew Rachel needed to hear while he rubbed her back. "C'mon girl, I need you to find that rage and determination you keep locked inside. We just need to kill the fucker and then this will be all over. I'm not going to let him get you. You're not going to let him get you. You're a strong bitch, how many fucking times have you lectured my ass on the fact that you can take care of yourself? Look who you got in your damn corner if you need help."

Leaning back after awhile and closing his eyes, he helped her reposition so she was comfortable. "I'm pretty sure that you owe me money again too. That was a lot of fucking words. I need at least another 10." Happy was relieved when she finally responded, even if it was just a huffy laugh that had undertones of tears in it.

* * *

Embarrassed, Rachel really just wanted to go to bed. She wondered if she could get Happy to carry her there and then she'd just hide until she could start another day with a clean slate. It felt like all of the stress of the last week of being scared and alone and hiding it all from Happy, to this weekend where he was so angry and worried and mean to her, to today where it seemed nothing went right and then she was stalked in the local grocery store by what turns out to be a gang rapist, just all crashed down at once.

_Honestly, I really feel I'm entitled to have a mini breakdown here. Even rock erodes after enough fuckin water runs over it._

Finally she got it together enough to say, loud enough that the room could hear it, "Weston followed me to the grocery store tonight. Gemma saw it. He basically stalked me through the entire thing, maybe 5-10 steps behind me from the time I entered til I left. He never touched me, he never talked to me, and he never threatened me. He simply walked close behind me and stared at me."

Tilting her head back to see Happy, she tightened her arms when she felt him tense to get up. "Don't, please. Don't make me fight with you. Not after last week. And this weekend. And today. Just. Give me this, please Happy." Giving him a sad smile, she said, "I know he's dead. I get it. In fact I'm considering asking you to let me cut on him for awhile, especially after this. But tonight, right now, I'm done. I can't do anything else. Just … don't."

Closing his eyes and fighting the urge to go and start ripping the guy apart, he took a breath and tightened his arms. "I'm not gonna make you fight tonight Rach. It's fine girl. I was too hard on you this weekend." Looking up at Gemma, he asked, "Anything else you want to throw at her tonight or are we good here?"

Rachel pinched him. "Be nicer. She was trying to help. She didn't know how bad I already was from last week."

Gemma said in a shocked voice, "He's been doing this since last week? Why the fuck didn't you tell anyone? Jesus Christ Rachel, what the hell?"

"Gemma for fucks sake. I swear to god if someone else yells at me tonight, I'm going to fucking shoot them. I may aim for a toe, but a bullet will be fired. I didn't tell anyone, not even Happy til he got home. I was taking precautions until he and I could talk." Giving Gemma a look, she pointed out, "Besides, what would you have done? Can't ask the boys to protect me and you and Tara have lives. I dealt with it."

Listening as Happy basically tossed Gemma out, Rachel curled herself into a ball on the couch with Peanut's face snuggled up next to hers. "You still love me don't you boy? Even if everyone else is mad at me, you'll still love me, right?" She smiled softly when he licked her hand.

Hearing a noise, she looked up to see Happy in the doorway with sad eyes. Giving him a quirk of the lips that tried to say sorry, she called Peanut to her and went to bed alone.

* * *

Staring at the folder that he just finished reading, Quinn didn't know what to say. Or where to start. Looking up at Cookie, he could see the same look he had. _Yeah, how's that feel boys? That pit in your stomach that just opened up? That's how I've felt since Friday._

Happy barked a laugh. "Yeah that was my reaction too. She didn't see it. The danger. Not until I pointed it out to her. She saw the numbers and the chase and the win. I don't know what to fuckin do with this. Then there's Clay. I could barely keep myself from ripping his head off today at T-M because I know she wouldn't have gotten into this if he hadn't pushed her down the road."

Sighing, he rubbed his face tiredly. "She told me that she can probably get the rest of the information fairly easily, but getting it will involve asking her contacts that she used to work with. She says that means exposure. That what she has here she was able to get without anyone tracking her. Smart little bitch isn't she?"

"She certainly is. I don't know what I was expecting Happy, but it wasn't this." Cookie said. "I wasn't expecting her either. I'd heard about her, but it's something different to see all of that life in such a tiny package." _You should see her laughing and happy … I fuckin miss that._

"Quinn?"

"Call Jax. Clay is compromised right now, but we need someone at their table to talk to. Jax is VP and he's been trying to be more reasonable lately, less like a hothead. He already likes Rachel. He can at least tell us what direction we can expect the wind to blow. I'd like to get him to get her declared a friend to SAMCRO, give her some formal protection. I can do it for the Nomads, but it will take time to call them in."

Quinn paused and looked at Happy, "You're not going to want to hear this, but you can't touch Clay for this, not right now at least. If there is going to be any retaliation, Charming is going to have to take care of it. I know she's more … fuck … she's not inked man, she's not a friend of the club. I know she's more than that to you, but you know how it fucking works."

Happy stood up and stared out the doors into the darkness for a long minute. Softly, he said, "I know. I fucking hate it, but I know. If she gets hurt though, I don't know if … he better hope she doesn't get hurt."

Nodding, Quinn tapped his hand on the table. "I get it Hap, I do. I take it Weston is the fuck who is going to die then?"

"Oh yes he is. He is going to die as slowly as I can possibly make it." Happy looked joyous and then pissed. "I just can't touch him either unless he comes after Rachel. I told her I wouldn't. She pointed out that if he just needed to be dead, she could have done that last week, with a song in her heart. Until we know who is protecting Zobelle, we can't know if killing Weston will start something we can't afford to finish." Sighing, he complained, "She's entirely too fucking reasonable about this shit in my opinion." _She's too careless with her safety. _

Quinn snorted. "Yeah and then she told you she wanted to help you cut him when it was time. We'll help watch out for her until we can figure shit out, right Cook?" Cookie nodded. "Call Jax, get him over here. No point in wasting a bunch of time. People can think of questions and then Rachel can answer tomorrow when she's more herself."

"Speaking of," Quinn pointed at him and growled. "Whatever you're doing to help put that look on her face, you should probably grow the fuck up. Just cause she's close doesn't mean it's a good idea to use her as the punching bag man. Your girl is tough, she's going to swing back soon and then WW3 is going to fucking break out."

"Yeah I know, I already realized it. I'll talk to her."

Cookie looked up from where he was getting a cup of coffee as Happy dug out his cell so he could call Jax. "What was that about giving you money? Didn't make sense."

An actual smile flitted across Happy's face for a second. "She gave me a ten dollar bill once, told me she was buying 100 words since I act like I'm charged by the word for speaking. Sassy little bitch."

* * *

After calling Jax and hearing he'd be over first thing, Happy set Quinn and Cookie up with some beer and a remote and headed back to see Rachel. He had fucked up. He didn't realize it until tonight when she cracked that he'd been blaming her all weekend for this mess. And yeah, maybe some of it was her fault, at least in how she handled things, but it certainly wasn't all hers. Shit, if she wasn't involved with him in the first place she wouldn't be dealing with any of this. _But I'm a selfish bastard, she's mine and she's staying that way._

Slowly pushing the door open, he clicked his fingers at Dog and sent him out into the hall. Shutting the door, he looked at the tiny lump she made in the huge bed with a ghost of a smile. "Rachel, you awake?" he asked as he sat down next to her. A pair of red rimmed blue eyes peeked out warily from under the top edge of the comforter.

_Fuck me. _"Shit, I'm sorry. I'd ask why you didn't stop me, but … fuck, I know why." He leaned down and pushed the hair out of her face as he continued, "It's not your fault. The information was going to be there anyway, all you did was look it up. It's not your fault you went into the store, Clay put you in a bad spot and you did what you had to. Maybe Weston would never have found you then."

Dropping soft kisses all over her face, he tried to show her how sorry he really was. _She's been taking my shit because she thinks I was right. That it's her fault I have to deal with this, so she should let me take it out on her. Damnit … I know how she is when she thinks shit is her fault, I should know better. She'd have shot anyone else who treated her like I have this weekend._

"I'm sorry, I really am. It's not your fault." Watching her eyes, he kept it up until he saw the shift that meant she finally believed him a little. _Not gonna fix this is in one night though, fuck._

Nodding faintly, but not saying anything, she closed her still wary eyes and scooted over until her head was in his lap. Running his fingers through her short hair, and smoothing it away from her face, he wondered what tomorrow would bring.

* * *

Jax went from confused and curious to a white hot rage when he heard the recording that Rachel had made last week. _He sent another woman into fucking danger. Jesus Christ. I had just warned him off of her and he immediately sends her somewhere that he had to know was putting a damn target on her back._

Listening to Happy explain what else happened, why she did shit and hearing the other recording and what Weston was doing, Jax wondered how these people were still alive. You don't fuck with Happy or his things. Rachel fell into the 'one of his things' category in a big way. Glancing over into the living room, he frowned a bit as he saw her curled up on one of the couches, wrapped up in a blanket staring off into space.

Looking back at Happy he said, "She never said anything last week. Didn't ask for help. I'm sorry man, I didn't know. I should have stayed, not let Clay talk to her alone."

"She doesn't ask for help. It's not your fault," Happy replied on an exhale.

"What are you going to do about Clay?"

Gritting his teeth and glaring at Quinn, Happy growled out, "Nothing, for now."

When Happy handed him one of the folders Rachel had made up, Jax stared at it. Skimming through it quickly, he stopped about halfway and started again, slower. "She was able to find all this out? Juice couldn't find hardly anything." _Holy shit._

"She has a background in this kind of thing. Used to do it for people all over the world, still has the skills and contacts." _Christ, we could use this for something, I just don't know what yet._

Looking down, Jax tapped his fingers against the table a few times and then looked up at Happy, Quinn, and Cookie. "We gotta take this to the table man. You know that."

"Yeah, we do. But we want to accomplish a few things while we do it, just in case." Quinn replied.

"A'ight, what are we lookin for?"

"Make her a friend of SAMCRO, so she's entitled to protection if she does anything to help the club. If she gets in trouble, she has people who can cover her back." Quinn told him seriously. "I made her a friend to the Nomads, but this is really your fucking mess. You should bear the brunt. Keep Clay off her ass as much as you can. Only ask her to dig deeper if you have to have it and Juice can't find it."

"Fuck. I can try. I know Piney, Bobby, and Chibs would be yay. Maybe Juice, he likes her. Ope and I aren't doin well these days, but if it's about protecting a woman, he might, after what happened to Donna. Clay and Tig are nays. Tig just because she's a woman." Jax said as he thought out loud.

Looking at Happy, he said, "You know, there's an easier way to get her protection." _Why not fuckin ink her man? You're as much with her as I am with Tara._

Shooting a glare into the living room at Rachel who was getting up, Happy said gruffly, "She won't fucking take it until after this shit is over. I tried. Says that if I do it now, because of this, that it's bullshit."

Watching Rachel move through the dining area into the kitchen in a pair of tight leggings and what looked like one of Hap's t-shirts that dwarfed her, he saw her glare right back at Happy. "That's because it would be bullshit. Don't start this again with me today," she said as she reached up for a glass.

"Now who the fuck is at the door?" she exclaimed when a loud banging rattled through the house.

Jax saw her look at Happy and while she **had** been moving towards the hall to get the door, she sighed, turned around and picked up her gun while Happy moved to the front door.

"Fuck!" he heard Happy shout.

Alarmed, the other three Sons went to the door to find Happy staring into a box of photos of Rachel, all shot in town and through the windows of the house. Quinn brought a hand up to Happy's shoulder and tried to calm him down. "He's just fucking with you guys. Let's take care of this other shit and then we can deal with him."

Rachel moved up the hallway as they came in and shut the door. Eyes fastened on the box, she asked, "Delivery for me I take it?" Looking up at Happy, she swallowed. "Do I want to know what it is?"

"It's nothing important, just fucking mind games." Handing the box to Quinn, Happy shot him a warning look to keep it away from Rachel for now. Jax watched him stride forward and drape his arms around her in a loose hug.

"Remember what I said yesterday. Be my strong bitch just a little while longer, ok?" Happy murmured while kissing her forehead.

"I'm trying. It'd be nice to get a fucking break from the endless stream of shit though. I'm trying to comfort myself with the thoughts of what I'm going to do with him when I can finally kill him."

_Jesus Christ she's as bloodthirsty as Hap is. It's so damn easy to forget what we saw in the alley that night._

* * *

After setting up Church for late that afternoon, Jax spent an hour asking Rachel questions about the research and what kind of time it would take her to finish it. Happy made her explain to Jax how exposed she would be and what kind of shit could happen. She pointed out that when she did this job for a living, she had never had anything come back on her. It was just a precaution.

Happy just stared at her and stated flatly, "This is Charming. Shit like that always happens here."

* * *

Happy watched the bullshit happening at the table with veiled eyes. Jax had told the story a little differently, and it worked out well. He led with the report, so that when Clay started bitching about why Rachel was looking into club shit again, Jax could lay out the recordings and the fact that she wouldn't have started digging if Clay hadn't sent her in and she started getting stalked.

Tig oddly enough, looked betrayed a bit by what Clay did. Opie seemed worried it was going to be another Donna situation. Bobby was the most educated when it came to finance and quickly checked the research and said he thought it looked legit. Chibs didn't say anything, but was clearly pissed off. Juice looked over her notes on the hacking she had done and couldn't fucking stop making excited noises long enough to pay attention to what was going on. And Piney. Piney looked like he was going to kill Clay with his bare hands, except Jax kept shooting him warning looks. _The fuck is that about?_

Going over what Rachel had told him about how she could finish getting the information, but that it would put her in some danger, they voted to table that for now. Jax mentioned Weston, and the table all looked at Happy to see what he thought.

Making a point with his eyes, he said, "Rachel and I will be taking care of Weston permanently as soon as we know it's not going to come back on the club. No one else touches him. He's going to pay in blood for every time he's scared her."

Trying not to roll his eyes at the surprised looks he got when he mentioned Rachel helping, he wondered how the hell everyone seemed to forget how the club had met her. Was she that good at hiding that part of her? He remembered feeling that way a bit in the beginning, but by now, he could clearly see she had a mean streak for certain things that rivaled his.

Juice suddenly remembered there were other things going on and piped up with, "Hell yeah, Rachel is bad ass when she wants to be. It's a little creepy because you don't expect it."

Jax took control of the table again and looked seriously at Clay. "You sent Happy's woman into that store where you knew she was going to run into Zobelle. You told her to fucking use your name, so he had no choice but to connect her to the club. She's fairly high profile in this town … even if he hadn't asked for her name he would have easily gotten it. Wanna tell us, and especially Happy, what the fuck you were thinking?"

Letting all of his rage at Clay simmer in his eyes, Happy stared and waited for the fucker to explain.

"I wasn't thinking. Fuck. I was just scaring her a little, trying to make her see that she should stay out of club business. I didn't know she was going to dig into Zobelle or that Weston was going to start following her." Clay tried to say.

"But you did fuckin know it would put her on his radar. Why?" Happy demanded.

"I don't have an answer for you brother, I wish I did. I wasn't thinking it through, just meant to twist her tail a bit, not cause all of this. She's been too fucking involved with shit, I was just trying to fuck with her and Zobelle at the same time. I didn't plan it, it just came out."

"If she gets hurt because of your bullshit, I'm going to pay you back every hurt she gets. We clear?" He didn't bother looking around, this was between him and Clay.

"I hear you brother, I'm sorry."

The vote to add Rachel as a friend of the club went through unanimously. Clay was feeling guilty enough, or scared enough of Happy, that he threw his support behind it, and anyone who was riding the fence went with him. _So she's got Sons protection and they want her to wait on the file. Best possible fucking outcome. Might be able to get a full night's sleep._

* * *

"I screwed up Momma," Clay said as he sat down heavily on the chest at the end of their bed later that night. He lowered his head and looked at Gemma where she was reading propped up against the headboard.

"What happened?"

After he had finished explaining what he had done, and making sure to point out that he didn't know, he stopped talking.

Gemma stared at him incredulously. "**You** sent her into that goddamn store? **You're** the reason Weston started stalking her? Are you fucking kidding me Clay?" she yelled.

When he didn't say anything, Gemma slid out of bed and stalked out of the room, spitting over her shoulder as she left, "Jesus, I don't even know you anymore."

Confused and a little pissed by her reaction, Clay stared after her.

* * *

**Next up - Someone is hurt and decisions are revisited  
**


	15. Chapter 15

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 15**

"You busy?"

Rachel huffed a breath. "Well, only if you count trying to do a full year of bank statement reconciliations for a new client who apparently thinks that receipts are a waste of time." Pushing it away in disgust, she looked at Gemma. "What's up?"

Sitting down, Gemma looked at her with tears in her eyes. "I'm so fuckin sorry."

"For what, what's wrong?"

"Clay told me last night when he got home. What he did. Where he fuckin sent you. I am so sorry Rachel. And then I went and fucking yelled at you about not telling me. You didn't say anything because you didn't want to tell me that it was my own husband's fault. Fuck, I'm sorry."

Rachel groaned internally. She really wasn't fond of Clay at all, she thought he was a manipulative bully, but she did like his wife. And Gemma had enough on her plate without feeling guilty for this.

Speaking softly, she said, "Gem, he didn't know. Yeah, he shouldn't have sent me there. But unless you told him last night what happened to you, he doesn't know why it was so bad. From his perspective, shit from all of the guy's perspectives, Weston is just a creep who apparently likes to stalk me … and the Zobelle stuff, well that doesn't affect me really." _Unless I start making phone calls. _"I understand why you were upset, it's in the past." _Although you might want to avoid Hap for awhile._

"Let's have a drink. You want to have a drink? Chucky! Bring us a drink."

Laughing Rachel demurred, "Gemma it's only 3pm, I still have to work on this shit. When I asked to work from the clubhouse the rest of the week, I promised my boss I'd still work just as hard. I'm pretty sure Greg would think drinking in the middle of the afternoon violates the spirit of the agreement."

As Chucky tried to figure out if he was getting them a drink or not, the walls suddenly trembled when a huge explosion occurred outside. Eyes wide, they stared at each other.

"Go go, I can't, I promised I wouldn't leave the clubhouse without him. I'm going to go peek through the window in Church since the door is open. Come back and tell me what's going on!" She yelled at Gemma as Gemma ran for the door. A hand wave was the only acknowledgement she got back.

* * *

The mood in the clubhouse was somber Thursday evening. Chibs would be ok, but he could have been killed. Calls were placed and information tracked down until the Sons gathered around the table to discuss options.

"This was Zobelle. Bringing the cops to our door with that explosion, setting us up for more investigations, maybe bring Stahl back into town." Clay stated heatedly. "We need to just end this."

"He's got some kind of protection Clay, even if we did know where he was," Jax returned.

Clay smiled, "But I do know where he is. Or I know where he will be tomorrow night. Fuckers are having a big rally at the church over on Spring, the one set back from the road. And we don't know he has protection, all we have, no offense Hap, is a report written by someone who did some checking. And she thinks he **might** have some. For all we fuckin know that's a legitimate payment to him. Maybe the FBI likes his damn cigars. We haven't verified shit in it."

Tightening his lips, leaning back and crossing his arms, Happy didn't say a word. Rachel may not have proof, but her gut was solid.

"Bobby, what do you think?"

"Shit Clay … I think we're pushing too fast. I am all for retaliation, for ending this shit now. But it has to be done the right way, and we have info that we need to check before we just race in. Brains before bullets man."

Jax eyed Clay. He wasn't sure why he was pushing this, but it felt like an attempt to grab control. Jax's stock had been rising lately, with the new earnings coming in from both the custom bike builds and the repo/auction stuff Rachel had helped him put together. Their share from CaraCara had gone up too. Being the more reasonable one lately, working for the club and not pushing it back into the past. Seeing opportunities and taking them. Everyone was making more, and it was a lot steadier than just doing guns and T-M.

Best to just shut this shit down. He wasn't going to let the club get screwed without a good reason. Sitting on good intelligence put together by someone who has experience and ignoring it? Bullshit.

"I think we wait. I think we start working on that shit Rachel put together. Sorry Hap, but I think we may need to revisit her looking deeper for that proof. I think we don't go off half cocked. I think we vote."

"We need a fuckin vote to go after this asshole in retaliation for Chibs? We don't hit back, we're gonna look like easy meat, you fuckin know that."

"And if this was the Mayans or an Oakland gang, I'd agree with you. This guy is different. We need to fuckin fight different. He is. We can't play on the same level if we don't have more information. I say we wait. Vote."

Happy had closed his eyes and looked down when Jax said they were going to probably need to revisit Rachel going deeper. His girl would probably enjoy the challenge, but he was going to be fuckin glad when this was all over. _I think I'm getting a damn ulcer._ Looking back up at the table, he waited for the vote that Jax called for.

"Fine. Acting on the intelligence we have that Zobelle and his entire crew will be at the church tomorrow running a recruiting rally. Yay."

Jax said, "Nay, need to be smarter about this."

"Nay. Unverified or not, her numbers make sense, too risky." Bobby agreed.

"Same as Bobby, but hacking wise. She's good, she could be wrong, but we need to check. Nay." Came from Juice.

Opie argued, "Yay. Chibs deserves retaliation."

"What Chibs deserves is his club not going to jail. Nay." Piney glared at his son.

"Yay. Let's tear some shit up." Tig exclaimed.

"No clear majority Clay, even if Chibs was a yay. We're sitting on it and doing our homework first. Think we need another vote now to see if we're going to ask Rachel to push forward, knowing that there are risks to her. I wanna know more about this, think we all could do with some info, any problems havin her step in for a sec?" Jax asked.

Happy bit down and clenched his teeth to keep the objections to that whole line of questions from coming out of his mouth.

* * *

"Hey Rachel, can you come in here a sec?" Looking up, Rachel realized Jax was calling her from the door of Church. Confused, because she could see a meeting happening, she slowly stood up.

"Sure, do I need to bring anything?

"Just you, just have some questions." _Questions … questions about what?_

"Peanut stay."

Going into the room, she stood quietly by the door, her gaze sliding across Happy's face and realizing immediately what this was. Taking a barely detectable breath, she sent him a mental apology. Rachel was pretty sure he was going to get more pissed off, not less, by the time this was over.

"Thanks for coming in, we just needed to hear your answers to a few questions before we make a decision on pursuing that info you found on Zobelle."

"Not a problem, I'm happy to answer any questions you have." Rachel replied gracefully. _It's wrong that I'm so excited that I get to dig more isn't it? Especially with that look on Happy's face. He hates this idea. He hates that I'll be able to be tracked back if someone looks hard enough._

Bobby smiled at her, "How long do you think it will take you to confirm or deny the FBI protection?"

"That's a good question. I'd like to give you a firm answer, but the truth is that I don't know. When you research a lot of subjects, you can follow from point A to B to C and be ok. What I do is a bit different. I needed over 30 sources in order to put together what I gave you. Since I avoided primary sources, or going directly to actual people, it didn't take that long, but a lot of it is speculation."

She tried to explain a bit more, so it made sense since she could see confusion on a couple faces, "In order to confirm or deny any part of it, I need to start talking to my contacts. The information will come in as dribs and drabs, no one person will be able to tell me what I need to know. As I get each new piece, I consider it and its truthfulness and then either slot it in or hold it out as another thread that needs tugged. I have no control over how long it takes people to look up what I want them to look up, or to talk to who I want them to talk to. So giving you a timeframe would be foolhardy."

"I can say that I don't see it taking longer than two weeks to have a firm handle on what is going on. It will probably be less, since people always worked well with me, but I don't like to miss deadlines." Rachel stopped and waited, hoping that they understood what she was trying to say. _You can't hold me to this; you can't blame me if shit doesn't come in fast. If I'm going to do this, I'm doing it smart, not throwing myself into the abyss and hoping you guys catch me._

"About those contacts, you wanna give us any ideas how that works?" Jax asked.

Taking a breath, she tried to think of how to put it in their frame of reference. "Ok, so say you're looking for a specific part. You've checked all of the databases and your inventory and can't find it – which would be what I've already done for the information we have. Now you have to start calling junkyards and suppliers and hey, some guy heard that some other guy was selling one or knew someone who had one."

Taking a breath, she continued, "My contacts are just around the world, that's all. I have people I use in the banking systems for different countries, some who are excellent hackers, and others who are often placed in sensitive places around the world and have the ability to ask questions of people who would never speak to me, such as someone working in the black market or an ambassadors aide."

"I also have contacts in most of the law enforcement agencies. I want to be upfront about that. We're mostly friends, so when I ask and they answer, it is done very carefully and it has to be important. Unless I can help it, I won't be using them on the information gathering side of this. It's too easy to see me, see Happy, and then have the Sons," she said as she flashed a smile at Happy.

Tig spoke up, "Yeah, about that whole seeing one, then seeing us shit. How are you going to ask all of these people shit and not have them able to point someone else at us when they ask?"

"Very carefully."

"I think we could use more than that little girl. We need to know how far you're stepping out into the path of the bus if it comes rollin by." Piney chided her.

Giving him a grateful look, "You're right, I'm just nervous, apparently paranoia is contagious." Winking at Happy, she smirked at his glare.

"Girl, it ain't paranoia if they're really out to get you. Now tell us how you think you can manage to question all these people who will know your name and how to get in touch with you, asking the questions you're going to ask, and not have it come back on you if someone gets mad. I'm not going over the list again of who you're looking to piss off here." Happy leaned back in his chair and waited. _Pull my fuckin tail again, I dare you. You're going to stay safe if I have anything to say about it. And I do._

"Sorry, you're right. It is dangerous, and I'm not trying to make light of that, or your worry. There are a couple things that make it semi-safe. For one, I've worked with many of the people who know me as Rachel Taylor for almost 10 years and we're usually friendly, which means no one wants to get someone else in trouble. The ones I don't know as well, I usually use instant messaging programs or set up email accounts to exchange the information so that they can't trace me. The biggest thing is how I ask the questions."

"It's the difference between using a machete and a filet knife. Asking someone straight out to tell me what they know of Zobelle or about L.O.A.N. or their protection is like using a machete. It's blunt and harsh and will be painful and obvious if you miss. I use a filet knife. I ask delicate questions, such as asking a banking friend to look over an account for irregularities. Then I might follow that up with a question to someone in the Middle East who knows the underground weapon trade and ask if there are any good white power groups in America to buy from. If a question misses, it's a small cut, I'm not going to bleed to death and small cuts are much easier to hide."

She shrugged. "It's intuitive and I may ask completely different questions than that. I adjust to new information and steer clear when my gut warns me. There is always a chance I'm tracked back, but I make it as hard as I can while still getting the information. I'm actually really good at this. I made a very good living doing it for almost 10 years."

Juice spoke up, "Yeah I've been wondering about that, why'd you quit? You got mad hacker skills, seems like a small firm in Charming is a real change."

"That's exactly why. I needed a change. It was too easy to work constantly, to follow just one more thread, to ask one more question, to put one more puzzle together. I guess you could say it was like an addiction in a way. The year and a half off has done me a lot of good, but I still don't think I'll ever go back to it as a career."

Finally Clay looked up at her. "How is knowing any of this information going to help us? So we tell the FBI somehow that they're protecting a crook. Fine. Then what? Suddenly they investigate. Then they follow white power here to Charming. How is that going to help us?"

She could hear muttered agreements from around the table, but kept her eyes on Clay. Pointedly looking away, straight to Happy, she raised her brows asking for permission to speak. Lips twitching, he finally nodded and she looked back at Clay.

"Yes, that's what people see when they look at that report, and I don't blame them. I realize I don't look it, but I do have some experience with this type of thing. Which means I've spent time working on ways to make people disappear, without making it look like someone killed them to make them disappear." A cold smile made its way across her face.

"Here is my suggestion. I get you confirmation on the FBI and then I carefully get my friend at Homeland Security to call his friend in IA at the Bureau. His friend gets an anonymous packet of information, showing all of the connections he needs to shut it down, or at least make it so that they won't be able to respond officially."

"After I get confirmation that the information has been received and acted upon, and there's a contingency in case it's not, I let you know. Then Juice and I start making plans for Zobelle, his daughter Polly, and Weston to run when the investigation starts up. After all, they're criminals, they don't want to be caught. Juice and I plant careful threads showing how they escaped and after the Sons pick them up and you tell us, we hack into the appropriate databases and show that they used the route we set up."

"When they disappear … well, that's what they were going for, now wasn't it? We just need to be sure that identification is impossible and the remains are fully disposed of. I'm sure that won't be a problem. I have some ideas on that as well if anyone needs suggestions."

Clasping her hands in front of her, she smiled sweetly at the table and landed on Happy at the end. He had that dangerous look in his eye that told her he wanted her naked right the fuck now. Sending him a quelling one back, she managed to thank them and get the hell out of the room before someone asked her another question.

* * *

When the door closed softly behind Rachel, Jax blew out a breath. "Ok, so does anyone here think that she doesn't know what the fuck she's doing? Or that we can do that part of it better?"

Happy wasn't surprised that no one said a word, including Clay. _I gotta admit she had good answers. Pretty sure she practiced a bit for them too. Sly little bitch. Fuck._

Juice looked around again, with a slightly uneasy look on his features. "See what I mean about how it's creepy? She's so little and sweet lookin, and dressed nice. And then she says shit like that at the end. I asked her how she'd cut on Weston earlier today and she mentioned peeling his tattoos off. The fuck."

As heads turned to Happy again, he just shrugged. "What? She's got good ideas."

"Fuckin match made in heaven," Clay snorted. "We need to vote? Anyone opposed to Hap's girl going ahead with her plan?" Looking around, he said, "Fine, anything else to discuss tonight?"

"Yeah, I want her protected. I can't do it alone, and we'd fuckin kill each other if I tried. Someone has to be glued to her ass, keeping Weston away from her and watching for any other blowback. And whoever does it answers to me if Weston touches a single hair on her head. Fucker seriously creeps her out." Happy demanded roughly.

* * *

"I'm sorry, your name is what again?" Rachel stared unblinkingly at the young blonde man the next day.

"Half Sack ma'am. On account of only havin one nut now. Cause I lost the other in the war. I can show you if you … ACK." He jumped as a hand closed around the back of his neck and squeezed hard.

"You unbutton your pants around her and you better fuckin cut it off yourself, you'll enjoy it more." Happy growled in his ear.

Choking down a laugh, Rachel waited for Happy to finish his increasingly inventive threats to the prospect. Sensing a lull, she finally broke in before the kid passed out. "Happy. Happy! I'm sure he will never make that mistake again." Coughing to cover her laugh at the frantic head nodding, she said "See, it's fine."

"Go. I'll tell you when I leave."

Tugging Happy by the hand, she made him sit down in the chair next to hers as the kid scampered off. "And hello there Tall Dark and Silent. So I was wondering. Is all this time spent in the clubhouse lately a slam on how well protected our home is or your super sneaky ninja way of making sure I can't fuck with you most of the time since you're in Son mode?"

When all he did was look at her, she pealed out a laugh.

"Ok fine, but I did call an alarm company to get an estimate. I decided that if it meant I didn't have to go armed everywhere all the time, I could get used to punching numbers into a keypad."

"What makes you think you won't still be armed?"

Standing up, she huffed and started to walk away. Happy reached out an arm and wrapped it around her waist, bringing her down on his lap. "Stop. I have to leave soon. I probably won't be back until tomorrow."

Vulnerable blue eyes shot up to meet his. Swallowing, Rachel tried to hide her unease. "Okay, that's fine. I assume I'll have um Half Sack at the house then tonight? Anything I need to do special? I talked to Greg this morning and he agreed that I could have the next two weeks off unless he needs me to help with something remotely. He really is being so nice about all …"

Happy broke into her babbling. "Rach, slow down. C'mere," he said as he leaned back in the chair and tucked her closer. "Tonight you and Dog stay here in my old room. It's a Friday night, so there will be people here, but the guys will watch over you, Dog can be out here too if you have him alert. You keep your knife on you at all times until I get back. If you go outside to walk Dog around the lot, you take your gun."

"When do you have to leave?"

"Soon." _I'll miss you._

"I'm trying not to be a baby about this, I am. I'm just feeling really off with Weston and trying to balance everything." Trying to cheer up, she sat up and looked at him, "Peanut will really enjoy being here. I swear he has a doggy crush on the Sons as a collective whole."

_I will not turn into some sad woman who … oh shut up. There is nothing wrong with getting comfort when you're being stalked or doing something really stressful that has a fuckin lot riding on it. Go sit in the corner and come back out when I'm done getting cuddled._

Watching him nod to someone over her head a few minutes later, she knew what his next words would be.

"I have to go Rachel."

"Ok … you ride safe hear me? Only blood I want to be washing out of your clothes is theirs," she commanded as he set her on the ground and stood up.

Looking down at her, he suddenly gave her a real smile. "I know Rachel, I know. You too." _Bastard, I didn't actually try and get you to say I love you this time. Still, it's nice you knew what I meant._

Still smiling, he suddenly reached down and lifted her so that her face was a little higher than his. Squeaking, she started smacking him on the shoulders and mock yelling at him, "Happy Lowman, put me down! I am not a doll. You can't just move me where you want me!"

Wrapping a hand under her ass, he moved her enough so she could wrap those legs around him. "Kiss me goodbye woman and quit your screeching." Then he winked where only she could see it. _No one would ever believe me._

Arms around his neck and legs tight around his waist, she gave him a full body hug and whispered in his ear before she pulled back to give him a good kiss, "Be safe, hurry home, I love you."

Dark eyes stared at her for a second longer, tracing her face, before he kissed her hard once more and set her down on her feet. "Be good and stay safe," he ordered. Pointing at the prospect, he said, "You let anything happen to her and your grandmother will feel it."

Standing next to the kitchen door, she waited until he had almost reached Jax and Quinn. Fighting down a smile, she yelled out, "Hey Happy!" When he turned around and gave her his eyebrow, she gave up fighting the smile. "Stop at home and feed the cats. Since I can't leave." Then Rachel darted into the kitchen while listening to his brothers laugh.

* * *

"Gin." Piney laid down the cards and snorted at her expression. "Girl, you can't win at everything. I'd say the things you're winning at are plenty important, wouldn't you?"

Mocking ire and laughter slowly faded out of her blue eyes. "I hope so Piney, I really do."

"It'll be fine. There will be some drinking, some dancing, and for me, some naked girls tonight. You'll relax and then tomorrow you can start working. For tonight, no more unless you have to," he ordered.

"Yes sir," she teased. Then she listened as he told her about how the old days were and about JT and the things he missed now that he was getting old. He talked about how hard it was for Opie's kids without Donna and how much he missed her because she had always looked in on him, made sure he had food, even though he was a grown ass man and could do it himself.

Chin propped on her hand, she watched his face light up with life and all the expressions between joy and pain float across it. His gruff air reminded her of her dad, before he started drinking. It kind of made her miss him. At least the before version. Having grown up around people almost a half century older than she was, it was oddly nostalgic to get lost in his stories.

* * *

Sitting on the couch with Peanut laying on her feet, Rachel stared at the black haired man sitting across from her. "He likes you. You can pet him. It would make him really happy." She wasn't sure why Tig refused to touch Peanut, but she was determined to change it. Poor Peanut was going to dislocate a hip wagging trying to tell him it was ok.

Waiting patiently, she saw the sadness cross his eyes when they lingered on Peanut just a shade too long. She looked away and then casually worked the conversation, or monologue really, around to pets she had lost before. How hard it is sometimes to deal with it. How she had sometimes felt that pets were her only friends, because they never betray you. He never said a word and left when she stopped speaking, but later in the night, she caught his hand sneaking out to rest on Peanut's head, just for a moment.

* * *

Bored, because there is only so much you can talk about with an increasingly drunk crowd who really just wanted to fondle the mostly naked women lounging around on them; Rachel eventually migrated to the kitchen. After scrubbing everything clean she looked at the clock and groaned. It was hard for her to sleep without Happy, but with all the stress lately, it was almost impossible. She felt like she was laying there for hours before she dropped off.

Smiling at a girl in impossibly high shoes click clack her way into the kitchen, she wandered back out and tried to find something to do. After strolling past the pool table, where she knew she didn't have the patience, to the stripper pole and assuming Happy would have a coronary, she ended up at the bar by default, since that's where most of the people who weren't busy having some form of public sex were. Uncomfortable because she wasn't drunk and didn't really know anyone, even the brothers here tonight were the ones she didn't talk to that much, she finally asked Chucky if he'd teach her to bartend.

It was a popular idea. She learned how to make all sorts of things, even if they didn't have the stuff to make it. Rachel wondered how much bribery it would take Gemma to get Clay to allow it once in awhile. People were describing their favorite drink and how it tasted and what was in it and what happened last time they had it, and suddenly, she didn't feel so alone in the crowd. It wasn't really a place she would ever fit in completely, but if she could manage to be comfortable, life would be good.

* * *

Through all of this, she had Kip, the name she finally got out of Half Sack, tagging along behind her. He talked to her about boxing and a girl named Cherry that went to Ireland because of Stahl. She played him the recording and he laughed his ass off. She did eventually learn about his testicle issue, after promising him that she would never ever tell Happy where she heard it. She skipped the visual aid portion of the program.

"You run?"

"I haven't lately, but I did when I was in the Army. Why?" Kip asked her questioningly.

Rachel grinned at him. "Pretty sure you're my new guard. I'm gonna need a running partner. Hope you didn't let yourself get out of shape."

She told him that she had learned some boxing when she was younger from her father. That her dad had taught her the area to pinch on the neck/shoulder that if held long enough will cause someone to pass out. Someone overheard and demanded she demonstrate how it worked. Then someone else agreed. _Drunks are like lemmings I swear to god._

When she said she couldn't possibly use it on someone drunk, they happily volunteered up the prospect. Poor Kip looked a little scared, but he told her later it didn't hurt, you just started feeling woozy. She was just glad she hadn't damaged him, since if he was incapacitated when Happy returned, she didn't think he'd care why he wasn't doing his job, just that he wasn't.

When she finally went to bed, she thought she might just be tired enough to fall asleep.

* * *

Rachel was having a really great dream. A really really great dream. She was slowly being spread wide and a single finger was tracing her sex, dipping down to gather some wetness and then spread it all around. Over and over until she thought she'd go out of her mind anticipating. Then a soft hot wet tongue started slowly and gently sliding in and out, and up and down, and around. Slow pulsing sucking and an unbelievable heat as that tongue continued to slip around.

It was so slow and erotic that when she actually woke up, she didn't even notice. Whimpering quietly, she felt herself start to tip over the edge and softly moaned out Happy's name. Legs trembling with aftershocks, she slowly opened her eyes for the first time.

"Hap?" There was an air around him that was unusual. Like he needed to forget or remember something. Why he chose soft would have to wait, usually he went for hard and fast when he was worked up about something. "C'mere baby, lay down. I think it's my turn to work."

She slowly covered his body with hers as she ran kisses around his ears, whispering things she loved about him. Pulling back a bit, she took his mouth in a slow sensual kiss that was all slip and slide and wet heat. Waiting to see where he needed her, she slowly licked and sucked down his neck, making sure to keep it sensual and not sharp, while his fingers slowly caressed her from her neck to her thighs.

Feeling him tug her hips down over his, she raised up a little as he helped her sink down on him. His hands curved around her ass and hips as she slowly started to rock on him. Hands slipped from her hips up to her breasts and then fingers rubbed against her lips as she kissed the tips. Murmuring to him quietly that she loved him and she was so happy he was safe and came home to her; she slowly started increasing the intensity, but not the speed.

Biting her lip on a cry, wanting to keep things in that special place of stillness and peace they had created, she felt his thumb slide around her clit as he slowly started lifting his hips against her. Rocking harder, she leaned back and silently fell into a whirling abyss of black stars. Coming back to herself, she could feel him swelling inside her as he finally started to let go. Without a sound he spilled into her as he held her hips and arched, dark eyes glittering in the low light as he stared at her face.

Nestling close, she used his body for a pillow as she stayed connected to him. Feeling his arms come around her tightly, she wondered again what was wrong. Occasionally placing soft kisses on his chest, she waited patiently, knowing from the other times that this had happened that he'd seen something that touched him deeply, although usually it was anger or fear, even if he didn't call it that, driving it.

She had discovered that while Happy was really good at his job and rarely had problems with it, certain situations would bother him later, even if they didn't at the time. Children, a certain type of woman, and older people all affected him in different ways. The Sons didn't hurt children at least, so he was grateful that wouldn't come up again.

She had asked him once what he did before he talked to her about this stuff and he had laughed humorlessly before saying, "The same thing everyone does when something is too much, you drown it in alcohol and sex." She could usually tell how close to death he came on a job, not by his wounds, but by how intensely he loved her later.

"We weren't on a job tonight, just escort duty. It was a nice night, no problems. We were making great time." He paused for a long time. She was patient, pushing him wouldn't help. She just started rubbing her thumb softly against his collarbone so he could feel her listening.

"We had planned to stay over in the city since it was going to be so late. Catch a few hours, come right back. There was this shit motel, but cheap, on one of the strips. You know the kind, hookers coming in and out all the time." Rachel made a soft mhmm noise. "I was down grabbing something out of the vending machine and this guy walked up to this girl, a tiny thing."

"He reached out and just slashed her across the throat. I have no idea why, he never said a word. That wasn't it though. See when she fell and grabbed at him, he knocked her wig off."

Raising her head so she could see in his eyes, she had a feeling she knew what was wrong. "Her hair wasn't quite the right shade and she didn't look anything like you other than having blue eyes, but for a minute, all I could see was you lying there with your throat cut open and your blood flowing into the gutter." Feeling a hand raise and touch her head softly, brushing her hair back, her eyes filled.

Trying to push past the lump in her throat, she blinked the tears away as she leaned up and pressed soft reassuring kisses to his mouth. "I'm sorry Happy, I am. I know that would bother me a lot if it was reversed. I'm here though, right here, and I promise to live as safe as I can." His arms caught around her tighter and as he buried his face in her neck, she wondered how anyone could think he didn't have any of the softer emotions.

As he slipped them over to the side and spooned up behind her, even if he'd deny until his dying day that he ever 'spooned', she knew that when the cold light of day hit, he would be back to normal. If his eyes tracked her a bit more often or he stuck a little closer to her than usual for awhile, neither of them would ever mention it.

Teetering on the edge of sleep, with the warm comforting feel of Happy wrapped around her, she heard him whisper, so quietly she almost missed it, "I love you."

* * *

**Next up - The investigation, chatting with the boys, and a _very_ exciting party  
**


	16. Chapter 16

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 16**

Rachel wasted no time when she woke up on Saturday. Commandeering a corner table in the main room of the clubhouse, she sent Happy home for a black suitcase she stored in the office closet. Juice made eager puppy noises when he saw her unpack the laptop that she only ever used for this. It held absolutely no personal information, used a prepaid wireless card, and had software a hacker friend gave her for scrambling her location, among other things.

Letting that boot up, she pulled out a series of cell phones and chargers along with a couple power strips. Plugging everything in, she started mapping out who she wanted to talk to and assigning different levels of protection to each contact. Some would get a prepaid cell that she used to talk to friends while others would get burner cells assigned to them or messages posted on a board online. After figuring out how she wanted to start, she took a deep breath, and then grabbed a fresh legal pad and a phone.

* * *

"My ear hurts. Can I have a muffin?"

"It should, you've been on the phone for almost six hours." Bobby observed while smiling at her and pushing the plate closer in invitation.

"I may complain, but I'm having a great time. I love Charming and I like the work I do now, but I will admit to missing the thrill of the hunt," she explained. "Unfortunately it's giving Happy, what he swears is an ulcer, which is apparently why I'm somehow now living in this clubhouse unless he or Kip is with me. At least Kip will take me running sometimes."

"Well we're happy to have you. How's your boss handling everything?"

Groaning, Rachel felt bad again as she thought of Greg. "He's being wonderful, but I know I keep leaving him shorthanded. I've been helping as much as I can, but there's only so much I can do while I'm doing this too. Hopefully things will calm down after this is done and I can pay him back for his patience. If nothing else, I can always retire."

Twinkling at his shocked look, she winked at him. "I told you guys I was very good at this when I did it. I also charged some serious money. My house is the only thing I've really spent on since I got divorced and Charming real estate is very reasonable. I made some good investments before the markets started taking drugs and could live off the dividends and interest easily."

"Shit, why don't you? I would!"

"Yeah, but you have family and the guys and the road. I would go insane sitting in my house every day with nothing of substance to do. Maybe someday I'll take a leave from work and hop on the back of Happy's bike and we can just go. He can show me his world." Smiling at the thought and nibbling on an excellent muffin, Rachel's fantasy was suddenly interrupted by a cheerful Bobby McFerrin singing to her.

Bobby looked down at the phone and saw it was her normal cell, and then choked as he realized what he was seeing. "You have 'Don't Worry Be Happy' and a smiley face with blood running down it as Happy in your phone?"

Raising an eyebrow as she scooped up the phone, she winked. "Don't tell him, he hasn't heard this one yet. He made me get rid of 'If You're Happy and You Know It' … although he did like the picture."

* * *

Slowly pulling the pieces together, by the end of the first week, Rachel had a much better idea of what Zobelle was into. The odd thing was that either the separatist group was the best armed in the world, or he was doing something weird with the weapons. She couldn't find any revenue from them, but he clearly purchased them. Or maybe they weren't weapons and she was wrong. _It feels like weapons though._

Manuel in Columbia had denied that any white power in the area she specified were getting product. David had tried to track the drugs, what she was now assuming was heroin, for her, but kept losing it. Michelle picked up where David lost it and used her contacts in the Caymans to find the money for Peter to follow. Finally, a full 7 days after she started this path, she could confirm that L.O.A.N. and Zobelle personally were dealing in heroin that originated with The Dragon Triad.

Aviva in Israel said that she had heard of weapons heading to more than a couple white supremacist groups, but wouldn't talk further about it. Suspicious, Rachel trashed that cell and wiped any record of the persona she used when talking to her. Aviva hadn't used the code that said something was wrong, but the way she stopped talking was … odd. She made a note on Aviva's file and moved on. It only took a few days longer to find that yes; the League had been getting weapons from Hadad Sabra in Syria, but was displeased and looking to move on.

Trying to decide if she should put any effort towards that interesting new piece of information, she finally posted an inquiry and made a couple of calls to request some details, but decided that if she didn't hear back, it would be ok. Then she started pushing harder to find out how the FBI came into this. She was able to quickly find that Zobelle had been leading a fairly charmed life for the last 5 years. That didn't always extend to his group though.

_Which means it's not the group, it's the man … does he have something the FBI guy wants? Informant? Kinda risky considering the circles he travels in. Unless that's the point?_

If Zobelle was under protection and the League only peripherally, there were only so many reasons why. Focusing on that thought, she tapped into some friends who were great at digging through federal files. Giving them more than she was comfortable with, but knowing that she didn't have a choice, she set them to work.

* * *

Rachel smiled towards the pretty blonde woman who was playing Go Fish with Ellie. "She's good with the kids."

"Yeah, she is." Pausing, Opie looked at her seriously. "Can I ask you something?"

"Opie, you can always ask," she teased. "I just may not answer."

Grinning, he took another drink and then looked back at Lyla. "Why don't you ever treat her like a porn star? She told me that you never even seemed to notice. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, but I don't get it, she has sex with people on camera. Tara has serious issues with it and Gemma is just a bitch to everyone, but …" he trailed off.

Resting her chin on her hand, she looked at him thoughtfully, "Did I ever tell you I saw Lyla the first day I was in CaraCara? Instead of treating me as an outsider like a lot of the girls did or turning up her nose at me, she gave me the first real smile I got that day. Judging her would be a poor way to repay her niceness. Besides, someone has to make the videos we all watch, just like someone has to work at McDonald's."

"So it really doesn't bother you?"

"No." Carefully not looking at him, she bumped her shoulder with his as she got up and started to walk away. "Does it bother you?"

* * *

Rachel really hoped no one came in and saw her and Juice doing this. She was pretty sure it would be hard to live down, more for him than her.

Bored, and still waiting on Happy and Kip to escort her home, Rachel had been sitting in her corner at her makeshift desk trying to come up with something to do. Eyes landing on Juice, she suddenly had an idea.

"So Juice, ever play World of Warcraft?"

Turns out that yes, yes he did. She fetched her regular laptop and dragged it over to his table making him create new characters with her so they could hang out together. What's the fun in playing characters so far apart from each other?

"But I don't want to be a gnome. Male gnomes are … well … they don't fit my image Rachel. C'mon."

"The gnome dances are the best though! Don't you wanna dance with me?"

"That's why you want to be a gnome? C'mon, let me be a dwarf, they have the same starter area."

"Hmmm, I'm telling you, there is something to be said for a man so secure in his masculinity that he can pull off a gnome. Besides, the quest lines are different."

"Fine. Hey, he can have lime green hair. I can work that."

"I find my hot pink look to be adorable, but to each his own."

Two hours later, they were deep in Dun Morogh, after having finally agreed on characters and picking names that Juice insisted 'weren't gay'. She had lectured him on how she knew a lot of gay men with much more masculine names than say … Juice … but he just glared at her. Currently they were battling six wolves at once, up from two, after he decided that picking up the meat for the quest was going too slow.

"See, if you had let me be a dwarf, we'd have a healer!"

"Shut up and poke him faster, I'm out of mana. Oddly enough, beating him over the head with my staff doesn't seem to be doing as much damage as throwing a huge fireball at him."

"Hey, how do you know the wolves are male?"

"Well, I mean I didn't pick them up to check for danglies, but I think it's a good assumption. The designers seem to add huge tits to anything female, so …"

As a throat was cleared behind them, both heads whipped around with wide eyes.

"Hey." Twin embarrassed voices called out faintly as they saw Happy, Clay, Tig, and Kip standing behind where they were seated.

Hearing her character scream in death, Rachel suddenly turned on Juice and hit him on the arm. "I told you we weren't bad ass enough for that many wolves yet!"

* * *

Saturday night was going to be a big party. Knowing that they were going to need to pick up 3 people soon and not knowing where or what they'd face, Clay had been pulling people from nearby charters. It had been a full week, and Rachel was pretty sure she'd have the rest of it next week. Then she needed to contact Sam and fill him in on what she needed. She was estimating that the federal investigation would be started by the week after and she and Juice would implement the 'escape' plan.

So until then, the clubhouse and some of the guy's houses here in town would be hosting everything from Nomads to at least one guy it seemed from every charter within a few days ride. Apparently SAMCRO rarely needed a reason to throw a party, but this was going to be one like she hadn't seen before. Tara and Gemma tried to tell her what to expect, but it was definitely not like the other parties she had seen there.

Music, loud and pumping. The boxing ring being used almost continuously. A bonfire and some fires in oil drums. What felt like hundreds of people packed together. Rachel idly wondered if they had imported women from another town for tonight. She couldn't remember ever seeing this many sweetbutts, or at least that's what she assumed they were, they were dressed like one.

Oh Happy loved it. All the guys were having a great time, but it was so rare lately to see such a big smile on his face. The stress of the last month had definitely taken a bit of a toll on their attitudes, but until she saw it so blatantly pointed out she hadn't realized it was so bad. He had still made it very clear to her that she needed to have her knife on her at all times, but he seemed to relax a lot and even told Kip to enjoy himself.

She and Kip, because she refused to call him Half Sack, had become great buddies in the last week. Since his job was to basically follow her around and it felt rude to ignore him, they chatted in between her phone calls. He escorted her everywhere unless Happy specifically told him not to and had a bedroom in the house for now. Peanut was overjoyed, since Kip liked to roughhouse with him. She used to when he was a puppy, but now it was just unfair.

* * *

Walking outside to get out of all of the smoke, Rachel was still a bit amazed at all of these people. She had known, intellectually, that there were a lot of Sons and people associated with them, but she was told this was just a small get together.

Wearing a pair of jeans and a cami tank, she and Tara stood out quite a bit as the only women not flaunting. Even Gemma flaunted. No woman wears jeans that tight with heels that tall and a top that tight without flaunting. When she'd looked at Happy ruefully and said that she was sorry she didn't really have the right clothes, he had laughed and kissed the top of her head while telling her that he didn't want to have to kill his brothers for looking, so it was fine.

Wandering over towards the boxing ring, Rachel saw Cookie and a guy she thought was from Arizona going at it. Even though her dad had been into boxing and she knew that Happy liked it, it was never a sport she really found a lot of enjoyment in. Watching from a distance as Tara sewed someone's face back together; the appeal was simply lost on her.

Backing away when some people went to pass in front of her, there were a lot of disadvantages to being smaller than most, she ran into someone behind her. Turning and starting to apologize, she suddenly gasped as she realized who was behind her. _Fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck._

A.J. Weston, in a shirt and hoodie that covered his tattoos, was standing in front of her with a knife held to her belly. The quivering gibbering fear that suddenly leapt into her mind and paralyzed her was so overwhelming and encompassing, that for a few seconds she couldn't use any of her senses. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain and her eyes slowly left his face and looked down at the now slightly bloody knife.

"You hear me bitch?"

"I … I …" She started to stammer before he cut over on top of her.

"Move towards the gate, walk naturally. We're just going to be nice and calm or I am going to cut you badly," he said in a threatening whisper that somehow carried just enough to be perfectly clear.

Nodding, Rachel used the first few steps to deal with the pain that now seared through her as each step jarred the cut. Distantly she heard Happy's name called out from the boxing ring where it was apparently his turn. Thinking of Happy, she suddenly came back to herself. Pushing the fear, the enormous paralyzing fear, down into a tight cage where she could deal with it later, she tried to make a plan.

Happy would notice she was gone when he was done in the ring. She had told him she'd watch and kiss his boo boo's. He slapped her ass for making fun of him and told her that she better. So he'd know something was wrong. Now she had to make sure he knew what had happened.

She briefly considered screaming, but the blood running down into her jeans made that idea sound kind of stupid as she mulled it over. He obviously wasn't afraid to hurt her and by the time someone figured out they should be looking for him, he'd be long gone. So screaming seemed like a good way to get seriously injured or dead for no reason.

Pulling her knife was impossible since it was in a holster on the inside of the back of her jeans. It was a great place for it actually, but when someone has a knife to your back, you reaching back there seems like another good way to get dead. _So knife and screaming, both out._

Pretending to stumble to slow them down, the pain that lit her up when he yanked her back up almost made her scream anyway. The grip he had on her neck with one hand and the knife low in her back against her spinal cord were enough to keep her from trying that again. She still walked as slow as she could get away with.

"You have to slow down, I'm too short to keep up. If you're pushing me, it's not going to look natural." _Which technically God, is true, so work with me and throw me a little divine help if you're not busy right now._

Seeing Tig slap Kip upside the head out of the corner of her eye was almost enough to make her renounce atheism. Praying this didn't get her killed, she let Weston drag her enough so that she could 'naturally' fall forward onto her knees, causing what she hoped was enough of a commotion that one of those two would look over.

Tilting her head slightly and trying not to cry out when he pulled her up, she saw Tig push Kip towards the ring and stare at her. Looking forward again, she measured the distance between where they were and the gate. She needed more time. Letting her breath start to hitch, which in turn made that a lot fuckin easier since it hurt her stomach to breathe like that, she started holding her stomach and wincing with every step.

"You have to stop for a second, please. I need to catch my breath, please." _God Happy please hurry, the gate is so close._ This time she wasn't lucky enough that either her glance around or her delaying tactic weren't noticed. Or he was just an asshole.

Yanking her up and slicing her back open, he hissed in her ear. "Walk or I'll leave you lying here and you'll never walk again." _Well that's a pretty clear threat._

They were just out the gate when he suddenly whirled them around. Biting back a scream as both her back and front were suddenly on fire, she tried to see what was going on through tear filled eyes.

* * *

God this party was needed. He and Rachel were both struggling under a heavy load of stress. She was trying to close this all as fast as possible while still balancing the need to be anonymous. Gemma had been over a few times and he'd caught Rachel telling her that she had to fuckin tell, they deserved to know, before they both clammed up.

He was feeling chained, even though he knew he wasn't, not really. Turning down special jobs, he was sticking close to home just working at T-M and escort shit. He didn't want to leave her too long with just a prospect for security. Quinn had stuck around and moved back into the house yesterday, but Cookie ran up to Tacoma for a week.

Happy was doing his best not to pick fights with her, especially since she was still feeling so guilty over all of this, he knew it'd take awhile until the crap he put her through a couple weeks ago was gone, but it was hard sometimes. They were used to having their own space and doing their own thing. It bothered both of them to feel like they had to check in with the other constantly. She didn't want to worry him and he couldn't leave without seeing all of the things that could happen in his head.

So tonight, he was feeling no pain. Drinking straight from the bottle and loving the time spent with his brothers. Enough people tonight knew who Rachel was that if she had any trouble with any asshole she could call out, plus he knew she was armed. Tonight was for relaxing and enjoying life again. Beating the piss out of a snot nosed kid who thought he was hot shit from Texas was just a bonus.

Taking a hit to the face when Half Sack suddenly appeared on the edge of the ring holding the ropes with a frantic look on his face, he suddenly had a cold ball in his stomach. Throwing the punk off of him, he yelled for Quinn and Clay, and then followed Half Sack.

"What the fuck's going on?" _The fuckin gate, we're heading to the gate._

"Tig and I saw Rachel being walked towards the gate by this tall white guy, couldn't get a look at him. She's hurt, blood on her hands from where she had been holding her stomach. Tig sent me for you, he's watching, but I think the guy is holding a knife on her," Half Sack hurriedly explained from behind him as he powered through the crowd clearing a path.

"Get as many Charming brothers as you can find in the next couple minutes and move them this way. Get fuckin Tara ready too," he ordered as he caught sight of his girl's hair almost to the gate. _Thank fuckin god her hair is a beacon._

"Tig, what the fuck?"

"Man, he's got a knife against her back, I'm not steady enough to shoot him and know he'll go down without slicing her spine open or that I won't accidentally hit her." Tig explained quickly, "She tried to slow him down a few times, but I think he cut her again for it."

Roaring internally, everything but the need to get his woman away from Weston slipped away. Pulling his gun, he walked quickly up behind them, trying to get close enough to guarantee his aim. _Way too much fucking tequila tonight to aim a gun anywhere near Rachel. Fuck._ As if the fucker knew that he was coming, he suddenly turned around and shoved Rachel in front of him.

_Oh god girl. _Seeing the blood on her hands, he knew she was cut at least once and her black tank looked wet near the bottom. He wasn't even sure she saw him there was so much pain in her eyes for a second._ Don't cry Rach. Fuck._ Trying to push everything away, the rage and the fear and the guilt, Happy slowly brought Killer out and slipped him on.

"You weren't going to shoot me now were you? That seems like a good way to get this woman paralyzed." _Motherfucker, I am going to kill you so fuckin slow you're going to want to go back into time and kill your mother so she can't conceive you._

"We have a doctor on site, pretty sure it'd be ok. Besides, she'd be alive still, and you'd be dead. Works for me." _Put that knife to her neck, give her a fighting chance._ "You can live with a severed spine after all." He heard someone gasp behind him, but he could see the glimmer in Rachel's eyes that told him she was thinking it through. He got a quick hard smile when the penny fuckin dropped.

Seeing her close her eyes and bite down on her lip so hard she almost drew blood as that dead fucker cut her again, he desperately wanted to get that fuck away from her, but he needed her to help. He knew where her knife was on her and there was no way she was getting to it before he killed her. Shooting him was something no one was going to get close enough to do without it being a huge risk for Rachel.

Looking into her now wide open tear filled blue eyes that were looking at him with so much trust he almost shot himself, Happy scrambled for a plan. _Oh fuck that's risky. And it mostly depends on her. FUCK._ Knowing the longer this drug out, the shorter her life expectancy got, since the guy had to be wearing a vest and could just run after stabbing her, Happy stared straight into those eyes and tried to communicate that she was a tough bitch who was going to make him proud.

Putting his gun up made bile churn in the back of his throat, but he did it. Glancing back, he told Quinn, Clay, Jax, Half Sack, Tig, Bobby, and Juice to do the same. There were a lot of incredulous looks, so he shot them his meanest glare and told them if they didn't, he would shoot them himself.

"Look man, just let her go, walk away. You know tonight isn't going to end the way you wanted. Just … go. She's just a girl man … you don't need to hurt her anymore." Almost unable to say the last word, he finally forced it out. "Please."

Happy was hoping that this fuck was vindictive enough to do exactly what he did next. As Weston started to shift his body to bring that knife up to Rachel's throat, she suddenly beamed Happy a bright brilliantly joyful smile that looked so out of place in this situation that it was ridiculous.

She waited until Weston had that knife almost at her throat though, making him almost fuckin piss himself, before she moved what looked like her entire body at once. Rachel's hands came up to twist the knife arm as her body twisted away from the blade and her foot came up to slam the back of his knee to knock him off balance, while she balanced on one leg for a long second before swinging behind him.

Taken by surprise, the fucker let her get away with it a fraction of a second too long. She used her entire body, now moving with as much force and momentum as she could build up, to shove his wrist and forearm behind his back at an angle. The crack of what sounded like his shoulder dislocating or a bone snapping was followed by a scream when she pulled the knife out of his hand and sliced it deep across the back of his thigh.

Starting to move in to help her, knowing that she was running past empty and seeing the back of her shirt was cut up and blood leaking out, he got two steps closer and was pulling his gun when Weston grabbed her arm and threw her out into the guys standing with him so her flailing body was between him and the guns being pulled on him. Rachel slammed into the ground as Weston ran with bullets and brothers chasing him.

"Rachel ... Rachel … goddamnit Rachel, look at me, open your fucking eyes!" _ You're fine goddamnit, just fine. Open your eyes. Please._

Happy thought that when those pretty blue eyes opened, it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. _I don't care if every brother from here to the other coast knows either._ Hearing Tara push through the crowd and Clay and Bobby start shouting to let her through, she smiled up at him while he pushed her hair off her face gently.

"Happy?"

"Yeah girl?" _Yes, to anything._

"Can we not invite the white supremacist that's stalking me to the next party? I had a great time til then." Then she passed out.

* * *

**Next up - Things get both better and much worse  
**


	17. Chapter 17

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 17**

The next few days were brutal for Rachel. Oh her body was healing just fine … she was even starting to move a lot easier now. The problem was Happy and his fuckin brother dwarfs. _Does that make me Snow White? Wasn't she taller than the dwarves? I should really sit down and assign them names. I'm pretty sure there isn't one called Pervert though, so Tig might be an issue …_

The first day or so she hadn't really noticed it, because honestly, she didn't want to get out of bed anyway. Her black suitcase was set up nearby, but she was under strict orders not to initiate anything, just answer if someone got back to her. Rachel was perfectly fine with those instructions and completely agreed that it was a good idea since Percocet made her a fucking space cadet.

_Not a good idea to be doing something that delicate on drugs. With your fucking luck, you'll start singing 60's songs to someone. Or mortally offend them. I wonder if singing a 60's song would mortally offend anyone? Is that even possible? They're all so damn cheerful._

So yes, she was being given orders that she kind of understood were orders, but since they were all couched as suggestions that really, she completely agreed with, she didn't mind. At first. That lasted for about 24 hours while she did her damndest to imitate a sloth.

When she had woken up the next day she had stumbled out for some coffee before her shower only to find Happy, Quinn, Cookie, and some new blonde guy sitting at her kitchen table. She had no idea where Kip was. As soon as she came into view, Peanut was up and dancing, but apparently he was the only one that was happy to see her.

"Get the fuck back in bed." _Yes, I have such a caring lover. So tender and sweet._

"No. I feel fine to be up and I want coffee before my shower."

"Then I'll bring you some damn coffee, get back in bed Rachel. Don't make this shit worse."

Gritting her teeth against the pain and his attitude, she had leaned down and kissed the top of his smooth head. "No. But I love you too."

That's when she learned, after he stopped laughing, that the new blonde was from Tacoma. Kozik had ridden down with Cookie when he learned she had been attacked. Hearing that Cookie raced south, she dropped a kiss on his grey head too.

And then it all went downhill. Suddenly the fact that she was an adult female in her 30's, who was quite capable of doing things on her own and had been living on her own for a number of years was tossed out the window. _They do realize they're all in my house, right? The one I bought and paid for by myself, thus proving I'm a big girl?_

* * *

She tried to be pleasant, she did. The first day or so. As the sun slowly set on Day 4, she was starting to glare and twitch whenever she saw a Son. All it took to get the side of her tongue was a kutte. Being a bitch without cause was something she wasn't particularly good at usually, because she almost always felt bad later, but apparently Gemma transferred it to her by osmosis or something.

Stomping, as gently as possible so as not to jar her wounds but still make her damn point, out to the living room, she surveyed it with narrowed eyes. What felt like all of the mighty and fearsome Sons were arrayed in her living room on couches and recliners with beers in their hands and the movie Fast Five playing on the TV. When Happy glanced over at her, her face must have reflected some of what she was about to say, because he did his best to get over to her before she opened her mouth. _I don't think so, not this time._

"As much as I love you all, and I'm even becoming quite fond of you Kozik, I don't want to see any of you tomorrow. I just called Gemma, Tara, Luann, and Lyla. They will be coming over to keep me company and it will be a male free zone, with the exception of Peanut and Abel. Since neither of them can talk though, that's acceptable."

Holding up a hand and glaring to indicate she wasn't finished when Happy started to tell her she was fuckin insane if she thought she was going to be in this house or anywhere else without protection, she went on. "I am assuming that someone will have the most boring job in the world tomorrow … sitting on one of the many chairs that are outside."

"Damnit Rachel, not gonna fuckin happen." _Aww, he looks mad._

"Damnit Happy, the fuck it isn't." _See, I can play too._

Leaning back against the wall, Rachel waited patiently. Happy crossed his arms and glared at her. Chibs, Cookie, Bobby, Quinn, Opie, Kozik, and Jax looked at one, then the other. Like it was a tennis match, only the players were just standing on the court and not doing anything.

Rachel had made a strategic decision to do this in front of the guys. Normally she wouldn't dream of challenging Happy in front of anyone, let alone Sons, because she knew how pissed he'd be. It's much easier to negotiate if the other party doesn't want to shoot you. This time, she wanted them all to hear her fucking point, because they were just as bad about some of it. She also wasn't going to fuckin negotiate. This was still her life.

She knew she would win this eventually. Staring at Happy with a blank expression on her face, she tried to keep from screaming at him. Rachel understood, she really did, that it was scary for him. But she had to live too and she needed a break from his attitude. Finally she came up with something she thought might get through his thick skull.

Looking him dead in the eye, she said seriously, "I send you off into danger all the time. Actual honest to god, he came home with a knife wound or a bullet hole in his shirt, danger. And I send you off with a smile and a kiss, regardless of how worried I am, because that's who you are, and that's who I love. I am not some weak helpless woman, and I will not allow myself to be treated as less than I am. I know better than you what would happen if he got a hold of me."

_Is that a glimmer of comprehension? _"So who do you think I am? Life isn't always safe. It sucks, but there it is. If I can deal with the worry and fear and everything else that comes up when you go to work, you can fuckin learn to deal with this temporary situation. I have never, not even once, suggested that you do something safer. Grant me the same damn courtesy."

"I will accept that there needs to be guards until we can get to Weston and Zobelle. I can even try to accept that you're being a fucking asshole 24 hours a day and snarling and biting at anyone who annoys you or breathes wrong. Because I hope it'll fuckin pass. But this? You're giving me this. I want a day. No Sons. No one tells me what the fuck to do. I already told all four of the women I'd cut them if they tried."

Keeping her eyes on his, she let all of the resolve that some of this bullshit needed to end shine through. "Don't make me feel weak Happy."

"That's a low fuckin blow Rachel." Happy's hands had come up to rub the back of his head. _Fuckin finally, Jesus. _

"Fine. Guards outside, one on each door. They won't come in." He finally spat.

"Thank you. Also tomorrow? Go for a motherfucking ride and clear your damn head. Figure out if you're blaming me or not. This bipolar shit you're doing needs to fucking end. I'm tired of being coddled one second and kicked while I'm down the next. I've got enough to deal with right now." With that, she turned on her heel and left.

* * *

Happy knew she was right; he was acting like a dick. He was torn between feeling guilty and furious that she had gotten hurt. He knew he was blaming her and making it all worse, but shit. The fear would just come up and choke him and then he'd be furious at her all over again for making him feel this way. Beating the fuck out of Clay hadn't helped with the rage at all.

_Damnit. Does she really think I'm making her weak?_ _Is this how she feels when I go out for a job? How the fuck can she live like this?_

That didn't mean he had to like her calling him out in front of his brothers though. _The fuck Rachel?_ She knew she was backing him into a corner when she did it. Manipulative bitch.

* * *

Her Girl's Day was a success. While she wasn't stupid enough to go bouncing all over, she did enjoy the freedom of getting her own soda from the fridge or holding Abel. It was nice not to listen to everyone fuckin worrying over her and having them talk about things happening outside this damn house.

She even managed to get everyone to play nice together. Pointing out to Tara and Gemma that they didn't get her flowers, she suggested being friendly to Lyla instead. Gemma still acted the bitch, but she acted like that with Rachel and Tara too. It was practically a stamp of approval across your ass. Luann was Luann.

The Queen even managed to fit a dressing down of her own in there for ambushing Happy in front of the other guys. She told her to mind her own fucking business and to hand her another cookie. Tara was proud of her at least. Then Rachel had wondered out loud if she should start calling Tara Princess. She took Abel back as punishment.

The release of tension was amazing. A full day of people being nice to her, not because she was hurt, but because they actually liked her. A full day without Happy treating her like she had done something that personally offended him. She was getting really tired of that. She barely had enough emotional energy to deal with her own moods right now, she didn't have much to spare for his.

Tomorrow she was going back to work on Zobelle.

* * *

As if to make up for how shitty the rest of her life was going, her work on Zobelle and his merry band of racists was coming along quite well. Rachel didn't have all of the answers, but she was pretty sure that she would before the weekend was over. _I almost made that two week self imposed deadline … next time I'll try not getting assaulted._

Happy was still being an absolute bastard most of the time. Because it had hurt her at first when he moved at night, they had moved to their own sides of the bed, instead of laying together in the middle. He had barely touched her in days, unless he had to. She could feel it all going wrong, but she couldn't seem to stop it. She had tried being bitchy, being understanding, being … well fuck, she had tried almost everything to get through to him.

That first day he had seemed fine, but as the days passed, he was getting worse. Really hurtful comments were coming out of his mouth on a regular basis now. She had heard that this was all her fault, that she should have had her knife where she could get to it. He had told her that she was too curious for her own good, for anyone's good, that she should have known better than to get involved in shit like this. Then he said that he should have known better than to bring someone like her around. That one stung. A lot.

Gemma told her that it would take time, that men are pussies when they're scared. The big problem with that solution was that she wasn't a normal woman. Rachel did not handle rejection from loved ones well. Her trust was a very easy thing to fracture. You don't get many chances to majorly fuck up. She was still upset about the weekend after he found out about all of this.

So having the Zobelle investigation move along nicely was a soothing balm to her tattered emotions. She could still do this. She didn't need to count on anyone else, it didn't matter what they thought. As the weekend drew closer, she pulled her emotions in tighter and tighter until she was wrapped in a cloak of indifference where nothing anyone said could touch her, let alone hurt her.

* * *

By Saturday, she was down to a couple phones and her laptop. Her questions on the new gun dealer were still floating out there as well, but the answers to those would be posted on a message board she could check from almost anywhere. Rachel was positive that she could get the rest of it by the end of the weekend.

She had been very quietly fighting panic since there was another party tonight at the clubhouse, but Kip, finally showing up with suspicious bruises on his face that he wouldn't tell her about, was assigned to never leave her alone. Rachel had a fairly good idea of what those were from, but didn't press the issue. It was really none of her business.

No one would get within three feet of her if they weren't known. She should stay inside at one of the tables. She should always sit with Half Sack. There was a guard on the gate making sure people were known to the club in some way. She was to carry her gun and her knife should be in the front, he didn't care how much of a pain it was to sit when wearing it there.

On and on the instructions went until, if she had really cared, she would have screamed. Instead, she just sat there with a calm blank face and waited until he finished. Rachel knew why she couldn't stay home; her house was harder to defend than the clubhouse, and tonight this place would be a fortress, especially with all the Sons on alert. When Happy finally ran out of breath or things to tell her to do, she simply said that was fine and walked out of the room.

* * *

Rachel never noticed anyone looking oddly at her that weekend. Oh, she was polite to everyone. She was even semi-friendly. But she wasn't Rachel. She didn't seem to mean anything she was saying, it all came out flat. None of her smiles reached her eyes. When Piney, the only Son other than Kip to talk to her, expressed concern, she simply patted his hand and changed the subject.

Happy, caught up in his own shit in his head and needing a night of drinking, never noticed any of that. It only occurred to him on Sunday that something might be wrong when some blonde with tits falling out of her shirt was pushing up on him and Rachel walked by without a second glance or a word.

* * *

Early Sunday afternoon, she finally had the information she needed. Special Agent James Whitaker had placed Zobelle on his confidential informant payroll. Apparently he knew about Zobelle's dirty dealings, so now she had to revise the plan. If the FBI had documents showing that Zobelle was into all of this, then someone somewhere had approved it. Her plan wasn't going to work. The FBI would be more interested in who sent them the information; they would need to protect their informant.

So, tucked away in a corner of the clubhouse, since there was some kind of thing going on, she leaned forward and rested her elbows on 'her' table and propped her head up with her hands. There had to still be a way to force Zobelle to run. Rachel knew there was an idea hovering just out of reach. She could feel it.

Trying to slip into a meditative state where hopefully that idea would float on down into her consciousness instead of taunting her, she closed her eyes and tuned everything out around her. Momentarily startled when she was able to shut it all out within seconds, indicating how closed off she was already, she spared a thought for how unhealthily she was handling this shit with Happy.

Feeling the sharp pain that accompanied the thought of him, she immediately forced it out of her mind, picturing the ocean and losing herself in the gentle sound of waves while watching the swells crest and fall.

* * *

Quinn had been watching Happy fuck this up all week. He was actually surprised Rachel let Happy get away with treating her like that as long as he had. And now she wasn't fighting back like he would have expected. She just nodded like she agreed and then walked away. In fact, he couldn't remember her fighting back last time Happy did this shit either.

Quinn wasn't sure how long Happy was going to ride this train, but he was of a mind to blow up the fuckin track before he hit the point of no return. He had seen his friend happier than he had been in years with this girl. She may not be inked yet, but there wasn't any doubt in his mind that those two loved each other fiercely.

He was pretty sure Rachel was still inside that blank emotionless husk. It was like she was protecting herself and wouldn't come out until it was safe. _What kind of life has she had that she can turn it all off so easily? How long does Happy have before it's too late?_

* * *

When Quinn sat down at her table, Rachel didn't notice. She was running scenarios through her head, hoping one of them would be both believable and workable. So far, they weren't. They either sounded to her like they'd be easy to see through or that Zobelle would just ignore it, or it exposed her in such a big way that she may as well save them the time and cut her own throat. _C'mon, I know there's an answer, there is always an answer._

When someone touched her forearm lightly, she almost screamed. She did jump and glare.

"Hello Quinn, may I help you with something?" _Shit, there went my concentration. I know it's there … what about … _

"Just wanted to check in on you darlin," he replied.

_Grrr, I'm fine, don't I act like I'm fine? I can even move without flinching much for gods sake. _"I'm fine, thank you for asking, that was sweet."

"I didn't mean physically Rachel." Quinn gave her a pointed look. "What's going on with you?"

_Seriously? Go fuckin ask Happy. He's your friend after all, I'm just his … girlfriend I guess. Something. _"Not much, just working hard on this Zobelle thing. Really, I appreciate you checking up on me, but I need to work on this information I have." She shot him a tight smile and tried to convey impatience and a complete and utter lack of willingness to discuss how she was 'feeling'.

"He's just scared. Seeing someone you love bleeding is hard." Quinn tried. _C'mon Rachel, give me something to work with._

Giving him an incredulous look, she replied flatly, "Oh. Well, I'm sure it is. Oddly enough **I** seem to be able to handle it. Does that mean I don't really love him?"

_Fuck, that was a stupid thing to say, dumbass. _"No, and you know that's not what I was trying to say. Hap, he's always been so emotionless. But with you he's all emotion, all the time. And you're so good for him. He's been happy. I think when he sees you in danger or hurt, all of it comes crashing down and he just freaks out a bit."

Face closing up again, Rachel made a humming noise. "That's an interesting observation. Doesn't bode well for the future though does it? After all, life is hard. I'm bound to run into some kind of danger or pain again at some point. Does that mean this is just going to keep happening because he can't seem to process his own emotions without taking it out on me?"

Shrugging, she looked away from Quinn and down at her hands, now folded on the table. "Right now, I need to work on this information and get Zobelle tied up. I'll make a decision about Happy later."

"You're going to try and talk to him first, right?" Quinn was alarmed now, that sounded ominous.

"I have tried that, repeatedly. My sense of fair play will probably kick in to listen to what he has to say, if he has something, but honestly, I'm not expecting much."

For just a second as she glanced up at him, Quinn could see tears and a world of pain in her blue eyes before she pushed it all away again. "He has been cruel and cold to me for something that I couldn't avoid and never asked for. When he hovered, it was to help sure, but every time he did, a jab was thrown out about how I shouldn't have been hurt in the first place. He hasn't seemed to care how I was dealing with this at all. He certainly hasn't asked."

Taking a deep breath, Rachel gave Quinn another tight smile. "Again, thank you for your concern, but really, I'd like to be alone now to work on this."

Getting up, Quinn wondered if he should beat the fuck out of Happy now or later.

* * *

Rachel was frustrated. Quinn had completely broken her concentration and now she couldn't get back to where she was. Walking to get a drink and noticing Happy had a blonde on his arm, she nodded internally. She really should have seen that coming. She had thought he'd be different. Well hoped. It hurt to know she could be wrong. Another mistake in judgement maybe. It seemed to be her thing. _Oh yes bitterness. Hello my old friend, will you be staying long? You tempt me into thinking shit I know isn't true ... I know Happy doesn't break his word.  
_

Sitting back down, she stared at her cell and slowly, not sure if this was still the way she wanted this handled, picked it up and made her check in call. _For now. There is still a chance, a slim one, but a chance. I can't just give it all up … not yet. When that chance is gone, I'll figure out what to do with this. _

Swallowing down a lump in her throat as her composure cracked momentarily, she wondered what she was going to do. Oh she'd survive without Happy and all of this. She could survive almost anything, and this wouldn't even go into her top five disasters. Rachel thought that maybe after this Zobelle thing and if things didn't work out with Happy, maybe it would be a good time for a change.

Charming was a beautiful town, but there were a lot of beautiful towns in America. Or even the world. She didn't have to stay here; she had enough money to go anywhere and live. She could learn a new language even. _It's not the same as when you were younger, you're not trapped and you can escape. You have resources and you're strong enough to do this if you have to. You have options. _

It still felt like Freddy Krueger was digging for her heart.

* * *

When Quinn growled at him that they needed to talk outside, Happy was still wondering what the fuck was wrong with Rachel.

He knew he'd been a dick this week, but he was there. He didn't take off like he wanted to … get away from all of this shit. He stayed and dealt with it. He didn't get drunk and lose himself in pussy like he **really** fucking wanted to do. When she had walked by and didn't bat an eyelash after seeing another woman pressing herself against him, when before this shit with Weston she would have started hissing like a pissed off alley cat, he didn't fuckin get it.

What the hell was she pissed at him for? Now that he thought about it, she'd been particularly cold and bitchy the last couple of days. He couldn't think of anything that had changed so what the fuck? That time of the month? She usually got a little bitchy, but not like this. Fuck this shit.

* * *

Quinn was wondering if he was insane or had a death wish. Stepping in the middle of this was stupid. But every time he looked at Happy, he remembered that the man was as emotionally developed as a child in some ways. He didn't seem to know how to deal with shit without anger.

Maybe with a different woman that would be ok, but Rachel didn't seem like she was going to put up with it. She didn't even seem like she was going to fight it. Just let it go and walk away. _No fuckin clue how she can do that, but I really think she will._

So insane or suicidal, it didn't matter. Happy had been his friend for well over a decade. Man knew things about Quinn he'd never tell anyone else. He had been there when his wife took their kid and split, never calling again. Quinn hadn't seen his daughter since she was 4. He had put up with Quinn raging for months every time he got drunk, repeating the same shit over and over. For that, and so many other things, he'd do this.

"We gotta talk brother. Now."

"Bout what?"

"Just fuckin come on."

Happy pushed the blonde off and opened his mouth, and then seemed to think better of what he was going to say. Quinn caught a split second glance at Rachel with a confused expression on his brow, to make sure she was safe, and then Happy followed him outside.

Leaning against the counter in the garage, after making sure no one else was around, Quinn looked at Happy. Really looked, seeing the stress lines and the dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep. _Fuck let this work and not backfire._

"So looks like you're shopping around for fresher pussy. Figured it'd only be a matter of time before she bored you. Was surprised that she lasted this long." Quinn got most of the second sentence out before Happy came at him. With the third, his head was snapping back as a vicious uppercut came across his chin.

"The **fuck** Quinn? Don't fucking talk about Rachel like that, you know better. Christ, what the hell is wrong with you?"

Quinn stopped rubbing his jaw and looked at Happy, "Oh so that's not what this is? You driving her away so you can get free without any hassle? Sure looks like it to me and everyone else." _Fuck he's scary when he wants to be, he's practically vibrating with rage.  
_

"You don't know a fucking thing, stay out of it." Happy growled.

"Well I could, but I'm pretty sure you're fucking it up so bad that by the time you realize it, she's going to be gone."

"What the hell are you talking about? So she's been bitchier than normal and I know I've been a dick, but …" he stopped when Quinn stared at him incredulously and then laughed.

"You aren't fuckin serious. You are not that dumb Happy, are you? If she wasn't distracted by this Zobelle shit she's doing right now, I'm pretty sure she'd be thinking seriously about ending this clusterfuck with you. I'd be fuckin worried about what to say when she does come to you, because if you tell her what you just told me, she's going to just nod and then she's going to walk the fuck out of your life. How can you not see how tightly wrapped she is right now?" Quinn ranted while throwing his hands up in the air.

"Man, I get that you don't always get women, or shit like that. You haven't really had that much fuckin practice, and you hang around with guys who mostly treat them like shit. You've had to really stretch yourself sometimes to do this thing with Rachel, and that's great, but this thing you keep doing where when you're scared or worried and you use her for an emotional punching bag has to end. I'm pretty sure you're on your last chance. And honestly, she doesn't deserve to be treated the way you're treating her." _Please fucking listen to what I'm saying brother. _

Turning his back to Quinn and thinking furiously, Happy stared at the bench, where it looked like someone was rebuilding an alternator, and tried to understand what he was saying. _She wouldn't leave, right? She'd fuckin say something before it got that bad. But she did ignore the blonde, and she has barely spoken the last day or two. She did say once that she let everyone fuck up one time and if she could see they were trying, maybe a second. When I asked if it was three strikes you're out … No, she knows ..._

Head down, Happy blew out a breath. "I don't know that it's as bad as what you're saying. She should have come to me if it is. But I do see how she's been acting, and I do know I've been an ass. What the fuck am I supposed to do though? I can't seem to help it, every time she reminds me of that night, I'm furious all over again. Seeing her lying on the ground bleeding? Fuckin scariest thing I've ever seen. And Weston is still fuckin out there. She's still not safe." His voice had started out calm and quiet, but by the end he was almost roaring.

"I don't know Hap. I do know that if you don't do something soon, you're not going to be able to do anything. Could try fuckin tellin her this shit. She might appreciate knowing what the hell is going on. To her, you're just being cruel for no real reason. I suggest you consider how she acts when you come home bleeding. Does she give you shit about it, tell you to change your life or blame you for getting hurt?"

"You do realize that **she** was the one who was attacked, right? How's she feeling about it? Was surprised when I saw her on Saturday night, she seemed gun shy around everyone. Thought for sure you guys would be hanging around her, keeping her company and making sure she felt safe, but other than Piney and Half Sack, I didn't see anyone talk to her. The men are fuckin taking their lead from you. She talkin to anyone about how she was almost carted off for god knows what and then sliced up? Or she just dealin with that herself?" _Are you hearing me asshole? It's not always about you._

"Just stop Quinn. I get it. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I fuckin get it, ok?" _I hope so my friend._

* * *

**Next up - Happy faces Rachel and a plan is conceived for Zobelle  
**


	18. Chapter 18

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

******Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content. **  


* * *

**Chapter 18**

Happy was still standing in the garage a little over an hour later, in almost the same position. Recognizing the steps behind him as she came near the door, he swallowed heavily. Nerves were rippling up and down his spine as he had finally comprehended the seriousness of the situation.

He had spent the last hour running through the entire week, hell most of the month, in his head. The shit he had said, the way she had slowly shut down, fuck, the shit he hadn't said. He had remembered what she said to him after that weekend when he blamed her for landing them in this mess, 'I'm trying to understand Happy, I am, but I can't allow you to treat me like this again.' So maybe he did get a warning.

"Happy, I'd like to go home. If you're not ready, I can ask Kip to escort me." _How did I not hear how proper her fuckin tone has gotten? She only does that when she's mad or hurt. How did I hear bitchy instead? The fuck is wrong with me? How the hell could I have said some of that shit to her?_

"No girl, I'm ready. I think Half Sack is going to stay here for awhile, you and me need to talk." As he finished speaking, he turned around and really looked at her. Other people might think she looks cold right now, but he can see the fuckin hurt he caused now that his eyes are open. Her body is damn near screaming at him to fix it but the wariness in her eyes made him wonder if she'd even let him try.

Alarmed, her eyes opened wide. "What happened now?"

Not stepping any closer, because trapping Rachel is a good way to get shot, he grimaced a little and sighed. _I want to hug her. No fucking way she'll let me close enough for that right now._ "Nothing girl, nothing new happened. But I think maybe I've been too wrapped up in my own shit lately to see what's been happening all along."

Her body took an involuntary step back before she was able to control her reaction. Remembering the day at CaraCara when she stared that DEA agent down, he felt a shock of pain run through him when he realized that she never stepped back from that asshole, but she did now. From him._ Fuck tell me I didn't hurt her more than he did._

Looking up at him with serious eyes that held a combination of wariness, hurt, mistrust, and a tiny bit of hope, she said quietly, "I don't know if I'm interested in a conversation just yet about that Happy. If you have something to say, I'll listen, but I'm not promising anything. Not right now."

He dropped his head and nodded before looking back at her. "It's not my first choice, but I'll take it. If you're ready to go, I'd like to drive you."

"But … you never drive me. You're never without your bike Happy." Her eyes were now confused and shocked. It was a better combination than the other one, but it still made him want to tear out his heart and hand it to her. He had a feeling that wasn't going away anytime soon.

Trying to smile a little, he held out his hand for the keys as he slowly walked closer. "No, I don't. But I should have been this week. I know I've been an asshole. I'm sorry you've gone through this so alone Rachel, fuck … let me drive. It doesn't change anything, make up for anything, I get that. But let me do this for you."

"Alright," she said slowly. He could tell, even with her head and eyes down that she was confused still. He knew he wasn't acting normally, even for days when he wasn't being a dick, but he had a feeling that if he wanted to fuckin fix this, he needed to show her he was sorry, not just say it. He was going to need to tread a thin line for awhile, trying to do that, but not overdo it, since that would piss her off more.

Rachel was an actions girl. Words don't mean anything if you're not backing them up. _And I'm sure I want to fix this. It's been good until this shit rained down on us. We're both struggling right now. But I think when this is over, that the way we were? That's the way we are. This, this is temporary. We've both been under so much fuckin stress this last month and I haven't made it easier on either of us._

Taking the keys from her hand, he risked sliding his palm against hers. When she looked up at him, he twisted his wrist and held her hand, waiting to see what she'd do ... waiting to see if she was willing to give him a chance. Uneasy eyes flicked from their entwined hands to his face, but she finally, after what felt like forever, nodded faintly.

* * *

Quinn had been sitting at the picnic table since he walked away from Happy earlier. He told himself it was just because it was a nice night, but he knew he really just wanted to keep an eye on his friend. You never know how Happy will blow, and he's volatile about Rachel anyway, has been since the first time he laid eyes on her. _My fuckin chin can attest to that. Shit._

So he was there when he saw her stiff back pass him, her shoes clicking sharply against the blacktop as she walked to the garage where she must have seen Happy. He couldn't hear anything, he was much too far away, but he could see. He saw Happy flinch when he turned around. He saw her posture stiffen even more and one of her feet move as if to be ready to run away. He watched Happy's form slowly move closer to hers and reach out.

Then he watched as Happy held her hand as he walked her to the car, closing the door softly, before driving them off the lot. _Maybe he won't fuck it up completely after all. Give him a chance Rachel, please._

* * *

Going into the cool quiet house, Rachel went to change and then came back to the kitchen, looking at Happy for some idea of what he wanted.

Swallowing and wishing this wasn't so fucking hard, he dropped his eyes. "I know this might be asking too much, but … fuck." Pausing and trying to figure out how to say it, he finally went on, "I know you said you didn't want to talk tonight, and that you'd just listen, and that's fine. I was just hoping we could …"

Breaking in, because she knew what he wanted and thought it might be easier for both of them, Rachel just said, "Yes." The relief on his face would have been comical if it hadn't been so sad. How did they get here? In so short of a time?

_She always knows._ "Do you want to go outside or … ?"

"Let's go out on the patio. It should still be nice out there for awhile." Careful answers for careful questions, both afraid of ruining this fragile peace before it had a chance to root. Grabbing some water for them both, Rachel followed Happy to 'their' chaise.

Settling himself, he lifted a hand up to help Rachel down so she didn't pull anything. Gently adjusting her until he could tell she was comfortable, he tipped his head down into her hair and took what felt like his first real breath all week. _Apricots._

Waiting quietly, because she had meant it when she said that she didn't know if she would talk tonight, Rachel heard his intake of air and closed her eyes briefly. His lack of support and the anger turned on her this week had been both frightening and heart wrenching. Her heart just wasn't as resilient as it seemed most were. She'd see friends fight, seriously painfully fight, and go back time and time again. It never made sense to her. If someone hurts you, on accident, it's forgivable. But if they keep doing it over and over, at some point you have to stand up for yourself, you have to walk away.

She knew she was damaged, that she walked away much earlier than most. The only reason she and Anthony had stayed married for so long was that in the beginning he was gone a lot and by the time the fighting and drug use started and she realized that it wasn't going to work, there was no way to escape the crushing debt he'd secretly built up.

It had taken her two years of working 16 hour days to work into the 'bloodhound' business as he had called it, and as soon as she made enough to pay shit off, she was gone. The instant her marriage ended in her mind, she was gone emotionally. He had trapped her into staying using their finances and then used every emotional blackmail trick in the book to get her to change her mind. She didn't.

Rachel couldn't be trapped financially anymore. She had made damn sure of that. But she could still be held by her emotions. So before any decisions were made, before she tried to trust him again, she needed to be sure. Sure that it wasn't just words. That things had changed somehow. Otherwise, she may as well save them both a lot of time and energy.

* * *

Knowing how much was riding on this, Happy tried to clear his mind. Breathing Rachel in, he closed his eyes and just started talking … hoping he got the words right.

"I want to say I'm sorry about how I've been treating you, but I already did that a few weeks ago. I can say that I'm sorry for not learning the lesson then. I know apologies only go so far, but I am so fuckin sorry Rachel."

"I could tell you some reasons why, but it doesn't make it right. That when I looked at you on the ground that night I thought my heart would stop. That when I got you home and washed the blood off of you while you were asleep, my hands were shaking. That I still wake up in the middle of the night, too late to stop him from taking you." He didn't even bother trying to stop his arms from tightening around her as the images went through his mind again.

"I've never felt like this. My Ma lives a quiet simple life. I wish she weren't sick and I love her, but … she's had a long life full of love. My brothers, they choose this life every day. I've seen friends go down before, more than one, and it never felt like it did that night. You though, you somehow exploded into my life and pushed me into feeling something completely different."

Taking a breath and staring sightlessly into the yard, he tried to explain. "Every time you needed help this week, or I saw how much pain you were in … all I could think of is that it was my fault, that you almost died because you came into this life with me, even a little. That it's still not over and I could still lose you. Then … fuck … then instead of just letting that go, of trying to get past it, of being grateful that you were still here, I let myself get angry about it. I blamed you for making me feel, because it had never hurt like that before."

"You're a smart woman, I'm pretty sure you've worked out a lot of the reasons why I've been such an asshole, but I know that doesn't make it any better. I'm sorry I hurt you, that I hurt what we have over shit like this. If I could go back in time and change it, you know I would, but I can't."

"I could tell you all of those things, and I could apologize until that sun rises again tomorrow. But I don't think it's going to help. I want to promise you that I won't ever do this again. Rachel, you have no idea how much I want to make you that promise, but I can't. I'll fuckin try, but I won't make you a promise I don't know that I can keep."

Feeling her tighten up again, he dropped his forehead against her hair and closed his eyes. "Girl, we're human. We're probably going to fuck each other up occasionally. You are not always going to be perfect and know how to fix me when shit goes wrong. I'm sure you'll hurt me at some point. And Rach, god … I'm so far from perfect that it's a joke. But I can promise to try and do better."

"You are so much stronger than I am. I tried not to think about it, but until you laid it out for me this week about how you send me off into fucked up shit with a smile and a kiss … it never really hit me. And I'm sorry for not realizing it. I'm fuckin grateful that you understand and accept me the way I am, that you've never tried to change me. I can barely function without falling apart or killing someone after this. I need you."

Rubbing the top of her arms, he paused for awhile before he went on, pushing out the words he knew he had to say, swallowing hard and praying that she would work with him a bit, because she was going to have to bend too. Yeah, most of this could be laid at his feet, but she had to give him room to fuck up and work it out with him, not run like he knew she had been planning. He had realized that in the garage too.

"I worry though, that because you protect yourself so much that I'm going to fuck this up and not get a chance to make it right. Because I'm going to screw up Rachel. We've talked about our past relationships … I haven't been in one since I was a teenager. One night stands and casual shit for 20 years. My Ma and Pops were great together, but since then I've mostly seen friend's parents or old ladies who lived this life."

"I'm not going to stop arguing with you or fighting you when I think you're wrong. That's a part of who we are, part of how we communicate and fit our lives together. Trying to stop that would fuck us up just as fast I think. But this thing where I take shit out on you instead of working through the damn problem, I will work on that, I give you my word."

Stroking her soft skin, he bent his head and put his lips near her ear. "So I need you to think about all of that. I'd like another chance, to show you that I can do better when it comes to this shit. That I'm sorry I need that chance in the first place," he paused slightly and then went on in a huskier tone.

"I know I've said it a hundred different ways, but Rachel, I do love you. You deserve to hear the actual words. You always did, but I was having fun watching you work the angles. I'll give you time if you need it, I promise, but I'm not going away and I'm not giving this up without a fight."

* * *

Rachel had felt really uncomfortable when she first sat down. After a week of almost avoiding touch and longer than that dealing with the stress of this situation, it felt unnatural to be so close to Happy. Being so angry on such a deep level didn't help either. She tried to consciously relax before he really got started though, because if she wanted to know what he was going to say, she couldn't make him feel self conscious before he even opened his mouth.

He spoke slowly and haltingly, signs that from him showed that he was trying to put a lot of thought and effort into what he was saying. The language he used was even more thoughtful than normal. Happy would never be an eloquent off the cuff speaker, but she could tell he was trying. His first words proved that he at least understood where the real problem lay.

Tears had filled her eyes when he said that his hands shook that night. Happy had rock solid nerves; he had to for the life he led. She hadn't realized it had affected him so deeply, or that he was having nightmares. She knew he was often awake when she rolled over, which always woke her up these days, but he had never said anything. Just looked at her with those dark eyes that seemed to shine and glint in the moonlight. She really wished he had told her.

So she listened and considered what he was really saying. A part of her, her instinctual core, wanted to say yes. To turn around and hug him and say yes of course she forgave him. She really did believe he was sorry. She could hear it in his voice, feel it in his body. He would never lay himself open like this if he wasn't. Rachel had known in the back of her mind why he was doing it, it just hurt too much to get the distance she needed to ignore him while he got his shit together. So even with all of the pain he caused, part of her wanted to say yes, I forgive you.

But the part of her who had been beaten by her biological parents before she could even read, and the part that had her adopted father turn on her when she was 8 to drink his life away and abandon her in the process, and the part that had a friend betray her so badly that it shattered her life and created something dark in her, and the part that had been trapped in a marriage by financial and emotional blackmail … all of those parts kept her silent, looking over the pool and towards the trees.

Hoping her voice didn't crack, she finally said her first words since they had gone outside. "I love you too Happy. I'm not going to talk tonight, but I did listen closely and I do believe you're sorry. Thank you for understanding that I need some time. I will do my best to stay open minded until we can talk." _Which won't be until after Zobelle is wrapped up, so show me before then that you really do want this._

As she finished speaking, she felt his chest exhale and his frame relax, like he had been holding his breath. Then, he lifted her by the thighs and pulled his legs closed, nestling her on top of his lap.

Feeling her stiffen, he said, "I … Maybe this is too much Rachel, but … fuck … I really would like to just sit out here for awhile. I know it's my fault that we haven't spent any time together … I've missed you, I'd really like to hold you." _And I don't fuckin care how that sounds. Not right now. First damn time I've felt like myself in weeks. I need this. I need her.  
_

Pulling his arms tighter around her and moving a bit so she was more to the side, she tucked her head in his neck as an answer. _I missed you too Happy, even when I didn't want to._ Giving up when she couldn't blink the tears away anymore, she finally let them fall. She knew the exact moment he realized she was silently crying, because his entire body seemed to curve around her.

She didn't wake up when he gently carried her to bed two hours later, after finally crying herself to sleep.

* * *

Gasping, Rachel suddenly shot bolt upright in bed. Then moaned when her stomach and back protested. Loudly. Scrambling for the pad of paper and pen that she kept next to the bed, she winced again when she moved too fast.

Freezing in both surprise and panic at the touch on her hip, Rachel suddenly heard her name being called. _Happy, Jesus. _

"I'm sorry for waking you up, but I really need to write this down before I forget. I think I solved it," she babbled.

Pulling her back with that hand, he rolled out of bed and walked around to her side before sitting next to her. "Here, I'll put it back when you're done." Flipping on the small light, he handed her the paper and pen.

Scribbling frantically, she did take a moment to appreciate that he had gotten this for her and then didn't ask what she was doing. _I really do love him. You said you'd try Rachel. You're never going to get anywhere unless you try. You don't have to give him a lot, but he did lay himself open wide earlier._

Hesitating, but slowly gaining speed as she threw herself out there, Rachel said, "I discovered today that the FBI knows about Zobelle's drug and gun business. He's a confidential informant, which isn't something I really considered for some reason. Now, it feels obvious, but I guess I never imagined that they would close their eyes to something this big. One thing to overlook a couple charges, but this is … well … big."

"Anyway, so I found that out today and then tried to figure out how to force him into 'wanting' to run anyway. I figured if I didn't come up with anything by tomorrow, then I'd tell Clay and Jax and let them chew on it for awhile." She ignored the very faint hurt look that came when his name wasn't included. _I am not going to feel guilty for the fact that he's been avoiding me._

"I thought I almost had it today, but I couldn't seem to relax enough to let it come to me." Now she looked up at him and fought her blush down for letting him see her cry. "Thank you for earlier … and for putting me to bed since I apparently fell asleep on you."

Taking the notepad from her and setting it back on the nightstand, he reached out and ran his hand up her jaw and into her hair. "That was long overdue, and you never have to thank me for that. I want to be there. I didn't mind you falling asleep, means you could relax with me still. I think we both needed that." _I kind of want to protest that I'm not that skittish, but I really can't. At least he realizes it too.  
_

Leaning down and kissing her on the forehead, he turned out the light and walked back to his side of the bed. Climbing in, he paused and then moved his pillow and resettled in the center of the bed, watching her face. He wasn't pushing hard, but he obviously wasn't going to just let things go on as they have been. Biting her lip, like she always did when she was nervous, she slowly edged closer to him. He reached for her almost immediately and tucked her carefully against his body. Laying her head on his chest, she very cautiously turned her head enough to ghost a kiss onto it before falling back to sleep.

Happy felt her body relax suddenly into sleep, like a switch was thrown, highlighting how tense she had been. Sighing, hoping that he didn't fuck this up, that he'd be able to ride the line between pushing her and still giving her time, he lightly stroked his thumb against her hip as he stared into the darkness and listened to her breathe.

* * *

**Next up - Plans are approved and laid **


	19. Chapter 19

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

**Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content.**

* * *

**Chapter 19**

To say Clay and Jax weren't initially impressed with her plan was a bit of an understatement.

Waiting out the snarls and recriminations, although only a few came her way, which was nice, she calmly folded her hands in front of her. When she felt a hand rub against her thigh gently, she sent Happy a faint smile. Initially she had planned to do this alone, but she couldn't see any reason to do that now other than to hurt him, and Rachel didn't believe in hurting someone you love just because they hurt you.

Once they seemed to remember that this was a discussion and not a football game where the ref screwed the call on pass interference, she was able to slowly tease out their objections. She knew this plan would work. It exposed her a bit, yes, and that was unfortunate. But the very nature of that exposure gave her some protection.

She was going to tattle on him. Or more specifically, she was planning on taking all of the information she had gathered on Mr. Ethan Zobelle and his activities, the guns and drugs, the white hate he was affiliated so closely with, and then she was going to tie the FBI protection and being an informant into it.

Rachel was then proposing that they give that to the court of public opinion, the American news media. A friend of a friend worked for the Associated Press as a stringer. The hardest part would be the fact checking, but Rachel was sure that enough of it could be verified to vilify Zobelle. The fact that the FBI was protecting him would create a huge scandal, the white power connections alone guaranteed that. With the media able to claim protection under the Constitution, her identity could be held back.

However, even if it wasn't, if Linda couldn't keep it a secret, then after Zobelle 'fled', if someone came looking for her, she'd admit that yes she looked into him and sent the information out. He was threatening her, but the cops couldn't seem to do anything. Guess we know why don't we? Wink wink.

This would work. The timing would be tricky, but it would work just as brilliantly. A man like Zobelle would have an escape plan already in place but with news like this hitting, that he was an informant, everyone would be out for his blood and his plans would be compromised. So the route that she and Juice made wouldn't seem unusual. That actually made this 'new' route more believable.

As long as Linda agreed to let her know when the major outlets picked it up, print or television, and she and Juice were quick and thorough, and the guys picked them up quietly … then this was good.

It just took her awhile to convince them.

* * *

The clubhouse was really crowded lately with all of the out of town guys and the extra women that always seemed to come with them. She did wonder where they all came from though, was there an agency or something? _You will not ask them if they are camp followers. It's rude. _

Sitting at the bar, Rachel talked to Chucky about his money laundering experience, trading tips with him, until Tara and Gemma finally arrived. Gemma somehow took one look at her and did her creepy little smile thing and said, "Good, I was hoping he'd get his head out of his ass before I had to fuckin step in." Rachel just rolled her eyes.

While Gemma wandered off to do Queen things, which is what Tara and Rachel had dubbed anything that consisted of Gemma yelling orders at the other women, Rachel asked Tara if she was ok. She was looking a bit pale.

"Yeah I think so. My stomach has been upset lately, but," lowering her voice, "hearing about a plan to kidnap and murder three people will do that to a person."

"I know you don't agree with the plan. I'm sorry it has to be like this."

"It doesn't Rach, you guys could …"

Smiling sadly, Rachel watched as Tara tried to come up with another way. "There are probably other ways. This is the safest all around, for everyone. Other than being in lockdown and on call for any wounds our guys may pick up, you probably won't even notice what's happening."

Tara looked at her thoughtfully. "A long time ago, I realized that you're different inside than what anyone would expect. But how can you just be ok with all of this? With the women and the danger and the killing?"

"I'm not going to tell you exactly why, but mostly it's because I seem to look at the world a bit differently than a lot of people. The women don't bother me because I have Happy's word that it's only me, as long as we're together. Even when we're fighting, I've never truly believed that he would break his word to me." _Well as long as I'm thinking clearly and not being Bitter Rachel anyway. Bitter Rachel is pretty bitchy._

"The killing doesn't bother me at all. It's not like they're going out and slaughtering innocent babies or mild mannered banker types who've never done anything wrong. If you're going to play with the big boys, then people need to pay the price when they screw up."

"The danger …" Rachel trailed off with a grimace. "That's the hardest one for me Tara. I kiss Happy and send him off with a smile, because I hope that if a moment ever comes where he has to fight to stay alive, he'll remember that. That he has something to come home to, someone who loves him."

Tara frowned. "Gemma told me once that, 'you love the man, you learn to love the club', but even growing up around this shit I can't get past it sometimes. I love Jax, god do I love Jax, but there are times I hate the club. I hate how it turned the sweet mostly innocent boy I knew into a killer. That because of it, he's doing things that could kill him or send him to prison for the rest of our lives." Tara was staring over the bar into the mirror, where Rachel could just see Jax in Church.

She leaned against her friend and put her head on her shoulder. "Maybe it's because you knew Jax as someone innocent, because you grew up together, that you see the possibilities of what might have been instead of what is. You can look at him and see him as someone distinct from the Sons."

"Happy and I aren't like that. Before we got involved with each other, I knew what he was, what he did, at least in general terms. There was this whole long talk thing we forced ourselves to do. If I hadn't been able to handle what he did and the club, or if he wasn't willing to give on some things, then we wouldn't be here now. I can't look at Happy and not see a Son … it's as deeply embedded in him as his love for his mother. He wouldn't be the man I love without it."_ Even if I am still pissed at him._

Rachel smiled and stood up, squeezing Tara around the middle before she left. "So Gemma's saying doesn't work for me. I love the club because I love the man."

* * *

When the vote finally passed, Rachel and Juice got to work. He started to figure out what countries would be good for Zobelle to run to, based on his history and the laws on extradition. They were using him for research, since he'd be the one calling the shots.

Rachel called Julie who called her friend Linda at the AP to introduce her as a source. Linda sounded interesting, like an old school New York private eye you see in the movies sometimes, only female. A raspy voice from smoke damage and a gruff attitude actually made Rachel quite comfortable. _Gosh, I wonder why._

Once she explained what kind of information she had and dropped a few hints of the kind of data she could send, Linda was very interested in hearing more. Rachel gave her a couple of facts she could verify, ones that held just enough promise that it would hook the journalist. She hoped. If that was the case, then Rachel made a deal that she'd email the documents if Linda held her name back and notified her when the news was about to hit the main media outlets.

Finally finished with covering her ass, she went to work with Juice on planning the fake escape route. Taking into consideration the type of men and woman that were running, they planned something comfortable but not ostentatious. They seemed more Hilton Hotel than hostel types. Zobelle had some connections to Budapest that Juice had dug up, so they focused on that as a final destination.

While Juice planned out how he wanted to plant the information in the target systems, Rachel started writing a script that would automatically go back into the same systems and show that the three runners were actually checking in on planes and in hotels before poofing into thin air. When they heard that it would be hitting the public, the entire thing would have to be executed carefully.

The club would need to snatch and run with them, with a separate team making sure that it looked like they ran and didn't get kidnapped. What woman runs without her purse? Were they running so fast they couldn't pack? Did Zobelle have any information on the Sons that they would need to destroy? A safe might be a problem, but she was pretty sure Happy could get the combination out of them if needed. It's not like they had arrest warrants out, they could use their own names. At least until they "disappeared".

While Juice checked over her work and she checked his, both making minor adjustments, she didn't think they had missed anything big. There could still be bumps – a plane running late or god forbid someone not getting snatched, but everything they could control … it looked good.

* * *

By 1am, Rachel was having trouble focusing and her head was starting to throb. The house still had a number of guys staying there, with Kip now on the couch since Kozik kicked him out of his room. She had happily ordered pizza and retreated from the very loud, very excited men watching football to her office when they got home.

Looking up blearily, she saw Happy standing in the doorway. "Hi there." _Even when I'm upset with him, he makes my heart beat faster. He may be an ass, but he's still my ass._

"Hey little girl … you about done?" he asked as he moved farther into the room to stand behind her.

Whimpering a little when his strong hands started rubbing her shoulders and neck, she looked at the list of notes sadly. "Maybe a couple hours worth left."

Startled when he picked her up out of the chair and carried her away, she immediately protested. "Happy what the hell, put me down! I just told you I wasn't done."

"You're getting a migraine. I can feel it in your neck. You can finish it tomorrow. It will all be fine Rach. But you have to take care of yourself." Happy had continued walking as he talked, so by the end they were in the bedroom.

"Happy, I should really finish …" She began as he set her on her feet and started to unbutton her shirt.

"Girl, look at me. Please." Looking up, she was startled to see the worry on his face. "You were injured not that long ago, and then I fucked with your head. This plan has a lot riding on it, and you are already OCD about shit like this. You have to got to take care of yourself."

Rachel was aware she was staring dumbly and as hard as she tried, she couldn't get the confused look off of her face. "But …" _I should argue about this, and I would, if I could think of words. Out loud._

"Look, I said yesterday that we're still going to fight. If you keep pushing yourself, I promise you, we're going to have one over this. You need sleep. You need to get rid of some tension before that migraine blows up. Fuckin work with me a little. Lay down with me. If you really can't sleep, then I'll let it go for now." _But I know damn well you'll be out as soon as I start rubbing that pretty neck of yours. I doubt you last more than a half an hour even if you fight it._

It took less than 10 minutes.

* * *

After all of that frantic planning and preparation, suddenly everyone was just … waiting.

Waiting for the journalist to take the bait.

Waiting for Rachel to send the information.

Waiting for the text that told them when to act.

* * *

While Rachel and Juice were going over all of the technical shit yesterday, Clay was looking to make sure that they didn't step on their dicks when it was time to pick the assholes up. Took fuckin forever, but he finally got Unser to find a way to get that prick Weston's kids out of the house. Since he was sending Happy in after him, he was pretty sure they'd get smoked if they got in the way.

Happy wasn't going to be fuckin around with this guy. Rachel was still too damn … nosey … pushy … something, but she was pretty much part of the family at this point. And she made the Killer happy. Someone who could fuckin crack that hard shell had to have something special goin on. Happy had laid him out in the ring over this goddamn mess and he couldn't even fucking blame him. Shit, that could have been Gem, he completely got it. Gemma was still seriously pissed about him sending her into Zobelle's place.

He had put Jax on Zobelle, Tig on the daughter, and Happy on Weston. They'd each have a van and guys to work with. Quinn was in charge of the clean up team, making sure it didn't look like what it was.

Puffing on his cigar, he really hoped this went off alright. That the fucking teams would do their jobs. This was more complex than their usual shit and it had to be timed just right. Rachel and Juice would be here waiting to do the computer shit, along with all the Old Ladies, girlfriends, and kids. If shit went south in a big way, he didn't want to be fuckin scramblin trying to get everyone here. Piney and Chibs would be in charge of security, freeing him and Elvis to deal with any fuckups that might occur.

Now, if they'd just get the word. He had people keeping an eye on them, but the longer they did, the more likely they got caught doin it. Brothers ain't ninjas.

* * *

Rachel used some of the wait time to pin Gemma down about the rape. Normally she would never advocate doing this to a survivor, but this wasn't a usual situation and luckily, Gemma wasn't a typical woman. She hated herself for it, she wanted to be nice and sympathetic and ease her into it, but they were almost out of fucking time and Gemma kept stalling. Soon the option would be gone.

She had been around these guys enough to know that their need for vengeance was as deep as hers. Not being able to exact that revenge … it burned in you. It made it hard to move past it. She liked Gemma and Jax a lot, and even had the thought that maybe Clay wasn't such a dick before this happened. Maybe. Rachel did know it had put a hell of a strain on their marriage.

Gemma eventually agreed that once everything was in place, that when they were picked up without problems and the computer bullshit, her words, was done, she would tell Clay and Jax. That she hadn't yet because she didn't want the club to go off the rails. Rachel apologized for pushing her and then told her she'd make sure she and Happy hadn't killed Weston yet in case they wanted a turn.

When Gemma looked at her startled, she simply stared back at her. _ Did she think that was a joke?_

* * *

Everything they could think of had been handled. Now, they waited. A day passed, then two more.

Insisting that she needed more rest than she'd been getting since she was still healing, Happy drove her home for a nap. Things were slowly settling back into normal for them, although the subject was still an open wound that they were avoiding. They both knew that now wasn't the time for a deep discussion; they had to stay focused on the Zobelle plan. Until then, Rachel was doing her best to stop closing herself off while Happy was doing his best to talk to her about the shit in his head.

Rachel really wasn't sleepy, but she did want to spend some time with Happy, so she didn't argue. Once he started moving her towards the bedroom, she convinced him that he should come lay down with her and tell her stories. Cuddled into him, he told her about his Pops and some of his teen years, and she giggled at the story of him losing his virginity where he felt he gave a less than satisfactory showing. Apparently he had to grow into his studliness.

He told her how he had felt when he first met her, how he had tried his damndest to stay away, but that he just couldn't. That she had made him feel like a damn teenager and that he practically obsessed on whether he should ask her out or not. She told him that even with their problems, she loved him and wanted this to work, wanted to trust him, that the months before Weston had been some of the best of her life.

Conversation slowing naturally, she looked up into his face, so close to hers, and remembered that first kiss at CaraCara. When her eyes left his lips and she saw the familiar heat burning in those almost black eyes, she could see he was holding himself back, needing her to make the first move._ Love is not safe. Take the risk or not? You know this is about more than a kiss._

Gently and making sure not to stretch too far, she finally pulled his head down to hers. Time passed in a gentle haze of long kisses and soft sounds. Soon sliding tongues and knowing hands made them both quietly desperate to reconnect, reaffirm. Trying to find a position that wouldn't hurt her, he eventually leaned against the headboard and lifted her on top of him. Helping him move her legs so that they wrapped around his waist, she gasped when he slowly went up onto his knees and sank back on his heels, her weight pushing him even deeper inside her.

His hands cupped her ass, supporting her weight, as he slowly rocked up into her, keeping it slow. She let Happy set the tempo, since he was literally holding her up. Rachel used her lips and teeth to lick and gently bite his neck and shoulders, loving the groans and softly whispered words she was pulling from him. Then she felt him press her pelvis tight against him and start to rotate his hips in a circle between strokes as he watched her face intently. Biting her lip and shaking as the heat running through her suddenly spiked, she desperately tried to not to arch like her body was demanding, moaning when he leaned forward and kissed her deeply.

"I love you Happy," she murmured against his mouth as her eyelids slowly closed and her entire body started to shudder. She spared a split second to thank god for endorphins so that the pleasure overwhelmed the pain that the movement cost her. Feeling his arms tremble and his hands dig into her ass as he tried to hold on, to let her ride it out, she leaned down. Placing her lips to his ear, she softly ordered him to let go, to let her feel him coming with her. The groan of her name sent goose bumps rippling down her spine as he pulled her tight against him and pulsed inside her. When he buried his face in her neck, she gently stroked his back and shoulders.

Slowly catching her breath, she finally raised her head and leaned back a bit to see his face. They were still tentative with each other, but the softness in his eyes, the attempts to let her in his head, and the tactful way he was making sure she was taking care of herself had soothed some of her anger.

For the first time she was hopeful that they'd get through this together, that this wasn't broken, just bent and stressed. Leaning down to suck his bottom lip and smiling at his mock growl, she helped him rearrange them until they were lying down and she was firmly held in his arms. She was pretty sure they could both nap now.

They both knew things weren't magically better. They'd still have to talk when all of this was over, but for now, it was enough.

* * *

A few nights later, Rachel's eyes opened abruptly. Unsure of what had woken her, she smiled as she felt Happy wrapped around her body. Picking up his hand where it was draped over her breast, she kissed his palm before scooting carefully to the edge of the bed.

"Rach, what's wrong?" His sleepy voice was shiver inducing, the rough rasp with the soft edge of sleep always made her smile.

"I heard something, or at least something woke me. I wanted to make sure it wasn't my phone." Finally reaching the edge of the bed, she grabbed for her cell phone and gasped. Hearing Happy sit up behind her, she turned slightly and looked at him.

"Linda sent me a text. CNN and USA Today have picked up the story. She says her friend at CNN confirms that unless something major happens between now and tomorrow morning, it will be the lead on the morning news."

* * *

**Next up - A lot of shit happens. There's blood too. You're not squeamish, right?  
**


	20. Chapter 20

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

**Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content.**

* * *

A/N: So remember in Chapter 2 where Hap thought Rachel and a knife was the hottest thing he'd ever seen? If that squicked you out at all, you're going to want to skip a portion of this chapter. I marked the spot to stop and start, that whole section in the middle is um … bloody. And there's sex there too, quite a bit of it. I'm giving you a fair warning.

* * *

**Chapter 20**

Jax stared at the body on the ground, and then back at up Tig.

"The fuck Tigger?"

Glaring as he answered, Tig tried to explain. "Look, we had the girl, you guys were gettin her old man in back. There's a fuckin knock on the door, and we keep her quiet. Then someone," Tig leveled a lethal look at his group, "apparently didn't lock the door behind us and he walked right in on us."

"I was coming around the corner and didn't see it until it was too late, his neck had already been snapped. That's a fuckin risk we took bringing in people who didn't know all the players. He couldn't have fuckin known that this was going to screw us." Tig kicked at the body a little and listened to the girl cry harder.

"What the fuck was Edmond fucking Hayes doing here anyway?" _I really want to fucking know how the hell this happened._

Tig waved his hand nonchalantly at Polly, "According to her, they're in looooove. Or you know … were."

Jax held up a hand for a second. _Fucking think. Nothing to be done about it now, we'll take three bodies with us instead of two. Just one will be dead. And he'll be the son of our fuckin weapons supplier. Clay is going to stroke out._

"Ok, load em up, someone grab Hayes and stick him in as well. I'm going to call Clay and Quinn, see what the fuck we do now. Take 'em up to the cabin like we planned, the rest of us will go in the other van when I get done getting my ass chewed."

Watching as they left, and glad it was dark out, Jax stared at his phone. _Fuck me._

* * *

Clay slammed the phone down and motioned for the guys to go into Church. Pointing at Rachel he growled, "You, you stay close, there might be a fuckin problem."

Sitting forward on a harsh exhale, Clay filled them in. How someone from another charter accidentally on purpose snapped the neck of Edmond Hayes, Cameron Hayes' kid, was more than he could deal with right now. That somehow everyone missed the fuckin intelligence that Edmond and Polly were fucking.

"We got two problems that I see. First is what the fuck do we do with this? Do we tell Cameron what happened, admit it was us, 'hey man, sorry about your kid'? Can we make it look like he skipped with Polly? Can he just disappear, blame it on someone else? Short term, that's something we need to figure out now."

"Our long range problem ties in though. Is this going to cause trouble for us with the Irish? How the fuck did Polly Zobelle and Edmond fucking Hayes know each other? Those two didn't just run into each other at the corner store."

Clay sat back and looked at the brothers. "Jax and a couple guys sent Tigger with the Zobelle's and Hayes' body to the cabin. Quinn is on his way to Zobelle's and Jax will meet him there and stick with – in case we figure out a way to get unfucked."

"Go."

* * *

Rachel knew something had gone wrong, she just wasn't told what exactly that was. Firmly stepping on the curiosity, she waited. The only thing she did know was that they wanted to know how hard an extra person would be to plug in. _Pretty fuckin hard since we'd have to redo some shit, but we could do it if we had to. Why?_

All of a sudden her phone trilled a single line of Happy's song before it cut off. _He has Weston. Fuck yes._

Needing to keep busy, she started checking her email. Seeing she had a notice that a new reply was posted to a thread she had created on a message board, she clicked through.

_Who is Cameron Hayes?_

Not able to squash the thought, she finally did a quick search. Then shit suddenly fell into place.

_The Zobelle's new weapon suppliers are the Irish who supply the Sons. I somehow doubt very much that Clay knows that. I'll tell Happy later. Technically I was being nosy …_

* * *

Happy put down his phone and grinned at Weston's terrified face. "I want two guards on him, armed, not within fuckin touching distance. No one touches him."

Looking at Weston again, he growled darkly, "My girl really wants the chance to thank you for cutting her. The only reason you're not dust under my fuckin boot right now is that I promised her I'd wait. You're going to wish you were dead for a very long time fucker."

_Get the fuck away from him before you screw this up asshole. This is your penance for that bullshit you put her through; she gets to run the show with Weston until she tells you she's done. It doesn't matter what you want this time._

Striding away before he could break his promise, because his hands were shaking, wanting to do just that, Happy went back to Weston's house to search it.

* * *

Rachel and Juice were watching the news, well everyone was, but they were definitely the most intent. From the minute it hit the airwaves, they'd start the countdown. Two hours and 34 minutes later, enough time to make it look realistic, they'd begin. _I hate waiting. Waiting sucks._

* * *

After some debate, which included asking Rachel and Juice how hard it would be at this stage to add another runner, the Sons had a plan. It wasn't a great plan, but fuck, who the hell can plan ahead for something this fuckin random?

Jax left Quinn to finish setting the scene at the Zobelle's and ran up to the cabin to get the body. Taking it to Skeeter, he watched until it was incinerated.

_This is the best plan. If he was found dead somewhere, Cameron would be suspicious, especially with a broken neck. This will still be bad, but there's no proof. Maybe he ran with the Zobelle's, maybe he didn't. Maybe they took him out before they left to make sure no one knew where they were going. Maybe someone snatched the Zobelle's and he got caught up. More fuckin wiggle room. _

* * *

Double checking her script as Juice began, Rachel made sure that the text alerts would come to them at each stage. If something went wrong, she needed to know immediately, not tomorrow. Having discovered that the cabin didn't have internet, she didn't want to chance leaving until this was done, but she also didn't want to sleep through a fuckin check in.

_Happy better not be fucking starting without me, or I'll use that knife on him._

* * *

Gemma eyed Rachel where she was bent over her computer. Waiting until Rachel had been at the cabin a couple of hours, she would sit down Clay and Jax. _Fuck. How'd I let her talk me into this shit again?_

* * *

A very long 10 hours later, it was finally done. She had them on a flight, the longest one, and barring it fucking dropping from the sky she could safely leave until tomorrow morning. The hotel check in/out would be monitored by Juice. Calling Happy, she asked if she should drive or get a ride.

"Drive up with Clay, Jax, and Chibs. They're coming up in about an hour using the last van. Chibs wants payback and can't ride yet; docs won't release him for another week." _Fuck. Gemma. Shit shit shit._

"I can do that … hey you're not starting without me, right?" she teased.

Happy chuckled, "Never girl, it was touch and go when we got him though. I was really fuckin close to breakin that promise."

"I love you Happy. I'll see you in a few hours. Thank you."

_Now where the hell is Gemma?_

* * *

Jax looked around in confusion. _ What the fuck did Mom want right now? We need to be getting on the road._ Seeing Tara and Rachel on each side of her, he glanced at Clay and saw him looking just as fucking confused.

Staring at the table 15 minutes later, he was trying to get control of himself. The white hot rage was clouding over everything. Then he remembered that they had the fucker at the cabin. Kissing his mom gently and leaving her in Clay's hands, he tore out of the room only to discover that Rachel apparently had fuckin ninja skills and was blocking the hallway.

"Get the fuck out of my way Rachel," he ordered roughly, starting to push past her.

She trembled in front of him, but she didn't move as she half begged and half stated, "No. I still get my piece before you do. I asked Gemma to tell you so you could get your own back, get it back for her. I know you guys need that. But I get mine first. He has been terrorizing me for weeks, and I've known what he was. I've known exactly what he wants to do to me. You and Clay kill him, do whatever, but please, please let me go first. Please Jax, I need this. And Clay promised me this."

_I am not backing down from this. I've put too much time, energy, money, and blood into this investigation with this as my __**only**__ reward. This is why I made that deal with Clay that I would cover all of the expenses for the investigation. They'll just have to understand. They have to. Weston has to still be alive and conscious and able to feel pain … __**my**__ pain._

Jax looked at Rachel, who had tears in her eyes but still stood firmly in his way, and slammed his fist against the wall. Leaning against the wall and putting his head back, blinking away his own tears, all he could hear was his mother telling them what had happened. Over and over again.

* * *

The ride to the cabin was uncomfortable for Rachel. No one wanted to talk about Gemma in front of Chibs, because there was no reason for anyone else to know. Rachel didn't think they would ever want to talk about it, and she couldn't blame them. She had to clamp down on inappropriate joking as the silence started choking her.

Chibs finally spoke up and Rachel realized that no, today could get worse somehow, she just been too optimistic. Remembering how Happy told her once to be prepared, because in Charming, shit like that just happened, she wondered if he hadn't maybe understated things a bit.

"So Hayes' body all taken care of then?"

"Fuck Chibs, not in front of the girl," Clay turned to look at him in exasperation. "The fuck is wrong with you?"

"Figured someone would have told her who was lookin to go on a trip with Lil Miss Polly. She would have had to fuckin plan it out anyway."

"Yeah, but she didn't, so shut the fuck up." Jax ordered.

_Seriously? Ok, channel my inner Happy. They need to know what I know, before anyone dies so they can find out what's been going on. Shit I wish I had known this before. Do I tell them now, or wait until we get there? Maybe it's not the same person, but c'mon, the odds?_ Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she finally decided that it couldn't hurt to tell them now. More time to prepare, right?

"Um, I have something you should probably know, just in case it's relevant," Rachel said hesitantly. _Fuck, grow a pair Rachel. You are driving to go help torture someone. Pissing off three armed men in a van in the middle of nowhere shouldn't be a big deal …_

When no one said anything and only Chibs looked at her, she got the idea that perhaps the Teller and Morrow men were either pissed at her or ignoring her. "When I was investigating Zobelle, I found that he was unhappy with his current Syrian weapons dealer and was shopping for a new supplier. I didn't think much of it and just made a couple of inquiries and figured if I didn't hear back, I didn't hear back."

_Well now I have their attention._ "This morning I got a message saying that it was Cameron Hayes," she finished quietly.

The explosion in the van was nothing short of deafening. Rachel winced and didn't say another word the rest of the trip, trying in vain to become invisible.

* * *

Happy let a smile ghost his face when he saw his girl hop out of the back of the van with Chibs. "Hey girl." _ Fuck I'm glad we're getting back on track. Life is going to slow the fuck down again … we're going to have time to relax._

Following Clay, confused, Happy headed into the main building when Clay barked at him that he needed to talk to him. When Rachel hung back, Clay looked at her and said, "Oh no little girl, you're coming too."

Seeing her look away from Clay, both of them fighting back some emotion he couldn't place, he wondered what the hell happened. When Jax leveled a glare at Rachel as well, he was really startled. _The fuck? Jax likes Rachel … what'd she do?_

"So what we need you to do is whatever you and Rachel are doing with Weston, which by the fuckin way, I'm allowing under protest and only because I gave my fuckin word. Then you come get us, before he's dead, I got that part. I want to know everything about this new 'relationship' that Zobelle and Hayes had going on behind our back, so go fuckin interrogate Zobelle and his daughter." Seeing Rachel eye Clay as he finished talking, he wondered what the fuck happened.

"Need details? Ask your girl here. She seems to have all of them." Jax said as he and Clay walked off._ Shit Rach, now what?_

Happy gave her his best blank stare, "Somethin to tell me?"

Rachel looked at him carefully and then walked closer. "Wanna promise not to go nuts?"

"Giving you a lot of fuckin promises lately girl, how bout you take this one on trust." Happy returned.

_Well that is true. Please don't let him run off and kill the guy when he realizes what would have happened to me._ Swallowing hard, Rachel nodded once at him and spoke quickly. "Ok. Weston and two other men raped Gemma to try and destroy the club from the inside. She wasn't in a car wreck."

Turning around and staring blankly at the wall, Happy tried to breathe past the urge to kill. He knew something else had been going on, that the level of fear she had for Weston seemed too high, but … this? _Jesus. Gemma. Fuck. No fuckin wonder Rachel went into shock. That has to be what the hell all those arguments were about … the ones that she brushed off when I asked about them._

Feeling a small hand slip under the front of his t-shirt and rest on his abs, Happy looked down to see Rachel in front of him with sad, scared eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you after I told you I'd tell you anything that concerned the club. It wasn't my secret Happy. Knowing what he did wouldn't have helped, he still couldn't be touched. I tried to get Gemma to talk, I did. Tara did too, because she had to keep it from Jax. It's my fault you can't kill him now too … I begged her to tell them before we left, they had the right …" slowing to a stop, Rachel's head dropped down and she just seemed to wait.

Pushing down his rage, desperately trying to remember that she was the one who had the right to revenge, that she was running this, he still needed a few moments before he was able to reassure her.

"Not your fault Rach, I understand. We'll make him pay." Tilting her head up and rubbing his knuckles along her cheek, he was glad he hadn't known this before, Weston wouldn't have made it here alive, promise or not.

* * *

**Weak stomach and need to skip? Start here.**

Hours later, Rachel was alone in a bed trying to get the energy together to move. She desperately needed a shower.

Apparently Happy thought her with a knife in her hand was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. Or maybe that was all her. Fuck. She had rubbed herself against him like a cat in heat. She wasn't sure how she didn't rip all of her cuts back open.

They'd gone into the room and while she was a novice at torture, actual serious torture, she had a pretty good idea of how it worked. She had also spent a lot of time during the last month or so imagining how she was going to make him pay. She was grateful for the gag, not because the screaming bothered her, but because she didn't want him to make her mad enough to cut his throat.

She had started out just making shallow cuts, trying to determine where she wanted to start. Peeling his tattoos sounded good, but she wasn't sure she knew how to do that. Luckily, Happy did and showed her exactly how to do it. She proved to be a very apt pupil. He also gave her some hints on how to make it really hurt.

After awhile, Happy had leaned back against the wall so he could watch her and she had sunk into some kind of trance. Even trying to think of it now, all she could see was her hands moving slowly as she used the knife to cut each piece of ink delicately off of his body. She could see the blood spray when she cut deeper than she meant to. He may have screamed. She wasn't really paying him any attention.

Finally finished, an unknown amount of time later, he was a red ruin of bloody skin with multicolored scraps laying around his feet. She was startled to realize that Happy had kept him awake using ammonia ampules. She didn't even notice him coming close.

When Rachel had considered how this would go, at least before she made Happy turn it over to her, she always assumed she'd stab him a few times and then be done with it. That she would use the rage she carried in a destructive frenzy. Oh she'd watch Happy, but her actual participation would be small. She couldn't remember him really doing anything other than watching her with hot eyes and teaching her some tricks.

It also turned out that she was more seriously pissed off at him than she had thought. Rachel was pretty sure she had just exorcised a lot of her hurt and anger at how Happy had treated her during that post-knifing period on Weston's body. She was still mad, but the rage was gone. She should probably be concerned with how that all worked out.

_But I'm not. Not even a little bit._

* * *

_That is **my** girl._

Rachel was covered in blood as her eyes finally began to focus again on what was in the room. Fucker had kept tryin to get out of this by passing out, but Happy had taken care of that. He had been more than happy to just use the spray bottle of salt water occasionally and watch her work. She didn't seem to notice when the guy started crying and begging … just kept slowly reaching out and dragging the knife through Weston's skin like it was butter. The fascinated and intent look on her face … fuck.

He could see a few more places she could have gone for, but he contented himself with jamming a knife in Weston's dick and leaving it in place. Didn't want him to bleed out before Jax and Clay got in here. Right now he had a more pressing issue.

Waiting until she turned to him and handed him her knife and gloves, he finally got a fist in that hair and traced one finger through some of the blood that had run down her arms onto her chest as she was reaching high for some of the cuts. Eyes flicking from that blood and back to her eyes, he waited until she looked at him, tightening his fist in her hair slowly.

Dragging her head to his, he dominated her mouth. Trying to fuckin remember she was still hurt, he was surprised and pissed when she pushed back into him. _Oh no little girl, it's my turn to be in charge. _Growling as she started shredding his control, he finally got her against the wall and held her there with his body.

Feeling her shake against him, he pulled back to look at her. Happy traced the lines of her face with his hands and eyes, seeing faint traces of blood spray. _Fuck me._ Wild hair, damp in places with blood, flushed face and blown lust filled eyes that were showing absolutely no care for where they were or who was in the room. Her hands were digging into his neck, trying to bring his mouth back to her. She needed this, now.

Happy had fucked sweetbutts just about everywhere, he didn't give a fuck who was around, but he didn't share Rachel, especially not in the same room as Weston. Fucker might not get any pleasure out of seeing her naked now, especially with that knife in his dick, but anyone could fuckin come in here. Picking her up by the thighs, he wrapped her legs around him, pulling her hard against him, before he walked her out of the room with her face buried in his neck licking and sucking at him.

"Get Clay and Jax, tell them I'll deal with Zobelle soon, need to handle something else first." He wondered if the Nomad on the door figured it out, or if he thought Rachel was upset. _He's gonna figure it out real soon, when I make you scream my name. _

Moving quickly into a bedroom and throwing the lock, he started stripping her. As much as he wanted hard rough against the wall sex right now, he needed to make sure he didn't hurt her, because she wasn't payin attention to that. She was fuckin mindless, rubbing against him and trying to pull him into her. Biting him when he wasn't moving fast enough. The noises she was making in the back of her throat were making his dick twitch.

Happy finally got them naked and paused to appreciate the way she looked. She still had blood on her upper chest and arms and she was more wanton right now than he'd ever seen her, rubbing him and tugging on her own nipples. _Jesus Christ I'm a lucky man._ Running a hand through her soaking pussy, he dipped his fingers in, making her cry out. Using his thumb against her while roughly fucking her with his hand, he attacked her mouth with his, tongues sliding and teeth clashing, as he used his body to hold her down against the bed.

When she came screaming all over his fingers, he didn't even pause, just leaned down and started sucking on her clit. He needed to tire her out a bit before he got started so she wouldn't fuckin hurt herself. One big hand splayed between her breasts making sure she couldn't move or arch, he licked and sucked and pushed into her until she went off again.

Smiling against her pussy, he waited, nibbling and lightly stroking until he could hear her breathing start to change. Pulling her carefully off the bed, he pushed her onto her knees and put her hands against the wall. "You're going to stay right there girl. Don't fuckin move." Incoherent noises and a gasping whine were his only reply. Spreading her knees wider with one of his, he pulled her back a bit at the same time.

Admiring the picture she made, Happy ran his dick against her clit, until one hand came off the wall and she sank her nails into his thigh as a reminder to get the fuck on with it. She was so wet that there wasn't any resistance at all, but she still fuckin gripped him better than any other had. Holding her hips tightly so she couldn't move, to keep her from pulling on any of her healing cuts, he started carefully pushing into her.

Trying to be careful, to go slowly, he could feel himself start to lose it. Keening cries from underneath him, the tightening of her internal muscles, the feel of her fingers as she rubbed them against his dick when she was touching herself, the picture in his head of his woman, wet with blood she had shed to take back control of her life … _I need more … fuck. I can't …_

Sitting back on his heels, he moved closer until she was sitting in his lap with her legs outside of his, spreading her wide and leaving her entire body open for him. He ran his hands down her arms, grasping her wrists and holding them in one hand against the wall. Caging her with his body, pounding up into her, twisting and rubbing her nipples with one hand, he could feel her struggling to get free.

"Happy let me go, please. I need … I want …" He actually got harder listening to her beg him.

Growling, he bit her hard on the shoulder. "Fuck no, you ran that show, I'm fuckin running this one. Did it feel good, sliding that knife through his skin? The blood running down his body make you wet? I can still smell the blood on you; see the knife in your hand, the look in your eye. You have no fucking idea how much I'm controlling myself right now, I want to fuck you through the goddamned wall."

Grinning when he listened to her whine in protest at not being let go, feeling her get wetter as he talked, he murmured in her ear, "You like this don't you. You like being held down by me. You like knowing I have the control. That all you can do is fuckin take it. That I'm not going to stop until I decide to stop." Closing his eyes and resting his head against hers as he felt her go over again, he slowed his movements a little. Kissing the back of her neck, and using slow deep thrusts, he drug out her orgasm until he felt her go limp against him.

Not stopping, but slowing even more, ignoring her protests that she couldn't come again, that she wanted loose, he continued to play her body against her. Knowing he wasn't going to be last much longer, feeling the pull, he used enough pressure to ride the pleasure/pain line as he tweaked her body. She had to be pushed hard before they could do this or she was too sensitive, but fuck was her reaction worth it.

Holding her hands tighter when she bucked and growled at him, he pushed at her with his whole body to keep her in place. Leaning up to bite at her neck and shoulder, feeling her clench around him, his fingers tightened around her hips, digging in, brusing her, dragging her down to meet his thrusts. Groans and growls and gasping cries suddenly crested as he shoved himself up as far as he could go, pulling her clit hard at the same time. Pouring into her, he felt her suddenly grip him like a vice and ripple around him one last time as he gasped out her name.

Cradling her exhausted body in his arms, he gently tipped his head forward against her neck in the sudden quiet, broken only by the sound of their heavy breathing. Suddenly a gunshot roared nearby … and they both smiled.

* * *

Jax was disturbed. He knew that Happy and Rachel were in here, knew that Happy would be torturing Weston. But he did not expect this. Happy tended to go for blunt trauma, breaking shit or even cutting pieces off, but this … this is new. He was fuckin happy as hell that the fucker had suffered so much, it was just …

A.J. Weston was unconscious and swaying in place, with his arms raised out to his sides and held there by chains. Dressed only in boxers stained bright red with blood, he was a pitiful sight. His face seemed to be the only undamaged part of him showing. A knife was jammed deep in his groin, blood dripping on the floor between his legs. _Good. I hope the fucker was awake when they did that._

There were long slashes going down his thighs, like someone had drawn lines from his hips to his knees. Not just one slash, but many slashes, going all the way around. His calves and Achilles tendons were cut badly. He kind of thought the bottom of his feet were cut up too, but the blood dripping down made it too hard to see. _Wonder if they did that first; make it harder for him to stay upright without pain._

Both sides of his body and all along his arms had large sections of skin removed. Remembering what Juice said that day in Church, Jax was guessing Rachel did exactly what she said she was going to. It was fuckin gory, especially with the tattoos littering the floor around him in a circle. The shallow cuts that seemed to be everywhere else kind of seemed like overkill. He wondered which came first. He was betting the shallow shit, then the skinning.

No, he was disturbed, because according to the Nomad on the door, Happy hadn't been the bloody one, she was. They'd had to cut tats off of people before, but … this was different. Listening to the sounds from the room down the hall, he was guessing Happy fuckin approved though.

Jesus.

Grabbing a steel pipe, he told Clay to throw the water, then they got started.

* * *

**You can read again now if you skipped.**

Showered and in a pair of yoga pants and one of Happy's t-shirts, with a headband holding her hair back from her face, Rachel was curled up with a book on the couch, waiting for Happy to finish with the Zobelle's. Having gotten up to get a glass of water, she was just sitting back down as Jax came out.

"Hi there," she said as she smiled brightly.

Jax had a peculiar look on his face but remembering, with a faint blush, she did just have screaming loud sex nearby, she let it go. _Happy is a sex god, not my fault._

As he sat down, she looked at him over The Count of Monte Cristo. "I'm sorry about Gemma. If it's any consolation, I think she'll deal better now that she isn't keeping the secret or worried that he can get her again."

"Yeah, that doesn't really help. Fuck. I just … that's my Mom, you know?"

"I do. Talk to Tara, give yourself an outlet, and don't let it eat you up. Gemma is a tough woman, she'll get through this."

Cocking his head at her, his eyes suddenly went wide, "This is why Clay sending you into Zobelle's place flipped her the fuck out. Why you investigated so hard before Happy even got home. Why you were so freaked out. You knew something."

Biting her lip, she considered how to say this. "I didn't know about what had happened to her at that point, but yes, I was pretty sure what he was. He wasn't exactly hiding it. The night she told me what he'd done, I did freak out, badly. Happy had to pull me out of it, though neither Gemma nor I would tell him what was wrong."

"I'm sorry for the hallway too Jax. I didn't mean to be such a bitch. I just needed you to hear me."

Pausing for a minute, her blue eyes suddenly twinkled at him. "The sound of that gunshot will be going in my hall of fame."

Jax quirked his lips at her. "You sure it's the gunshot or was it the shit that came before that?"

"Meh, why make distinctions. Overall, it was a damn fine evening."

"Yeah. Fuck. Ready for it to slow down around here. Shit feels like it's been churning forever. Maybe have some time to go over those other ideas you had for the expansion." Jax smiled at her.

Grinning, she placed a piece of paper to mark her spot and then put the book down. "Well we're both here now so let's talk about it. If nothing else, we'll know what to focus on when shit does settle down."

Jax never even noticed when he went back to seeing Rachel as a delicate businesswoman who had a sunny approach to life and a penchant for loving the scariest motherfucker he knew … instead of the woman who had tortured a man in a back room just a couple of hours ago.

* * *

Happy came out of the bathroom rubbing a towel over his head to find Rachel asleep in the corner of the couch and Jax and Clay talking quietly. He could see Tig and Chibs sitting on the porch.

"Well? We gotta worry about the fuckin Irish now too?" Clay barked out demandingly.

Sitting down next to Rachel and rubbing her foot when she pushed it into his lap as she rolled over in her sleep, Happy thought about it. "Don't know. The girl didn't think the Irish knew. That this deal was under the table, said the kid told her that. But Zobelle wouldn't fuckin answer."

Leaning his head back on the couch, he went on. "I can try again, but I'm not sure he knows anything. There were a lot of threats about his FBI buddies, but nothing that we didn't already know and plan for."

Jax looked at Rachel, "Yeah she thinks shit through. No federal agencies sniffing at our door, nothing to tie us to the deaths, revenge fuckin taken … she did good."

"Fuck yes she did," Happy said with a proud smile.

"Yeah well next time I tell you to fuckin interrogate someone, get the hell to it before you deal with personal shit." Clay growled at him.

Shrugging, Happy smiled a little and said, "Hey, I got busy. They weren't going anywhere."

* * *

**Next up - Things settle down and Hayes starts asking questions **


	21. Chapter 21

******Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way ... unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency. **

**Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content.**

* * *

**Chapter 21**

Leaning forward against Happy as he took them south on 99 to Bakersfield, Rachel was content. The last three weeks had been wonderful in her opinion. Her stomach and back were finally pretty much healed, shit with the club had died down, and she was back at her normal job. Thanksgiving was yesterday at Gemma's, and now they were headed down to see his mother.

She hadn't thought she'd miss all her houseguests, but she did at first. She'd grown quite fond of the boys that stayed at their place. Kozik tried to wrangle an invitation to stay longer, since he said Tacoma didn't have mattresses this soft or meals that good. Happy told him nicely to get the fuck out. _Well as nicely as Hap can say that._

Gemma and Clay were healing. Clay had eventually come to her and apologized. Rachel strongly suspected Gemma's hand at work there. She was finding that talking to Clay was rather interesting … for what he said, what he didn't say, and how he said it at all. It was like having a conversation inside suggestion wrapped up in innuendo.

She and Happy had eventually sat down for that talk. The one where she told him exactly how hurt she was when he was such a dick. She needed to impress upon him how painful it was, in the hopes that the next time he'd fuckin think first. He'd explained how he knew what he was doing was wrong, but couldn't put it all together until Quinn forced him to look at it.

Rachel said she'd have to thank Quinn and Happy growled at her. There was something about how Quinn said some shit about her to make Happy punch him so he'd listen … it didn't make any sense to her. _How can men hit each other one minute and be fine the next? A woman hits another woman and a blood feud begins._

She agreed that instead of letting it happen next time and preparing to just walk, that she'd come to him and do something. Talk, yell, scream … fuck pull a gun. Do something. That she had to remember and understand that he was going to screw up, but it didn't mean he didn't love her or wasn't trying.

He made it a point to say that if she ever walked away from him without a good reason, he'd drag her back by the goddamn hair to explain herself. Her inner Gloria Steinem had a fucking cow over how pleased she had been with that threat. She growled at him and said that if he ever used another woman to get her attention again, like he had to have done at the clubhouse that day, he would be paying for it for a long time.

Peanut was overjoyed and sad at the same time. He'd been so happy with all the people around, especially Sons who Rachel swore emitted some kind of pheromone that Peanut was addicted to, but he had missed hanging out at the house with just her and Happy. At least they'd kept in shape, kind of, by running with Kip when they could, but the first week of getting back into it was rough on them both after being so inactive while she healed.

Happy was getting ready to start taking jobs now, and she was back with Greg, who was thrilled to have her back. _I don't feel like shit about that, nope not at all. Hey Greg, you don't mind that I got a new boyfriend, and the last few months I've been gone a lot more than I've been here. That's cool, right?_ Year end was creeping closer though, so she understood it, even if they didn't get as busy as some firms.

She hadn't gone back to the Shelter yet and she knew that Happy was more than pleased about that, but she was going next week. He just didn't know it yet. The skills that she taught there had saved her life when Weston held that knife on her. She refused to quit volunteering that knowledge until they had someone else to do it. _Happy can just suck an egg._

Heading now to go see his Ma, who had missed them in recent weeks, life was good. She was staying out of club stuff, only really going there when one of the ladies needed to stop or she had to meet Happy. Sometimes she missed the conversations she'd have with them in the clubhouse, they were all so quirky in different ways. Then again, a few seemed to show up on a regular basis at their house anyway, oddly enough, usually at dinner time. She had her life, Happy had his, and they had theirs in the middle.

* * *

Happy felt Rachel's hands tighten around him briefly in a squeeze and thanked god yet again that shit had fuckin stopped. To be honest, he had expected the end of Zobelle and that situation to end at least a couple of them, or put them in prison. Being able to skate out of it was a fuckin surprise. _And that's partly my devious girl's work … she spun it all around until she found a way to make someone else do the hard shit, so the Sons just took out the trash. Hell yeah._

Cameron Hayes might be a problem still, but they hadn't heard much from him yet. He was fuckin suspicious as hell though, according to Clay and Jax who had met with him not long after. Clay was sure he was just blowing smoke, seeing if they knew anything.

He hadn't brought up the ink again to Rachel. He knew he'd put it on her eventually, but … that shit from when she was hurt lingered. On his side too, although he hadn't fuckin realized it until recently. The fact that she wouldn't fight for them? That she'd just walk away? Bugged him, even if he did understand what made her that way. They just needed some downtime before they moved forward with anything.

Life had smoothed out. He was available to the club at large again. Quinn was still ok with him being in Charming, although he'd have to make a decision on that sooner or later. He was coming up on a year in a few months. If he could see himself here longer than that, he really needed to just patch over. Being mother charter, he'd still be loaned out on jobs and his pay probably wouldn't go down much now that they had legit money coming in as well.

* * *

"Your son isn't with the Zobelle's, I can't find any record of him traveling with them, not that anyone really remembers them. But I've checked the logs of the airline, they show that Zobelle, his daughter, and his lieutenant, boarded and checked luggage."

...

"Yes, yes of course someone could fake the records, but if someone were going to fake the records, they might remember to put in the boarding, but checking luggage? Doesn't happen. I'm sorry Mr. Hayes, I'm afraid this is the last stop for this line of inquiry."

...

"Yes, I've done searches on the aliases that you provided me for your son, it was one of the first things I did. I have searches that will alert me if one does pop up at any time."

...

"Well, I really need to have an idea of what you want to do sir."

...

"No, I realize that people don't disappear into thin air, that something had to happen, but sir …"

...

"The motorcycle club in Charming? Why … "

...

"Of course, I'll start running profiles now. What exactly are you looking for, so I can narrow my search?"

...

"I've got feelers out as well, if I hear anything from one, I'll contact you."

...

"We'll speak soon Mr. Hayes."

* * *

Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday so far. It was a 'family' holiday for the club. Gemma and Clay opened up their home to the brothers and their families and hosted a huge dinner. The women, pretending that feminism was simply a bad dream, not that this life promoted it anyway, did everything while the men drank beer and watched TV.

Rachel moved off a little way from the bustle, catching her breath since she didn't really care for crowds, and watched the dynamics. She and Happy had a good thing at home, he didn't expect her to do everything and she didn't expect him to do more than was reasonable. This was … yeah. Not acceptable on a daily basis. At least not for her.

She wondered at times, when she saw a brother shy away from Hap's glare, or watched the other women alternate between terrified and fascinated, if they would still look at him like that if they had seen him up to his elbows in soap suds washing the dishes. She personally found it sexy as hell, but that could be because she didn't have to do the dishes that night. Or if they knew he would rather cuddle with her and read a book than watch a movie. _Then again, that's __**my**__ Happy. They'll never meet that man._

But these big get togethers definitely brought out the 50's housewife in Gemma. Rachel tried to stay on the edges, because technically she didn't really feel that she belonged here today. The Old Ladies always came, and the hang around girls would come and do cleanup and then stay to visit, but she didn't really fit in either category. Lyla was kind of there with her, but she had a suspicion from her beaming smiles that was going to be changing soon.

But the food was good and the company was better this holiday. Gemma had to get Jax to manhandle the turkeys in and out of the oven, they were so big. The table practically groaned with food and the desserts could have put the entire club into a diabetic coma. She would have sworn there was no way for this much food to be consumed in one day, but damned if they didn't do their best to prove her wrong.

Lyla and Opie announced that they were engaged after dinner, so it became a double celebration. _Hah, I knew it! God I hope he's worked out his issues with her job. Stay out of it Rachel. I am happy for them though. They're sweet and it's optimistic, the world needs that sometimes._

"Look like you're thinking hard baby girl," was suddenly whispered in Rachel's ear as she stood in a doorway watching and listening as the women stood around the kitchen chatting.

Shivering at the sound of his deep voice, she leaned back against Happy's chest as his arm came around her shoulders. "No, just enjoying the holiday. Do you know this is the first Thanksgiving I've celebrated with other people in over 10 years? It's nice. I had forgotten what it feels like."

A kiss was placed on her ear as he hmmm'd in it. "And what does it feel like?"

"Like I belong to something." Darting a quick glance up, she smiled, but there was an edge to it. "Like I can still fit with people, that I'm not alone." Hugging his arm to her, she relaxed against him and watched the people who made themselves into a family.

Sometimes Happy didn't understand his girl. He loved her and he saw what she was capable of, she was fuckin amazing. But she didn't seem to see it. She knew she had skills when it came to work, but anything other than that she seemed blind almost. When it came to expecting people to like her or for her to belong, she never felt it.

Wrapping his other arm around her and leaning his head against hers, Happy sighed. He could feel the looks here and there since this was more affectionate than they usually got in front of other people … at least people who hadn't lived with them … but he didn't give a shit. His girl deserved this and so much more, he just wished she could see it.

Murmuring in her ear, so that only they could hear it, he said, "Rachel, you never have to be alone again. You do belong to something. You have me."

When she glanced up at him and gave him her brightest smile and her eyes glittered like fuckin sapphires as she fought tears? Fuckin made it worth saying shit like that. Then she leaned up and whispered that she loved him too. Even though he had told her once, she continued their game. Happy was pretty sure it was because he had said he enjoyed it. His girl was thoughtful like that.

Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and a pat on the ass, he released her to the women, glaring at anyone who thought that was cute. Fuck them. Cute was when Rachel blared the Beach Boys and danced around the house and tried to make him join in. He was considering fucking with her soon and dancing just to see her pass out from shock. He liked to amuse himself.

* * *

"Cousin, I need ye help, my boy … he's still missin'."

...

"Aye, I've had a sound man lookin into it, but … isn't there anything ye can do?"

...

"Bless ye, I appreciate ye takin' the time."

...

"No Cousin, I won't say a word."

* * *

"Hi Ma," Happy called out as he gave her a hug. _Oh my son, I have missed you._

"My son, you look good, Rachel taking care of you is she?" She twinkled at Happy. He was going to marry this one, she knew it. He probably knew it too, he was just being stubborn. She'd wear him down. Rosa Lowman knew how to persevere.

"Rachel is doing her best Rosa," Rachel smiled at her as she stepped inside. "Sorry, your mannerless son was in a hurry to get to his momma." Dodging the hand reaching out to smack her ass, Rachel darted behind Rosa.

Shooing Happy towards the kitchen to make them all some sweet tea, Rosa hooked her arm with Rachel's and started trying to find out why they weren't married yet. _Pish, they've been busy. Busy doing what?_

Looking seriously at Rachel, she finally said, "Rachel, you love my son?"

"Of course I do, why would you ask me that?" _Good she looks confused. You must do the pinning dear girl, my son he is slippery, like an eel. I heard him stop outside the doorway, he needs to hear this. Mama always knows best._

"Do you not wish for permanence, a family?" _Oh Rosa._

Rachel smiled softly at Rosa, knowing what was going on. "Rosa, I love your son with or without a piece of paper to tell me I should. I love you without needing to have your son's last name. I have a family; it's just one that I put together myself."

Seeing Happy standing in the doorway with a soft smile on his face, just out of sight of his mother, she continued. "I was recently told I never had to be alone again, that I belong. That is more than enough for me. But I love that you care enough to worry. We're fine."

Smiling mischievously, she said, "And I know he'll always be your baby, but I am doing my best to keep him happy. Did you know that he … " she trailed off into laughter as Happy came into the room glaring and interrupting her. He couldn't fool her though; his eyes were still soft and smiling.

_That girl is as slippery as my son. Bah. _ She wasn't giving up though, just retreating. Her boy used to be so angry. He still has the dangerous edges, but so much happier now. His first thought isn't anger all the time. That is from Rachel, from loving Rachel.

* * *

"I have to go Happy," Rachel tried one last time. "Please, I know you hate it, but I've tried to explain why."

Glaring at the TV instead of looking at her, he said, "Yeah and I heard you, every time you've explained. I agree that it fuckin helped you when you needed it, but it also got you hurt once. I hate worrying when you're at the Shelter."

Making a decision, Rachel stood up and straddled Happy's lap so he either looked at her or looked stupid avoiding her. "Hap, I'm sorry that you worry. You have no idea how much I hate it when you look at me with those worried eyes. It makes me want to tie myself to you so that you never look like that again. But if I do that, if I stop doing things that make me who I am, then …"

"Fuck."

"I can call when I get there and when I leave. I'll have Peanut with me. I'm armed." Rachel waited to see what he'd say. She was going anyway, and he probably knew that, but … _I send him out to have people shoot at him, he can deal with this. It's not even dangerous for gods sake. In almost two years I've had exactly one incident. Of course that happened after he met me, which doesn't fucking help my case here._

"You'll call?"

"Yes, I'll call by 10:30." _Don't roll your eyes, he just wants to make sure you're ok. Even if he is being a bit overprotective. Granted, I was knifed a couple months ago. Maybe he has some points. Maybe._

"Can you pick up ice cream on the way home?"

Staring at him in shock, seeing the twinkle in his eye that he'd been fucking hiding from her, Rachel's eyes went wide before she began smacking him on the shoulders. "You ass! I thought you were really worried. I was all upset trying to figure out … dickhead."

Glaring at him when he snickered, she finally grumbled, "What kind and do I still have to call? Jerk. I'm so not eating ice cream off your abs for that."

Her lips twitched with her own snicker as he sat up and looked at her intently. "What the fuck Rachel, you can't say that and then leave for hours. And then say you're not doing it. Get the Neo one, with all three flavors. That way you have a variety for later, when you lick it off me. And yes fuckin call. I wasn't joking about that. You were hurt recently, you're going to a place where you can be hurt again, fuckin call me."

Leaning forward and hugging him tight to her neck, she kissed his ear. "I'll call. I love you too. I'll consider the ice cream and abs. You should consider ice cream and breasts. I've heard it's a killer combo."

Biting his ear and jumping up, she blew him another kiss, called Peanut, and grabbed her bag before he could respond.

* * *

"You have to go, don't you?" Putting a moue of disappointment on her face, she wiggled the ice cream at Happy sadly before she put it in the freezer and walked into the living room. _I so had plans for your body too._

"Sorry girl. Got a call that I'm needed in Carson City for a day or two, need to leave tonight. I got my packing done when you were gone, but I'll have to leave soon." Leaning over her, he ran his hands through her hair, still damp from her shower, as he dropped a kiss on her lips.

"That feels good." Looking up at him from under her lashes, she asked, "How soon?" Running one finger down his chest and tapping it on his fly, she could feel him hardening under her finger.

Groaning and looking at the clock, he was suddenly in motion. "Soon, real fuckin soon, but we're gonna fit this in first."

Dropping to her knees, she heard him suck in a breath as she started working on his jeans. "Well I've been thinking about that ice cream for hours, so I think if anyone needs prep, it'll be you. Don't you leave me hanging though." Smiling up at him, with warm eyes, she slid his jeans and boxers down his thighs and sat him on the couch, before pulling them off.

"It's like I knew this couch was the perfect height," she murmured as she leaned forward and slowly started teasing him with long licks and tiny nibbles and short sucks.

"Jesus Rachel. And I don't want to hear about you and this couch before me … pisses me off." Groaning, he grabbed her head as she kept teasing, now putting a lot more effort into it as he moved her head the way he wanted.

Licking her lips, she looked up at him while holding his dick just out of reach of her mouth and said in a husky tone, "You don't want to hear how I would lie on this couch and touch myself? How I fucked my own hand? How I would soak myself watching porn …"

Tossing her on her back on the floor, Happy made very short work of her workout pants and panties, before pulling her on top of him as he tore his shirt off. "Shirt, off, now," he grunted as he pushed up into her. "Damn tease, you knew what that would do to me," he complained, gripping her hips as she started to ride him.

Ripping it off and grinning smugly at him, Rachel leaned down and kissed him properly, the way that drove him insane. Licking his lips and running her tongue down the veins in his neck, she marked him lightly with her teeth. She whispered the things he made her feel into his ears as she ground on top of him, clenching around him. Moving around his jaw, she bit his chin, feeling the faint stubble against her tongue while tweaking his nipples with her fingers. Rocking against him harder, she could feel every inch filling her up and used every trick she had to reduce him into a swearing groaning mess.

"FUCK Rachel," Happy growled as he arched helplessly when her nails raked his upper thighs again. "Fuckin stop that shit or I **am** going to leave you hanging. Jesus Christ." Eyeing him carefully, gauging her timing, Rachel gave him a smile that made him wary. Bracing herself with one hand, her other slowly snaked behind her and down between his legs; cupping his balls and then lightly tugging while rubbing her middle finger against the spot just under them that always made him gasp and growl.

The response she received was everything she could have hoped for. She was quickly flipped onto her back, while he muttered obscenities and gripped her hard enough to leave bruises for days, while dragging her body to his. Yanking her legs up against his chest and biting at her calf, he thrust himself back in, grinning when she arched and screamed, but not slowing down. Watching him, she could see his eyes fastened on the place where his dick was disappearing into her while he punished her for the teasing with deep pounding strokes, holding her legs wide. Seeing him slowly drag his gaze up her body to her face, she felt herself get impossibly wetter when he suddenly growled out, "God I fuckin adore you."

Placing one of her feet on his hip, he pressed it down hard enough that she understood it should stay there. Snapping his hips into her, still holding one leg out, he reached down and lightly rubbed her clit until her eyes rolled up into her head. Waiting until her spasms slowed, he suddenly pulled out and flipped her onto her knees, leaning her upper body on the couch.

Groaning as he slid back in roughly and continued using her body relentlessly, she started to shake as he kept stroking over the spot that this position gave him access to. Feeling his hands dig into her hips and his stroke stutter, Rachel suddenly felt her body seize up and her vision go white as he let out a huge shout and slammed forward one last time.

Collapsing against her back as she panted into the couch, all they could do was try and breathe for a long moment. _Jesus Christ._

Making a noise suspiciously like a purr, he leaned back a bit and kissed her neck and shoulders, before slowly pulling out and getting redressed. "Thank you. I really do gotta go now though."

Stretching out on the rug that covered the hardwood, she reluctantly got up and put her shirt and panties on, ignoring the creak in her knees from the hard floor. "You're more than welcome. I wanted you to have something to think on while you're away." Winking, she gave him a kiss as he shrugged his kutte on by the door. "Love you, be safe, and come home to me."

"You too, and I will."

* * *

Sitting at her desk an hour after she saw Happy off, freshly showered, she drew her feet up on her chair and stared at the object on her desk.

Tapping a fingernail on the manila envelope she had requested back, she wondered if the premonition she was feeling was simply paranoia. Maybe she felt like things were too easy the last few weeks now that the trouble was over? _But something feels … off. Is it me? Holidays make me melancholy, sad about things that might have been, which is ridiculous, but true. Maybe I'm just off and everything else is fine._

_Things with Happy and I are pretty good, so it's not that. We're not perfect, but no couple is. Be fuckin boring as hell anyway. Speaking of fights, what the fuck was that with the Shelter earlier. Sexy Beast is turning into a joker, what the hell. Hope he still finds shit funny when I call him tomorrow and he hears his ring tone …_

Unable to figure it out, but deciding that it's always better to be safe than sorry, she made some changes and put it aside to send back out tomorrow.

* * *

Sitting in one of the Carson City clubhouse armchairs, Happy was feeling fine about life. The job tomorrow afternoon was easy, more for intimidation than anything else. Good money to just be scary and ready to shoot. With any luck he could get out of here early enough to head home. Apparently his girl needed another lesson about teasing him. _Sexy bitch._

He had always liked this charter. Being Nomad, he had seemed to end up here on a regular basis. Guys here were steady. They knew how to fuckin have fun, but after being around Charming's cast of characters so long, it was a nice change. Redwood Originals always seemed filled with just that, originals. Relaxing with a beer, he was only sort of listening to what they were talking about.

The beer halfway to his mouth froze as he heard Rachel's name. Slowly taking another sip and lowering it, he fixed his glare on the brother who had been in Charming for the Zobelle shit.

"John I tell you, it was something else. From what I heard, she helped them take this guy and his group down." Happy was trying to remember this prick's name, not that he had a problem with his girl getting praise, but he was sitting right the fuck here. _Freddy? Teddy?_

Scoffing, the guy Happy thought was John said, "No fuckin way Clay lets a broad help in club shit. Love the brother, but he definitely feels women have a place. And it ain't anywhere near the Chapel. Gemma is one of the toughest bitches I've ever met and even she knows to stay the fuck out."

"I know, I know. That's what made it so fucking unbelievable. I watched her and Juice, their IO? I watched them do shit on their computers the day it all went down when I was doing security. Kid you not. And she's a real pretty little redhead too."

"You got there the night before, could have fuckin misheard. Maybe she and Juicy were playing a game together or some shit. I just don't see it." Piped up yet another fuckin brother Happy couldn't remember the name of. _Sign of age, old man? Jesus. Fuck, what is it … yes! T.J. that's his name._

Drawing out his beer, he wondered if they had forgotten he was there. He was set off a bit to the side, and he had been quiet for awhile. Fuckin chairs were comfortable. Wouldn't last a week in Charming though … brothers were hard on the furniture.

Leaning forward, the storyteller, who was going to learn to keep his mouth shut or at least look the fuck around first, argued with the tall bearded T.J. "Yeah well if that was all of it, then maybe. But I saw Clay pull her into Church for a conversation later that day. I heard from someone else on cleanup at the cabin that she had been seen there too."

Eyes narrowing, Happy waited to see exactly what rumor was going on about that. "Brother who told me said that she actually helped torture the one who had knifed her a few weeks before." _Technically true, although fuck, I'd rather that not get out. Less people knowing she's committed felonies, the better. If anyone is visiting anyone in prison, she's coming to me damnit._

John and T.J. looked impressed for a few seconds, and then John spoke up. "Maybe, but still, a hang around has some computer skills and does torture … doesn't sound right. Doesn't make it all a lie, but it would be interesting to hear the whole story someday. Wonder if any of the Charming brothers would spill?"

Deciding that this was a good time to make his presence known, because the fuck? "They better fuckin not if they want to keep all their teeth." Happy growled as he glared at the three surprised men. _Yeah hi assholes, remember me? Forget where the fuck I'm living right now?_

"I'm almost offended that you dickheads not only forgot I was sitting here, but then didn't remember I was in Charming for my Ma." Happy let his voice get dry. One of the benefits of having a rep was using it for your own amusement at times. Enjoying the reaction, he looked at the guy he thought was Teddy. "You gossip like an old woman. How far has that shit spread?"

"Pretty far by now I think. Buddy of mine in Kansas called me to confirm it. Nomads are loving it." Teddy said while he glanced quickly at Happy's Nomad patch and then tried to pretend he hadn't.

"The fuck else you hear about her?"

_Don't think so hard Teddy, you look like you need to take a shit_. "That she wasn't a club woman, some kind of civilian. Rumor that she's involved with a club guy though, but I didn't hear who. There's some huge dog who is trained to kill. She's making them money somehow. Um … oh! And she was knifed during a party and almost chopped the guys leg off. There's a rumor that she's some kind of special assassin type, but I've seen her, she's fuckin tiny. No way."

Staring at Teddy, while the other two gaped and made disbelieving noises, Happy tried. He really fucking tried to keep his shit together. First his lips twitched, then he snorted, and suddenly he was laughing. Holding his palms to his eyes, he leaned his head down a bit and laughed his ass off. _Only Rachel would become some kind of fucked up urban legend. Jesus Christ. I can't wait to tell her. Was I ever as young and dumb as this kid is?_

Getting himself under control, although he was still huffing a laugh out occasionally, he looked up. _Do I really laugh that much more now? Fuck, Rach is going to ruin my rep. _"What? Shit was funny."

"So you're sayin it's all bullshit then? Fucking told you Teddy. Sorry about not seeing you there Hap, you're good at blending and I've thought of you as Nomad for so long, I didn't even think about it." John explained.

Standing up to get himself a beer, Happy raised his empty bottle at John. "No problem, good skill to have. Some of it's true, kinda. Most of it is fucked up and some is just bullshit. She isn't a fucking assassin … she _was_ knifed and she _should_ have cut the motherfuckers leg off … and if that dog kills I'm buying it a steak before I beat her ass for getting in trouble again."

He didn't bother spelling out that she was with him, but figured they got it if the whispering going on behind his back meant anything. Walking back to his seat and pushing a sweetbutt off of him on the way … _it was like his fuckin promise was written on his forehead and they all wanted to be the bitch he broke it with_ … he sat back down in the chair he was seriously considering taking home.

* * *

Glancing at the clock much later, he saw it was about time for her check in. Deciding to just do it in here since it'd probably be short, he pulled out his smokes. Living with Rachel had definitely cut down on how much he smoked, at least when he was in Charming. Was one of her firm house rules, no smoking inside. Fuckin pain in the ass, but he would admit that it smelled nice in there. Brothers staying there during that Zobelle shit had bitched but backed down when she refused to budge.

Suddenly he felt the vibration of his phone at the same time it started singing to him. Eyes wide with horror, he dug for it in his pocket to shut it up. Some whiny high pitched … Barbie Girl song, the fuck? Hitting accept to shut it up, he glared at it for a second before he put it to his ear.

"Rachel, if you mess with my ringtone again, I'm going to break every pair of high heels you have. The fuck woman? And Barbie Girl? Fuckin seriously?" Happy snarled.

Hearing her scream in laughter on the other end wasn't helping. "Girl …" was growled low in warning.

Gasping, Rachel tried to stop laughing. She'd known when she did it that he was going to kill her, but he had told her this story about how the night they met he had referred to her in his head as a Barbie he wanted to play with. It seemed appropriate! Maybe she should have used My Girl?

"I can't say I'm sorry Happy, because Jesus I bet that was funny, but I won't do it again. For awhile. You called me a fucking Barbie doll though for gods sake. You didn't really think I was going to take that laying down did you?"

_She was pretty pissed off about the Barbie thing. Especially when I called her Action Barbie, Cooking Barbie, Bitchy Barbie, and Professional Barbie. Didn't seem to mind Sexy Barbie as much … Hell I only used it for a week or so. But then Tig and Chibs heard it and started using it … Shit._

"Fuck, whatever. Fine. You good, you safe? Dog eat anyone today?"

"Doing fine and yes I'm safe. Why would Peanut eat someone?" Rachel sounded confused.

"He's a killer I guess. Should fuckin hear the rumors about you. I'm calling you Assassin Barbie now."

Holding the phone away from his ear as she started yelling, he grinned maliciously. "Shouldn't fuckin change my ringtone then. Nothing wrong with the default woman. You just like to fuck with people. Givin Chibs an Irish folk song is one thing, but Jax wasn't amused with Cream even if Tara told you to do it."

Rachel snorted. "Yeah yeah, I think he secretly adores Prince personally. Do I need to call again?"

"Tomorrow same time, in case I'm still here."

The other men in the room were alarmed when Happy stood up suddenly and said dangerously, "The fuck you mean you have a client dinner to go to tomorrow? Better not be the guy you've been talking about this week Rach."

Wishing she could have dealt with this in person, she tried to explain. "Greg and I need to meet with James Toll and the only time that we could fit in was Friday at 6pm. Greg will be there, it's not a date Happy, Jesus."

Rumbling, Happy's eyes focused on something in the distance as he thought about ways to kill James Toll. "James Toll is a handsy motherfucker. Greg better fuckin be there. Call Jax if you have any problems."

Rolling his eyes at her response, which consisted of things like, I can take care of myself and I don't need Jax to deal with shit, he finally broke in. "Hey! I'm going. Call before you go and when you get home. I won't be able to answer, but I want to see that you called."

More incoherent bitching that basically said the same things came out of the phone. "Stop fuckin arguing Rachel, just do it. I'll probably be home tomorrow night, but if not, then Saturday."

"Fine, although I wonder what's wrong with me that I fell in love with a paranoid beast. Come home soon and stay safe," she snapped only partially joking.

"You too Girl, I will."

* * *

Motherfuckingsonofabitch.

Hissing in pain, he glared at the medic who had just cleaned the bullet track in his right shoulder. Damn bullet had just missed his vest and torn through the fleshy part. He'd be fine, but he couldn't fuckin ride home, twisting the grip would be murder for a few days at least.

Waving off the shit the guy tried to give him, didn't hurt that fucking bad, he decided to man up and call someone to pick his ass up.

"Hey Clay, need a favor. Asshole drilled me in the shoulder and I can't ride tonight. Can you send the flatbed?"

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just need a ride. Fuck."

"I hear ya brother. Sure, I'll send the Prospect over."

* * *

Watching the flatbed pull up, Happy furrowed his brow. There was a bike already on it. Someone else need a ride or what? Then he saw Quinn pull in behind the truck. "Son of a fucking bitch," he bit out. The brothers standing nearby looked at him in alarm.

Groaning in disbelief and swearing to all that is holy that he is going to fucking kill Quinn, Happy tossed his cigarette. Watching Half Sack swing out of the driver's door wasn't that surprising, but he just shook his head slowly when that gorgeous mop of red hair came around the front of the truck.

Shooting a deadly look at Quinn, who was fuckin grinning, Happy looked back at Rachel, who looked worried. As she saw him standing there, she also looked pissed. Her blazing blue eyes suddenly turned to Quinn as she stalked forward.

"You fucking told me he was shot so bad he couldn't ride. You told me in such a way that … oh asshole, I'm putting fucking itching powder in your bed the next time you stay at our place. Do you have any idea ..."

Her tiny little frame was standing in front of Quinn's much larger one waving her arms without an ounce of fear as she tore into his President. _Good fucking thing he's a friend. She knows the difference though. She'd never do this to Clay, no matter how pissed she was._ _She might shoot him, but she wouldn't yell._

Grinning and enjoying the brother's laughter as he watched her rant, he decided maybe he wouldn't kill Quinn today after all. Finally walking over to them, with his back to his laughing brothers, he cleared his throat and cupped her cheek with his left hand when she spun around.

"I'm fine. It was a through and through, no damage, I just can't twist the grip right now," he said reassuringly.

Quinn clapped him on the back and walked past, saying over his shoulder, "You know Rachel; he didn't call you to tell you he was shot." _No, I am going to fucking shoot him._

Jumping in before she could get wound up, he said softly, "I was going to be home in a few hours. I knew you'd worry and I was fine. You would have felt better if you could see that. Quinn is going to die a miserable death for telling you."

Wrapping her arms around his middle and letting him rest his chin on her head, she confessed, "It's not completely his fault. Clay told Kip to gas the flatbed and run it over to Carson City for a pickup before he saw that I was in the room. I was there with Tara before I went to my dinner. Quinn had stopped by on his way somewhere, and saw that I was worrying. He found out what happened and arranged for me to ride over."

Pausing, she suddenly looked up at him in mock suspicion, eyes glittering with laughter. "Happy, please tell me you didn't get shot so I wouldn't go to dinner with James Toll."

Barking out a laugh, he kissed her forehead before he responded. "No girl, I'd have just shot him."

* * *

"Cameron my lad, I regret to be the one to inform ye of this."

...

"There is talk that the Zobelle's didn't run, that the Sons took revenge for things. That they arranged it to make it look like they took a runner."

...

"I canna say for sure, but there was a problem, someone else got in the way. I hear your laddie and the lass had an attachment. It is possible …"

...

"I'll try and confirm Cammie. Dinna do anything until then, your cousin's orders."

* * *

**Next up – Sadness and pain**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way … unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency.**

**Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content.**

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Still in shock and unable to move, Rachel sat staring at Tara's face as she lay in the hospital bed. Her face was so pale against that dark hair. Reaching out a hand, she slowly laid hers on Tara's.

"Please wake up soon Tara. Everyone is really worried. Jax is going insane and Gemma had to lay down for awhile before her heart acted up anymore. But I said I'd stay with you. I'm so happy you're going to be ok."

Sniffling, she kept talking lowly, "I don't know what happened to you, but we need you to wake up and tell us. When I saw you laying there when I was coming to find out why you didn't show for lunch … I didn't know you didn't have your car, or I would have picked you up instead of you getting someone to drop it off for you. Maybe …" unable to continue for a second, Rachel choked off a sob.

"Kip … Half Sack … is dead Tara. You probably know that though. It looked like you tried to help him. We can't find Abel. He's missing and he's so small. Jax is trying to track Wendy down, make sure it wasn't her, but he doesn't think it was."

Crying softly now, she squeezed Tara's hand harder. "You're pregnant, did you know? Jax told me before he left, that the doctors had told him. Do you know how hard it is to see a man as tough as Jax is cry? He loves you so much Tara."

"But you're also our only lead on Abel. We can't find anything. I've spent the hours since I found you looking in the obvious places and there's just nothing. I need a way to narrow it down. The guys need to know what direction the trouble is coming from and we need to get your little boy back."

"I don't know if you can hear me. I don't know if that whole thing about people who are unconscious being able to hear what's going on is true, but just in case it is, just in case you kind of wanted to sleep longer than you have to …"

"Please wake up."

* * *

When Tara opened her eyes, still groggy from the anesthetic, three hours later, Rachel had finally fallen silent and closed her eyes. The last 20 hours, from finding Tara to getting her to the hospital, to having her go into surgery and starting the all out search for what the hell happened and where the fuck Abel was … Rachel was tired. It didn't help that to be able to sit here at all she had to use some of her old anti-anxiety meds, which always made her sleepy.

Now that Tara was out of the surgery that repaired the bullet wound she had gotten in her thigh, the wound that she would have bled to death from if she hadn't made herself a tourniquet, everyone was just … waiting. Waiting for Tara to wake up. Hoping she remembered what happened, since the doctor warned them that some amnesia isn't uncommon with traumatic events.

Feeling the light twitch under her hand, Rachel's eyes shot open. Moving as slowly as she could, because scaring someone who had been shot recently seemed really thoughtless, she sat up so that she was within Tara's eyeline.

"Hi gorgeous."

A gasp of air that tried to be a word, then a frown, and a glance around.

"Water? Doctor said you could have some if you weren't feeling nauseous." Holding the straw still, she tamped down her impatience to begin firing questions.

"Hi. Thanks. What …" Tara looked around. "Hurt?" Looked down at herself. "Leg?"

"Do you remember anything?"

"Fuzzy, kinda? Car at shop, lunch with you?"

Giving her a small smile, Rachel attempted to fill in some blanks, hoping that it would jog her memory. "Yes, your car was apparently at the shop. We were supposed to have lunch and you must have had Half Sack bring it to you and tell him you'd drop him and Abel off at T-M or something …"

"Yeah, but …" Tara frowned again. Rachel remembered that it was like trying to think through wet cotton after anesthesia. "Something … something happened, someone came …"

"Shot! I got shot!" she exclaimed with wide eyes.

"Yes, you did, but you're ok now. You saved your life with that tourniquet. Such a show off," Rachel teased gently. "What else Tara? Who else was there?"

"Can't tell … Half Sack defending me and Abel though, he tried to …"

Rachel gave her a sad look. "Yeah, he did."

"Hurts." Tara looked at her with those big mossy green eyes filled with sadness and pain.

"Your leg? Need me to get a nurse?"

"No, thinking. Half Sack is dead isn …. Oh my GOD, Abel. Is Abel … " Tara now looked horror struck as she realized that Rachel hadn't mentioned Abel.

"I don't know Tara, no one does. I need you to think about who was in that house with you. I need you to think hard about it, because we can't find a trace of Abel." Rachel felt like an absolute shit for putting so much pressure on her friend, but she didn't have much choice. Tara would have told her to do it anyway. Abel was as much her child as he was Jax's.

"I know him. From somewhere. Seems familiar. His voice mostly."

"Tell me about his voice. Was it deep? Did he have an accent? How did he talk, like he was educated or not really?"_ Give me something sweetie, anything._

"Accent … Irish accent." Tara was starting to fade fast, Rachel could see her fighting not to go back to sleep.

"Did he say anything that could help? Anything at all?" _An Irish accent might help the guys._

"Something … uh … something about a Son?" With that final push, Tara was unconscious again.

For almost a full minute, Rachel stared at Tara's face blankly, while trying to process what she had just heard. She could be wrong, but there were only so many ways to interpret that considering recent events.

_Cameron Hayes, the father of Edmond Hayes, who was recently killed by the Sons during the snatch for the Zobelle's, had Abel Teller._

Slowly picking up her phone, she called Jax.

* * *

Curled up on one of the clubhouse couches, taking a break before her eyes started bleeding, Rachel watched Jax drink. She understood the desire. He felt useless; there wasn't anything he could do until someone found a lead on Hayes. He wanted to forget, to drown it.

It wasn't going to help him, but she understood it. Tara would be getting out of the hospital tomorrow. She'd be on crutches for awhile, but she shouldn't have any permanent damage. They had told Chief Unser and Hale that Abel had been kidnapped by a home invader. It was technically true.

Tara was also a hot mess. She felt guilty, especially because she couldn't even remember everything. After the anesthesia wore off, she could pull up Cameron's face and remember working on his leg once; ironically she had sewn up a bullet wound on his thigh as well.

But she couldn't remember him taking Abel. She couldn't remember what he said really. There was a small piece where he was crying and yelling about his son, but when she had heard it, she thought he meant the Sons or one in particular. That was it. She couldn't even remember getting shot.

Kip had been shot stepping in front of Tara, who was holding Abel when Hayes pointed the gun at her. Fuckin brave ass kid had gotten shot in the gut, but there wasn't anything Tara could do, other than apply pressure. He didn't last long. Rachel didn't even know his last name until this.

The only thing Tara remembered with perfect clarity was the sound of her son's terrified screaming over the shouting and gunshot. She told Rachel that when she closed her eyes, that's all she heard.

When she learned she was pregnant, she said that she had never been struck by such an odd desire to both celebrate and mourn at the same time. This child's story would always be marked by Abel's kidnapping, whether they found him or not.

Rachel hoped that Jax and Tara found their way to each other. They were both drowning in this heavy sea of guilt and despair and anger and fear … they'd need something to hold onto until they got a lead.

Sitting up, Rachel went back over to her computer. _Because we will find a fuckin lead. We will get that child back._

* * *

Father Kellan Ashby stared at his cousin and wondered how he couldn't have seen this coming. He blamed himself, he did. He had been worried about his cousin's son, Edmond, and had authorized the use of some investigators that the Real IRA had on their payroll.

Cameron had called, upset, unable to get anywhere with the man he had tried in the States. Father Ashby had demurred, but eventually had agreed to look into it and have the man get back to him. He had specifically included an instruction not to act on that information.

"Cammie my lad, you are holding a bairn."

Cameron looked up at him, nervous and defiant. "Aye, cousin, I am. I was going to kill the wee one, but I couldna."

Remembering the calls from the Sons in California, he knew exactly whose babe that was, but he had to be sure. "And the bairn is whose then laddie?"

"They took my boy. They killed him. I took one of their sons. The only one who would hurt as badly."

"You reckless gorm. Do you have any idea of the storm that you have brought down upon our heads then?"

"We're family Kellan, they killed part of your family. My boy!"

Stalking to stare at the elaborate carving of Jesus in the front of the church, he nodded. "Perhaps. That wasn't proven. That was why you were told not to act on the information." Turning, he held his cousin in place with his eyes. "And when the Sons come here then? Do you imagine that they won't track you here?"

"I was careful, I used aliases. I went through different countries. I tried to kill it, but I coudna, it's only a babe. Maureen said she would watch him for awhile, but not long."

"Give me the babe, I'll take it to Maureen then. You, you will hide yourself. Not here, not in this country." Taking the child and stepping away from his cousin, he bounced the boy a bit as he walked away. Hearing the crack of a neck being broken, he sighed and walked on.

He'd stash the bairn with Maureen until he could make proper arrangements for the child's new life. He would also point an investigator towards Charming. He wanted to be forewarned if they were coming here.

Damn his cousin to hell.

* * *

Happy sat on the end of the bed and watched Rachel get ready for Half Sack's wake. Even drowning in grief, she was beautiful. He knew how close she had been Half Sack. All that time the kid spent guarding her … and Rachel wasn't one to let someone hang around her without getting to know them. Shit he had lived with them for awhile. He had liked the young punk too.

His death, and the fact that he had proven his integrity and loyalty to the end, was hitting her hard. He didn't go down in a blaze of bullets doing something he could have chosen not to do … he stood in front of a woman holding a baby and took a bullet for her. She was doing her best not to break down outside the house, but his girl was definitely struggling. Tonight would be emotional.

If that wasn't enough of a heavy burden to lay on her shoulders, dealing with the death of a friend, as the days passed, more and more hope was being placed that she could find something about Abel. The Sons were hitting everyone they could, trying to find a lead on where Cameron had gone or even what kind of transportation he had used, but other than a couple of small hints, there wasn't much.

So Rachel, having vastly different contacts than anyone else, more diverse and fuckin everywhere … she was being steadily buried under the pressure to find something. Anything. Since she loved Abel just as much as the rest of them, she was putting even more pressure on herself.

In order to function during the day, so she didn't fall apart, like Jax was and even Tara did some days, she was pushing everything away. He could almost see her sliding all of her emotions away so that she could do the search the way it needed to be done, systematically and with no more regard for the information than how the puzzle fit together.

It was killing her to do it, because some of the shit she had under consideration was enough to make him want to gag. Fuckin child dealers, where they sell babies for fucks sake. He was too young for some of the really sick shit like porn or slavery, but she still had to sift through some of it. She was trying to hide all of that from Jax, Tara, and Gemma too because she didn't want to worry them more. If that was possible.

As she finished putting on her earrings and came over to him, he tugged her down sideways onto his lap. "How you doing girl?"

Letting him wrap his arms around her as she leaned against his shoulder, she tried to keep her voice from quivering. "I'm trying Hap, I am."

"Oh girl, I know. You don't have to try here, not with me. You know that." Smiling sadly, he pulled her closer to his chest and tried to think of what he could do to help. Sliding his hand along her back, he finally decided that he'd do what he had done the last few nights. He'd hold her and let her cry, rub her back and tell her that shit would work out eventually.

Feeling her hot tears slide down his neck, Happy felt his rage and hatred for Cameron Hayes rise again. He was going to pay for every fucking tear Rachel had shed over this. That fucker and anyone else involved in this bullshit was dead. Period.

* * *

Emotionally drained and getting more scared every day that she wouldn't find anything, Rachel was pushing her contacts much harder than usual. Her friends, the first tier, understood, but the ones after that were seeing a lot more pushback from her than they were used to. She was exposing herself a bit too much, but she didn't see much of a choice.

Knowing that she couldn't afford to alienate them, she gave some of them a little more information than she wanted, but we were talking about a baby here for gods sake. The baby part usually helped speed things along, but every time she had to use Abel's kidnapping to prod them into working faster, her heart broke a little more.

Now two and a half weeks after Kip had been killed, Tara shot, and Abel kidnapped, Rachel was pushing closer to something. She could feel it, lingering in the air, could almost taste it, but she couldn't decide what it was yet.

When she initially started, she automatically worked it from Hayes last point of contact. He had been here, where did he go? Follow him. Unfortunately the fucker was good at running. Not having enough contacts on the streets, since so much of her information flowed through boardrooms and ballrooms and ledgers, she had to abandon that about a week ago.

Rachel moved onto the much less precise approach of, where the fuck would he go? Same answer sometimes … maybe … but a different way of asking it. She pulled information on every member of the bastard's family, his past, his work history, the people he worked with, his habits, and where he had been before in the world. She wanted to know how often he had been to a country in the last few years; it meant he was probably comfortable there.

Would he go to family? Friends? Who would he go to ground with? Is he the type of man, at least on paper, who would murder or sell a child? Even a child of someone he thought had killed his own?

The answers to all of that, in addition to the information she had to dig up on some of the sickest shit she never wanted to get into again, was whirling around in her head. She had her finger on something, there was … something.

Wanting to go for a run, but knowing that if she did Happy would go insane, since they didn't know where Cameron was or what he could be planning next, she settled for pacing in the yard. _Oh Kip, I'm going to miss our runs._ Peanut decided that walking in circles didn't count and lay down by the door, just watching her. Walking around and around the perimeter of the yard, she let the information settle and shift and form new patterns.

An hour later, Rachel stopped so suddenly that she almost fell over. It would be so fucking obvious, and yet not. Looking up, she saw Happy leaning on the frame of the patio door, waiting for her to tell him what she had thought of. _He knows me so well._

"Have you ever been to Ireland?"

* * *

It was unanimously decided that Christmas would be celebrated when they had Abel back. And Rachel was pretty sure they could get him back. Maybe.

After sitting down with Chibs and getting an education on how the Irish do things, at least the Irish she was concerned with, she thought she knew what happened. She even found some phone records that seem to support it.

Rachel had never wanted to be surer about anything in her life. The only problem is that while she had tracked Abel to Belfast, she lost him again. She needed more information. Her only contacts in that country were in banking and government. If she could find somewhere to follow money, that'd be great, otherwise she needed feet on the ground.

Those feet were why almost the entire SAMCRO charter would be flying to Belfast tomorrow. Tara and Gemma would be going with Clay and Jax. Juice would feed information back to Rachel online so that they could coordinate. Happy would go for muscle, Chibs for relations with the Irish, and Bobby because he was so freakin calm most of the time he could smooth the worst temper. _It has to be all the pot he puts in the muffins._

Piney, Opie, Tig, and Rachel would be staying back. The guys mainly to keep T-M running, while Rachel did her thing tracking Abel. Tig had apparently fought hard to go, but was overruled.

"I'm going to miss you," she whispered to Happy as they were lying in bed the night before he left.

Happy pulled her closer to him on the bed, pushing her flat so he could lean over her. "I'm going to miss you too girl, but we're getting there. We'll get Abel back and start the New Year right." Giving her a half smile, he leaned down and kissed the corner of her mouth before sliding to her ear. "I'm so proud of you. I know how hard the last few weeks have been on you. You have been so fucking strong."

Looking up into those warm eyes, eyes that she used to see nothing reflected back in, she lifted a hand and put it to his cheek. "The only reason I made it is because you were there Happy. You anchored me, gave me something to steady myself on when it got to be too much. When we find him, you helped just as much as I did."

As she started to form the words, I love you; he leaned down and stole them from her. Laying his body partially on hers, he slowly tilted her head and moved his lips over hers. Soon he was gently tugging on her bottom lip, before sliding his tongue inside her mouth, to lick and caress hers, deepening the kiss slowly.

Working his way from her lips to her ear, he told her how beautiful she was like this, with her hair mussed and her eyes so alive, and how fuckin much he always wanted her. How he had always wanted her, from the first moment he saw her, how much more he wants her now, because she's so much more now than she was then.

Brushing kisses along her collarbone, he remembered how she had once tapped his and said that more than anything, she wanted him to live for his family, to live for her. He used his fingertips to draw circles around her nipple. Feeling it pebble, he pressed his hips against her while he slowly tugged one with his fingers and the other with his teeth and tongue.

Knowing that tonight could be their last night together for awhile, he wanted to draw this out. He wanted to leave her with enough memories to get through the long nights alone when he wouldn't be there to help her deal with all of this. He knew it was going to get bad for her when he left. It had been bad when she had him here as an outlet. Now they were all leaving her basically alone and hoping she could work magic. It was a fucked up situation. But he could do this … he could try to give her this.

Using fingertips roughened by working at the garage, lips that knew her body better than she did, and a tongue that knew just what to say and how to tease to make her gasp and moan and press herself against him, Happy took his time. Mapping every inch, from the swell of her breast to the dip in her back, to the ticklish spot behind her right knee, he kissed and touched and told her without speaking how much he loved her.

Not allowing her to respond more actively than simple touches and hot kisses against whatever skin she could reach, he used wickedly knowing fingers to stroke and plunge and circle where she was hottest and always so wet and slick for him, watching her eyes go hazy and fill those deep blue pools with pleasure until she was limp.

Finally shifting between her legs, he wrapped them around his waist as he slid home. He had been holding on to his control for so long he didn't think he could make this as long or soft as he wanted. Putting his lips to her ear, he quietly murmured how good she felt. Bracing himself and staring directly into her eyes, he began to thrust deeply into her body.

Later, feeling her spasm tight around him again, her body shaking as he teased one last orgasm out of her, he clenched his jaw and held on long enough to make sure her eyes were focused on him again. Still holding her eyes, cradling her head in his hands, lips hovering above hers, his hips rolled forward one final time as he whispered, "I love you."

* * *

Taking the keys for the SUV from Gemma the next morning, she tried to smile at her lover and family. She didn't think she'd ever been more terrified in her life. She couldn't fail on this. Not on this. "I will do everything I can, I promise."

Looking at Jax and Tara, she gave them both a hug and whispered, "This will work out somehow, I just know it."

Swallowing tightly as she was passed from one set of arms to the other, she finally made it to Happy. Viciously trying to clamp down on her tears, she almost didn't make it when he gave her the same soft look as he had last night. "Don't Happy please. I can't if you … please," she begged.

Nodding, he reached out and drew her in to his body, sheltering her from everyone else by putting his back to them. Hovering his lips next to her ear, he whispered to her, "I will always be just a phone call away. You have to take care of yourself and fuckin eat and sleep. It'll be ok Rach. Just need to believe that yourself. You always do your best, no one expects more."

She swallowed and lifted her head. "I love you, be safe, come back to me." Almost losing it on the last word, she forced a smile and let him pull her in for his kiss.

She smiled for real when he rubbed her jaw with his thumb and said seriously, "You too, be good, and always."

* * *

Smiling tightly at Piney and Opie who had also brought vehicles to the airport, she told them she'd meet them back at T-M where her car was parked.

Sitting in the driver's seat, she let herself cry for about two minutes, just enough to release some pressure. Glancing into the rearview mirror, she stared into her own eyes. "I can do this. I will not fail. Then they'll be back and the business of life will go on. I just have to get through this to do that."

Pushing every bit of emotion down into the cage she had constructed over the last couple of weeks, the one that let her look at children being cruelly treated and wouldn't allow herself to see Abel in their faces, she turned the key.

* * *

"Father Ashby this is Mitch, there's something I need to tell you sir." The accent that came through the phone was American, letting him place the voice and name to the investigator he had watching the Sons in Charming.

"Aye, what is it then?" Kellan brusquely replied.

A throat was cleared and then, "The majority of the Sons are boarding a flight and will be in Belfast tomorrow. The reservation didn't show up until today on my search for some reason."

_Shite._ "Who did they leave behind?" He grabbed his file on the Sons he had updated when Cameron first came to him.

"Well I don't know that really, but I can tell you who's goin …" _Idiot, why are we paying you then?_

"Fine, who is going then?"

"Oh ok, let's see Clarence Morrow, Jackson Teller, Filip Telford, Tomás Lowman, Robert Munson, and Juan Ortiz. Oh and two women, Gemma Teller-Morrow and Tara Knowles." _ That doesn't leave much behind, Alexander Trager, Harry Winston, and Piermont Winston. _

"What did you find out about the lass, the new one I had you look into … Rachel Taylor," he asked.

Hearing a chuckle, the voice sounded impressed. "Oh she is interesting now. I'm not sure how she ended up with the Sons, but she used to be a big shot in my world. I didn't recognize her name because she went by Sniffer, she's always been so careful to stay anonymous. She has been all over looking for some kid lately though. Usually she's real delicate like, hard to even tell what she's looking for … not this time. She's using a sledgehammer and waving a lot of money around for information."

Going on, the deep voiced American said, "I don't even have to hazard a guess as to who set them on a plane to Belfast. She's good, always has been. See's shit the rest of us don't. If you can, I'd steer clear of her."

"Thank you for your information, the payment will be posted to your account." Hanging up, he wondered if hiding this child was the correct avenue to take. Remembering the child's grandfather, and how hard the son's life had been … yes, this was right. But this woman, this woman would find the boy, if Mitch was correct.

Tapping a finger on the desk, he suddenly punched a series of numbers into his phone. "I need someone taken care of as soon as possible. The name is Rachel Taylor, lives in Charming, California. I'll have the details sent to you."

Getting a confirmation that it would be taken care of within the week, Father Ashby leaned against his chair and folded his hands over his large belly. It was a shame really, but it had to be done.

To protect the innocent.

* * *

**Next up – Clues on Abel surface and Rachel realizes she's in trouble**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way … unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency.**

**Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content.**

* * *

**Chapter 23**

After picking up her car, Rachel drove downtown, smiling sadly when she passed Denning's. Had it only been a few weeks ago that she had been in there last? It had been both incredibly difficult and frightfully easy to make the decision to take some time off.

The day Tara had woken up in the hospital and they realized who had taken Abel, Rachel had known that she was going to be needed. The Sons would look underground for Abel, but she would need to look aboveground, and her reach was a lot wider. Looking at her life, she had spared a moment or two for self pity, and then ruthlessly started cutting.

On the way home that same day, she stopped by and spoke with Greg. She had thanked him for the job and told him how much she appreciated him saving her. Rachel knew that she had taken entirely too much time off recently, and they were heading into their busiest season, but this problem superseded everything else. Requesting a minimum six month sabbatical, she offered to consult occasionally after things settled down.

Greg had not been happy, at all. She could tell he wanted to blame the Sons, but he was still enough of a friend that he didn't do it to her face at least. Frankly at this point she didn't care. He had a right to be pissed off, and she could see from his perspective how this looked. Arguing the point with him right now would be less than productive. They eventually agreed to meet back up in six months and see how things stood.

From Denning's, she went straight to the volunteer coordinator for the Shelter. Explaining that personal business would make it impossible for her to continue teaching the class for an unknown amount of time, she gave her some names she had asked around for when she had been hurt by Weston. The instructors would need to come into Charming from surrounding towns, but it was the best she could offer at this point.

Then she went home and started working. She hadn't stopped since. Well unless Happy made her. He had been very … attentive, lately. Rachel knew he was worried, but … she couldn't stop.

* * *

Leaning back against the bed in the small room that he had claimed, Happy wondered why this country made him feel so uneasy. There was the obvious shit, from the way some of the SAMBEL guys had been, to that bullshit with the cops, or guarda as they call them here. But there was some weird undercurrent going on.

Gemma and that Maureen woman were already growling territorially at each other. Jax and Tara were practically quivering with impatience to just fuckin find Abel. Chibs was being very careful about everything after seeing his wife and child, something else going on there too. _This definitely isn't a damn vacation._

Fuck. What it really came down to is that he was worried about Rachel. He had that same shitty feeling he had when he went to New York a couple months ago. Like there was trouble coming and he wasn't seeing it. Thinking about all the problems he saw in just a day, maybe he was just seeing trouble everywhere? _Better fuckin stay safe girl._

* * *

Staring at her untraceable laptop, Rachel tapped her nails on the desk nervously.

The other night was the first night in awhile that she had gotten most of a good night's sleep. With Happy loving her until she almost passed out and then holding her all night, she had woken up feeling better physically than she had in weeks. Until she had sat down here this afternoon, she hadn't realized that the lack of sleep was affecting her judgment so badly.

Her typical stealthy approach had been thrown out the window early on, but she hadn't realized how loud she was being. While she had thought about it occasionally, she hadn't seen any reason for alarm. Now, with a good night's sleep and a meal, she realized how reckless she had been and that her name was out there. Apparently a lot. Some of her traps had been sprung, but didn't catch anyone. So someone was looking into her, but she didn't have a trace on them yet.

Resetting the traps and making her daily check in call, Rachel wondered if she should notify anyone about this. Happy was literally on another continent in a situation where he had to stay alert and help provide security for what was basically family. There wasn't anything he could do. Realizing that this sounded suspiciously like the justifications she had made when he was in New York, she decided that if any other traps were set off, she'd tell the guys who were still here and get advice. _See Happy, I can take my safety seriously even when you're not yelling at me. I miss you, you big jerk._

* * *

Ireland was fucked up. Jesus Christ. Whatever they put in the water here or the ale or whatever, shit. Old mistresses with hidden children popping up. Fuckin priests taking babies and giving them to … someone. Jax and Clay had roared and threatened and in general tried to intimidate a man who simply flicked off their anger like they were toddlers.

He knew men like this Ashby guy. They believed so fiercely in what they did that they couldn't be swayed from their path. Fuckin priest simply knew that Abel would be better away from Jax because he was a Son. Since he knew that, he made it happen. The fuck.

Staring at the priest with a cold flat expression, Happy absently considered how long it would be before he got to torture him. Professionally assessing the likelihood of getting him to talk, he wondered if he had any loved ones around. Guy would probably go down singing hymns even as he bled out. Same guy might crack much easier if you threaten to hurt someone he loved. _I'm pretty sure Jax's sister's mother is out. The hell kind of fucked up relationship …_

At least Rachel had a name to start with. Juice had gotten it to her as soon as they figured out what was going on.

* * *

Scaring the hell out of Peanut, Rachel suddenly jumped up and screamed. "YES!" _I got you motherfucker. Well I'm close to getting you. I got the fuckin thread at least. HAH! I can feel you, can you feel me?_

Looking at the clock she groaned. She wouldn't be able to get a hold of Alisha for another 6 hours. This 8 hour time difference was ridiculous. If Alisha could find something … might be better to have her call Jax directly. If she didn't, then she could call Rachel.

Tapping her fingers on the desk, Rachel wondered how the fuck she was going to fill six hours as jazzed with energy as she was. She wanted to wake Alisha up and get her started now, but she was only 'allowed' to contact her at work. It was still going to be a bitch of a job to go through all those records. The 'sale' amount made her want to gag, but she needed to know how many orphanages in the general area gave a kickback to the dear Padre.

If they could get that info to Clay and Jax, they could start searching the buildings while Alisha sent her and Juice the names of any … purchasers, she wasn't going to fuckin call them parents … in the last three weeks, just to be safe. She and Juice could start organizing that search and put it into play if the orphanages didn't work out. They just had to do this all before it was noticed that Ashby was missing. _ I hope Happy is having fun with him. I may be an atheist, but even I know that men of God would never act like this._

Cracking her knuckles and bouncing a little, she finally went for a run. At least she knew Cameron wasn't around. _God I wish we could have killed him. A fuckin broken neck was way too good for him. I hope he burns in hell._

* * *

Rachel decided to swing by T-M on her run, because honestly she didn't really have anything else to do until it was time to call Alisha. Putting on running clothes that covered a bit more than normal, because c'mon, Tig was there and Happy wasn't, she took the long way, arriving at the lot in the early evening. _I like Tig, but the man is a hound._

Turning her jog into a sprint as she hit the gates and heard the shouting, she came to a complete stop as she stared in disbelief. Opie was beating the fuck out of Tig. Like angry, I will kill you motherfucker, beating. And Tig wasn't fighting back. _How the hell do you not fight back? How much control does it take to allow someone to hit you over and over? What the hell is going on?_

Putting Peanut on a down, because she couldn't figure out what else to do, she frantically tried to decide if this was something she should stay out of. Considering the fact again that Tig wasn't fighting back, she reluctantly decided that it wasn't her business. _Although I am going to make sure no one dies, because that would be hell to explain when everyone got back. I'm pretty sure trying to tell Happy that he had requested that I be less curious wouldn't fly in this situation._

Seeing Piney come out of the office, she turned to look at him with a 'what the hell am I supposed to be doing?' expression. The satisfaction on his face made her think he had a bit more knowledge than she did on what was happening. _Not that it's hard to have more knowledge than none._

Suddenly Piney groaned while grabbing his chest and bending over. Moving quickly she yelled, "Opie! Something's wrong with Piney." Not sure what to do, since anything other than basic first aid was beyond her, she settled for telling him to try and breathe slowly, that Opie was coming.

Head swiveling to make sure she wasn't lying, she was prepared to shoot at Opie if she had to. She didn't want to plan Piney's funeral, she liked Piney a lot. No more death goddamnit. Fighting down the feeling she got when she thought about Kip, she moved out of the way for Opie.

"Pop, what is it? Your heart?" Standing back, she watched as Opie determined that whatever was wrong with Piney it needed to be handled at the hospital. Seeing that Piney didn't fight him at all on it alarmed Rachel. She'd been around Piney enough to know that he liked the hospital as much as she did.

Speaking up now, she said apologetically to Opie, "I can't go with you, I'm sorry. I have that damn phobia, and I can't be away from the search." _God now I feel like total shit. _"I'll see if I can patch Tig up enough so that he doesn't choke to death on his own blood. I assume if you were going to kill him, he'd be dead." Not getting anything from that statement other than a look, Rachel decided to let it go. _He's not dead, ergo you didn't want to kill him, it's not that hard to figure out. Pull out a gun and shoot his ass. Dead. Done. Or is it a man thing?_

Giving Piney a kiss and telling him to feel better as they left, she walked down to Tig as he sat on the ground bleeding from what looked like his entire face. "C'mon Tig, I know where Tara hides her supplies. We'll get you cleaned up enough that you don't scare people into thinking you're in a horror film and you can go drink whatever this is away. It'll pass, shit always does."

It was creepy to have him follow silently with that red mask on. "C'mon Peanut, let's go in." _Zombies are not real, right? Damn Juice for making me watch that movie._

* * *

A little after midnight, California time, Rachel was finally able to contact Alisha and get the ball rolling on the orphanages. Alisha was fired up and pissed off in her uniquely Irish way. Rachel understood about three words of this really long rant. But those words were important, since they conveyed that Alisha would be taking care of this shit right now. What was most amusing about it was that normally Alisha had this very proper way of speaking with only the barest hint of an accent. You knew she was pissed when she dropped into a brogue.

Giving her Jax and Juice's numbers and information, she asked that she call Jax directly if she found anything. That it would be easier to talk back and forth with him so there wasn't any lag. If she found any data she needed help sifting through, she could dump it on Rachel and Juice. Juice would be able to work directly with Jax if Rachel wasn't at her computer though.

Making sure she had everything handled, she passed a message to everyone through Juice that Piney had to go to the hospital. Then she rolled over, away from her computer, and slept soundly for the first time since Happy left. _We're coming Abel._

She completely forgot about making her call for the second day in a row.

* * *

When Rachel woke up the next morning, she was hungry for the first time in days. She'd been forcing herself to eat, mostly because Happy had mentioned something about kicking her ass if she lost any more weight, but she hadn't been hungry in a long time. _And of course, we have no food._

Putting Peanut outside since it was such a great day out, she wrote up a list of things she needed. Shifting from foot to foot in the doorway of her office, she finally decided that no, she didn't need to watch her email that religiously. If Alisha didn't find anything, she'd call. Forcing herself to the grocery store would at least make it harder to obsess.

Pulling into the garage a little after noon, she hit the button for the door and then looked around before getting out of the car. Something was … different. Unable to see what it was, and starting to feel paranoid, Rachel gathered up her purse and grabbed a bunch of bags. Pushing open the cracked door to the kitchen, she ….

_Cracked? I don't leave doors cracked, I locked that fucker. I always lock that door._

Dropping the bags and trying to get to the gun she was carrying, Rachel dimly recognized the sound of both Peanut snarling and the cocking of a gun near her ear. Every muscle in her body froze instantly. _That sound is fucking terrifying this close._

Releasing her purse when it was asked for, she heard her phone being smashed before he finally located what he wanted. Finally coming around to her front, where she could see him, she was confused. _This is not a home invasion. This guy? Not a robber. Fuck. Happy is going to fucking kill me if I survive this._

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she tried to listen to the tall dark haired man with the olive complexion and a large Roman nose giving her instructions as he dug through her purse for her ID. _His voice is nice. How wrong is it that someone who wants to kill me has a nice voice? Fuck, need a plan here Rach. Soonish. He's here specifically for me. He wants to make sure I'm who he thinks I am so he can kill me. That's nice, that he's checking first. I'd appreciate that if I weren't the target._

They were still standing in the hallway near the kitchen, and over his shoulder she could see Peanut doing what he must have done that night in her car so long ago at the Shelter. He was furiously barking and throwing himself at the patio doors, literally ramming himself against the glass and wood frame. The man was completely ignoring him at least. She didn't want to see her dog killed in front of her.

_Plan damnit! He has my gun, and the knife I'm carrying is much too small to bring to a gun fight. There are other knives in the kitchen, but again, knives in a gun fight. Plus he's at least 10 inches taller than I am and I'd guess a good 75-100 lbs heavier. Me with a knife would just be fucking annoying before he snapped my neck._

_Most of my guns are locked up … except the one in my fanny pack._ Darting her eyes to the living room, she could clearly see her fanny pack on the coffee table. If she remembered right and god did she hope she did, it was still loaded. The safety could easily be flipped without opening the pack … _I think._

Half assed as the plan was, 'shoot him before he shoots me', it ended up being all she had. Right then an opportunity occurred that wasn't going to happen again. Peanut came through the door like a rocket, straight at the man's back.

* * *

"Hello, may I speak to Jackson Teller please?" The rich cultured voice of a woman came out of his phone.

"This is Jax, who's this?" he asked while waiting with narrowed eyes. Jax had gotten a lot harder and more suspicious in the last month.

"My name is Alisha. I work for … well I'm a friend of Rachel Taylor's. She asked me to contact you directly with some information when I located it. She indicated that you were here in Ireland and she didn't want the difference of time to become an issue. I believe she also mentioned a man called … Juice." The voice on the other end of the line trailed off amused.

"A'ight, one second, let me see if she left a message with him." Pounding on Juice's door, he walked in and kicked the mattress. "Yo, wake up. See if Rachel left you anything about someone named Alisha."

Mumbled groaning came out from under the pillow, "Yes, she did. I saw it earlier and figured when she called … wait …" sitting up quickly, he looked at Jax with his phone in his hand. "She fuckin called? Jax get the information, Rachel was pretty hyped about it. Said, and I quote, 'This is it Juice, I can feel it.'"

Nodding and backing out of the room where Juice was already throwing on clothes, Jax said into the phone, "Ok, sorry about that, we're just trying to be careful. Ireland isn't our stomping ground."

"Not a problem at all, Rachel indicated to me that it may happen. I find she's quite good at anticipating situations."

"Yeah, that she is. What do you have for us?" Putting it on speakerphone, Jax tried not to get his hopes up, but Rachel was fuckin good at this shit. If she was tellin Juice …

A very happy sound came through the phone, and then her voice said, "I do believe I've narrowed down the orphanages …"

Jax interrupted quickly. "Wait what? What orphanages!"

Breaking into the yelling, Alisha said crisply, "I can understand why Rachel kept so much back. She's been not only tracking your son based on **who** could have him, but **why** they still have him. One of her line of inquiries was paid adoption. Families who will pay for babies." Pausing, she let him run down a bit.

"When she crossed that line with Father Kellan Ashby, she was able to find what seemed to be suspicious revenue streams intersecting. Rachel called me first thing and requested that I run some searches under the table for her. If I were to find anything, I was to contact Mr. Teller immediately and give him the names of the orphanages, or if I had them, the names of any adoptive parents that have purchased a child in the last couple of weeks."

Jax stared at Tara with a faint look of hope on his face. "So you're calling, because you have that information?"

"I am sending that information directly to this … Juice person's email now. I needed to verify that you did in fact receive it and make sure you didn't have any questions. I would like your person to email me back when you have completed your search. The orphanages will be abruptly shutting down after that." The voice on the other end of the phone suddenly did that thing like Rachel's did when she was pissed. _Do they teach that somewhere?_

Looking at Juice as he walked into the room, Jax saw him grinning and flashing a thumbs up. "It looks like we've received it. Thank you so much Alisha. We owe you."

"No Mr. Teller, you don't. I owed Rachel. I've copied the email I sent you to her so that she is kept informed. My number is at the bottom; if you need anything else related to this matter, please feel free to call me. Also, if you could convey my deepest regrets to your entire family that this has occurred in our country, I would appreciate it. Goodbye then."

Everyone looked at Juice, but only Jax said, "Juice?"

"There are three orphanages on here. The email suggests we look there first and then there are two couples. There's a note here that says, 'Rachel mentioned that anyone who didn't pay through a wire transfer would probably not be found this way', so we should get the records at each place as well." Scribbling out the addresses on three separate pieces of paper, Juice held them up.

"Who's going with who?"

* * *

Spinning around at the sound of the door splintering, the man raised the gun at Peanut just in time for Rachel to kick the back of his knee to throw him off balance and ruin his aim. Wishing she could beat the fuck out of him, but knowing that he'd win any physical fight, she spun away as soon as she connected. Letting a snarling Peanut deal with him for now, she raced to the living room. Hearing a yelp behind her, but not a gunshot, she kept moving.

_Get to the gun, get to the gun, get to the gun._

Tripping over Happy's tennis shoes next to the couch, _the fuck are those doing there_, Rachel suddenly felt like she was being knifed along her left side, just before she heard the crack of a shot. _That was a bullet. You weren't knifed, that was a fuckin bullet._ Dropping to the ground as she grabbed the fanny pack, she flipped the safety and rose up on one knee to see the fucker aiming at her dog.

Squeeze. Five pounds of pressure. And then he was dead.

* * *

An aerial view of the Irish countryside would have seen numerous motorcycles and three vehicles all headed different directions at a high rate of speed.

Jax, Tara, and Gemma each led a group. Within two hours, phones were ringing with the news that Abel had been found by Jax.

They'd done it.

* * *

Rachel sat on the floor with one hand on her gun and the other resting on Peanut. "Oh yes baby, you're getting steak dinners for the rest of your life. I'll even figure out a way to make the Sons babysit you so you get all of the loving you want." _We lived. We're fine. He's barely hurt. I'm bleeding a bit, but it's fine. We're fine. Survival is the most important thing, anything can be dealt with if you survive._

So. _Someone tried to shoot me. Do I call the cops? _ If she called Unser and Hale, they're going to start to wonder why someone is after her. If they or anyone else digs too deeply, considering she'd recently blown her fuckin anonymity to hell … how many threads are there going to the Sons? To the information she's pulled out of systems that can get her thrown into jail or would start an international incident? To the people that have trusted her to keep information to herself and not get them fired, thrown in jail or even killed?

Standing up slowly, moving a hand to her side, she saw that she was still bleeding, but the wound seemed to be mostly … _ew, it cauterized itself. Ick._ Staring blankly around, she realized slowly that this probably had something to do with Abel and her searches. Probably. It was a professional hit, even she could tell that much, but how the hell should she know where it came from? _I want Happy. He'd know. I really don't want to deal with this._

Remembering the sound of her phone crunching, she still went to see if it could dial. Discovering that it was pretty much destroyed, she walked a wide circle around the man who was missing some of his skull, and picked up the house phone. _Fucker must have cut the wires, so no internet either. _Fine. So she'll go to T-M. It's not far, she can do that. _This is easier when you're a child and you don't have to worry about things like cleanup or all of the other things that could go wrong. Or you know, someone else does this part._ Vaguely recognizing that she was pushing closer to shock, she grabbed a juice out of the fridge and downed it, hoping the sweetness would help.

Herding Annabel and Lily into the room with the litter boxes and shutting the door, after making sure they had extra food and water, Rachel stopped in the bedroom to change her bloody clothes. _Fuckin ow, Jesus, is this what Happy's shoulder felt like? No wonder he got bitchy when I poked him that one time._ Pouring some peroxide along the gash made her want to pee herself it hurt so bad, but she finally managed to work through it enough to follow that with alcohol and then wrap it in gauze.

Putting on some fresh clothes that she thought would hide blood the best, she quickly tossed enough things together to last a few days. Opening her gun safe and pulling out a couple handguns, she grabbed ammo from Happy's closet. Back in the kitchen, she bagged up food for Peanut and grabbed a few things for herself. _I'm forgetting something. Fuck, I'm probably forgetting all kinds of shit, I'm lucky I'm fucking moving still. _

Setting everything by the back door, she shooed Peanut into the garage and shut the door. Then Rachel stepped out the front door and quickly looked in the front windows. You could see the back door definitely, but if she kicked the frame back in a bit and smashed out the rest of the glass, it would be less noticeable. The body and blood though … that was going to need to be moved. If she couldn't find help and had to hide for awhile, she didn't want someone to see it. _I might be able to drag it outside, but what, then I bury it in the yard? The guys will help, even if I can't find someone right now. Surely they'll help._

Gritting her teeth, she grabbed the corpse's ankles and pulled it around the corner. _Thank god for hardwood floors, sliding shit is so much easier on them. _Grabbing some old towels, she soaked them with blood and tried not to breathe. This much blood was like swimming in copper, and there were chunks of … _don't think about it. You were in the kitchen and spilled something is all. Just don't think about what you're doing. This is so completely different than Weston somehow. Also, what the hell, you couldn't have done this before you changed?_

Walking back to the windows, she decided it was good enough. Besides, she was going straight to T-M. They'd know how to deal with this. Tig looks like he knows all the tricks, and Piney has been around for a long time. Opie seems sweet, but he is a Son, so surely he knows how to … _they'll help. Even I have limits to what I can do. _

* * *

After spending a couple hours holding his son, and fighting his mother and girlfriend for that right, Jax and Clay finally went to see Father Ashby. The good Father was currently their … guest. They still didn't know what the fuck to do with him.

Nodding to Happy to go get something to eat, since he was currently sitting on the door to make sure no one went inside, Jax strode in confidently and gave the good Father a nice fuck you smile. "Sorry Father, We did bring you some food, just a bit late, we were having a bit of a celebration. I'm sure you understand."

Waiting, because this guy was cagey, Clay spoke next. "Seems that as good as you are, you're not quite as good as we are. We picked up my grandson today from the orphanage that you had placed him in."

"Who the fuck are you to decide my son should be with strangers, that he may grow up unloved in a fuckin orphanage because you don't agree with how I live? You're a priest who recently signed off on the murder of your own fuckin cousin. You stole a baby. I'm pretty fuckin sure that God isn't happy with you," Jax stated in a low deadly tone.

"Oh, that is too bad. Two murders committed to keep that child out of such desperate circumstances, and now both in vain, as the child will be returned anyway." Father Ashby said sadly.

Narrowing his eyes, Clay broke in, "Two murders Padre? Cameron Hayes sure. Who is the other?"

Looking surprised, he looked at the two of them. "No one has notified you of her death yet? I was told that it would be happening this week. It is the end of the week, aye?"

Blood draining from his tan face, Jax looked at Clay. Looking back at the piece of shit that he was no longer ambivalent about, he asked, "Her? A woman? Who?"

"Why Miss Taylor of course. She's the only reason you found the child isn't she then? I knew immediately that it would be her. So very dedicated and selfless she is. I understand that in order to get you this far, she had to strip away many layers of anonymity that she used to keep herself unknown." _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I knew you were … damnit Rachel. I'm so fucking sorry. Thank you._

Turning around and walking out, with Clay right behind him, Jax shut the door and leaned against it. "We can't tell Happy, not yet. We need to try and get hold of Rachel. This could all be smoke."

"I agree, you try Rachel, I'm calling the clubhouse. Get Juice to see if he can get her online," Clay ordered as he walked off dialing.

The thought uppermost in both men's mind, was 'Happy is going to go fucking insane'.

* * *

Walking off to get some dinner, Happy was dialing Rachel. They'd made it a point not to use their cells much while he was international, not that she couldn't afford it, but because they needed to stay focused. He knew if she needed him she'd call. Otherwise she was sending him notes through Juice. _Although I'm going to have to smack her ass for that last one. 'Tell him I need a teddy bear if he's going to be gone much longer, I need something to sleep with.' The fuck Rachel!_

Listening to it ring and then go to voice mail, he left a message, but was disturbed. It wasn't like Rachel not to answer when he called. With Abel missing, he'd have thought … well she'd call back when she could. Unless someone told her already that he was safe, she might be finally sleeping.

* * *

Pulling into T-M, Rachel was amazed to see it so deserted. The office was shut and locked and it looked like … garage doors were down, clubhouse empty, no cars or bikes in sight. Come to think of it, there wasn't much traffic on the road either. _Tig wasn't a zombie, you checked. Coincidence._ Well fuck. Now what? _I hope Piney is ok. Oh! He could be at the cabin!_

The cabin was suddenly the best thing she had heard of all day. She knew how to get there, there was room for her and Peanut, even if she had to break in, and she didn't think many people knew about it. Well other than Sons anyway. Plus, maybe Piney would be there. Not having to worry about watching her back in town or anyone wondering why she was staying at a hotel/motel … definitely the cabin.

Switching her gaze between the clubhouse door and the office door for T-M, Rachel tried to decide where to leave a note. T-M is guaranteed to be opened up tomorrow, right? So someone will see it then, surely. Best to make sure only someone she wants to find her can though.

* * *

Duct taped to the door of T-M Automotive Repair on what Rachel didn't realize was New Year's Eve, was the following undated note:

_Hey, just stopped by hoping I could see Tara and the boys. My house is feeling a little cramped right now, and I __definitely__ need to do some renovating, so I thought I'd go to our vacation place. It's been so busy lately that I may even enjoy not having my cell with me …_

_Anyway, if you could let Tara know I need to see her, it would make me __very Happy__!  
=)_

* * *

**Next up – Happy is informed and the search for Rachel is on**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way … unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency.**

**Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content.**

* * *

**Chapter 24**

Two hours after they had received the news that Rachel was in trouble, the frantic phone calls had slowed down. Jax stared at Clay, Juice, Tara and his mom with a helpless expression on his face. "We've checked everywhere?"

Clay looked back at him. "Son, I don't know what else we can try. I wish I knew where the fuck Piney was."

"Oh shit! I forgot, how the fuck could I forget?" Juice yelled and started tapping quickly on his laptop. "I noticed this when I was checking for Alisha's email, so it didn't really register at the time, Rachel sent an email really late last night her time, saying … Piney had to go to the hospital, he was holding his chest. Opie took him and Rachel cleaned Tig off from Opie and Tig's fight. He wasn't a zombie." Juice paused and snickered, "It's good she checked. Anyway, the point is …"

"The fuckin point is that Piney isn't near a phone and Ope probably has to have his off since he's with his Pops. Tig … if Tig and Opie had a fight, then he's … she said she cleaned him off, so he's not dead." Jax glared at Clay, knowing what that fucking fight was probably about.

Clay ignored him. "Juice that information would have been fuckin helpful an hour ago. Tara can you see if Piney is still there? Get him or Ope on the line? I got no fuckin clue where to call for Tig if he's not answering. If we can't find anyone, we're going to have to call Unser, have him check her place."

Gemma spoke up for the first time. "So which one of you is gonna tell Hap that his girl might have had a hit put out on her and we suddenly can't reach anyone in fuckin Charming?" She paused and snorted when no one answered. "You can't fuckin keep this from him for long, he may know why she isn't answering."

"We'll tell him. Soon. I've called Quinn, he's already on his way. He's got Cookie with him. They're riding as hard as they can. I'm supposed to call before we take off, tell him where we are on the search so he can keep it up."

* * *

Driving up to the cabin, Rachel was finally thinking a bit more clearly. The period between driving into her garage hours ago and now was kind of this hazy blur. It wasn't the violence that shocked her, although seeing someone's skull all over her cheerful kitchen was more than a little shocking, it was the suddenness, the unexpectedness of it.

Peanut was edgy still, but that was to be expected. _My dog is a hero. I thought he was awesome after the Shelter thing, but now? King of Dogs._ Rachel was trying not to focus on anything except driving though, because the last thing she needed now was a stupid car accident. Her side ached and burned and she was so tired from adrenaline and built up exhaustion from the last few weeks that she was a bit concerned about making it there.

_I hope Piney is there._ For someone as fiercely independent as she was to want that, it was saying something. _I'm just so tired of doing it all by myself. Happy has spoiled me._ She trusted Piney to help her out. She liked Opie and most of the time she liked Tig, but … Piney was something special. He cared. Not because she was Happy's girl, but because she was Rachel.

She'd take anyone's help at this point, but she really wanted a damn hug. She was pretty sure he'd be willing to do that. Glancing at her face in the rearview mirror, she suddenly realized she must have touched her forehead when her hands were bloody. Shuddering and scrubbing at it with her sleeve, she decided a shower was going to be the first thing she did when she got to the cabin.

"Son of a **bitch**," she yelled suddenly. "Sorry Peanut, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, sorry baby." _Why the fuck didn't I buy a cell phone before I left town? Jesus Christ. And in my suitcase, there were some in there that I could have at least had with me for an absolute emergency. None of them were safe to use really, but … shit. I really wasn't thinking clearly._

Letting Peanut nuzzle his head on her shoulder as she drove, Rachel grumbled to herself about idiots and brains and surviving means thinking and all sorts of other things that she'd prefer not to have to explain to anyone else when they asked her why she didn't have a cell phone. Then again, it would have been all kinds of awkward to walk into a store with blood on her face …

_Screw it, I'll go up there and sleep. I'll wait through tomorrow, if no one comes, then I'll go get a phone. Probably one closer than Charming anyway._

* * *

When Bobby came to get him, Happy had just finished a fight in what they passed for a ring here. He figured he'd be jammed up in a plane for most of tomorrow, so he should probably let off some steam first. Party wasn't bad either, a combination of New Year's and getting Abel back. Other than a brief housecleaning session for SAMBEL and a very interesting torture session where he picked up a few new tricks, he hadn't really had much to do other than ride or sit around.

Confused, but following along while wiping himself down with his t-shirt, Happy walked into the living room of the apartment they were staying in. Twinges of alarm and nerves hit his chest when he saw the expressions on their faces. Chibs was the only person missing, but he knew that he was watching the fat priest.

Slipping on his blank face, he waited. When all they did was shift and look at each other, his patience snapped. _No, not until they say it._ "What?" _It could be about something else. Except they're all looking at me and they all look fuckin terrified._ "Fucking tell me, something happened, what?"

Scowling, Happy roared, "What the fuck happened?"

"We have information that Rachel may be in danger. There was … " Clay trailed off as Happy's fist went through the wall.

Bracing himself against the wall, back to the room, he bent his head and tried to breathe. _Damnit Rachel, why can't you be safe? I need you to be safe. My life is supposed to be the dangerous one goddamnit._

"There was what," he asked quietly.

Jax tried to explain. "We've been trying to get hold of her and we can't. But we can't reach anyone. Piney had to go to the hospital for a chest thing, so Ope is probably there and Tig and Ope got into it yesterday. We know Rachel cleaned Tig up, because she's the one who told us all that in an email she sent last night."

"So she hasn't even been out of contact that long. Why do you think she's in danger?"

When no one responded, he started putting pieces together. _No._ Happy's head suddenly rose up and he opened his eyes to stare at the white stucco wall. "The priest?"

"The motherfuckin priest? Someone better start fuckin talkin," Happy said in a dangerous tone.

"Ashby said he put a … a hit out on her. That it was supposed to be completed this week. We've been trying to reach her ever since."

"Why? Why the fuck would he care … Abel. The shit she's been doing. I knew she wasn't being as careful … FUCK."

Breathing harshly, Happy suddenly spun for the door, pushing Bobby aside as he did it. Moving quickly, he made it to the entrance of the room the fat fuck was being held in before they all caught up with him.

"Happy, Happy wait. You have to think man, what if it hasn't happened yet and he's the only one who can call it off. You gotta wait. Happy!"

Happy didn't even pause while beating the fucker to death with his bare hands. He didn't feel anyone trying to hold him back. He didn't hear a word except the ones in his head. He never noticed when he caved the Priests skull in or felt his brothers finally tear him away from the body. Locked in his own head, all he could do was mindlessly swing until he finally collapsed.

The thought that Rachel could be dead was something Happy wasn't prepared to even consider.

* * *

"Yeah?"

Wayne Unser was wondering what exactly he had done in a past life to deserve this. "Clay, it's Unser."

"Wayne, thank god, did you go by her place?"

Coughing a little he said, "Oh yeah, I'm there now. She ain't here though."

"Fuck, her car gone or anything?" Clay asked.

"Huh, well her car is gone, but she didn't take everything with her." Unser stared at the red mess that was beginning to dry where it was thickest. "I'm going to estimate she was here within the last 8 hours at least."

"Jesus Christ Wayne, just fucking tell me."

"I don't know if she's ok or not, but there's a dead man in her kitchen with half of his head blown off. He's been moved and the blood where he did fall looks like it was sort of wiped up, but not really. The back door has been smashed in. No Rachel, no dog. Now, what the fuck am I supposed to do about this?"

Faintly he heard, "Jesus. Right now, do nothing, we need to find her, don't need the questions that mess will bring. We'll take care of it. Just as soon as we can fuckin find someone to answer their goddamned phone."

"Christ Clay, I can't just ignore this shit. There's a dead man in her kitchen! It would be easier to get the damn police to look for her if they knew what she was running from … whatever this is."

"No Wayne, don't. She doesn't need the heat this would bring and neither do we. She found us Abel man. I'm looking at him right now. Do this for me please."

Unser sighed as he rubbed his face with his free hand, "I'll hold off as long as I can. You need to fucking find her soon though. This is already starting to go off."

"As soon as we can, swear to God. You see any Sons around and they don't look worried, pass along what's goin on and tell them to motherfuckin call me." Clay ordered.

_He does know I don't work for him right?_ "Yeah yeah, I'll keep an eye out. Fuck Clay." Closing his phone, Police Chief Wayne Unser looked around again.

"Christ on a cracker."

* * *

Gemma stepped in front of Clay as he went to open the door to the room. "No baby, I got this. You keep trying the assholes at home. When will Quinn get there?"

"Not soon enough, he said another seven hours or so at least, and that's riding full out. Tara just got off the phone with St. Thomas, said Piney was released a couple hours ago. It still being fuckin New Years Eve in California is not helping us. We'll keep trying, but we need to get packed up and start moving towards the airport soon. SAMBEL is going to take care of disposing of Ashby. There was no way to fuckin salvage that unless we shot Happy."

"I know. Let me talk to him. You are not going to be who he wants to see right now."

Closing her eyes briefly for strength, Gemma slowly opened the door. She could see Happy sitting on the hard straight backed chair next to the bed, his bag already packed and at his feet. He didn't even look around to see who it was.

"Get the fuck out."

"Thought you might appreciate an update. Quinn will be there in about seven hours, and we still can't reach anyone, but it is New Years. We had Unser drive over to her place and he said that she was there within the last 8 hours or so, but she, Peanut and the car aren't there now." Watching his face as he stared at the wall, she thought she saw a flicker of something.

"He also said … he said that there's a body in your kitchen Hap. Someone, probably Rachel, blew half of some guy's skull off. He said she'd moved the body and cleaned up some of the blood, I'm guessing to keep it from being seen by anyone at the front door. Said the back door was smashed in." Maybe Rachel could tell what that expression meant when it crossed his face, but she sure couldn't.

"Tara said that Piney left the hospital an hour or two ago, we should have checked there earlier, but we've got messages for him and Ope everywhere we can think of. We're not going to give up, we'll have Quinn working on it while we're in the air. Figure if you had any ideas where she'd go, you'd have already told us." She took the silence for an answer as she said softly after a long pause, "We love her too Hap."

The barely perceptible nod and tightening of his jaw was the best she was going to get, she knew that. Not touching him or coming any closer, she quietly got up and started to leave. Stopping by the door before opening it, but still looking away, she said, "Rachel is strong Happy. You know how strong she is. Even if she's hurt or shaken by something, she keeps moving. Rachel rolls with the punches better than anyone else I've ever known. She adapts and survives."

Closing the door, Gemma did her best to blink away the tears. _Jesus, he's so fuckin close to the edge you can almost taste it in there._

* * *

Laying her head down finally, Rachel was, well not pleased, but not unhappy, with how things had gone so far. Yes, her home has a dead body in it. But she's not the dead body. She couldn't find a Son to save her life, but they still managed to give her sanctuary in the cabin. No she doesn't have any way of contacting anyone, but she did leave a note and she can go out for a phone tomorrow sometime.

Ignoring the small voice that told her she was being silly, she wrapped herself up in the sweatshirt that Happy had left on the chair in their bedroom. Peanut fed and watered and placed on patrol, with a door ajar for him to go out if needed, Rachel finally let herself relax into the smell of home and fall asleep.

* * *

Piney was at home sleeping after the doctors gave him a new medicine that knocked his ass out. Barely fuckin made it home.

Opie was at Donna's grave, drinking and crying. He had never turned his phone back on after leaving the hospital, didn't even remember it was off.

Tig was slowly waking up in a field where he had been communing with nature and a bottle of Cuervo to dull the pain. His only thought was cracking open the second bottle he had brought.

Lyla and Luann were in LA at a convention, neither of them had cell phones on them at the moment. The kids were with Mary, Opie's mom.

Quinn and Cookie were riding hard, racing to get to Charming. They picked up some brothers along the way, just in case there was a need for more bodies.

* * *

Happy kept breathing.

He was ruthlessly working to battle back all of the fear and anger that wanted to take over. His girl was one of the luckiest or most prepared, he was never sure which, people he knew. Didn't mean she couldn't be caught by surprise, but it always seemed like she found a way to make it through to the other side.

Knowing that she had probably killed someone in their home made him furious. He knew how much she loved that place, and fuck, she should have been safe there. Happy kept trying to picture what could have happened but there were too many possibilities. It also wasn't helping him to stay calm. Rachel needed him to handle this without going off the deep end. He wasn't going to repeat his mistakes.

But he really needed someone to fuckin tell him what was going on there. He could almost hear Rachel fuckin chiding him for expecting them to know ahead of time that this would happen. That she doubted any of them even realized no one was around, let alone that she was in trouble. His girl was way too fucking … logical.

Logical.

Rachel was fucking logical as hell. She also had gotten into trouble with him numerous times for not keeping people informed when she was doin shit when there was danger around. He'd think a dead body in their kitchen fuckin qualified.

So who did she tell? Someone needed to start looking for her message. She would have left something.

* * *

Rane Quinn was feeling sick, less because of the blood and more because of what could have happened. Rolling into Charming very early in the morning on New Year's Day, the four of them were now standing in Happy and Rachel's kitchen._ Christ Rachel. Be safe somewhere._

"Cookie, look for a message. Happy said he was sure that she would have left something somewhere. He's right, she knows better than to just disappear after something like this. She would have wanted him to know if nothing else. Jazz, Tommy head to the clubhouse and see if you can find anyone."

"I'm going to ride to Piney's. We'll deal with … this … later. Meet back at the clubhouse. We need to have her fucking found or better answers than what we have now before that plane lands."

* * *

On the morning of New Year's Day, everyone was finally gathered in the clubhouse. It was the first time in anyone's memory that a party hadn't been held here the night before.

"Alright, so everyone knows the basics. Priest sent someone after Rachel, she killed them, and then she disappeared. We're assuming she did that on her own since the dog and her car are gone too. Also, Cookie found bloody clothes and first aid shit in her bathroom, so she's probably hurt. Definitely armed herself, the ammo boxes in Hap's closet were a mess."

"We have two problems now. The first is that the plane lands in less than three hours. If we don't have something, Happy is going to … we need to fuckin have something. We also need to take care of that body in the house. Shit is starting to stink, and the local Police Chief already knows about it."

Quinn looked at Piney, Opie, and Tig and glared. "Clay had to send him to look since he couldn't reach anyone else." Holding up a hand when there were protests he said, "I really don't fuckin care right now. I get that it was a bad run of timing, but shit. Isn't me you're gonna have to explain to anyway, it's Clay if you're lucky. Happy if you're not."

"Check all of your phones, anywhere she could have left a message. It's too fuckin early to start asking people she might know here in town, doubt people are really awake, but if anyone can think of who she might have told and knew Happy would check with … it'd help. We need to go get started on the house. Piney, we need the van."

Rubbing his face slowly and looking defeated, Piney stood. "Keys are in the office, I'll go get them."

* * *

Thrusting a piece of paper in the air, Piney tried to catch his breath. "Found this taped to the office door. She was here. Ain't no one else gonna sign their fuckin name with a smiley face."

_Hey, just stopped by hoping I could see Tara and the boys. My house is feeling a little cramped right now, and I __definitely__ need to do some renovating, so I thought I'd go to our vacation place. It's been so busy lately that I may even enjoy not having my cell with me …_

_Anyway, if you could let Tara know I need to see her, it would make me very __Happy__!  
=)_

"What the fuck does she mean vacation place?" Tig scowled darkly. "She couldn't have just fuckin said, I'm goin to Lake Tahoe or some shit?"

Quinn glared. "Well obviously she thought one of you yahoos would figure it out. So I doubt it's Tahoe asshole. She talked around everything, including her name, so she was still worried about someone finding her. And she's probably fuckin hurt, she mentions Tara twice."

Opie lifted his head from where it had been laying on the bar. "I don't even know that she and Hap have ever left town together. They don't really get out much. She picked him up in Carson City that one time, but I can't see her calling that a vacation place."

Growling, Quinn stared at the piece of paper laying on the bar. "So we have a fuckin clue, and no one knows what it means? Christ. You three, get that body to Skeeter and start cleaning up the house. It isn't going to help if Happy see's that shit and we still don't know where she is."

* * *

When Rachel woke up after a fitful night of sleep, she realized she was running a slight fever. Cleaning the wound out again, she redressed it and downed a couple of antibiotics that were in the first aid kit. Tara had really outdone herself on this kit, Rachel was pretty sure she could sew her own leg back on with it.

Feeling a little dizzy and realizing she never did eat yesterday, she went out to the kitchen and made herself a bowl of soup and downed a couple glasses of water with a pain pill. Giving Peanut a few pats, she sat outside with her gun in her hand and enjoyed the weather for almost an hour before finally succumbing again to the exhaustion that was stalking her.

Crawling back into bed, she hoped someone would come soon. Not knowing what was happening with Abel was killing her. Maybe when she woke up from this nap she would run out and get a phone.

* * *

Happy was stone. He had told Quinn to look for a message from Rachel, that she'd leave one somewhere. Those were the last words he had said in over fifteen hours. He didn't sleep, he didn't read, and he didn't drink. He simply sat in his seat and waited.

_She's fine. I know she is. I'd know if she was dead. Rachel survives, it's one of the things I love most about her, that she can take any fucked up situation and figure out how to make it better. She's fine._

* * *

Quinn nervously watched the small plane taxi to a stop. He was worried about how Happy was handling this. Happy didn't have a great fuckin track record when it came to dealing with being scared, especially with Rachel in the picture. On top of that, he was really fucking worried about Rachel himself. No one seemed to have any idea of what she meant by vacation place, even though the rest of the note was fairly clear.

SAMCRO slowly gathered around and looked at him, while he stared back at Happy. His eyes were flat and cold and Quinn really wished he had better news to give him.

"You were right, she left us a note. We just don't know what the fuck it means."

Handing it to Happy when he wordlessly put his hand out and demanded it, he saw the faintest of tremors in his brother's hand. "I'm sorry Happy, we're trying, we just don't know her well enough …" he trailed off when he saw Happy's forehead wrinkle.

* * *

A note. Happy was trying to keep control, but it was getting harder. All he really wanted to do was beat the fuck out of someone. How could they not have more than a note? She write it in fuckin Sanskrit or some shit?

Holding out his hand, he read it once. Then again. _She said_ '_our vacation place'. We've never taken a vacation, or really talked about one nearby. _Trying to concentrate, he handed the paper off to Gemma who was impatiently waiting for it, and then turned around to stare down the runway.

_My girl is logical. She assumed that Piney, Opie, or Tig would be reading this … or one of the mechanics since it was found on T-M's door. So it's not something just I would know, it's gotta be something she expected them to know too. Vacation … some place to get away …_

Turning around, he pinned Quinn down with his eyes and said his first words since they left Ireland. "Did anyone check the cabin?" Ignoring the sounds of comprehension around him, he watched Quinn's face as he closed his eyes and shook his head.

"No, and we should have. Fuck."

* * *

Tara had wanted to come with them once she read the note, but Jax overruled her, not knowing what they'd be walking into up there. Quinn and Happy took off in Gemma's SUV, promising that if Rachel needed immediate medical care, they'd call. Happy really wished he could have brought his bike, he needed the peace the road would give him, but they needed the SUV just in case she was hurt. _She's fine, she's at the cabin, it's the only place that makes sense._

Turning into the long driveway, he caught a flash of color off to one side of the house and realized it was her car. Sitting up straighter and feeling the knot in his chest loosen a little, he saw Dog stand up on the porch as they came to a stop. Seeing him drop into an attack stance and hearing the low growl when Quinn stepped out too close, he came out of his odd freeze and hurriedly left the SUV.

He quietly commanded Dog to stand down, before tearing open the door to the cabin and looking through the main rooms quickly. Striding down the hallway, opening bedroom doors, he came to a stop when he found her sleeping in the room that they had gone to after Weston, wrapped up in one of his sweatshirts with a gun laying close by her hand. Closing his eyes in relief and stepping inside the room, he took a deep breath and shut the door behind him.

Moving nearer, Happy scooped up the gun and put it on the nightstand, before kneeling down next to the bed. Studying her face, he was almost reluctant to wake her. It was almost enough that she was here, and alive, and safe. Slowly reaching out a hand, he cupped her face and called her name softly.

* * *

Rising through layers of sleep, feeling better than the last time she woke up, she recognized dimly that someone was touching her. She wasn't alarmed though. She knew that hand.

Opening her eyes slowly, she smiled softly at Happy. "You found me."

"I will always find you."

Rachel was alarmed when she realized that he was shaking. Suddenly realizing that it should have been Piney or Opie or Tig … anyone but Happy, who was supposed to be in Ireland … oh fuck.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that …" Stopping abruptly when he picked her up and wrapped her in his arms, she held him tightly, ignoring the pain in her side. "Shhh, Happy, I'm fine, I'm right here." Tears pricked her eyes when he buried his face in her neck while he tried to get control. Whispering reassurances and telling him how much she loved him, she waved Quinn off when he opened the door.

* * *

He heard the door open and shut, but he didn't fucking care right now. All he could focus on was Rachel. The smell of her apricot lotion, the warmth of her skin, the words she was whispering and the feel of her body overwhelmed him. _She's fine._

Pulling back slightly after taking a deep breath, he tried to fight down the need to take her, to make sure she was still his, still alive. Almost shaking with it, he managed to ignore it until her eyes met his and she recognized what he needed. What they needed. Seeing the acceptance in hers, he let go.

Slamming his mouth against hers, teeth clashing, they ate at each other, barely stopping to breathe. He shifted her body so that she was straddling him and then stood up. Biting at her neck, he moaned when she ground against his dick. Licking a path to her ear, he bit sharply down on the lobe to make her buck against him before he asked if she was hurt too badly for this.

Knowing she wouldn't lie to him, he put her feet on the ground and quickly stripped, while she did the same. Seeing the white bandage on her side, he ran his hand under it and looked at her.

"It was just a graze, I promise. I cleaned it and it's fine."

Nodding, he put it out of his mind as he looked at her. _Mine._ Feeling her little hands run down his chest and grasp his dick, he threw his head back and groaned. Black eyes met dark blue as he fisted a hand in her hair and pulled her head back. Seeing what he needed in her face, he pushed her down onto the bed.

He wanted to go slowly, to show her how much he loved her, but he couldn't. Roughly touching her, making sure she was wet enough, he ran his hands over her entire body while he spread her legs and pushed inside. Closing his eyes and clenching his jaw against the need to pound into her, he opened them when he felt her warm hands touch his face.

"Please Happy. Show me, I need it too. Stop holding back."

Control shattered, he pulled back and slammed into her, again and again. A small section of his mind was trying to make sure he didn't hurt her, but the majority was lost in the sensations. Her hands were pulling at him, legs wrapped around his hips, her body rising up to meet each thrust. He growled as she dug her nails into him, pounding harder, until she suddenly came, surprising them both. Her body pulled his over the edge with her, an almost soundless shout ripping through him.

Gasping for air, forehead to forehead, neither of them moved for a long moment.

* * *

Rachel quickly made their excuses when they reached T-M and everyone was caught up on what had happened with Abel and her. Happy hadn't said much since they left the cabin, but he was touching her in some way the entire trip back. Like if he let go, she'd disappear. It was time to be at home, where the masks could come off.

"You need your side looked at Rachel," Quinn tried to protest.

Staring up at him in exasperation, she finally yelled out Tara's name. When she got closer, she whipped her shirt up to expose the bandage and pulled it down. "This look ok for now? Doctor Quinn, Medicine Man is hovering."

Turning to her side and stretching a bit so Tara had a good view, she asked if anyone knew if their home was … vermin free. Flashing a grateful smile at the guys who said they'd taken care of it, she looked over at Tig. "Tig, can you watch Peanut for us for awhile? Just until I can make sure the glass is all picked up." Peanut happily trotted over to Tig when she released him and Tig called.

Peering closer at the puffy red furrow on her ribs, Tara said quietly, "It doesn't look too bad. Keep taking the antibiotics. Make sure you clean it really well and keep it covered. I'll look at it again in a couple days."

Deciding to leave her car there for now, she let Happy tug her over to his bike and help her on.

* * *

Wrapped around Happy's lean body as he pulled into the driveway, she didn't want to let go. Forcing the tears from her eyes, as all of the panic of the last day or so and the stress of the last month tried to crash down at once, she bulldozed it all back down for now. _Fall apart later. You didn't just travel halfway around the world hoping that Happy wasn't dead._

Not having the garage opener on them, they dismounted in the driveway. Turning to her and cupping her cheek, Happy's solemn eyes were darker than normal. Reaching up to touch his hand, she was alarmed to feel the broken flesh under her fingers. _How did I not notice this the entire trip back?_

"Happy, my god, what happened?" Rachel exclaimed as she pulled his other hand up as well.

Shaking his head slightly, he didn't answer at first. Finally he lifted her chin to force her to look at his face. "He tried to have you killed. He paid for it."

_He beat him to death, or at least started it that way. He killed Ashby for me._ Hugging him tightly around the middle, she said gratefully, "Thank you." Disturbed from her very comforting hug by Happy spinning them around and putting his body between her and the street, she understood when she heard the car stop in front of the house.

"Are you Tomás Lowman?" The man in an expensive looking navy business suit asked as he got out of the expensive sedan.

Putting Rachel behind him, Happy looked at the guy. "I am … who needs to know?"

"If you could show me some ID, I have a package I need you to sign for." Hearing Rachel cuss behind him, he darted a look over his shoulder to see her staring at the man with narrowed eyes and a disgruntled expression on her face.

"Are you from Bells and Matisse?"

"Yes ma'am, I am." Ignoring her when she started muttering, the man looked back at Happy. "Mr. Lowman?"

"Rachel?"

"Just show him some ID, they're very persistent. I know what it is, I should, I fuckin sent it. Damnit, I've never been that careless ..." Rachel halfway explained before trailing off into annoyance.

Getting a large manila envelope after showing the man his driver's license, he had to then sign a form stating that he'd received it. _It just feels like paperwork._

"Well at least I suppose I still know it works. Although I shouldn't have to set that shit up again, ever."

Nodding to the man as he walked back to his car and drove away, he waved the envelope at Rachel questioningly.

"Inside, it's not really that big of a deal. Well it is, but it isn't now." _Confusing, infuriating … alive, mine._

* * *

Getting inside and looking around, he had a better idea of what happened now. Hearing Rachel confirm it was like a punch to the gut though. "Jesus Rach, that was … fuck."

"Yeah, I swear I have a guardian angel sometimes. The timing was almost fucking perfect. I told Peanut he was getting steak for the rest of his life. I'm also pretty sure that your tennis shoes saved me from actually being shot."

Looking at the door and remembering how banged up Dog's face was, he agreed. _I'll fuckin cook them myself._

Holding her close, face buried in her hair, he tightened his arms until he heard paper crinkle. Lifting the envelope a bit, he looked at it. No writing on it, a seal on the seal with Rachel's signature to show it was unopened. _The hell is this?  
_

Taking her by the hand, he led her back to their bedroom and shut the door behind them. Both of them immediately stripped off their shoes and got comfortable, before sliding into the middle of the bed together. Putting the envelope on her stomach as he propped himself up next to her, he lifted a brow and waited.

"I'm not sure how you're going to take this, but honestly, I had hoped you'd never get it this way. The week I stumbled into that Zobelle shit, I went to my lawyer's office and had my will changed and a legal power of attorney drawn up. I also assigned a medical liason and power of attorney in the event I was incapacitated or unable to act for myself in some way. I put a copy of it all in here with a letter and instructions on who to call to access my offshore accounts, after I had added you."

"I used to use a service when I was Sniffer. You gave them something that could be mailed or delivered in the event of an emergency or a signal that you created. Bells and Matisse are the local lawyers for the service. My signal for it was a daily check in call. There was a period when I got the papers back in order to change out the letter inside, but I sent them back before Abel's kidnapping."

"With all of the shit the last few days, I must have missed my third call in a row. I tested it years ago, but it's good to see it still works the way it's supposed to," Rachel said while tapping the envelope. Looking down at it and then up at Happy, who had been watching her face as she spoke, she smiled and handed it back to him.

"This is yours now. It's been yours for awhile, but there wasn't really a good time to go over it. I knew if something happened to me that you probably wouldn't look in the safe right away, if you even thought about it. So I arranged to have this given directly to you. If they couldn't find you within a week of trying, they were to take it to T-M and give it to Gemma, who would be instructed that it was to go to you."

Taking it again with a confused look, he suddenly realized what she had been saying all along. "You arranged, months ago, for me to … are you serious? That's a lot of power over your life Rachel."

Rolling up onto her side and thankful it wasn't her hurt one, she scooted close to his face. Serious blue eyes stared into their dark counterparts. "I trust you with everything I am Happy."

Hands reached for each other at the same time. Letting her set the pace this time, Happy let Rachel soothe away all of the fear and worry he had been carrying the last 24 hours. Soft kisses and gentle nips were spread along his stubbled jaw, clothes were removed and skin caressed. Sitting up partially against the headboard and pillows, he pulled her on top of him. Swirling his tongue against her nipples and massaging one of her ass cheeks while his fingers worked inside that tiny body, he watched her eyes as they slowly slid out of focus and her body began trembling around him. Her low moan of his name made his painfully hard dick twitch.

Still, he wouldn't give in, not this time, this time he wanted to give, not take. Propping his knees up and centering her over his dick, he spread her legs wide and rubbed her wet folds against his body. Feeling the slick wet slide of her was almost more than he could handle, as she begged him to fill her, to take her. Pulling her down to take her mouth, he put his hands on her hips as he moved her back and forth. "I need to feel you again baby girl. Come apart for me," he whispered against her lips. When she started to shake and grind herself down against his dick, he slid his hands around and palmed her ass, spreading her further apart with his fingers.

Lazily rubbing his fingers against her from behind, gently flicking the still swollen nub of nerves, he waited patiently for her to catch her breath. Soon her head rose out of his neck and he was rewarded with a brilliant smile. Shifting forward, she slowly slid back until he was completely sheathed inside her.

"God Rachel, you feel so fucking good. You always feel so good," he groaned while tipping his head back. Feeling the strong muscles in her legs flex against his hips and her hot mouth start to work the spot on his neck that drove him crazy, Happy ran his hands over every inch of that soft warm skin that he could reach while she rode them both into sated exhaustion.

* * *

Waking up a few hours later to take a piss, Happy saw that manila envelope out of the corner of his eye. Remembering Rachel had said there was a letter inside as well, he quietly broke the seal and tipped it out.

_Happy,_

_I never wanted you to receive this envelope. I've put off talking about it now for awhile, but it seems some circumstance has finally forced my hand._

_The paperwork attached to this will give you control over everything I am. If I'm hurt, you make the decisions on how I should be treated. If I'm unable to make legal or financial decisions for some reason, you will be able to. If, god forbid, I'm dead … everything goes to you, including Peanut and the cats._

_If I've been hurt or have died because of something that came out of the club, I know you'll be blaming yourself. Stop it asshole. I lived so many more years than I ever thought I would. Lately it's felt like I lived those years, many of which were trials to endure, just to have this time with you. Cheesy huh? Doesn't make it any less true._

_Before we got involved, I sat and thought very hard about what I was doing with my life. Was I living it, or simply surviving it? I ultimately decided that I was just surviving. You helped me learn to live. You forced me to learn to open up and trust, to forgive. You taught me that love means accepting that no one is perfect. I knew for the first time in my life, someone else would have my back. And no matter what happened to cause you to get this envelope, I __**know**__ you had my back._

_Recently we had a really rough spot to get through, after I was hurt by Weston. The other night I was watching you sleep, and it suddenly occurred to me that I'm going to be able to do that for the rest of my life. It wasn't a bolt from the sky, or a moment that had me gasping … it was a quiet, sure, knowing thought where I realized that we both want this too badly to fail. _

_I may run from being hurt, but you'll always drag me back. You may clam up and hide yourself, but I'll always pull you back out. We may look from the outside like an odd couple, but inside, we fill the spaces in each other that are fragile. You're my strength and I'm your emotion. _

_You don't make me weak Happy … you __**allow**__ me to be weak._

_If I have died, please do what I told you so long ago. __Live for me.__ I may never get a chance to do the things we talked about, but I can still experience them with you. Because I refuse to leave you, even in death._

_I love you,  
Rachel_

Swallowing hard, Happy looked over at Rachel, who was innocently sleeping, unaware that she had just leveled him.

* * *

**Next up – Epilogue**


	25. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way … unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency.**

**Fair warning: There is violence, cussin', and sexin' ahead, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content.**

* * *

**Epilogue**

A little over six months later, Rachel dove shallowly into their pool in the gorgeous summer sun, surfacing only when she ran out of air. Peeking over the edge, she smiled at the picture of Happy and Peanut. Happy was eating grapes at the table, under the now forest green umbrella, and occasionally flicking one out into the yard for their weird dog to chase.

"You know he won't actually eat those, right? He'll get it in his mouth and freak out that it's round and slimy," Rachel giggled.

Happy quirked a single brow at her and replied, "Why do you think I do it?"

Standing up as she floated away on her back, Happy made his way to the edge of the pool, eyes fastened on her. "You all packed?" he asked, as he eased himself into the warm water.

"Mmhmm, and I already dropped Annabel and Lily off at Luann's. Peanut is already packed too and has a few bags of food at the clubhouse. We're going to get back and he's not going to want to come home. All those Sons to love …"

Allowing herself to float gently away from the man slowly stalking her, Rachel hid a smile.

* * *

A few weeks after they had returned from Ireland, the house was almost completely repaired. Rachel spent long days cleaning and repainting walls, then refinishing the hardwood floors in the kitchen and hallway to remove all traces of blood. Happy had stopped grumbling about her doing all the work when she explained that it would help her get over what had happened, that it would be their house again, not marred by what she had been forced to do.

The refinishing of the floors helped Rachel in more ways than one. It did allow her to purge the memory of what had happened, but it gave her time to finally process everything else that had happened recently. She was able to finally grieve for Kip too. Using the repetitive motions, she slowly started calming down from the high of the stress, letting go of all the shit she had been carrying and bottling up.

Hanging the new patio doors was a treat. Redwood Originals had picked up two new prospects a week after they returned and neither of them were skilled in the art of home repair. Rachel had ended up doing a great deal of it herself and using them for the muscle. They all conspiratorially agreed not to mention that to anyone.

Writing up a grocery list, trying to get ready for the huge combo party SAMCRO was holding next weekend, all weekend, Rachel was humming along with the radio while leaning over the counter and swaying to the beat. Hearing the door, she smiled a tiny little smile and made sure her swaying twitched her hips.

"Hey lover, be careful, I hear my boyfriend is a jealous man," she said when she felt the hands come around her hips and a lean body press into her.

Pulling her up straight and wrapping his arms around her, Happy bent down and nipped her neck. "Oh he is, a very jealous man," he growled into her ear, watching as she shivered in reaction. Spinning her around and lifting her up onto the counter top, he fit himself in between her legs.

"Nooner? We haven't had one of those in a long time …" Rachel purred as she wrapped her legs around his hips and leaned forward to scrape her nails across his scalp.

Cupping her face and laying a gentle kiss on her lips, Happy smiled. "Baby girl, I'm always up for you, morning, noon, and night. Wanna talk though."

Eyebrows shot up and a concerned expression instantly replaced the growing arousal that had been forming on Rachel's face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," Happy said as he chuckled. Squeezing her tightly around the middle, he took a deep breath. _This is harder than I expected, shit._

Looking into her eyes, he explained, "We talked once about you getting the crow, but you were right, I wanted to do it for the wrong reasons. Thank you for stopping me, because that would have been something that always had that shit attached to it."

Eyes still confused, but showing relief that nothing was wrong, Rachel smiled a little at him. "You're welcome Hap. I don't understand what you're …"

"Now I want to do it for the right reasons Rachel," he said simply, watching her.

Blank shock appeared on her face, before a slow smile replaced it, starting in her warm blue eyes. "Ok. I have a condition though."

A bark of laughter startled Lily who had just bent down to get some food. "Of course you do. Let's hear it."

"I want it on both sides. I know how you fuckin are and if we put it on my back, I'll never see your damn face again when we're having sex. So whatever you put on, it has to be mirrored on the same spot on the other side of my body," she said impishly, eyes twinkling at him.

Staring at her in shocked disbelief, he finally started laughing, a laugh that began deep inside and forced its way out of his body. "Damn Rachel, you are something else. I accept your condition, like it was ever in any fucking doubt." Pulling something out of his pocket, he handed it to her expectantly.

Rachel leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss before opening up the folded piece of paper. "Oh Happy, it's beautiful!" And it was. She had to admit, she had never really warmed to the crow. She'd accept it, because that was club tradition now that he was patched into SAMCRO and not a Nomad, but it wasn't really her. This … this was.

It was still a crow, but it had flashes of color along the wings that lightened it from being so serious. Instead of the normal spread wings, this crow was standing up almost majestically, proudly. The absolute best part was the little apricots and smiley face's scattered around the crow's feet. She could see this on her body … it rode the line between serious and playful very well.

"You really have a thing for that body lotion I use, don't you?" Rachel said as she threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you for making it something I'd like too."

"Tig helped, believe it or not. Asked what I thought of first when I thought of you and you were far away. Fucker laughed and called me a pussy when I told him, but this is what we came up with. Got any idea where you want it?"

"I'll have to thank Tig as well then. Oh I might have considered the idea a time or two," she said with a nonchalant air. More seriously, she touched the area below her collarbone on her left side. "Here please, with a reverse on my back, same spot. That way I'm yours all the way through."

Leaning down to kiss her deeply, Happy murmured against her lips. "Rach you've always been mine all the way through."

* * *

Seeing Rachel drift off into thought, he wondered what she was thinking about. Leaning against the edge of the pool, enjoying the warmth of the day and hearing the buzz of a lawnmower from a few doors down, Happy reflected that shit had definitely changed.

Watching the way the water beaded up on her crow, he remembered the party the weekend after he put it on her. Neither of them were the type to show off or talk about their private lives, which is why it took people so long to figure out they were together. _And I had to fuckin kiss her in the middle of the clubhouse for them to get a fuckin clue even then._

The weekend after he inked her, on both sides as she had requested, he wasn't surprised to see that she wasn't wearing an outfit that would immediately show it off at the party. It didn't bother him, they both knew it was there, and what it meant.

When he had finished that letter the night they returned, Happy forced himself to let her keep sleeping. He hadn't even been sure what the hell he'd have said to her anyway. Part of him wanted to scream at her for even preparing for shit like that, expecting it, accepting it. Another part of him was battling the urge to fuckin cry, something he hadn't done since he was small.

Sitting in the window seat that night, staring at her face where it was illuminated in the moonlight, Happy realized that she was right. This shit wasn't temporary. Maybe it hadn't been from that first talk, where they had shared secrets and stripped themselves bare for each other just long enough to give them a glimpse of who they really were.

It had taken months before they were able to trust each other enough to show more than those temporary glimpses, but now it was when they were around other people that they pretended. At home, together, they were simply themselves. They were still the same people, but they had smoothed each other's rough edges, made them fit. She was right.

So yeah, they both knew what it meant when, for the first time in his life, he claimed a woman as his. He wasn't like some of the younger brothers, who did shit like that and then paraded her around. Neither of them would be comfortable with that many fuckin people staring at them. He would have been fine with someplace only they would ever see, but he knew why she picked the place near her heart.

A few hours after they had arrived at a party that felt like it had every Son in the country attending, Happy heard Gemma's voice ring out in disbelief and annoyance.

"What the fuck Rachel, why the hell didn't you tell anyone? Lemme fuckin see that."

Tilting his head slightly, he could see Rachel drop her head as she realized what she'd just done. From what he could see, it looked like Abel had spilled something on her outer shirt and she had taken it off, leaving her in one of those sexy little tank tops that showed a lot of skin. As she held still while Gemma peered at her back, he saw her smile slightly at something Gemma said to her.

Turning around, she straightened her spine and tried to ignore all of the eyes pointed her way, catching his look and giving him a 'Sorry, I fucking forgot' expression that she wiped before Gemma caught it. Gemma was now holding her shoulders and twisting her front and back so she could compare the crows.

He had altered the sketch slightly when he inked her, so that when you saw the crow on her back it looked like you were seeing the back of the front tat. Like it truly went all the way through. Took awhile to get all of the details right and make it so you could still see the defining elements on both, but he had to admit it came out well.

Giving her a hug and letting her hide her face in his t-shirt after Gemma finally let her go, he leaned down to whisper to her. "Once they've all seen it, they'll leave you alone. I know you hate having all of this attention on you girl, but it was going to happen today anyway because of how you helped Abel and shit. May as well get it all over with at once."

* * *

Startled out of the past, Happy opened his eyes when he felt her small hands slide up his abdomen to his chest. Snaking his arms out and catching her to him, he grinned when she squealed. Holding her slippery body and staring into her darkening eyes, the mood slowly shifted from playful to sexual.

Leaning back farther against the pool, he lifted her up slightly and wrapped her legs around his hips, nestling her against his cock. Closing his eyes for a second when she moaned and bucked her hips at him, he palmed her ass and rocked her slowly against him. Neither of them said a word as she leaned away from him and using only her legs and stomach muscles, slid herself over him until they were both breathing hard.

Pulling her closer so he could untie her bikini, he bit down gently on her fabric covered nipple as he fought with the wet tie before finally pulling it away. Jerking his hips up when he felt her hand slide down into his trunks and wrap around him, he abandoned her bottoms to push his own trunks down. Sliding her silky bikini covered center against his now free dick, he ran a finger along the inside edge, but not touching where she wanted until she was shaking slightly and pleading silently.

Still not talking, they stared into each other's eyes as he slowly peeled her bottoms off of her and resettled her against him. Sucking at his bottom lip, Rachel held Happy's hands against the edge of the pool with her own. Letting her take control, he was rewarded a few seconds later when his dick was suddenly inside her tight hot heat. Trying not to move, letting her control shit, he almost lost it when she didn't move at all.

Then he felt her start to squeeze him rhythmically, over and over, as she clenched and seemed to ripple around his dick, but still didn't move; just leaving her hips pressed tightly against his. Biting down on the plea to ask her to fucking move, please move, and locking his hips in place, Happy leaned his head back, still watching her with hot dark eyes.

Fists clenching and muscles starting to strain against themselves, he lost it when her body started shaking and he could feel her spasming uncontrollably around him. "Jesus Christ Rachel," he grunted as he felt her milking him. Leaning forward and slanting his mouth over hers, he slid one arm around her waist, anchoring her to him as he jerked his hips in small thrusts, still deeply buried inside her.

Swallowing the cries that were now escaping, as he broke her control as well, Happy pulled her head back so he could run his lips and tongue over that silky neck. Keeping those short jerky thrusts, slamming his pelvis against her clit, he brushed a kiss against the ink that marked her as his.

Hearing the whine in the back of her throat, he curled both of his hands around her shoulders and started pulling her down at the same time as he snapped his hips forward. Watching as the flush deepened again over her neck and traveled down to the top of her chest, he looked into those deep blue eyes that were fastened on his.

Knowing he didn't have much longer, that his control was slipping fast, he pulled her forward so her entire body slid against his as he pulled her down over and over again. Sucking on her lobe, and biting gently, he could feel the trembling start deep within her. Lips pressed against her ear, Happy huskily whispered, "Come for me wife."

* * *

Just as most of their relationship hadn't been traditional, the proposal wasn't either. Happy had inked her six weeks earlier, and it was now completely healed. Rachel was just coming back from a run and smiled as she saw him asleep on the couch with a book on his chest.

Annabel was staring at him from the top of the couch, and Rachel hoped she remembered what happened the last time she jumped on him when he was asleep. Thinking back on that, she pointed her finger at Annabel and stared until the obviously suicidal cat finally walked away from Happy. Eyes softening as she looked back at him, she went to take a shower.

Staring into the mirror after taking her shower, she ran her fingers over her tattoo and bit her lip. It was stupid to feel nervous. He fucking branded her for god's sake. Which by the way, made her inner woman want to both cheer and bitch slap herself. Her inner monologue was becoming increasingly psychotic in her opinion.

Hearing a shout as she walked back down the hallway after throwing on some clothes, she moved out of the way as Annabel came skittering past with what she'd swear was a feline grin of satisfaction. "Idiotic cat," she muttered, as Rachel went into the living room to assess the damage.

Happy was sitting up with his shirt yanked to his chest, examining the brand new holes in his stomach. Looking up at her as she fought to keep the smile off of her face, he scowled. "We're putting a fuckin bell on that one. That's the second time this month that she's ambushed me, the little shit."

"Constant vigilance!" Rachel quoted with a laugh as Happy threw a small pillow at her.

"Fuckin Harry Potter, I don't know how the hell you convinced me to read those."

Rolling her eyes and pushing his shirt back down, she made herself comfortable straddling his lap, smiling inwardly as his arms automatically came around her and held her close. Taking a deep breath and filling her lungs with Happy scent, she reached two fingers into the pocket of her shorts and removed something.

Leaning back a bit so she could see his face, even as he made a protesting noise, she slowly opened her hand and watched him. Dark eyes stared at the simple gold band for a long moment before sliding up to her eyes.

"You asked me to be yours forever with ink, the way you do it in your world. I'm asking you to be mine forever, the way I do it in my world," she explained softly. The actual answer was lost in the crush of his mouth against hers, but she was pretty sure it was yes.

* * *

One week later, standing in an ecstatic Rosa Lowman's living room, with only Happy's family and Quinn in attendance, Rachel and Happy quietly married. No one noticed their rings for almost a month.

* * *

Coming down off of her orgasm, feeling Happy trying to catch his breath against her neck, she ghosted a kiss against his temple. Even while they had made their commitment to each other, to their relationship, a public one, things hadn't been all sunshine.

With the wisdom that comes from age and the surety that comes from being loved by a man like Happy, Rachel knew that the fights and arguments they had would never really stop. In private they were both passionate people, with opinions and experiences that were often completely opposed to the other. It didn't lessen what they had, didn't break it down, because they knew that eventually they'd figure out a way past it.

Where it really mattered, they weren't that different at all.

Feeling him shift and one of his strong hands start to rub up and down her back, Rachel leaned back enough to gently kiss him. Cupping his face, she rubbed her nose with his and said, "Thank you."

Knowing she wasn't talking about the sex, his eyes held a faint question.

"Thank you for waiting until tonight. So we could spend the day doing things like this. I know that's why you changed the time we were leaving. You knew I'd miss it and you wanted to give me a chance to say goodbye."

A quick smile flitted across his face, but she saw it. She always saw it. "I just didn't want to start the trip with it being so hot out, figured you'd be more comfortable if we left tonight instead. Had nothing …" he trailed off as she pinched him.

Pressing her lips against his she murmured, "It's rude to lie to your wife when you still have your dick inside her," holding on tight when he started laughing. One of her goals in life was to make Happy laugh as much as possible. Best sound in the fucking world.

Letting him move her around slightly, she nestled her head in the crook of his neck and relaxed into his warm body. Happy had patched into SAMCRO not long after they returned from Ireland, but told her that he still wanted to go on the road occasionally, for things other than jobs. She agreed and then said that he had to take her with him on at least the first one. If they both had fun, then it could be their vacation. If they didn't, then he could go and she'd do something else. Tonight they'd be leaving for two weeks to go on the road, visiting various charters along the way.

In return for his trips, solo or not, she had gotten the concession that he stop being such a man about her money. She pointed out that if they didn't use it, most of it would end up in government hands when they died anyway, because it's not like they would ever have kids to leave it to. They had set up substantial trusts for Abel and Thomas, who had been born just a week ago, so that when they turned 18 they could use some of it for college. If they choose not to go to college, they would receive it all at 25. They hadn't mentioned it to Tara or Jax yet.

Right now it simply meant that they used a combined account to pay for Rosa's care and their bills. Later, when Happy started slowing down and she was retired, they had discussed exploring the world together. Neither of them had been out of the country more than a couple times, and always for work. The idea of buying a bike and traveling Europe together until they got tired of it had a pretty powerful appeal.

Today though, smiling as her husband rubbed a hand gently up and down her back, they were still in Charming, quietly drifting and enjoying the peace before the next storm hit.

* * *

**A/N: Warning, excessively long authors note follows which says a lot while not saying much at all. =)**

This is the end of Rachel and Happy's story. Yes, it is open ended enough to revisit their world if I want, but I don't know that I will. I've got an idea, but it hasn't really compelled me yet, which is one reason I think this came out so well. I **had** to write this. In any case, if I don't, I'm happy with where they are and god knows they fought to get there.

_I promise if I do write anything more in this world, I'll put an excerpt/summary on a new chapter here so that those who are following this get a notification._

When this originally came to me, the idea of a woman who could fit with the Happy in my head, I hadn't really envisioned much of her other than some basic personality traits. I think the Rachel that emerged is someone that is realistic, who I'm proud of creating, but hopefully she doesn't come across as a Mary Sue (I think that's what the term is). These two are always going to have issues.

Their life together just isn't ever going to be sunshine and roses – it's going to be small moments of peace, like the ones detailed in the epilogue, surrounded by violence from the club (legitimate earnings will never take over completely) and stress from life. It will be endless compromises, complete with arguing. It's bending some of the things that make them who they are, like her independence and his need to protect, until they can work together.

I apologize to Kozik and Chibs fans. I couldn't quite figure out how to work Kozik into the story any deeper, although I did want to. Chibs … I love Chibs a lot, believe it or not, but I can't write that accent for the fuckin life of me. I spent more time fucking with the accent portion of those chapters than I did anything else. I was kind of relieved that he was hurt for so long, as horrible as that sounds, so I could ignore him.

I wrote this, abandoning my husband in the process, in 17 days according to the date stamps on my Microsoft Word files. I probably left plot holes or dangling strings and I'm sure there are plenty of places my grammar and/or punctuation is off. Of course writing for characters who speak like the Sons made sentence structure a lot more forgiving. I am still very proud of it considering this is the first piece of fiction I've ever written.

I've enjoyed writing this and sharing it with you all. I know I've said this before, but I really did only write this for me in the beginning. Well, I said it and then later edited out all of my old A/N's, but the point remains. To know that so many other people thought it was worth reading was something of a surprise, but the best kind. I got a pleasurable thrill out of every single review or PM, favorite and follow notification.

Even if I never write again once this is completely posted, I'll never forget this experience, and a lot of that has to do with **you**.

Thanks again for coming along,  
MidwestJen


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